The New Intimacy


Be Sure to Laugh & Play

Perhaps you're in a long-term relationship and the joy is gone. You don't want to be with anyone else but you wish it could be more fun, more exciting.

Do you miss when you were younger and felt more comfortable being silly and playful as a form of real romance? Did you get married and decide you had to act like "grown-ups" and a lot of the fun went with it? Or have you always thought you needed to be serious in matters of love?

Well, open your imagination, dust off your sense of humor! It's time to create more romance as you play together more and more and more!

Now, we don't mean you have to blow bubbles, play hide and seek or skip hop-scotch. We're talking about making more fun out of your ordinary, everyday life together.

You may be saying, "No way, it's kids to feed, bills to pay, laundry to do -- there's no time to play around." Or maybe it's, "Look, my life is dedicated to providing for my family, when I get home I'm too tired to try to be funny and act silly."

But you don't have to go out of your way to have a good time.

For instance, just yesterday we got into a lengthy disagreement about a grammar "problem" in writing our next book. We even made a $5 bet. Then we spoke with our editor today and he sided with the position that Judith had taken.

Judith: After the call I left my office to go speak with Jim about what had happened. But as I rounded the corner into the hall there was Jim in mock groveling prostrative mea culpa.

Jim: We both laughed and laughed at how wonderfully playful and silly I was! And Judith will get $5 worth of ice cream!

Bringing more humor into your relationsbip may take new awareness and practice for awhile if you're not in the habit of playing with one another.

Jim: That was the case for Judith in the beginning of our marriage. She was inclined to take everything seriously and hated being teased.

Judith: But with Jim's encouragement, I realized it was often easier and more fun to deal with stuff, even some of our conflicts, through humor.

So, remember, if it isn't life threatening -- a health or safety hazard -- or dangerous to the well-being of your relationship, it's not thaaaaaat serious. So, play around more, tease one another with love and affection, and enjoy, enjoy, enjoy!

© 2006, The New Intimacy

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Intimacy is spelled "in to me you see". - Stan Dale

I have always made a distinction between my friends and my confidants. I enjoy the conversation of the former; from the latter I hide nothing. - Edith Piaf


Husband and wife psychology team, Judith Sherven and Jim Sniechowski, are the bestselling authors of "The New Intimacy" and "Opening to Love 365 Days a Year." Their latest book is Be Loved for Who You Really Are: How the differences between men and women can be turned into the source of the very best romance you'll ever know. They provide corporate trainings on breaking through resistance to success and relationship workshops about The Magic of Differences--romance based on respect and value for each other's unique ways. As guest experts they've been on over 600 television and radio shows including Oprah, The O'Reilly Factor, 48 Hours, Canada AM, and The View. Visit their website at

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