Middle-Age
Relationships

Does the color of his collar matter?


Can white-collar women have successful relationships with blue-collar men? In my book, "How 50 Couples Found Love After 50," Patricia shared her success story with her blue-collar man she calls Cowboy.

Patricia said, "I've dated executives, professors, charter airline pilots, psychologists and men more my 'type' but it was a hard working, single father, biker/heavy equipment operator that treated me the way I love to be treated and appreciates and loves me for who I am."

Patricia and Cowboy married two years after they met.

Fifteen other women shared their white-collar - blue-collar opinions and experiences. Some said yes those relationships can work, others said no. Most agreed that it depends on the individuals involved.

Candace: "I'm a psychologist. When the man is comfortable and secure with himself, he can be in a relationship with me. He must be educated, but education comes from many sources."

Jenny: "As a white-collar worker with a postgraduate education, I'm not comfortable dating blue-collar men. A relationship requires intellectual compatibility."

Dede: "Typically, white-collar-women and blue-collar-men pairings don't work. Men's egos get in the way. The issue goes deeper than the job situation. Often, the woman will be more educated and her interests more diverse, resulting in a problem."

Flossie: "White-collar women marrying blue-collar men can work if a couple has a strong personal relationship and shares common interests/hobbies. I'm assuming the man has some level of social skills and can communicate with others. The color of the collar holds no importance for me."

Darlene: "I'm a technical writer who has enjoyed two fulfilling relationships with blue-collar men. They find and share the simple things in life more than their white-collar counterparts. I'd rather ride in a pickup truck to a picnic than in a Beemer to lunch at the Ritz."

Stacie: "I date a wonderful man. He works in a field that requires him to work almost all of the time. He doesn't have two full days off. His blue-collar job is frustrating to our personal life. Often, I view his job as the bad guy."

Jan: "After a few years or a few marriages, meeting a gentle, caring person no matter what line of work is what's important."

Patricia: "I was a white-collar woman married to a blue-collar guy. He was insecure, feeling I'd be constantly looking at more 'professional' men as if they were a better choice. The problem is more in the mind-set of the partners than with having different jobs."

Adrian: "A similar background of education and experience is necessary for a relationship to be successful at this stage of life."

Judy: "I head off to work in a business suit and my partner in work boots, shorts and a T-shirt. I work in computers; he builds custom homes. We share friends and experiences; our careers haven't created a conflict."

Shelia: "I married a blue-collar worker. I don't think it matters what a man does or how much he makes; it's what inside that counts. I look for trust, dedication and honesty as well as love of God and family."

Jenn: "I dated a nice guy, but our educational and occupational backgrounds became a problem. He was an electrician and uncomfortable that I worked in an office, drove a nicer car and owned my place. I constantly had to fight the urge to correct his grammar. Conversations were limited to casual small talk."

Kat, "I prefer blue-collar guys. I've more respect for a guy who makes his own way and rules. There's less chance of jealousy, as he isn't in an enclosed area basically living with all of the women in the office. He's usually more rugged; that's even more of a turn-on."

Before dismissing a blue-collar guy who enters your life, or any person who you might think isn't right for you, give him a chance. The pluses may far outweigh the differences. You'll find out soon enough.

© 2010, Tom Blake

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Tom Blake is an expert on dating after 50. He has appeared twice on the "Today Show" and has written more than 500 columns on dating and relationships. His "Single Again" column appears in The Orange County Register in southern California, is read worldwide and is often featured on msn.com. He is a professional speaker. He spoke at the national AARP convention in San Diego in 2002, and in Chicago. His book, Middle Aged and Dating Again, is a humorous account of his first year of dating after his third divorce. His second book is Finding Love After 50: How to begin, where to go, what to do. His latest book is titled How 50 Couples Found Love after 50. To ask a question or receive Tom's free weekly column on middle-age dating and relationships by e-mail, click on www.findingloveafter50.com or E-Mail.



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