The New Intimacy


The Gift of the Future

Many of us believe the most sought after experience in life is to be recognized for who we know ourselves to be. And it's certainly exhilarating when someone sees us and knows us and says "Yes!"

But what about who we want to become -- our dreams and aspirations, our ambitions and the images we hold of what we know is possible. After all, who we are is mostly composed of who we've been. But who we will be, that's a matter of imagination and commitment.

Parents can offer no deeper promise to their children than sincerely wanting to know what passions churn inside them, what gifts they've brought to share with the world.

When lovers cherish one another's hopes and desires they open the future as a psychic space into which they can grow their love

When you respectfully ask yourself, "Where am I going?" and listen humbly for an answer, you are calling on your soul to speak, to show you more of what is possible.

Philosophers refer to it as the distinction between being (what already is) and becoming (what yearns to be born).

Sure, it's true that sometimes we don't know what we want and sometimes our dreams do not become real. That's not the point. To allow for a vision of what we believe is possible opens hope and energizes our efforts.

This New Year's Eve or perhaps New Year's Day take the time to begin a new ritual. Open an ongoing discussion with your beloved about the future. Hopes. Fears. Dreams. Goals. Whatever feels right to keep the topic flowing and making way for new awareness about yourselves and about each other.

Then throughout the year make the conscious and loving choice to recognize what is yet to be in those near you. Acknowledge what they want to become. Affirm their dreams.You will be fostering a future that will make the world a better place to live.

© 2006, The New Intimacy.

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Intimacy is spelled "in to me you see". - Stan Dale

I have always made a distinction between my friends and my confidants. I enjoy the conversation of the former; from the latter I hide nothing. - Edith Piaf


Husband and wife psychology team, Judith Sherven and Jim Sniechowski, are the bestselling authors of "The New Intimacy" and "Opening to Love 365 Days a Year." Their latest book is Be Loved for Who You Really Are: How the differences between men and women can be turned into the source of the very best romance you'll ever know. They provide corporate trainings on breaking through resistance to success and relationship workshops about The Magic of Differences--romance based on respect and value for each other's unique ways. As guest experts they've been on over 600 television and radio shows including Oprah, The O'Reilly Factor, 48 Hours, Canada AM, and The View. Visit their website at

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