Talking About Her Boyfriend
Q: What do you do when she talks about her
boyfriend? It pisses me off.
A: Let's start with a refresher from How
To Date Young Women and the chapter Boyfriends.
When she mentions him early on it means: (1)
She's not interested. (2) She's interested, wants
you to know the score. (3) She wants to flirt with
you and feel serenely indignant when she wins the
Rapo game. (Rapo, as in Rape-o is described fully
in Court Her.)
If she doesn't say anything about him right away
but does later it means: (1) She was kinda
interested and didn't want you to fade away. After
getting to know you she wants to have an affair if
she can keep her boyfriend. (2) She was interested
but after getting to know you this is how she says
no. (3) She was playing Rapo with you all along,
you've made your move, this is how she says, "What
kind of girl do you think I am?" (4) She likes you,
doesn't want to date you but didn't feel any of her
personal life was appropriate until now. It's
usually (1) (2) or (3). The first two account for
With that said, use anything she reveals as
information to make yourself more appealing. Listen
as if she is your friend, because she is. She might
be complaining, bragging, or just passing time. It
makes no difference. Listen to the words but really
hear what she's saying without words. Focus on her
arms and hands.
Notice where they are and what she's doing with
them. Pay attention to the emotions you're feeling
when just watching what she's saying without
Remember, courtship is conducted mostly on a
nonverbal level. If you do not yet have Body
Language Secrets: A Guide During Courtship and
Dating get it today!
If she's complaining, use what you're learning
to show her how much better off she'd be by having
a torrid affair with you in addition to keeping
Jimmy. You must be diplomatic and tactful as
explained in Planting Seeds.
If she's bragging, be appropriately impressed.
You are a gentleman. If she's just passing the
time, listen just like she was complaining and use
what you learn to make yourself more
If you're pissed off there are two
possibilities. First, she's trying to piss you off.
Second, you're jealous and want her to be your
girlfriend, not Jimmy's.
Let's say she's trying to piss you off. That
means she's strongly interested in you OR IT MEANS
she wants you to get away from her. Her body
language tells the truth.
If you're jealous and want her to be your
girlfriend, there's nothing I can tell you other
than to ask you to realize, and then accept, the
impossibilities of such a thing UNLESS you are way
better than her boyfriend and it is obvious to her
That is why the you must understand a
fundamental of mammalian courtship: Beauty chooses!
Translation: The more desirable the female, the
more Alpha Male you must be.
When you are not what she wants THE END. See How
to Date Young Women Volume 2 for an explanation of
this FUNDAMENTAL principle of courtship as
practiced by mammals. It is also carefully laid out
in Body Language Secrets.
Evolution insists that the male be the best from
among all the males courting her. Why? It
Women do the choosing! This is concept is
impossible for "dating experts" on the www to grasp
because they cannot get a date! Systems,
dictionaries, hypnotism, phone counseling, language
patterns, clever opening lines are IMPOTENT. That
is not what women want! They want a confident,
relaxed Man with The Right Attitude. When he is
dressed for success - he is in the potential MR.
STEEL BALLS PRINCIPLE: To win the heart of Miss
Right, first you must be Mr. Right.
©2008 R. Don
Other Relationship Issues,
has worked for more than 20 aerospace, defense and
engineering companies as well as many political
campaigns both in LA and in Hawaii. He became a
Marriage, Family and Child Counselor in 1976.
Beyond writing, other passions include a deep,
abiding hatred for hypocrites, bureaucrats, poverty
pimps and nearly all politicians; a lifelong
devotion to anthropology, philosophy; astronomy and
cosmology plus a long-term love affair with Hawaii,
consummated in 1996. He and Joanna Bardot Lopez
live in Whittier CA, with their number one dog
Wolfie, number two dog, Tootsie, Peaches The
Rabbit, Puppy Cat, Princess Cat, Snookums Cat and
Bebe Cat. Don is the author of Date
Young Women: For men over 35 -
to Date Young Women: For men over 35,
Volume II, and most
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