My First and Last One Night Stand

Q. I took off a full year from the single’s scene to get myself together after a break up with a man I was deeply in love with. To jumpstart the process, I went to a club last week and met a wonderful man. We really connected and I ended up going home with him that night. Now I regret that decision because he hasn't called me.

A. Regardless of how strong of a 'connection' you have with someone new, it's ALWAYS a mistake to sleep together the first night you meet. Surveys have shown that men who believe there is potential for a long-term relationship with a woman will avoid having sex with her too soon. On the other hand, men who push for sex up front, don’t usually value the woman for more than what she offers sexually. Unfortunately, you've learned a painful lesson. In this case, regardless of how genuine his interest may have seemed, his real intentions weren't!

Weeding out the 'relationship-potential” men from those who aren't is a difficult part of dating. For this very reason, it’s best to delay sexual intimacy until a relationship develops, despite the level of sexual chemistry two people feel for each other. Playing it safe may be a conservative approach, but the best one for your heart and

© 2009

Other Relationship Issues, Books

Nancy Fagan is the best-selling author of 'The Complete Idiot's Guide to Romance' and 'Desirable Men: How to Find Them' has appeared on several hundred radio and television shows including Ricki Lake, Men are from Mars/Women are from Venus, ABC News, NBC News, CBS News, The Berman & Berman Show, FOX News. She has been featured in most major newspaper in the United States and worldwide as well as regularly mentioned in the nation's top magazines such as Ladies' Home Journal ('Can this Marriage be Saved?'), Cosmopolitan, Glamour, Men's Health, Bride's, Seventeen, Women's Day, Family Circle, Women's Own, BBW, Complete Women and dozens of others. To read more, visit This column is reprinted with permission from Send questions to E-Mail

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