Am I Being Used?

Q: I’ve been involved with a man for a few months and I recently noticed that he’s pulling away from me. One night he called me and acted strangely so I asked why he was calling. He said it was just a “booty call.” I’m not sure what he meant by this, but by his tone, I knew I’d been demoted from. What did he mean by this?

A: You’re right, a “booty call” is not a good thing. This derogatory term refers to the act of calling someone solely fro soliciting sex. That’s it. It’s a call that usually comes in late at night, as an after thought. Basically your role in that kind of “relationship” is to be their sexual outlet.

It sounds like it’s time to move on. Once someone becomes nothing more in their partner’s life than a means for sexual release, all hope of resurrecting the relationship is over. As you well know, that is an insulting place to be.

Your partner has put you in a temporary holding place until he finds a replacement for you. Once he does, he’ll stop calling altogether. Save yourself the unnecessary anguish and end it before you get hurt any more. The next time he calls asking for a “bootie call, “ tell him your booty is looking for someone new and no longer available to him.

© 2007

Other Relationship Issues, Books

Nancy Fagan is the best-selling author of 'The Complete Idiot's Guide to Romance' and 'Desirable Men: How to Find Them' has appeared on several hundred radio and television shows including Ricki Lake, Men are from Mars/Women are from Venus, ABC News, NBC News, CBS News, The Berman & Berman Show, FOX News. She has been featured in most major newspaper in the United States and worldwide as well as regularly mentioned in the nation's top magazines such as Ladies' Home Journal ('Can this Marriage be Saved?'), Cosmopolitan, Glamour, Men's Health, Bride's, Seventeen, Women's Day, Family Circle, Women's Own, BBW, Complete Women and dozens of others. To read more, visit This column is reprinted with permission from Send questions to E-Mail

Contact Us | Disclaimer | Privacy Statement
Menstuff® Directory
Menstuff® is a registered trademark of Gordon Clay
©1996-2019, Gordon Clay