|
Japanese Boys “Act Out” Their Anger
and “Act In” Their Pain
He was known only as the boy in the kitchen. His
mother, Yoshiko, wouldn't say his name, fearful
that neighbors in the Tokyo suburb where they lived
might discover her secret. Her son is 17 years old.
Three years ago he was unhappy in school and began
to play truant. Then a classmate taunted him with
anonymous hate letters and scrawled abusive
graffiti about him in the schoolyard.
One day, he walked into the family's kitchen,
shut the door and refused to leave. Since then, he
hasn't left the room or allowed anyone in. The
phenomenon of social withdrawal, or hikikomori was
first drawn to the attention of the Japanese public
following a series of highly publicized crimes. In
2000, a 17 year old hikikomori sufferer left his
isolation and hijacked a bus, killing a passenger.
Another kidnapped a girl and held her captive in
his bedroom for nine years. A fear of hikikomori
dominated newspaper headlines. Though most of these
young men are not violent, the frustration that
many sufferers experience--the desire to live a
normal life but the inability to do so--often
expresses itself in anger and aggression towards
those around them. The trigger is usually an event
such as bullying, an exam failure or a broken
romance.
These seem to be the same kinds of issues that
young males face all over the world. When these
pressures become too much to handle, as
increasingly they are, some kind of breakdown
occurs. For some it is acted out violently. Others
withdraw and turn their aggression on themselves.
It’s interesting that the Japanese have become
aware of these kinds of social phenomena. In the
1970s they identified deaths that occurred as a
result of overwork. They called it karoshi.
With our networked society, what occurs in one
part of the world usually reflects issues that are
going on elsewhere. It’s important that we ask
ourselves about the hidden pain that so many young
males experience in our own society. Boys are
unlikely to talk directly about these issues. We
need to spend time with them, do things together,
look for clues in behavior. It’s important to
listen to the words that are not spoken.
There are no easy answers. One thing we do know
is that there is a strong relationship between the
“acting out” that males do as we express
our anger towards others and the “acting
in” that we do as we focus our unhappiness on
ourselves. As was true of the Japanese young males
who are suffering from hikikomori, we may alternate
between outward and inward focus. Outward focused
irritability and anger is often a sign of male type
depression.
©2010 Jed
Diamond
See Books,
Issues
+ Suicide
* * *
Wealth can't buy health, but health can buy
wealth. - Henry David Thoreau
Jed Diamond
is the internationally best-selling author of seven
books including Male
Menopause, now
translated into 17 foreign languages and his
latest book, The
Irritable Male Syndrome: Managing. The 4 Key Causes
of Depression and
Aggression. For over
38 years he has been a leader in the field of men's
health. He is a member of the International
Scientific Board of the World Congress on
Men’s Health and has been on the Board of
Advisors of the Men’s Health Network since its
founding in 1992. His work has been featured in
major newspapers throughout the United States
including the New York Times, Boston Globe, Wall
Street Journal, The Los Angeles Times, and USA
Today. He has been featured on more than 1,000
radio and T.V. programs including The View with
Barbara Walters, Good Morning America, Inside
Edition, CBS, NBC, and Fox News, To Tell the Truth,
Extra, Leeza, Geraldo, and Joan Rivers. He also did
a nationally televised special on Male Menopause
for PBS. He looks forward to your feedback.
E-Mail.
You can visit his website at www.menalive.com
Contact
Us |
Disclaimer
| Privacy
Statement
Menstuff®
Directory
Menstuff® is a registered trademark of Gordon
Clay
©1996-2023, Gordon Clay
|
