He Got Her Pregnant

Q: My boyfriend and I have been together for five years and like most relationships, we've had our ups and downs. However, recently I found out that he had an affair and the woman got pregnant—the baby was born two weeks ago. I talk to both of them and they apologized. I love him, we share a child together, and I’m confused. Please help me.

A. You are in a complicated situation. It's common for women in your set of circumstances to act out of anger and make decisions they regret later on. Because you share a child together, you need to think about what is best for yourself as well as for your child.

If you decide to forgive your husband’s transgressions in order to keep your family together, the two of you need to get into counseling immediately. This will help uncover the reason that prompted the affair in the first place. Affairs are always a symptom of something bigger. If you choose this journey, prepare yourself for a bumpy, emotional ride, which, by the way, is the only way to get the relationship on strong footing again.

Affairs don't have to be the end of a relationship. Instead, they can be an opportunity to grow stronger and closer. The choice is up to you, but it sounds like you are on the right track.

© 2007

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Nancy Fagan is the best-selling author of 'The Complete Idiot's Guide to Romance' and 'Desirable Men: How to Find Them' has appeared on several hundred radio and television shows including Ricki Lake, Men are from Mars/Women are from Venus, ABC News, NBC News, CBS News, The Berman & Berman Show, FOX News. She has been featured in most major newspaper in the United States and worldwide as well as regularly mentioned in the nation's top magazines such as Ladies' Home Journal ('Can this Marriage be Saved?'), Cosmopolitan, Glamour, Men's Health, Bride's, Seventeen, Women's Day, Family Circle, Women's Own, BBW, Complete Women and dozens of others. To read more, visit This column is reprinted with permission from Send questions to E-Mail

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