Introduce Yourself Part I

This is from a 48 year old who is becoming successful with young women.

Question 1: Counter Clerk at Starbucks very friendly. Is it better to introduce yourself right off the bat, no matter what?

Answer 1: No! Never immediately! Wait until you have chatted for at least a few minutes. It is not necessary to wait until you two are conversing like old friends. Simply extend your hand and say, "By the way, I'm Fred Gallaway, I work at Astronatics across the street in the Kaufman building." Look into her eyes and do everything explained in On Shaking Hands in How to Date Young Women

Question 2: Will she say or do some thing that tells me when the time is right?

Answer 2: Ordinarily she unintentionally leaves longer than normal pauses. Those moments are your openings. But when you are 30 to 50 and she's 20-22 her focus is not on the transaction. She's very excited and aroused to be talking with a Man, a real Man, not another boy. Thus, she doesn't realize that Men introduce themselves by shaking hands. This is one instance in which you must MAKE it happen, but make it as natural and normal as possible. In other words, be relaxed about it.

CAUTION: She may stumble a bit and feel awkward for a few seconds. However about 90 percent of them recover quickly and tell you their names. But with the other 10 percent, you have to be ready with another routine because she's so excited and at the same time so busy controlling herself that she doesn't remember to tell you her name.

After you release her hand, if she hasn't told you her name, shift your eyes away briefly, then back directly into her eyes with an expectant look on your face that says, “And you are?” If that doesn't prompt her, you can say gently, "And you are?" Be gentle and polite. Do not embarrass her more than necessary because this awkward lapse on her part does make her feel foolish.

See the chapter Talk With Her for a refresher on how crucial it is to keep that fact in mind during early conversations.


So this Introductions topic is continued next column.

©2007 R. Don Steele

Other Relationship Issues, Books


Don Steele has worked for more than 20 aerospace, defense and engineering companies as well as many political campaigns both in LA and in Hawaii. He became a Marriage, Family and Child Counselor in 1976. Beyond writing, other passions include a deep, abiding hatred for hypocrites, bureaucrats, poverty pimps and nearly all politicians; a lifelong devotion to anthropology, philosophy; astronomy and cosmology plus a long-term love affair with Hawaii, consummated in 1996. He and Joanna Bardot Lopez live in Whittier CA, with their number one dog Wolfie, number two dog, Tootsie, Peaches The Rabbit, Puppy Cat, Princess Cat, Snookums Cat and Bebe Cat. Don is the author of Date Young Women:  For men over 35 - Revised, How to Date Young Women:  For men over 35, Volume II, and most recently, Body Language Secrets. Check out steelballsAUDIO.COM and or E-Mail.

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