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Our Military -Their
Homophobia
"Eligibility for military service requires certain
physical abilities and attributes, including age,
height, weight, and physical ability requirements.
Furthermore, U.S. law prohibits service members
from engaging in homosexual acts and prohibits
lesbian, gay or bisexual service members from
stating their sexual orientation. © 2008. Paid
for by the U.S. Navy. All rights
reserved."
Although I am deeply
grateful and respectful of military bravery on my
behalf, I need some clarification on these
statements put out by our Navy.
The first issue is that a
good number of men and women still serving in all
branches of the military are older, overweight and
not physically strong or mentally as sharp any more
so perhaps the first statement needs to say
"sometimes requires certain physical abilities and
attributes, including age, height, weight, and
physical ability requirements."
Okay, that may not be a
big deal but I think the next two points are
important even if they make some people
uncomfortable.
The second issue is how do
we define homosexual acts. Are those the behaviors
that people of the same sex often practice, like
oral or anal sex? There are some, no many, hetero
couples doing those things, too! Imagine two
soldiers having oral sex and being accuses of a
homosexual action - even if they are male and
female. Ridiculous. Or is it the doing of those
acts, any touching acts, with a same sex partner.
Where do contact sports, towel snapping and
wrestling fall in that discussion? We need some
clarification here.
The third issue is that if
a military service person who is gay, lesbian or
bisexual can not talk about their sexual
orientation, shouldn't that clearly
"discriminatory" sentence be rewritten to also
include banning heterosexuals from stating their
sexual orientation? Otherwise, you could have a
group of heteros talking freely about their
preference of sexual partners, while some of the
group must sit quietly in forced silence in fear of
"breaking U.S. law" or even worse, become liars for
the benefit of homophobia. Doesn't forced silence
of some, shout more loudly than a quiet statement
of fact spoken when the time is right to share
personal information? A silent service person may
be assumed gay, when in reality, they could be
private people, shy or religiously inhibited from
discussing their sexual exploits in public.
My stepfather was a Navy
man and had to deal with living on a ship with all
men. I wonder how many gay, bi or lesbian people
have already given their lives to keep America
safe? These heroes along with American Indians,
Blacks and women have often been disregarded for
their sacrifice because, somehow, they are less. My
personal friends who have different orientations,
skin color or gender are just as valuable as the
next guy. Our Army, Navy and Marines belongs to
America, not just to straight people. Our military
and government are micro-managing individuals while
the whole country is in disarray. Perhaps, it is
time to redefine and move forward.
©2009, Molly
Barrow
* * *
Dr. Molly
Barrow holds a Ph.D. in clinical psychology and is
the author of the new book, Matchlines:
A revolutionary New Way of looking at relationships
and making the right choices in
love. She is an
authority on relationship and psychological topics,
a member of the American Psychological Association
and a licensed mental health counselor. Dr. Molly
has appeared as an expert on NBC, PBS, KTLA, and in
O Magazine, Psychology Today, Newsday, MSN.com,
Match.com, Women's Health and Women's World. Please
visit: www.askdrmolly.com
or Take the new relationship compatibility test,
Match Lines Systems for Successful Relationships
for Singles, Couples and Business at
www.DrMollyBarrow.com.
Molly has a radio program, Your Relationship
Answers at www.blogtalkradio.com/drmollybarrow
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