Menstuff® has compiled information, books and resources on the
issue of violence.
Click on covers for more specific information.
Its not about mental illness:
The big lie that always follows mass shootings by white
against womenit's a men's issue - Video 19:07
Use a Gun, No More Fun
56 Times in 81 Seconds
Bad Girls - Women's
Stones - and School Yard Killings
Gender Bias Okayed by Circuit
Teens at Risk
Violent Victimization Rates by Sex,
When Victimization becomes
Does the Sex of the
Snapshots of Children's Exposure to
Of A One Punch Knockout
KSU expert says male
college students also victims of violence at girlfriends
Common in College
Related Issues - Talking With
Kids About Tough Issues, Abuse
- Ritual, Abuse - Sexual,
Bullying Girls, Circumcision,
Violence, Hazing, Online
Harrassment, Prisons, Sexual
Harassment, Teacher's Pet,
TV Violence, Violent
Girls, Chic Fights, Womens'
Violence, Really Bad Women,
Women who Sexually Abuse
Children, and Teacher's Pet
Books - Related topics of Abuse
- Boys, Abuse -
Children, Abuse -
Ritual, Abuse -
Harassment,, Women's Violence,
- Emotional and Sexual Abuse and Trauma
to Violence programs
Q&A Slide Guide on Gangs
A Violence Tax
Here's an idea. People pay extra to enjoy some freedoms. Cigarettes
and alcohol have special taxes to pay for the outcome on society of
those life styles. Why not charge a Violence Tax on video's, films,
etc. that support or promote violence, especially those directed to
the adolescent market. After all, society, women, children and men
suffer at great cost from the results that these profitable ventures
promote. Don't eliminate the freedom to purchase - just make it
Use a Gun, No More Fun
In California, if you're 14 years or older and use a gun in
conjunction with a crime, you'll get 10 to life. Life if you shoot
someone with it. 20 years if you fire and miss. And 10 years just for
using it without firing it. In Oregon, Measure 11 that went into
effect April 1, 1995 says: If you are 15 or older and if you do any
of 21 crimes in Oregon, you must go to prison for a long time! Murder
is just one of the crimes. Some of the others are done everyday. Here
are some examples.
- Robbery II: You alone or with a friend want
someone's baseball cap. You either pretend to have a weapon or
threaten to beat the owner up. You and your friend go to prison
for 5+ years.
- Assault II: You and a friend get into a fight with
another person. Your friend pokes the other person in the eye with
the handle of a hairbrush, a stick, etc. The eye is injured. You
and your friend go to prison for 5+ years.
- Sexual Abuse I: You and a date are at a movie. You
touch your date's buttocks, crotch or breast. Your date tells you
to stop. You ignore this and touch your date there again. You go
to prison for 6+ years.
- Kidnapping II: You hear that someone is messing
with your friend. You go to their house and force them outside to
beat them up. You go to prison for 5+ years.
- Manslaughter I: You are driving under the influence
of alcohol, drugs and/or inhalants. You cause an accident and
someone dies. You go to prison for 10 years.
Here is a list of all the Measure 11 crimes and how long you will
stay in prison if you are found guilty. No probation! No
parole! No early release! Just prison.
- Robbery II (5/10)
- Robbery I (7/6)
- Sexual Abuse I (6/3)
- Unlawful Sexual Penetration II (6/3)
- Unlawful Sexual Penetration I (8/4)
- Sodomy II (6/3)
- Sodomy I (8/4)
- Rape II (6/3)
- Rape I (8/4)
- Kidnapping II (5/10)
- Kidnapping I (7/6)
- Assault II (5/10)
- Assault I (7/6)
- Manslaughter II (6/3)
- Manslaughter I (10)
- Conspiracy to Commit Murder (7/5)
- Attempted Murder (7/5)
- Murder (25)
- Conspiracy to Commit Aggravated Murder (10)
- Attempted Aggravated Murder (10)
- Aggravated Murder (30 to life)
Think first! Remember, no probation, no parole, no
early release! Just prison.
Modeling Non-Violent Behavior
Children are not born violent, violence is learned. And according to
Adults & Children Together (ACT) Against Violence, this learned
behavior has often taken root before age 8.
Knowing that it is becoming increasingly difficult to prevent a
child from being exposed to violence through media and outside the
home, the campaign reminds that the earliest and strongest
influencers of children are parents, caregivers and teachers.
The campaign's ad messages remind parents and other caregivers
that their everyday actions and reactions are teaching ever-observant
children to deal with life and it's obstacles in either positive or
Viewers are invited to visit the web site or call the organization
to help them develop specific skills for positive role modeling and
The campaign is funded by the MetLife Foundation, and was
originally launched in 2001. New work was released in July 2005.
Sponsor Organization: American Psychological
Association, National Association for the Education of Young
Children, MetLife Foundation Web Site: www.actagainstviolence.org
or or call 1-877-ACT-WISE or www.adcouncil.org/default.aspx?id=53
56 Times in 81 Seconds (ich
schleigh umher betrubt)
From the double CD Eleven Shadows, by Irian Jaya, comes this
piece. Just as we saw the missiles over Bagdad and the murders in
Tiananmen Square we saw the beating of Rodney King with batons on
video. It was clear cut. 56 times in 81 seconds. "Something like
this..." and we hear the 56 hits in 81 seconds with the singers in
the background. Interesting that the sensitivity to atrocities came
from Germany. It would appear that their is still great sensitivity
to brutality from their past, while me may be numb to governmental
violence in a way that their citizenry was in the 1930's . Just
remember when you saw the video. "Don't go back to sleep" as Rumi
would say. Remember, "56 times in 81 seconds." (See Free bumper
sticker offer here.)
Marin County, CA is targeting drivers who use exit lanes or shoulders
to pass, flash their lights, cut in and out, flip off other drivers
and generally comport themselves with more anger than brains. The
CHP (California Highway Patrol) has received an extra $715,000
to pay CHP officers in four areas across the state patrolling on
overtime only for road ragers.
Sticks and Stones
and School Yard Killings
The front page of the April 21, 1999, San Francisco Chronicle
read "Killing Rampage at School: Suicide attack blamed on
2 students." Just two students? Or is it a wake-up call for all of
We can blame it on the availability of guns, or movies, television
or war toys as innocent as GI Joe. We can even point, in this
case, at Goth. But in doing that, I suggest we look where our other
three fingers are pointing and take responsibility for the part we
played in this scenario. Yes, all of us. For, you see, I think the
problem goes much deeper that what the newspapers or "expert"
psychologist are saying. The problem lies within virtually every home
in America. While the solution may be more difficult, I think problem
is very simple.
Name calling. Feeling insecure in our
selves, or developing a dislike or even hate of people who are
different from us (race, religion, sexual preference, and the hate
list goes on), we start by passing on jokes that malign others, then
name calling behind someone's back, then finally to their face. Names
beyond the many raciest names we all know.
These killers in Littleton, Colorado weren't athletes, or pep
squad leaders, or the popular kids at school. The "killers" at the
previous school killings weren't either. But those are the people
they targeted. And, I think, they just got tired of being called
weirdo's, nerds, geeks, freaks, stupid, slobs, or whatever words the
in-crowd uses to attack someone's self-esteem. After a while, these
young men can't deal with it anymore and return the attack in the
only way they can see that will stop the abuse.
The message they are sending is "Stop calling me names" and no one
is listening. So, the name-calling and ridicule continue. And the
communities involved start focusing on an action plan and gun control
and fences around the schools and more security checks, more
shakedowns, and the list goes on. While short-term those may be
necessary, they are only short-term solutions.
We all must get actively involved with this problem. Really look
at all the ways each of us becomes a perpetrator. Then, start
teaching our children about the dangers of name calling and the
importance of developing respect for everyone, especially those who
are different in some way than we are. Outside the home by standing
up and saying "Stop calling him (or her) names" or "I don't think
that joke is funny" or "Stop sending me those emails." In school,
send the name callers to the principles office.
As an adult, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will
never hurt me." But as a kid who doesn't "fit in," or look the part,
or isn't as popular as "Joe cool," names not only hurt, they
It can get frustrating as a parent or non-parent knowing what to
do. And, while there are a number of good books and how to work to
reduce teen violence, cultural violence and the shadow violence that
lurks without each of us, many of us won't go to the effort of
getting one of these books to start the work now.
In the meantime, the following are some steps you can take to stop
violence among young children, from Parenting for Peace &
Speak out to your family, friends, and co-workers to develop an
awareness of the "accepted" violence among teens and children,
including name calling, insults, pushing, shoving and kicking.
Support conflict-resolution programs in your home, school and
community to help children (and adults) learn now to solve problems
without resorting to violence (hitting, kicking, throwing something,
slamming doors, phones, pencils, etc.).
Volunteer in parent education classes or as a "resource parent"
for young teen and first-time parents to help participants parent
without resorting to violence. Volunteer for the teen crisis line, if
you really want to get a reality check about what's happening to the
youth in your community! If you're man enough, that is.
Help your children select nonviolent toys, television programs and
movies. DON'T BUY WAR TOYS!!! Read books to your children that
promote peaceful conflict resolution.
Speak out against movies and television programs that glamorize
violence or make it funny. TV Violence
Lead by example. Children learn more from our actions than our
words. (Don't Laugh at
Gender Bias Okayed by Circuit Court
The 9th US Circuit Court of Appeals puts it stamp of approval on bias
against men in sentencing. A district judge had earlier concluded
that prosecutors treated men more harshly than women when both were
accused of being drug couriers. One Arizona study showed that prison
sentences for men are longer and that 35% of women got probation
without prison, compared to only 11% of men. Nevertheless, the
Appeals Court said prosecutors should be given "extreme deferences"
and "appropriate respect" when they decide to charge one person (men)
and let another (women) off. The court told the district judge that
the sentences he gave three men were too low. He had given them lower
sentences to make them comparable to the sentencing of women. The
court ordered him to raise the sentences. So much for equal
protection under the law.
Teens at Risk
A study conducted by the Gallup International Institute found that
26% of teenagers had been hit or physically harmed by a parent or
other adult in the home, and another 10% have been hit by an adult at
school. Re: sexual abuse, 6% of teens say they have friends who have
been sexually abused by someone in their households. The report also
covers findings on drugs, alcohol abuse, teen smoking, health care,
AIDS prevention, and abortion. Send to the Gallup International
Institute, 47 Hulfish St, Princeton NY 08542 for a copy.
609.921.6200. See also Issues - Jailhouse
Rock and Merchandise
Slide Guides - Safe Dating Guide, AIDS Education Guide, STD Education
Guide and Facts on Gangs.
Violent Victimization rates by Sex,
Year Total Pop Victim (M/F)
1973 48.5 68.0 31.4
1974 49.1 69.4 31.3
1975 48.9 66.8 33.1
1976 48.5 65.8 33.3
1977 50.5 71.1 32.4
1978 50.2 70.0 32.8
1979 51.5 69.7 35.3
1980 49.4 68.1 33.0
1981 52.6 70.9 36.5
1982 51.0 66.9 36.9
1983 46.2 61.7 32.4
1984 46.2 60.6 33.4
1985 44.7 59.5 31.6
1986 41.9 54.3 30.9
1987 43.7 56.8 32.0
1988 44.2 55.0 34.4
1989 43.4 56.8 31.4
1990 44.0 57.6 32.0
1991 48.0 64.5 33.4
1992 47.8 59.3 37.2
1993 49.9 59.8 40.7
1994 51.8 61.1 43.0
1995 46.6 55.7 38.1
1996 42.0 49.9 34.6
1997 39.2 45.8 33.0
1998 36.6 43.1 30.4
National Crime Victimization Survey: 1973-1991
data adjusted to make data comparable to data after the redesign.
Homicide data were calculated from the FBI's Supplementary Homicide
Children's Exposure to Community Violence
- In New Haven, CT, a 1992 survey of 6th, 8th, and 10th graders
found that very few were able to avoid being exposed to violence.
Among these inner-city children, 40% reported witnessing at least
one violent crime in the past year, and almost all eighth grades
knew someone who had been killed in a violent incident.
- On the South side of Chicago, IL, surveys conducted in 1985
found that among 500 elementary school students, one in four had
witnessed a shooting and one-third had seen a stabbing. Among 200
high school students, almost two-thirds had seen a shooting and
close to one-half had seen a stabbing. Three in five of those who
witnessed a shooting or stabbing indicated the incident resulted
in a death. More than one-fourth of these young people reported on
the survey that they had themselves been victims of severe
violence - that is, they had been shot at, suffered a knife
attack, or been beaten or mugged.
- In Boston, MA, a 1993 survey of parents at a public hospital
indicated 1 out of every 10 children under the age of six had
witnessed a shooting or stabbing.
- In Washington, DC, a 1993 survey was conducted with 165
mothers of children, ages 6 to 10, living in a low-income
neighborhood characterized by police statistics as having a
moderate level of violence - where there might be an occasional
murder or violent incident, but such incidents were not a weekly
event. The mothers surveyed reported that 32% of their children
had been victims of violence, ranging from being chased or beaten
to having a gun held to their head. They also reported that 61% of
their children in grades one and two, and 72% of their children in
grades five and six, had witnessed violence. Interviews directly
with the children indicated that the level of exposure may have
been even higher.
- In New Orleans, LA, a 1993 study gathered interview data from
53 African-American mothers of children, ages 9 to 12, in a
low-income neighborhood characterized by police statistics as
having a high level of violence - where a murder or more than one
violent incident occurred on a weekly basis. The study found that
51% of the children had been victims of, and 91% had been
witnesses to, some type of violence. When the children were asked
to draw pictures of "what happens" in their neighborhoods, they
drew in graphic detail pictures of shootings, drug deals,
stabbings, fighting, and funerals, and reported being scared of
the violence and of something happening to them.
- Source: The Future of Children: Domestic Violence and
Children, Volume 9, Number 3, Winter, 1999.
Global Move To Scale Up Response To
The World Health Assembly has unanimously adopted a resolution which
recommends urgent action to stem the public health impact of violence
globally. During deliberations on the Resolution representatives from
WHO s 192 Member States reflected on the devastating impact of
violence on physical, mental and reproductive health and the vast
amount of human and financial health resources required to respond to
Fear on Campus: The Problem and Prevalence
Stalking on college campuses is occurring at an alarming rate and it
now appears that college students are at greater risk of being
stalked than other populations.
Violence in Baseball Emulates Hockey
Randall Simon, a Pittsburgh Pirate, has been issued a disorderly
conduct citation and fined $432 for smacking a mascot over the head
with a bat during last night's game against the Brewers in
Milwaukee's Miller Park. During a between-innings race involving
Brewers employees dressed in massive bratwurst, hot dog, Italian
sausage, and Polish sausage outfits, Simon, a 240-pound first
baseman, swung his bat at the head of the Italian sausage as the
mascot passed the visitor's dugout. The blow knocked down the
19-year-old woman dressed in the costume and caused her to "receive
injuries," according to this Milwaukee County sheriff's report. After
the game, Simon, 28, was led from the stadium in handcuffs by
sheriff's deputies and taken to the Milwaukee County Jail.
1. Randall Simon takes baseball bat to team
mascot (story above). 2. Vitali Klitschko TKO's in fight with
Lennox Lewis. 3. Cubs pitcher Kyle Farnsworth punches Reds
pitcher Paul Wilson as league decides not to enact rules similar to
the NBA and NHL to cub fighting. We say, "Let's play ball
without the brawl, children."
The WHO Violence Report: Does
the Sex of the Perpetrator Matter?
Recently, we posted our analysis of the WHO's World Report on
Violence and Health (1). Even though violence
is a problem that predominantly affects men, we criticized the WHO
Report as being biased because it emphasizes the less frequent
instances of violence against women.
But some persons have taken issue with this conclusion. They argue
that since men are more likely to be the perpetrators of violence,
then isn't the emphasis on female victimization justified? In other
words, shouldn't male-on-male violence be less worrisome than
Our response is that we believe the sex of the perpetrator is
irrelevant to the issue. Consider these questions:
1. Mothers are more likely than fathers to abuse their children.
When daughters are being harmed, should society be less worried about
that because it represents female-on-female abuse?
2. In almost all cases, the persons who abduct infants from
hospitals are female. When a woman abucts a baby girl from the
hospital, is that less of a concern then when a woman robs a baby
3. Several recent books reveal that up to one-quarter of all
lesbian relationships are affected by domestic violence
(2-4). Should victims of lesbian partner
aggression be ignored because they have have been involved in
4. In Africa, the practitioners of female genital mutilation are
female. Does that fact make female genital mutilation a less gruesome
We believe the answer to all four questions is "No." Our
compassion for the victim of abuse, aggression, or violence should
not be diminished by the gender, race, or any other characteristic of
the perpetrator. A person who has been harmed by violence warrants
our concern, regardless of the sex of the person who caused the
So we come back to the assumption implicit in the WHO Report that
male victims of violence deserve less attention and services than
female victims -- doesn't this represent a pernicious example of a
Contact Information: Etienne Krug, World Health Organization,
Department of Injuries and Violence Prevention, 20 Avenue Appia,
CH-1211 Geneva 27, Switzerland. Call + 41 (22) 791 3480 or Fax + 41
(22) 791 4332. Cost of first-class postage from the United States: 80
1. Men's Health America. The WHO Violence Report: When
Victimization Becomes Invisible. October 17, 2002. groups.yahoo.com/group/
2. Girshick LB. Woman to woman sexual violence: Does she call it
rape? Boston: Northeastern University Press, 2002.
3. Kaschack E (editor). Intimate betrayal: Domestic violence in
lesbian relationships. Haworth, 2002.
4. Ristock I. No more secrets: Violence in lesbian relationships.
Super Bowl Bound
Ravens Afraid to Play the Best
The Baltimore Raven's have said it themselves, basically. If they
knock out the quarterback, maybe even end his career, they won't need
to play against the very best. Sort of a hollow victory, if they win.
Maybe the Giants should adopt the same strategy to level the playing
field. Fair's fair. The Raven's talk about the "Great players" known
for dirty playing. And they've purposefully, with premeditation,
knocked out three quarterbacks during the play-offs. A lot of late
hits. They don't seem to care about breaking the rules. They'd
probably use a folding chair, if they could get hold of one. And, it
doesn't seem like the fines are enough. Do we want the NFL to
become the WWF? They'll probably end up there, or in prison. Off the
field, their actions would bring felony charges. Maybe that's a fine
that Tony Siragusa and his fellow thugs would understand. Then it
would return the game of pro-football to a field of the best, not
Sibling violence may have serious
Brothers and sis!ters who fight like cats and dogs are not unusual,
according to a Florida researcher. But the fact that many siblings
fight does not mean it is harmless. www.healthcentral.com/news/newsfulltext.cfm?ID=45840&src=n49
Health groups link media to child
Children love teen horror flicks, shoot-'em up interactive video
games, hard-core rock and rap and risque television.
And in one of the most definitive statements yet on violence in
American culture, four national health associations link the violence
in television, music, video games and movies to increasing violence
"Its effects are measurable and long-lasting," the four groups say
in a statement. "Moreover, prolonged viewing of media violence can
lead to emotional desensitization toward violence in real life."
The joint statement by the American Medical Association, the
American Academy of Pediatrics, the American Psychological
Association and the American Academy of Child and Adolescent
Psychiatry was to be the centerpiece of a public health summit
Wednesday on entertainment violence.
"The conclusion of the public health community, based on over 30
years of research, is that viewing entertainment violence can lead to
increases in aggressive attitudes, values and behaviors, particularly
in children," the organizations' statement says.
Advocating a code of conduct for the entire entertainment
industry, Sen. Sam Brownback, a Republican, compared the statement to
the medical community declaring that cigarettes can cause cancer.
"I think this is an important turning point," said Brownback.
"Among the professional community, there's no longer any doubt about
this. For the first time, you have the four major medical and
psychiatric associations coming together and stately flatly that
violence in entertainment has a direct effect on violence in our
The Motion Picture Association of America and the National
Association of Broadcasters refused to comment Tuesday on the medical
The four health professional groups left no doubt about their
feelings in the statement:
--"Children who see a lot of violence are more likely to view
violence as an effective way of settling conflicts. Children exposed
to violence are more likely to assume that acts of violence are
acceptable behavior," it said.
--"Viewing violence can lead to emotional desensitization toward
violence in real life. It can decrease the likelihood that one will
take action on behalf of a victim when violence occurs."
--"Viewing violence may lead to real-life violence. Children
exposed to violent programming at a young age have a higher tendency
for violent and aggressive behavior later in life than children who
are not so exposed."
Brownback said he hopes the statement will convince lawmakers that
something has to be done about media violence. And, "I hope parents
will look at this and say that they're going to have to police their
children's entertainment violence content the same way they police
what their children eat and other health issues."
One entertainment violence monitoring group, The Lion and Lamb
Project in nearby Bethesda, Maryland, cheered the statement.
"Right now, the message we're sending children in the media is
that violence is OK ... that it's part of life and sometimes it's
even funny," executive director Daphne White said. "We're even using
violence for humor now."
Jeff Bobeck, a spokesman for the National Association of
Broadcasters, said television now has V-chips and a rating system to
help parents take control of what their children watch. "We think
more parents need to control their remote control," Bobeck said.
But White said the entertainment industry markets video games and
toys to children based on R-rated movies, has increased the violence
in movies and shows that are rated for children and even previewed
adult-oriented movies during children's G-rated movies. "The industry
has been actively marketing adult stuff to children while saying it's
the adults' fault," she said.
On the Net: Motion Picture Association of America: www.mpaa.org/
National Association of Broadcasters: www.nab.org/
The Lion and the Lamb Project: www.lionlamb.org/
Sen. Sam Brownback: brownback.senate.gov/
Bobby Knight - How Contrite - Good Night!
What do Knight, Spreewell, Tyson, Davis, Ditka and the recent U.S.
Olympic (Pro) Hockey Team, to name just a few, have in common. They
are all out-of-control and want us to accept that that's just the way
it is. Too harsh? I think not. On Mother's Day, when many
metro newspapers were doing page 5 and page 9 stories on "Violence in
Youth Sports Spreading", "Foul Play in Youth Sports", and "Violence
in Sports Spreading in Youth Ranks," in addition to all the stories
on the Million Mom March, our white-haired darling Bobby Boy got
Front Sports Page mention in all of these metro papers and then
some. You can't pay PR firms to get this kind of coverage,
so could it be the alumni association flexing their muscle or sports
writers coming to his defense (James Prichard of the AP was the
BK positive author of most of them)? I wonder. Here's
a man who is reported to have grabbed former player Neil Reed by the
throat, attacked a former assistant last November, attacked an SID,
throwing a vase at a wall when he couldn't get his way with an IU
secretary, firing a starter's pistol at a reporter, shooting a friend
in a hunting incident and hot reporting it, throwing an LSU fan in a
dumpster, fighting in a parking lot with a diner who took exception
to a too-loud racial characterization by Knight, hitting a Puerto
Rican policeman during the Pan Am Games, kicking his own son during a
game, and spending a lifetime in smelly gyms bullying other people's
children. A man who once said "If rape is inevitable, relax and enjoy
it." Who put a tampon in a player's locker to motivate him. The
record seems to stand on its own. Men end up in prison for less than
what he's done, though he did get 6 months for the Puerto Rico
incidence, which has yet to be served. I guess it doesn't matter if
you're in Indiana and you win basketball games, though let the record
also show he hasn't won a national championship in 13 years
In his 330 word statement he said he was "trying" to control his
emotions. Emotions are okay, in fact encouraged. He needs to
understand the difference between emotions and control his otherwise
out-of-control behavior. He said he needed to be more diplomatic.
What he needs is 26-52 weeks in an alternatives to violence program.
And, he needs to stop "trying" to do it and "Do it". Coaches
strangling players. Players strangling coaches. Maybe we should just
turn off the TV and wait until these athletes can get it together, if
they want to, and then see if we can enjoy sharing a basketball with
our kids again, sans Bobby Knight.
Can We Stop School Shootings?
The August, 1999 issue of Psychology Today addresses this
Some Things Parents Can Do
From the 3/20/00 Newsweek article on children's violence, the
following suggestions were made on things the parents can do:
- Talk to Your Children - about guns and violence. Explain that
weapons are not toys and that kids should never play with them.
Tell your kids that if they see an unlocked gun in a friends
house, they should stay away from it and inform you about it
immediately. If you have a gun in your home, unload it and lock it
away; store the bullets in a separate place, also under lock. Hide
the keys. When your children are older, make sure they get
training in gun safety.
- Get to Know the parents of your children's friends. The more
you know, the easier it is to spot potential danger away from
home. Ask other parents if they have a gun, and if they do, ask
whether it's locked up. This is a difficult conversation but it's
important because nearly half of all accidental shootings of kids
under 16 take place in the homes of friends and relatives.
- Never leave young children home alone, even for just a few
minutes. As your children get older, make sure you always know
where they are and who their friends are. Studies show that
unsupervised children have the most behavior problems and are most
likely to resolve conflicts with violence.
- Encourage Your Local School to develop a violence-education
program that includes information about gun safety as well as no
hitting or slapping and ideas about conflict resolution. These
programs are not just for teenagers; even children in early
elementary school can benefit.
- Monitor What Your Kids Watch on TV and in the movies. Scenes
of explicit violence should be off limits for school-age children.
Young kids aren't able to distinguish between what looks like
reality on screen and real life.
Remember That You are your child's primary role model. If you
carry a gun, you could send your kid the message that guns solve
disputes. (Sony Brings You:
Dropping Bombs on Your Moms.)
You've Gotta See This!
The two magazines above on the left rolled by next to each other at
check out and I see what you see. Jennifer Lopez pointing a finger at
you with the headline "Line of Fire", and Newsweek's cover on a 6
year old boy killing his classmate. When I get home, I had also
purchased Psychology Today for an article on stress but the woman on
the cover looks more angry to me. Five years ago we wouldn't have
seen an angry woman on the cover of a respected publication. And, if
you read the story on the six-year-old shooter, the reason he wanted
to scare her is that she hit him. Ask any teenage boy if he's ever
been hit or slapped by a girl. I wouldn't be surprised if it well
surpasses the number of teenage girls slapped or hit by boys. In
saying that, it doesn't excuse anyone to act out revenge on someone
else. everyone must take responsibility for their own violence and
not point the figure somewhere else. Hitting and slapping are
physical violence and it shouldn't matter which sex is doing it. And
this culture glorifying women using physical violence against men,
who they know can't do anything about it without a felony charge. TV
is full of examples that women are giving young girls and their
daughters. "He deserved it" is not longer a valid excuse. It's still
battery. If doesn't deserve a violent act in return, but it should
expect the batterer to be punished. If this gets across to the kids,
maybe some real progress can be made in making this world safe for
children. When everyone takes responsibility for their own violence
and gets help. And, hopefully, the gun manufacturers will introduce
some of the measures they have been testing before the people get
angry enough to put them out of business all together. Some
things parents can do.
* * *
O! it is excellent to have a giant's strength; but it is tyrannous
to use it like a giant. - William Shakespeare
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