Middle-Age
Relationships

Singles living in populated areas are fortunate


Older singles in Orange County, California, where I live, often complain about the lack of potential partners here, They don't realize how fortunate they are to live in the fifth largest county in the USA (3,000,000), where there are plenty of potential mates.

When compared to older singles living in small towns and remote areas across America, singles here are sitting on a gold mine of dating opportunity.

Take Gail, for example, who resides in a small city on the eastern slope of the Sierras. She's 57, and has been widowed for four years, after a 30-year marriage. She's fortunate to have met a man--her choices are limited there--but he's not filet mignon.

Gail emailed, "I need help with a man I've been seeing. He is very well off, a marvelous dancer, and we have a good time together. He is 62 and has no children. He has a couple of houses where I live and numerous homes in Southern California, where he lives."

"After sometime in our relationship, I felt the need to tell him I loved him. He told me, by e-mail, that he will never fall in love with a woman, a house, or a car, because each will take your money."

After that, they didn't see each other for a month. "But now we have started getting together again when he's in town," Gail added.

She said, "I want to be married again. I hate being alone. I am so confused!"

Orange County singles and singles living in populated areas, have an advantage over Gail. Each time they get out of the house and involved in activities they enjoy, they have a chance to meet a potential mate. But Gail has probably met one of the only available men on the entire eastern slope. She's stuck in the wilderness so to speak.

As long as she lives in the mountains, her loneliness likely won't go away and her wish to remarry won't be fulfilled.

I said to Gail, "This guy isn't your answer. When he tells you he will never fall in love, he means it. He is using you. When he's in town, you're a nice companion."

Should Gail dump him? Probably not, there just aren't available guys around. I suggested, "Since you have fun together, continue seeing him, but with no expectations of a commitment."

I also mentioned she use the Internet to try to meet someone, that she should check out www.MeetUp.com, a site that lists activities all over the USA. There could be a nice gentleman who would enjoy meeting her, or a fly fisherman from who would like a cold trout stream and a warm body as a reason to re-locate.

I added, "If your loneliness overwhelms you, consider moving to an area with a larger population, where there are more single men."

Of course, that's easier said than done. But for people living in remote areas, meeting someone via the Internet or moving may be their only cure for loneliness.

When it comes to meeting potential partners, singles in populated areas have it made--well, at least--when compared to Gail.

© 2010, Tom Blake

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Tom Blake is an expert on dating after 50. He has appeared twice on the "Today Show" and has written more than 500 columns on dating and relationships. His "Single Again" column appears in The Orange County Register in southern California, is read worldwide and is often featured on msn.com. He is a professional speaker. He spoke at the national AARP convention in San Diego in 2002, and in Chicago. His book, Middle Aged and Dating Again, is a humorous account of his first year of dating after his third divorce. His second book is Finding Love After 50: How to begin, where to go, what to do. His latest book is titled How 50 Couples Found Love after 50. To ask a question or receive Tom's free weekly column on middle-age dating and relationships by e-mail, click on www.findingloveafter50.com or E-Mail.



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