Dealing with the End of Love - Part II

Repeated from last week: Your advice was good regarding my failing situation with my young woman. But the other women I see do little to interest me. I’ve been suffering from the usual physical problems when this happens, like sleep irregularities, night sweats, loss of weight, feelings of hopelessness. I know these are symptoms of depression but I’ve managed to keep functioning OK without medication. Is this normal or do other people not feel it as much when their relationships fail? How do I prevent this next time? Do any of your contacts have an outstanding shrink you can recommend in my area? Rich Bell, Santa Barbara.

Question 2: How do I prevent this next time?

STEELE SEZ: Go to prison and stay there. Or, become a hermit and you will never be hurt again. In other words, there is no way to prevent this from happening again.

This is what happens to a living, breathing, joyous, loving, caring, happy human beings. We all get hurt now and then. It hurts so bad because it felt so good. The higher the up, the lower the down. The choice is yours. Stay close to the ground and have empty affairs or soar to the heights of ecstasy and joy. As stated elsewhere in this newsletter, everything has its disadvantages. Take what you want, and pay for it, sayeth God, Spanish Proverb.

So you got hurt! It will not kill you. I am living proof! Re-read about my pain and sorrow. I’m still here. I’m living and loving. Further, That which does not kill me makes me stronger, Nietzsche, is the view we all must have. As I preach in How to Date Young Women, you must make mistakes to learn. So, Rich, learn from your mistakes.

However, you must learn the CORRECT lesson from this one. That is, don’t learn, This woman hurt me, therefore, I will never again open up my heart to a woman again. Most men learn that lesson and then wonder years later why they have such empty, lonely, angry, bitter lives. As always, the choice is yours. We are the choices we make.

Question 3: Do you or any of your contacts have an outstanding shrink you can recommend in my area?

STEELE SEZ: Sorry, I don’t know anyone there. Just like with an MD, start asking around among your friends and associates. I suggested before, and I say again, find the most expensive one and you’ll have found one of the best, probably.

However, shrinks are infamous for being crazy, even when they charge a ton of money. Trust your feelings when interacting with him. Have the courage to go to another if you don’t LIKE the one you hire. Remember, you are hiring the shrink to help you with a problem, just like you are hiring a lawyer to help you with a problem. You are in charge. If you don’t like what he’s doing, fire him and hire another.

©2007 R. Don Steele

Other Relationship Issues, Books


Don Steele has worked for more than 20 aerospace, defense and engineering companies as well as many political campaigns both in LA and in Hawaii. He became a Marriage, Family and Child Counselor in 1976. Beyond writing, other passions include a deep, abiding hatred for hypocrites, bureaucrats, poverty pimps and nearly all politicians; a lifelong devotion to anthropology, philosophy; astronomy and cosmology plus a long-term love affair with Hawaii, consummated in 1996. He and Joanna Bardot Lopez live in Whittier CA, with their number one dog Wolfie, number two dog, Tootsie, Peaches The Rabbit, Puppy Cat, Princess Cat, Snookums Cat and Bebe Cat. Don is the author of Date Young Women:  For men over 35 - Revised, How to Date Young Women:  For men over 35, Volume II, and most recently, Body Language Secrets. Check out steelballsAUDIO.COM and or E-Mail.

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