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The Art and Angst of
Gift Giving
The high concept of giving a gift is to show your
appreciation and affection for the recipient.
Sometimes, however, even with the best intentions,
the gift is inappropriate, unwanted and even just
plain wrong, wrong, wrong. Like a rhinestone dog
collar for your great Aunt’s newly deceased
Pomeranian, some gifts can even horrify. Your heart
may flutter in anticipation of the smile that your
well-chosen gift will bring and in the next moment,
crash to the ground when the awkward silence
announces that you goofed. Here are seven rules to
help you over the moment of Kris Kringle
cringing.
Lists. Ultimately,
it is your dollar, and therefore your choice, but
to improve your aim, do ask for lists from your
favorite people. A good giver tries to get in safer
territory by doing some preliminary questioning.
Duplicates. Is
there any chance you bought the exact same present
last year? If you cannot remember what you gave to
whom twelve months ago, start keeping a record this
year. Next December you will be glad that you did.
Prioritize. Your
spouse or partner deserves the best gift. If you
are planning on a big present for your child or
buddy, make sure that an even nicer purchase goes
to your beloved or you will pay all year in hurt
feelings.
Start Early. One of
the reasons last minute gifts are often rancid is
because they are last minute. Halloween is a good
clue to start ordering special items for special
people. Monograms, engravings, favorite colors and
brands make gifts appear planned and thoughtful.
Satisfaction. If
they say they want the Prince racquet and you buy
the Wilson just to save three dollars, you are
going to disappoint. Try to purchase the exact gift
and name brand that someone covets because it may
really matter to them.
Do It Yourself. For
the people that really count, shop and select their
present yourself. You may save time by delegating
but a mistake could cause you great embarrassment
as when one father gave his six-year-old daughter
an engraved locket with her name misspelled. He had
delegated the job to his secretary and only
succeeded in proving that he was too busy for his
daughter. (“Remember that, Dad?”)
Joy. Even if you
have a faux pas present, stay true to your
intention of demonstrating that you care about the
person, admit you made a mistake with good humor.
Promise to try harder next year, return the gift
this year and do whatever you can do to reassure
your loved one that you really care and did not
mean to disappoint them on purpose. If you are a
repeat offender at bad gifts, plan shopping outings
that you pay for but have someone else select the
gift.
Enjoy your shopping
experience and do the best that you can. Remember
that holidays represent more than material
exchanges of goods and services, especially, as you
open you gift of yet another multicolored tie that
you will never wear. Happy Holidays to you and
yours.
Dr.
©2009, Molly
Barrow
* * *
Dr. Molly
Barrow holds a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and is
the author of the new book, Matchlines:
A revolutionary New Way of looking at relationships
and making the right choices in
love. She is an
authority on relationship and psychological topics,
a member of the American Psychological Association
and a licensed mental health counselor. Dr. Molly
has appeared as an expert on NBC, PBS, KTLA, and in
O Magazine, Psychology Today, Newsday, MSN.com,
Match.com, Women's Health and Women's World. Please
visit: www.askdrmolly.com
or Take the new relationship compatibility test,
Match Lines Systems for Successful Relationships
for Singles, Couples and Business at
www.DrMollyBarrow.com.
Molly has a radio program, Your Relationship
Answers at www.blogtalkradio.com/drmollybarrow
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