Middle-Age
Relationships

Single man says women need universal awakening


Women complain that I don't include enough articles from the male point-of-view in this newsletter. I thought long and hard about sharing today's male point-of-view with you. It's not my point-of-view-far from it in fact.

Last week, we wrote about Gail who lives in the Eastern Sierra Mountains of California and the man she's dating who sees her when he's in town but wants no commitment or marriage. Many of you responded, particularly those living in remote areas or small towns, but none as vehemently as Don, who lives in the mountains of Eastern Washington. Today, we hear his point of view.

Don said, "I think Gail's situation sounds like a relationship of convenience. And hey - the guy is being completely honest!"

He continued, "Most women these days are so full of rage, manipulation, and control issues that men are becoming less willing to put up with a bunch of hormonal crap from a partner, just to have someone to share experiences or a bed or a 'partnership' with.

"I have experienced about all I want of it in three or so years of meeting and dating. Times have changed. I don't know WHY, but they have.

"I spent 22 years in a marriage and never had to deal with any of the issues that have elevated my blood pressure into the danger zones like I have with the past dozen women I've 'dated.' Recently, I'm meeting other men that are telling me their experiences are EXACTLY the same!

"These are guys I don't consider to be rage-aholics or anything like it. Pretty laid back, accomplished, together guys, just looking for a partner to enjoy life with, but the women they are meeting all seem to eventually be the same.

"They act so normal for a few months (at best) then explode with some imaginary issue, or control trip, or anger non-management, and the 'relationship' falls apart quickly after that. Maybe they think we're going to just 'take it' because we 'need' them. New day, my dear.

"You may think I'm being a bit rabid and over the edge on this. I could go into much 'gorier' details, but since it seems you're with a completely different kind of partner, I'll spare that, as your outlook is not the same because of who you are with. I honor that, and still am optimistic that I and other guys will find such compatibility, or that women in general will have a universal 'awakening' that will allow more of us to begin sharing life together and in harmony."

Don signed his email: "In the remote mountains of Eastern Washington. Where there are more or just as many 'shortages' than anywhere else.

Tom's comment: Don said my outlook is not the same because of the partner I'm with. Not true. I would never place all women in any category. If I dated twelve women who acted as he described and I was so angry, I'd either change the place I was meeting them, or I'd look in the mirror and ask what it is about me that needs fixing. Now that I think about it, I'd do both.

© 2010, Tom Blake

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Tom Blake is an expert on dating after 50. He has appeared twice on the "Today Show" and has written more than 500 columns on dating and relationships. His "Single Again" column appears in The Orange County Register in southern California, is read worldwide and is often featured on msn.com. He is a professional speaker. He spoke at the national AARP convention in San Diego in 2002, and in Chicago. His book, Middle Aged and Dating Again, is a humorous account of his first year of dating after his third divorce. His second book is Finding Love After 50: How to begin, where to go, what to do. His latest book is titled How 50 Couples Found Love after 50. To ask a question or receive Tom's free weekly column on middle-age dating and relationships by e-mail, click on www.findingloveafter50.com or E-Mail.



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