There are always excuses It seems that whenever I plan an extended trip, there are excuses that arise that make me question whether I should go or cancel. This year was no exception. My partner Greta and I have been a couple for ten years. We feel blessed for those glorious years together and are celebrating our commitment to each other with a 23-day trip to Italy in May. As many couples do when they first meet, we talked about countries we'd love to see and compiled a list of hoped-for future destinations. Italy ranked near the top. Planning to go there began over a year ago. Then the excuses started to surface. Twenty-three days is a long time to be away. I think, how in the world will my deli survive without me for that long. And then I think, what if something happens to someone dear to me while I'm so far away. But that length of time was a choice we had to make. Virtually on the same day, a timeshare we had requested was confirmed for one week and friends who are renting a villa in Tuscany with eight other couples invited us to be couple number 10, starting a week after our timeshare week was up. That left a week in between. Greta said, "No problem. We'll stay in Italy for three weeks." And then she added, "The deli has done just fine without you during our previous trips. Stop worrying." Another excuse arose. Friends said, "You're going to get butchered by the cost of the euro." Five years ago, when we were in London and Paris, the cost of a euro was 93 cents. Last year, while we were in southern Europe, the cost was $1.23. We just purchased euros for more than $1.70, making the cost of going to Europe nearly double what it was five years ago. But our feeling is we should go even though it will be expensive. By next year, who knows what a euro may cost? And then there is the international-unrest excuse. I think about a trip four years ago that we nearly cancelled. Greta and I had planned a trip to Spain traveling by train throughout the country. Three weeks before we left, a terrorist group bombed Madrid's Atocha Train station, the very station from which we were scheduled to depart. The news shook us up, 191 people died and 1,755 were injured. I wrote a column titled, "Should we go or should we stay home?" and put the question to newspaper readers. Overwhelmingly, they responded with "go," saying that if we didn't, we were letting the terrorists win. We went but rented a car instead. Our main reason for taking this trip trumps all of the excuses: do so while we're healthy enough to travel. Last Thursday, John and Cory, friends of mine, had lunch in my Dana Point deli. John, 54, has been battling prostate cancer for a year. Fortunately he's on the mend. John looked me straight in the eye and said, "You take that trip. Let me tell you, life can change in an instant-go while you can." And then he winked and added, "Besides, Cory and I love reading about your travels and I know you'll write about it." And there are other friends we know and love who have serious health issues-five I can name right off the top-who insist that we go while we can. Even my mom, at 97, encouraged us, although I know she'll worry the whole time we're gone. Our dream to explore a country by train will finally be realized. We purchased Eurail passes and will travel between Italian cities riding the rails. Whether single or as a couple, travel broadens one's horizons in so many ways and making new friends is a big part of that. As we adults move into our 60s, 70s and 80s, we need to appreciate what we have, stop making excuses, and live life to the fullest, taking advantage of opportunities that are available now. I'll keep you posted. More on romance scams Last week, we mentioned romance scams in the comments section. Today, we add a bit more on this ever-growing problem among seniors who use the Internet to meet potential mates. Three years ago, a website was founded called Romance Scams Its purpose was to provide a place where people who have been scammed could share their experiences and ideas. Since then, the site has had more than 30,000 members. Barbara Sluppick, who is one of the key site operators, said that among more than 800 members who have reported their losses, those losses total more than $8 million. I recommend people involved in online dating check out the site. They have photos posted of suspected scammers. Many scammers have ties to Africa and always seem to ask for money in one way or another, or they may ask a favor, such as forwarding or shipping a package. The site is filled with tips and red flags. Don't be gullible or the victim of a scammer. New Stats The Census Bureau released stats in March that affect us. There were 37.3 million people in the USA age 65 and older in July, 2006, 53% of them married, 32 % widowed. (Editor: That would leave 15% never married or divorced.) The number of men 65 and older for every 100 women is 72. For those 85 and older, the number of men drop to 47 men per 100 women. © 2008, Tom Blake
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