7 Sexual Secrets Every Man Needs to Know
Most of the men and women I work with as a
therapist are worn down by the battle of the
sexes. They would both like to settle into a
comfortable, loving, and sexually satisfying
relationship. One of the big blocks for men is
accepting female sexuality. Why isnt
she more interested in sex? Why does
she get so upset when I look at other women?
Im just looking! Why
isnt she more interested in experimenting
sexually? This ight help.
Male and female sexuality may have more to do
with our brain chemistry and hormones than many
would like to think. Louann Brizendine is a
neuropsychiatrist who is helping women (and men)
understand the secrets of male and female
sexuality. This is a good thing for everyone.
Heres what Dr. Brizendine said in a recent
interview with Dr. Oz.
"The female brain is a "fabulous learning
machine" that governs a woman's life from birth to
birthing and beyond, says Dr. Louann Brizendine, a
neuropsychiatrist and author of The Female
"Dr. Oz talks with Dr. Brizendine about what
makes the female brain unique, as well as some of
the fascinating changes that occur in the brain
over the course of a woman's life. Here are just a
few of her recent findings:
"Birth of the female brain
- Up until eight weeks, every brain is female.
In males, a huge testosterone surge hits and
kills cells off in the communication center, and
grows more cells in the sex and aggression
- In females, huge amounts of estrogen spur
brain growth and enhance circuits and centers
for observation, communication, gut feelings and
"The teen girl brain
- During puberty, a girl's primary purpose
(from a biological standpoint) is to become
sexually desirable and attractive.
- Girls speak two to three times more words
per day than boys do and they also talk faster.
Connecting through talking activates the
pleasure centers in a girl's brain, Dr.
"The mommy brain
The brain shrinks during pregnancyit does
not lose cells but changes metabolism and
restructures. Then in the final one to two weeks,
the brain begins to increase in size again and
construct maternal circuits. It does not return to
its former size until about six months after giving
birth. "We don't know what it's doing but we think
it has something to do with redeveloping the mommy
brain's circuits, but also maybe even letting the
fetus 'snack' on the mommy's brain," Dr. Brizendine
"The mature female brain
- The "mommy brain" unplugs.
- Menopause means the end of the hormones that
have boosted communication circuits, emotion
circuits, the drive to tend and care, and the
urge to avoid conflict at all costs.
- More than 65 percent of divorces after the
age of 50 are initiated by women. Dr. Brizendine
attributes this to something called
"post-menopausal zest." "They want their turn,
they want to go and do stuff that they're
passionate about and step out in a more
independent waythey don't want to be
taking care of everybody else," she says.
"Sex and emotions
- Female sexual turn-on begins with a brain
turn-off: Orgasms can only be triggered when the
amygdala (the fear and anxiety center) is turned
off. "It requires turning off the worrywart
circuits in the female brain to have an orgasm,"
Dr. Brizendine explains.
- For women, foreplay is everything that
happens in the 24 hours before intercourse. "She
needs to feel comfortable and loving towards her
partner and everything in the relationship is
alright, so you're reducing that amygdala's
activation that something is dangerous or
fearful," Dr. Brizendine says.
- Women have evolved to cry four times more
easily than men. "The silent treatment is not a
way, women, to get his attention," Dr.
Brizendine says. "Crying is a way to get his
attention that something is wrong and upsetting
For guys that wonder why women arent more
interested sexually, he has to learn some things
about how her brain works. Remember, for millions
of years any time a woman engaged in sex, she was
putting her life at risk. Pregnancy was dangerous
and she could die, and often did die, in child
Despite modern birth-control methods, a
womans brain is still telling her to be
careful. Be sure you are safe and
secure. Women also have a tendency to
ruminate more than men. They have a difficult time
turning off the fear centers in the brain.
So, if you want a woman to be more playful and
sexually provocative, give her the cuddling, care,
and emotional connection she needs to feel
For more information on sexuality and intimacy,
come visit me at www.MenAlive.com
* * *
Wealth can't buy health, but health can buy
wealth. - Henry David Thoreau
is the internationally best-selling author of eight
books including Male
translated into 17 foreign languages. Other books
for Love in All the Wrong
Irritable Male Syndrome: Managing. The 4 Key Causes
of Depression and
Aggression and his
latest book Mr.
Mean: Saving Your Relationship from the Irritable
Male Syndrome. For over
45 years he has been a leader in the field of men's
health. He is a member of the International
Scientific Board of the World Congress on
Mens Health and has been on the Board of
Advisors of the Mens Health Network since its
founding in 1992. His work has been featured in
major newspapers throughout the United States
including the New York Times, Boston Globe, Wall
Street Journal, The Los Angeles Times, and USA
Today. He has been featured on more than 1,000
radio and T.V. programs including The View with
Barbara Walters, Good Morning America, Inside
Edition, CBS, NBC, and Fox News, To Tell the Truth,
Extra, Leeza, Geraldo, and Joan Rivers. He also did
a nationally televised special on Male Menopause
for PBS. To receive a Free E-book on Mens
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