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The Motivation To Change or Improve Your
Relationships
How do you find the motivation to change?
What is the secret for making changes in our
relationships and lives?
Why does is usually take something "big" to
happen to us get us to shift from where we are to
something much better?
The answers to these questions may surprise you
because...
After learning to become active participants and
observers in both our own lives and in the lives of
our coaching clients and countless others...
What we've learned is that we and almost
everyone we've ever met are slow to change (if we
ever do) -- even when it's in our best interest to
do so.
Most of us wait until it's almost too late
before we make the changes we think or feel we
should have made all along.
What we've noticed is that at various times in
our lives, each of us is given an opportunity to
"wake up" to all the love and joy that is
possible--if we take advantage of it.
If you're like most people, that "opportunity"
usually comes in the guise of a catastrophe in our
lives like divorce, a car wreck, cancer (or any
other serious illness) or even the death of a loved
one.
Although we certainly don't consciously want
these things to happen or consciously create them,
most of us need something like that to jolt us out
of our patterns that keep us stuck in limiting and
self-defeating thoughts and actions.
Take the singer/ songwriter and performer
Melissa Etheridge...
We saw Melissa in concert the other evening and
she is a beautiful example of this idea.
Even if you have preconceived ideas about her
and what she's all about, there's no arguing the
fact that after her bout with cancer, she is a
changed woman and is now a radiant example of love
and connection who wants to do her part to make the
world a better place.
She chose to see her illness as an opportunity
to begin living her life as if every moment counts
and is precious. She chose to begin cherishing her
loved ones and connect more deeply with those
around her--including her audiences.
We came away from her concert deeply moved and
even more appreciative of the love we have in every
moment for each other, our family, friends and
everything we hold dear.
Cancer was what it took for Melissa Etheridge to
awaken to more love and joy in her life.
But here's what's true...
You don't have to go through cancer, any other
life-threatening illness or any other catastrophe
in your life to come into awareness of what's
possible and live it.
You can be your own catalyst and begin choosing
what's important to you and how you want to have
your relationships to be and what you want for your
life.
Here are some ways and new understandings we
think you'll find helpful to begin to awaken
without the trauma and drama of the catastrophes in
our lives...
1. Know that you are worth it. Know that you are
"enough" and that you are worth the love that you
want. Most of us have experienced and taken to
heart criticism that says we aren't good enough in
some way or another.
When self-defeating thoughts come into your
mind, simply tell yourself that you are good enough
to have love and you deserve to have it.
2. Live in the present moment. We probably say
this every week but it bears repeating--and
repeating--because most of us (including us) have a
hard time doing it!
When your body and mind are anchored in the
present and with the person in front of you, you
become aware of the joy, pleasure, excitement or
whatever in that moment.
If you are constantly in the past or future, you
can't possibly experience the happiness from what's
happening right now.
3. Be on the look out for small expressions of
love Start noticing expressions of love from others
in your life. So often we're so focused on what we
don't have, we miss small ways that we are loved
and cared for. Don't miss what's right in front of
your nose.
4. Learn to master the "twin forces of pain and
pleasure" in your life We recall from many years
ago that Tony Robbins said that the key to creating
or accomplishing anything in your life is being
able to master these two forces called pain and
pleasure in your life.
One thing is for sure... we all have had and
will continue to have both pain AND pleasure in our
lives. One trick to being happy, successful and
creating close connected relationships (or anything
else) is to learn to associate more pleasure to the
things that will take us toward what we really want
and to associate more pain to choices we could make
that will take us away from what we really want.
4. Be on the look out for ways to love yourself
and others
Ask yourself these questions--
"How can I love myself today?"
"How can I love others today?"
Take time today for one or more expressions of
love for yourself and for others.
If you do, the joy and love you receive will
begin to show in your very being.
You will awaken to who you were truly meant to
be.
©2008, Susie
& Otto Collins
Other Relationship Issues,
Books
Susie
and Otto Collins are spiritual and life partners
who are committed to helping others create
outstanding relationships of all kinds. They
regularly write, speak and conduct workshops and
seminars on love, relationships and personal and
spiritual growth to audiences all across the USA.
They are the creators of the "Relationship Toolkit"
which has helped people in over a dozen countries
improve their relationships. It includes a video
called Spiritual
Partnerships plus two
booklets Love
and Relationship Success
Secrets and
101
Relationship Quotes Worth a Million
Dollars! You can also
read more articles like these and subscribe to
their weekly newsletter on love and relationships
by visiting their web site at www.collinspartners.com
 Their
new E-book Should You Stay or Should You Go?
has just been released and is now available
www.stayorgo.com
See Archives 2007,
2006,
2005,
2004,
2003,
2002
and 2001.
Other Relationship Issues,
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