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Finding Her Faults Before It's Too Late
Many men find themselves falling into patterns of
getting involved with the "wrong" kind of partner.
This may prove to be frustrating, resulting in a
helpless feeling. The question "Why?" is often
asked. "Why do I keep getting involved with the
same kind of women?" Well, let me tell you. It is
because you aren't looking for early warning signs
that signal you to get away. It might also mean
that you are unaware of the warning signs but
rationalize their potential ramifications. Be that
as it may, you are attracted to that "bad" trait or
traits in women. Consequently, those
characteristics lead to unhealthy
relationships.
The only way to avoid repeating harmful patterns
is to be able to recognize the adverse signs early
on. The earlier you see the signs, the easier it is
to avoid getting hurt emotionally. Change is not
comfortable. If you want to have a healthy
relationship, you will have to learn to be
attracted to a different type of person. To do
this, you need to make slight changes. The easiest
is to redirect your first conversations with people
you find attractive. These conversations should
take on a purpose of screening for unwanted
traits.
When a man, for instance, gets caught up in
conversation with an attractive woman, it's easy to
get lost in her voice, eyes, touch, and so on.
Before you know it, the conversation meanders
without a focus and you have no idea if he shares
similar bad traits as your ex. But, you don't have
to let this happen.
You can set your goal to unveil the woman's
"crucial topics" (issues that YOUR previous
relationship(s)). For instance, if your ex was an
alcoholic, keep an eye out for how much she drinks
and how important alcohol is in her life. The key
is to be casual and not make it sound like you're
interrogating her. Keep in mind that she will have
no idea what you are thinking, only that you are
having light conversation.
I'm sure you have the idea: make a point of
finding the signs of the relationships that have
impacted your past relationships negatively.
Regardless of how attracted you are to a woman,
don't rationalize the red flags waving in front of
your eyes. Making excuses for these will lend
itself to the same results you had with the last
woman-a bad relationship.
© 2007 ExpertDatingAdvice.com
Other Relationship Issues,
Books
Nancy Fagan is
the best-selling author of 'The Complete Idiot's
Guide to Romance' and 'Desirable Men: How to Find
Them' has appeared on several hundred radio and
television shows including Ricki Lake, Men are from
Mars/Women are from Venus, ABC News, NBC News, CBS
News, The Berman & Berman Show, FOX News. She
has been featured in most major newspaper in the
United States and worldwide as well as regularly
mentioned in the nation's top magazines such as
Ladies' Home Journal ('Can this Marriage be
Saved?'), Cosmopolitan, Glamour, Men's Health,
Bride's, Seventeen, Women's Day, Family Circle,
Women's Own, BBW, Complete Women and dozens of
others. To read more, visit www.ExpertDatingAdvice.com
This column is reprinted with permission from
NancyFagan@ExpertDatingAdvice.com
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