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Dad's Dozen Protects Children
Fathers, take a moment to feel peaceful love for
your children. Then, check out these crucial tips
to make your child safer and protect your precious
offspring from lurking danger.
1. Now I Know my
ABC’S. If your child is old enough to
learn their ABC’S, then teach them their phone
number instead including 1, area code and number.
Beginning at age two, children need to know their
first and last names, your first and last names and
complete address, including your town and state.
2. Role Play .What
if no one picked you up at school? What if someone
knocks on the door with a package for you? What if
Mom falls down and can not get up? What if someone
told you we were dead or sick and wanted you to go
with them to the hospital? Do you tell anyone on
the phone that you are home alone? Teach your child
to make an emergency call by dialing
“911” or “0” in an emergency.
Law enforcement officials would rather send out an
officer on a false alarm then have a kid hurt or
kidnapped.
3. Secret Word and
Place. Always decide a designated meeting place
in theme parks or malls like easily recognized
McDonalds Restaurants. Many children, who get
separated from their parents, do not consider
themselves “lost” if they are still
having fun. Be sure to clearly define
“lost” as not with Mom or Dad. Make up a
secret family pass-phrase that no adult could
guess, and that is a funny visual picture your
child will remember, such as “The blue
hippopotamus is hungry.” Teach your child to
ask permission from their parent, teacher or
baby-sitter before they go anywhere.
4. Tingly Tummy.
Children have no experience with evil doers,
but they do have survival instincts. They may not
recognize a kidnapper or predator other than a
funny feeling in their stomach that is warning them
of creepy danger. Encourage this awareness by
asking them in different situations, “Do you
feel safe, does this feel right, can you sense
danger?” when they are considering jumping off
a high place, reaching to pet a strange dog, or
when near a too friendly stranger or a loud
bully.
5. Behave
Appropriately. We teach our children to quietly
acquiesce to adults but if they are taken by a
stranger teach your child to throw a full blown
tantrum, yelling, “Kidnapper, Help” while
kicking and trying to break loose. Once they are
safely away, they can go to an employee of the
store, to a police officer or to a family for help
if they get lost, frightened by an attempted
kidnapping or predator. Tell your child not to
stray from you in a public place because someone
might try to steal them.
6. Smile. Police
need a full face photo taken within the last six
months or if your child is under the age of two,
four times a year. Prepare a kit for each child
that is an emergency box. Place a current photo, a
detailed description of your child, including
height, weight, age, eye and hair color,
birthmarks, broken bones, scars, moles, physical
characteristics or medical needs inside the box.
Include names, addresses, and parents' names of
your child's friends, favorite parks, and
activities. Ask you dentist to prepare a full
dental chart on your child that is updated with
each new tooth change. Ask your doctor for a copy
of your child’s medical records and remind
them to note on their chart that information is
never to be released without your written approval.
Consider keeping in a sealed envelope an old
toothbrush, baby teeth, a bloody band aid or a lock
of hair as a DNA sample for the highest level of
identification. Arrange with your local police
department to have your child fingerprinted
(officers make it easy and fun) and give you the
fingerprint card. Just imagine if someone said your
child belonged to them, not you. The contents of
the box will help prove you are the parent and help
police find the child if he or she is missing.
7. Just for a Second.
A tired, burnt out parent only needs to drop
their guard for a second to allow a predator time
to act. Always accompany your child to the bathroom
even if other adults act uncomfortable. To protect
your child, never hesitate to take a child with you
to a men’s or women’s restroom regardless
of the sex of the child rather than send them in
alone. A child is not safe playing unsupervised in
your yard, walking alone, home alone or left in a
vehicle, ever. The parents that have a toddler
leashed to them may seem harsh but imagine how you
would feel if your sweet, attention deficit child
or unruly toddler wandered off in the opposite
direction. When you have two or more children the
difficulty of maintaining safety and order can grow
exponentially.
8. You Were Suppose to
be Watching. Is someone drinking while watching
the kids and protesting it is only a few beers?
Someone needs to be the designated care taker and
be sober, watchful, capable and kind. Become aware
if your spouse or baby sitter seems oblivious or
less sensitive to their duties. Depression,
illness, alcohol and drug use in a care taker can
leave a child virtually unattended. Do not permit
it to continue. If a spouse wants to drink while on
duty, sell the car and hire a daycare to keep your
children safe. Drop in on babysitters and the
daycare unexpectedly. Sit around and watch for
awhile. Listen to what your child says happens
there after you are gone.
9. Check Yourself.
Are you attracted to younger and younger people? Do
your friends wolf whistle at adolescent girls? Are
you looking at pornography that uses young teenage
girls or boys made to look older? Usually troubled
runaways succumb to posing for these photographs
because they are destitute or on drugs. When you
buy this kind of pornography you are helping to
exploit these children. “Developing and
championing “model legislation” with
regard to child pornography is crucial to a
successful outcome in the fight against child
pornography. Strong child pornography legislation
is currently in place in only 5 of the 186 Interpol
Member Countries.”
(http://www.icmec.org/missingkids). Were you
molested as a child? Sometimes if you were the
victim you become extremely tuned in and more
protective. Yet, too often old fear kicks in and
leaves you powerless to protect a child, even when
the truth is right in front of your eyes. Talk to a
therapist confidentially and regain your ability to
protect your children and others from knowing
firsthand what you experienced.
10. Can They Tell
Dad? Usually a child will try to tell an adult
about molestation or incest once. If you do not
believe them or tell them they are lying, often
they will not tell anyone again. Let a child know
that you will listen to them, believe them and stop
anyone who tries to hurt them, even if the
perpetrator is your best friend, grandpa, a
relative or neighbor. Unfortunately, the child
often knows the person who hurts them and that
causes great confusion and guilt in the child. If a
child is fearful or tries to avoid someone, you
must pay attention, they are asking for your help.
Some people use teasing and joking to grab and
touch a child, then make fun of them if they
complain. Those adults are using your child and
hiding behind humor. Stop them. When your child
puts personal information on their clothing or on
the Internet it is an open door to every scumbag in
the world. Simply say no to your child and explain
why.
11. Newborns. In
the past twenty years, the highest number of infant
abductions has been in California, Texas and
Florida. The profile of a typical abductor is an
overweight female who usually plans the abduction
ahead of time and takes advantage of an opportune
moment to seize a baby. The woman often
impersonates a nurse or healthcare worker and
enters a hospital room and takes the baby for
testing, etc. But an abductor could be
anyone.
“While it is normal
for new parents to be anxious, being deliberately
watchful over the newborn infant is of paramount
importance. Never leave your infant out of your
direct line-of-sight even when you go to the
restroom or take a nap. If you leave the room or
plan to go to sleep, alert the nurses to take the
infant back to the nursery or have a family member
watch the baby. .. If you are uncomfortable with
anyone who requests to take your infant or unable
to clarify what testing is being done or why your
infant is being taken from your room, it is
appropriate to go with your infant to observe the
procedure…have at least one color photograph
of your infant (full, front-face view) taken along
with footprints and compile a complete written
description of your infant including hair and eye
color, length, weight, date of birth, and specific
physical characteristics.”
(www.missingkids.com)
12. Call Them.
Professionals are ready to help you. “Since
1982, the National Center for Missing and Exploited
Children has spearheaded the national effort to
prevent child abductions and return missing and
exploited children to their families. In
partnership with the Office of Juvenile Justice and
Delinquency Prevention (OJJDP), NCMEC continues to
enhance and expand its ability to offer critical
intervention and prevention services to families
and support law enforcement agencies at the
Federal, State, local levels.”
(http://www.ncjrs.gov/pdffiles1/ojjdp/fs200128.pdf).
The Kentucky Missing and Exploited Children Unit
was organized in 1984 to create a centralized
clearinghouse to assist law enforcement agencies to
locate and return missing children to their homes.
Many stores, like Walmart, have a Code Adam plan of
action—if a child is missing in the store,
employees immediately mobilize to look for the
missing child. Check out
http://www.missingkids.com,
http://criminaljustice.state.ny.us/missing/i_safety/icac.htm
and http://www.take25.org for more information. The
reality of today’s world requires parents to
be super vigilant and take precautions and
preventative measures to prevent kidnapping,
exploitation, Internet crimes, pornography and
violence. Take the lead, Fathers, in protecting
your children by being there, being watchful, and
being trustworthy guardians.
©2009, Molly
Barrow
* * *
Dr. Molly
Barrow holds a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and is
the author of the new book, Matchlines:
A revolutionary New Way of looking at relationships
and making the right choices in
love. She is an
authority on relationship and psychological topics,
a member of the American Psychological Association
and a licensed mental health counselor. Dr. Molly
has appeared as an expert on NBC, PBS, KTLA, and in
O Magazine, Psychology Today, Newsday, MSN.com,
Match.com, Women's Health and Women's World. Please
visit: www.askdrmolly.com
or Take the new relationship compatibility test,
Match Lines Systems for Successful Relationships
for Singles, Couples and Business at
www.DrMollyBarrow.com.
Molly has a radio program, Your Relationship
Answers at www.blogtalkradio.com/drmollybarrow
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