Bullying

Menstuff® has compiled the following information on the issue of Bullying. The only state that does not require schools to have an anti-bullying policy is Montana. Of the 49 states that have mandatory school anti-bullying policies, 14 states have mandatory off-campus anti-bullying policies as well. Oregon is not one of those.
Source:: cyberbullying.org/Bullying-and-Cyberbullying-Laws.pdf

 

Need help or someone to talk to?
In the U.S., call 1-800-273-8255 for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Even if you're not suicidal, it's great to have someone to talk to who cares.


Lady GaGa recalls painful bullying as teen.
Lady GaGa "Inside the Outside" Premieres May 26, 2011 at 9/8c on MTV
Lead by example. Children learn more from our actions than our words. (Don't Laugh at Me.)

Schoolyard bullying is far more serious than just name-calling and teasing. It's escalated to include harassment, beatings and even death threats. GLSEN released a study on harassment and bullying in 2005. In it, 65 percent of middle school and junior high students said they had been assaulted or harassed in the previous year. The study, “From Teasing to Torment: School Climate in America,” resulted from the survey of more than 3,400 teenagers and more than 1,000 teachers.

Does your school have a program to combat bullying? Ask them! If they don't, talk with them about setting one up. The No Name Calling Week (1/22-26/07) web site has a lot of information on how to do that. Also see the movie - Mean Girls and
YouTube - Girls Gone Wild

Kathy Noll, co-author of Taking the Bully by the Horns writes a monthly column for us called Bullies and Youth Violence.



3:00

Bully Solutions

YouTube star Andie Case talks empowering music, 'Girls Night In' tour and amazing fans
Are mean girls getting meaner? Teens open up about bullying
Boyfriend of Suicide Suspect Regrets Not Stopping Alleged Bullying
'She should be here!'
Nine year-old Bodi Irvine
Five Myths about Bullying
Busting parents won't stop cyberbullies, experts say
This kid's dad is just as bad as the bullies at school, until he makes me smile at the end
A relative of Adam Lanza said the Newtown killer was abused while he attended Sandy Hook Elementary.
Rachel Ehmke, 13-Year-Old Minnesota Student, Commits Suicide After Months Of Bullying
"No Bully" Anthems: 5 Empowering Music Videos Created By Teens
Dealing With Bullies
Upstanders not Bystanders
What happens when teens don't get help?
A Bully: Not just guys
Bullying for Girls
Why do Young Women Bully?
No Bully Pledge - Students
Bullies and Popular Kids
Sibling Bullying As Detrimental As Peer Bullying, Study Claims
Transforming School Culture for A Bully Free School
Crossing the Line 62 page pdf file on Sexual Harassment at School
Bully Prevention
Stop Being Your Own Bully
How can a School Culture that ends Bullying be Created?
No Name Calling Week - January 19-23, 2015
Report Cites Harm To Bullies And Victims
Character lessons at Northgate awarded
Little Baby Face Foundation - Free Plastic Surgery
High School Football Team Helps Victim of Bullying
Survivors of Teen Suicide Attempts on Prevention: It's Not Always About Bullying
These Are The States Where Students Get Harassed The Most For Their Sexual Orientation
Teen Labeled 'Freak' in Yearbook Amounts to Bullying, Says Mom
Don’t believe women are endlessly harassed?
Gay Teens Get Bullied Less Over Time, New Study Finds
Bully Punished With Bad Clothing. Unusual Yes, But Cruel? (Editor: Shame doesn't work. That's called "retribution.")
Public Shaming is the New Spanking and It's Not OK
Oklahoma teens walk out of school to protest bullying
From Teasing to Torment: School Climate Revisited, A Survey of U.S. Secondary School Students and Teachers
Cyberbullying

Books
Resources
Talk to your kids about tough issues (Direct shortcut - http://bit.ly/PuMpwp)
Related Issues:
Bullying for Girls, Hazing, Fraternities, No Bully Pledge - Students, More on Bullies

7:48
Calling My Childhood Bully

No Bully Anthems: 5 Empowering Music Videos Created By Teens (WATCH)


From big-time Hollywood productions to humble home videos, this year has seen an outpouring of bullying movies, short films, and music videos. None may hit closest to home, however, than the ones created by those at the center of the bullying epidemic -- teens. With students all across the country victimized through bullying, teens are putting a stop to the mean-spiritedness with self-produced videos delivering messages of kindness, individual empowerment, and positivity. Whether it's a heartfelt chorus or an inspiring visual representation, these films send strong messages of tolerance and acceptance to high school students around the world.

Are you inspired by these student-made bully prevention anthems? Which is your favorite? Tell us in the comments below or tweet @HuffPostTeen!

"Who Do You Think U R?"
Cyprdss Ranch High School Anti-Bullying Lip Dub 5:27

"Are You Happy Now?"
"Are You Happy Now?" Official Music Video 4:14

"Freak In The Crowd"
"Freak In The Crowd" - Clean Version 3:51

"Even At A Whisper, Our Voice is Power"
Sister Soleil - Even at a Whisper 5:01 (Bullied to death)

"The Same Way"
Ali & Christina - The Same Way 5:17

"Mean"
Taylor Swift - Mean [lyrics] 3:58

Source: www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/04/11/anti-bullying-anthems-6-e_n_1418149.html?ref=teen

Need help or someone to talk to?
In the U.S., call 1-800-273-8255 for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Even if you're not suicidal, it's great to have someone to talk to who cares.

Are mean girls getting meaner? Teens open up about bullying


7:23

Video: Bullying has become a high-profile social issue. Among the possible reasons: Many young girls nowadays believe acting mean is a path to popularity in school, and social media makes it easier than ever. NBC’s Kate Snow reports.

Even with all the talk about reining in badly behaving kids, bullying seems to have gotten worse than it’s ever been, especially with the added weapons that the Internet provides. And the suicide of a Florida girl has brought that issue front and center once again.

For 12-year-old Rebecca Ann Sedwick, the bullying got to be so unbearable that she felt suicide was her only option to escape the relentless and malevolent bullying of two classmates, one 12 and the other 14. Sedwick climbed to the top of a tower and jumped to her death.

Both of her alleged tormentors were arrested this week and the Polk County, Fla., sheriff’s strong words and the outrage over what happened have highlighted the difficulties tween and teen girls face each day all over the country.

To many, it seems that the “mean girls” have simply gotten more vicious and destructive.

In an effort to battle bullying, a group of New York area girls have begun performing in a musical with an anti-bullying message called “The New Kid.” The girls say they understand Sedwick’s struggles, having been bullied themselves.

They talked about their experiences with NBC’s Kate Snow.

“I think that mean girls are getting meaner because with all the social media that’s going on these days it’s a lot easier for rumors to spread,” said Melody Munitz.

Amelia Rose Allen says she understands what it’s like to become the target of a mean girl.

“She would just criticize,” she said. “If I wore shorts with cowboy boots, she’d be like, ‘Oh that’s so ugly. Why would you come to school?’ And then at one point on the bus it got like physical. And then this year we decided to home school because it was enough.”

The girls say they know what motivates the bullies—meanness has become a pathway to popularity.

“I feel like most mean girls, they do it for power,” Devon Reilly explained.

Sometimes girls do it to remain part of a clique, and even if they’re not usually cruel, they say mean things to fit in.

“I feel like some people are just sucked in,” said Sienna Schofield. “Like my friend. She’s been my friend for years. And recently, in middle school she’s popular because of some of her mean friends. She’s not a mean person. But when she’s with them, she’s mean to other people. And she feels like she has to be mean.”

Parents, the girls say, just look the other way.

“Some parents don’t get the memo that . . . that you need to address this,” Reilly said. “If nobody addresses it, then it’s just gonna keep going on. And it’s just gonna continue to get worse.”

Sedwick’s mom knows all about the tragic consequences that can ensue if parents don’t fix the problem.

“The best legacy for my daughter,” she said, “is for all parents everywhere to monitor their kids and to make sure they know everything that they’re doing. That’s one thing I wish I’d stayed on top of.”

Psychiatrist Sue Varma agrees that parents need to pay close attention to what their kids are doing and to step in when necessary.

“I see a rise in bullying because of cyber bullying,” Varma said. “Social media has its effect and impact creating a permanent, public and lasting humiliation. So a lot of what parents need to do is to be able to A, monitor what’s involved and B, bolster self-esteem and confidence.”

Keep on top of what’s happening in your child’s world, Varma advised.

“Talk to them about their feelings and show them physical affection,” she said. “That [physical closeness] is key not only on an emotional level but also on a neurobiological level.”

Hugging has been shown to cause the release of a hormone called oxytocin.

“Oxytocin is one of the cuddle hormones, one of the bonding hormones,” Varma said. “But it also helps us empathize and connect with other people.”
Source: www.today.com/moms/are-mean-girls-getting-meaner-teens-open-about-bullying-8C11417897?ocid=msnhp&pos=1

Five Myths about Bullying


Bullying is for kids

We often imagine bullying as something that only happens to children. We sometimes talk about it as being misguided or a cry for help on the part of the bully as if it has little or no consequence. The reality cannot be farther from the truth.

In a case earlier this year, a Wisconsin teacher was bullied by other teachers for 10 years. The transgender teacher was taunted, isolated, undermined, and made fun of until she was driven to suicide. After her death, it was revealed that she had appealed to her principle for support over and over again, but her pleads for help fell on deaf ears. Read more about her case here.

Teachers not only bully one another but they also bully children. According to one study published in The International Journal of Social Psychiatry, an anonymous survey of 116 teachers at seven schools found that 45 percent of teachers admitted to having bullied a student.

Bullying is a type of abuse. The reality is that the behaviors and dynamics at play with bullying in kids?—?targetting people perceived as weak, using force to get your way, and social isolating people?—?are alive and well in adult culture. Workplace harassment, catcalling, and other forms of violence are manifestations of violence taken out on women, trans people, and other groups of people perceived as weak.

Cyberbullying Isn't Real

Like other forms of abuse, sometime bullying is physical about more often it is psychological. When students are bullied in school and then come home to face psychologically damaging peer relationships online, cyberbullying dramatically intensifies the psychological toll because it the bullying becomes relentless and sustained. In 2013, a study found that almost 70% of young people were affected by cyberbullying, and almost 40% of young people described being experiencing cyberbullying on a ’highly frequent basis.’ Around 34% of those who were bullied said their experiences lasted for over a month.

Facebook is the leading social network used for cyberbullying. In fact, Trans Lifeline pays to boost advertisements sometimes in order to grow our audience and spread the word about our services. We used to target people who support national LGBTQ organizations, but we stopped because we would always get at least some commentary on the thread invalidating transgender identities, denouncing transgender people, and occasionally even advocating that trans people should kill themselves. One commenter wrote, “Trans suicide is a problem that fixes itself. And we are all better off.” Despite numerous appeals to Facebook, reporting people, and banning them, we have never heard that Facebook has taken any action in response to abusive behavior.

Cyberbullies go out of their way to leverage social media as a tool to intimidate, humiliate and literally destroy people they target because they are perceiving us as weak. Those kinds of comments can be the difference between life and death to trans people who are struggling suicidality and already face so many emotional, social, and economic stressors. Read more about how to respond if you are being bullied on Facebook.

People being bullied just need to suck it up

Bullying has been around for a long time, but has not been taken seriously until recently. In the last few decades, media attention and research have begun examining the negative effects of bullying on victims and bullies. The cost to the person’s emotional and psychological well-being is immediate but also can be sustained throughout a person’s lifetime.

Many trans people begin are bullied for being gay as kids. Our peers sense our difference but do not have the language or nuanced understanding to name exactly how we are different. It also points to a truth?—?bullying is more about the bully and about playing to social norms than is is a genuine commentary on the person being bullied.

Young trans women often appear as sissies to their peers. For boy, the crime of not fulfilling the masculine expectations is punishable by intimidation, aggression, and violence. Moreover, femininity itself is punished through their lifetimes through by fathers who want to “beat it out of them,” by peers who target them with “politically incorrect” jokes to help them “man-up”, and by corrective rape. The dominant social structure of manhood in the US is a hierarchy created and maintained by one’s ability and willingness to dominate others. In male social spaces gender policing always goes hand in hand with misogyny (you throw like a girl) and homophobia (don’t be gay about it). How are trans women supposed to feel after a lifetime of taking in messages that they are weak or emotional or any of 1,000 other negative messages “like a girl”, and then they realize that they are in fact a girl?

Transgender and gender nonconforming youth face challenges at home, at school, in foster care, and in juvenile justice systems. A national survey by GLSEN has found that 75% of transgender youth feel unsafe at school, and those who are able to persevere had significantly lower GPAs, were more likely to miss school out of concern for their safety, and were less likely to plan on continuing their education.

Well researched prevention and intervention strategies for victims, bullies and bystanders have lifelong benefits. What if we had the same attitude about cancer or some other disease which has been around for a long time? What if we knew we could do something to make a difference but instead did nothing? We know that we can all make a difference in preventing or reducing bullying behavior.

Schools & institutions aren't responsible to stop bullyiing

Only recently have we begun to understand the roots of bullying behavior. While bullying may never be eliminated, it can be significantly reduced with school and family interventions.

However, a cross-national meta-analysis of 44 evaluations identified particular characteristics of school-based bullying programs that may help reduce bullying (D.P. Farrington and M.M. Ttofi, School-based programs to reduce bullying and victimization, Campbell Systematic Reviews ?6 (2009)). The study found that on average, school-based anti-bullying programs decreased bullying behavior by 20%-23% and victimization by bullies by 17%-20%. This study found the intensity and duration of a program, as well as the number of program elements, to be linked with effectiveness. Other elements found important to effectiveness were parent training, parent meetings, firm disciplinary methods, classroom rules, classroom management, and improved playground supervision. The study did not find evidence that working with peers was effective. The authors also recommended that a system of accreditation for anti-bullying programs be established to help ensure that programs being adopted by schools include the elements that have been found to be effective. Another study pointed out the importance of addressing peer norms in anti-bullying programs. In peer groups where bullying is the norm, the authors of the study argue that “Until these peer norms are modified, it is likely that bullying behaviors will remain intractable in our schools.”

A Congressional Report entitled, Student Bullying: Overview of Research, Federal Initiatives, and Legal Issues

Research report and recommendatio ns from the Educational Research Association on the Best Anti-bullying Practices in Schools, Colleges, and Universities.

Bullying victims tend to share a set of characteristics or behaviors such as having lower peer acceptance, being different in some way, being physically weak, or having an unusual home life (neglectful or overprotective). While these behaviors are a part of understanding the social phenomena of bullying we cannot ascribe to or perpetuate the idea that victims are to blame for the bullying. Bully like an other form of abuse, and we need intervene with the bully.
Source: medium.com/@Translifeline/5-myths-about-bullying-e40a9e1ea2bc#.c3ztqct39

YouTube star Andie Case talks empowering music, 'Girls Night In' tour and amazing fans


With YouTube evolving as a social media platform for aspiring musicians, artists are garnering millions of subscribers and, in turn, die-hard fans through the Internet. One such musician, Seattle's rising singer/songwriter Andie Case, has caught the eyes and ears of millions with her popular YouTube videos and charting iTunes releases. Andie launched her YouTube channel with her bandmates by covering Katy Perry's "Roar." The video's success led to Andie's first original song release, "I'll Have You," which received 2.5 million views.

Aside from having perhaps the best voice we've ever heard (seriously the girl can SING!), what makes Andie so special is her desire to empower her young fans with music. In 2014, Andie's car cover mash-up of Rixton's "Me and My Broken Heart" and Rob Thomas' "Lonely No More" went viral with over 21 million views. After making headlines and receiving acclaim for the mash-up, she was able to use her growing influence to put out original songs that inspire people to seek adventure, trust themselves and never let anyone make them feel insignificant. Now, the YouTube sensation is putting faces to usernames with a national tour.

Together with lifestyle, fashion and DIY vloggers (video bloggers) Eva Gutowski, Meredith Foster, Alisha Marie, Mia Stammer and Sierra Furtado, Andie is taking to stages throughout the country for Fullscreen Live's "Girls Night In." Together, the young women showcase their talents while proving that being yourself is so much better than aspiring to unrealistic ideals. The tour enables Andie and the gang to come face-to-face with their beloved fans for a fun scripted show interspersed with games, sketches, contests, musical performances, DIY and more.

Amidst her crazy tour schedule, we were lucky enough to sit down and chat with Andie about the influence behind her inspiring lyrics, how the tour has brought her close friends and life lessons she never expected and of course what she loves about her amazing fans.

How has the tour been for you so far? What made you decide to do it?

It's been amazing. It's been unreal. Starting on YouTube, I never would've thought it'd get to this point. It's crazy getting to go out and see the people who've been watching my videos and being able to gain new fans too. The fans who come are all just so excited about everything and it's such a good age to really build that self-confidence in them. That's what I try to do with all of my videos. Through my music and social media handles, I try to preach that as much as possible. Plus, being able to wake up every day and do something that I love is just amazing. I also haven't been able to travel a lot in the past so this year I've probably traveled more than I ever have in my life. I grew up in a super sheltered home so this is kind of the first time I've ever been anywhere. I'm so excited! This is also the first time I'd ever met any of these girls and they've been so sweet. I was definitely an outsider in school and didn't have a lot of friends. I always tried super hard to be friends with people so I was nervous about this tour, but they're so accepting. I've never been able to click with other girls this well so this has been a great experience.

Talk to me about your upcoming EP release! How would you describe the music? Have you been able to record or work on it at all during the tour?

No recording on the tour but I'm constantly writing 24/7. Actually, a few of the songs I'm performing on the tour will be on my upcoming EP, so it's cool that everyone coming to the show gets to hear some pre-production. The EP is mostly pop-rock. I grew up listening to everything and always thought I'd be into more pop, and I'm sure that's what a lot of people expected me to do as a blonde-haired girl with blue eyes, but sometimes I'd rather head bang to Marilyn Manson. It's just a mixture of everything. I love pop music and main-stream music, those are the songs that I cover, so having a little bit of that along with other things that influence me kind of make two worlds collide into one beautiful big mess.

Your originals are all extremely relatable and many have inspiring messages. What's the inspiration behind most of the originals for you? What's your favorite topic to write/sing about?

I think every girl likes hearing and writing break-up songs. I have a song called "Last Song" and the chorus is basically just saying, "okay this is the last song I'm going to write about you." I started out writing a bunch of sad songs and then I was just like why am I writing such depressing stuff and whining about things? Why not give girls attitude? The songs I used to listen to growing up gave me confidence and helped me get through being such an outsider. I would listen to them and just be like "Yeah! I'm a survivor!" So I wanted to give girls that type of confidence. Having a song like "Last Song" is like "you screwed this up but guess what? I'm over it and this is the last song I'm going to write. All my feelings are down and now I can move on." I also have a song called "The Bed I've Made" and that was written about everything I went through with my parents growing up. I was really sheltered and they never really wanted me to do anything because they cared about me and didn't want me to get hurt, but I felt like I had to learn for myself and couldn't just take their word for it. I have to experience something myself to learn. I have to fall and hurt myself to learn from it. "The Bed I've Made" is basically saying "okay, mom, you can tell me this is going to happen but I have to do it myself and then I'll pay for the consequences and sleep in the bed that I made." So all of my songs have really positive and empowering messages.

You're obviously able to use music as a way to connect with people all over the world, especially now with social media. Why did you choose YouTube as your platform?

I always loved music. I was the middle child in a big family so I was always searching for my identity. I wanted to reach as many people as possible through music. I would sing at talent shows or sing the "National Anthem" during assemblies but nothing was reaching the amount of people I wanted. I've always been really driven and competitive and I just wanted results and wanted to get out there quickly. I had friends who talked about YouTube covers and I had seen other artists do that and they were able to build their platforms that way. So my two bandmates and I just threw a cover on YouTube on a whim and it just kind of took off from there. I got such positive responses and we got like 8,000 subscribers just from uploading that one video. It motivated us to keep going and to upload more covers. The whole point of uploading covers was to get people's attention so they would then go to the originals. It just blew up. I never thought I'd be able to go on tour like this. YouTube is such an amazing platform and such an incredible thing to build off of.
Source: www.aol.com/article/2015/10/19/youtube-star-andie-case-talks-empowering-music-girls-night-in/21251094/

Boyfriend of Suicide Suspect Regrets Not Stopping Alleged Bullying


2:32

The 13-year-old boy at the center of an adolescent love triangle that ended in Rebecca Sedwick's suicide said he might have tried to stop the bullying that tormented the Florida girl if he had known about it.

For the past nine months, John Borgen, 13, of Lakeland, Fla., has been dating the 14-year-old girl police charged with felony aggravated stalking in connection with Rebecca's death. But he says he dated Rebecca, 12, before becoming involved with the 14-year-old.

"I think about her [Rebecca] almost every day," wondering whether "I could have stopped it," he told ABC News in an interview Thursday night.

Will Parents Be Charged for Girl Bullied Into Suicide?

Police arrested and charged the 14-year-old girl earlier this week with taunting Rebecca online and at school.

Police say the 14-year-old suspect is one of the girls who told Rebecca in online postings she should "drink bleach and die" and should "kill herself" because she was "ugly." But police say perhaps the worst of the alleged bullying case came after Rebecca of Lakeland, Fla., jumped from a concrete silo tower to her death Sept. 9.

Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd accused the teen of gloating on Facebook after the suicide about bullying Rebecca.

John said, "I thought somebody else did it. I thought somebody hacked her account, but when she was being charged and arrested, I was like why didn't she tell the police that somebody got into her account or got her password or something?"

The sheriff released the names and mug shots of the accused juveniles earlier this week to send a message to others in the community about cyberbullying. ABC News is not revealing either girl's identity because they have been charged as juveniles.

The parents of the 14-year-old suspect told ABC News earlier this week that they monitored their daughter's Facebook activities nightly and saw no signs of bullying, leading them to believe someone hacked her account.

Rebecca Sedwick Suicide: Parents of Alleged Cyberbully Blame Facebook Hack

When asked whether he was ashamed of his girlfriend's actions, John said, "It's like mixed feelings. One day tells me I'm tired of all of this bullying. This part tells me every day I'm tired of the bullying, because I don't want to see it again.

"But at the second part, it's like, I still don't believe that she did it. But the fact is that she still bullied her, she should never have done it."

John said he never saw his girlfriend or the 12-year-old suspect, who has also been charged with felony aggravated stalking, bully Rebecca online or in person.

Meanwhile, at a town hall meeting at Crystal Lake Middle School in Lakeland, Fla., Thursday night, Sheriff Judd revealed new information that there were clear warning signs Rebecca wanted to end her life. Judd said he saw postings on her Facebook wall asking, "how many over-the-counter drugs do you take to die?"

Teen Charged in Fatal Cyberbullying Case of Rebecca Sedwick to Remain in Jail

"We must talk to our children, we must give them the opportunity to open up," Judd told parents.

John says bullying is a problem at Crystal Lake Middle School, where he Rebecca and the two suspects all went to school.

"I have seen bullying at school, and I almost got into a fight because they were bullying," he said. "They were jumping my friend ..., and I pushed the other kid out of the way and told him, 'You don't need to be stepping on him,' and we almost got in a fight, but everybody was holding me back," John said.

John says he is now on a mission to expose bullies and urges anyone who is a victim of bullying to speak up and alert others. He says Rebecca and the alleged bullying are something he thinks about every day.

"I think about her almost every day. That comes to my mind almost every day," he said, adding, "I could have stopped it."
Source: abcnews.go.com/US/boyfriend-suicide-suspect-regrets-stopping-alleged-bullying/story?id=20607803

Don’t believe women are endlessly harassed? Watch this


1:56

It’s a little surprising someone didn’t think of this before.

But here it is: hard evidence, irrefutable proof, upwards of 100 undeniable examples revealing just what kinds of casual, routine harassment await any young, “normal” American woman strolling around the city by herself, in a single day.

Do you think you already know? Think you have a clue what it’s like? Let me just suggest this to you right now: You have no idea.

I’m talking to the guys, of course (women are already nodding). No matter your feminist quotient – and I like to think mine’s pretty high – men simply have no way of knowing what it’s like to endure the endless stream of leers, catcalls, insults, profanities, groping, stalking, public masturbation, sexual innuendos, unsolicited offers and smarmy “compliments” coming at the typical young female from all manner of bros, dudes and street-corner douchebags as she attempts to walk from point A to point B.

Why don’t we see it? Because when a man walks around with a woman, he acts as a sort of douchebag repellant, fending off the bulk of the lurches, whistles and dumb, macho grunts. Hence, we can’t ever fully know what a woman experiences in the average solo urban stroll.

Until now. Here is a video all men should watch. It was made by Rob Bliss Creative for Hollaback!, an anti-harassment group.

The idea is simple enough: Install a videocamera into a backpack, strap it to the director’s shoulders as he walks a few paces ahead of actress Shoshana B. Roberts for about 10 hours in a single day in NYC.

Roberts is dressed plainly enough, in jeans and a crew-neck T-shirt. She’s carrying a microphone in each hand. They simply walk around and record what happens.

All told, they caught upwards of 100 examples of harassment in 10 short hours, ranging from smarmy, offhand “compliments” to full-blown leers, not to mention accusations, entitlements, pleas for attention running from creepy to gross to downright dangerous, not a single one of them free of the sense that this is merely normal guy behavior, that the male has some sort of obvious right to say, do, act however he wants. Because there’s nothing she can do about it. Because he’s stronger and dominant and could kill her if he wanted to. Because America, bitch.

(Side note to all dudebros, right now irritated about this video and itching to argue that not all douchebag behavior constitutes harassment: If you think hurling some smarmy, unsolicited comment at a women as she walks to work isn’t more than obnoxious, you’re not paying enough attention. What’s more, you’re conveniently ignoring the tone, the expectation of reply, the not-at-all subtle sexual charge – not to mention the gross cumulative effect. You don’t get it, because it doesn’t happen to you. No male would dare stalk or harass someone stronger or more potentially dangerous than them. Put yet another way: Those aren’t compliments. They’re proof of ownership.
Source: blog.sfgate.com/morford/2014/10/29/women-are-endlessly-harassed/?cmpid=NLmorford

A relative of Adam Lanza said the Newtown killer was abused while he attended Sandy Hook Elementary.


The New York Daily News writes that Adam Lanza "never seemed emotionally right after his time in Sandy Hook," according to a family member who was granted anonymity by the paper.

"Adam would come home with bruises all over his body,” the relative said. “His mom would ask him what was wrong, and he wouldn’t say anything. He would just sit there."

For more on the steps Lanza's mom reportedly took to end the abuse and other details about the alleged bullying, read the entire Daily News story here.

Lanza shot his mother in their Connecticut home before slaying 20 first-graders and six staff members of Sandy Hook Elementary School on December 14, 2012. He then committed suicide.

It's been previously reported that Lanza may have been influenced by other mass shootings. The Newtown shooter apparently kept a huge, meticulously detailed spreadsheet of other mass murders and attempted killings.

But while potential motives for Lanza's massacre continue to trickle in, authorities have kept mum on the topic while the investigation, which could last through the summer, continues.
Source: www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/16/adam-lanza-abused-sandy-hook_n_3086468.html?1366134794&icid=maing-grid10%7Chtmlws-main-bb%7Cdl4%7Csec1_lnk2%26pLid%3D299501

Busting parents won't stop cyberbullies, experts say


Calls to prosecute the parents of cyberbullies have been gaining urgency since the felony-stalking arrests Monday of two central Florida girls, ages 12 and 14, who allegedly harassed a classmate, Rebecca Sedwick, 12, until she jumped to her death at an industrial site in Polk County, Fla., on Sept. 10.

Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd — a longtime crusader against cyberbullying — has been pushing to charge the parents of the 14-year-old girl with failing to monitor her online activity before she was arrested in Sedwick's suicide. But no states have passed a law holding parents criminally liable for cyberbullying waged by their children.

In fact, a jury of experts already offers a clear verdict on that notion: It won’t stop online taunting.

Such statutes might even drive online harassment deeper into the Internet underground, further from the reach of schools and parents, making the abuse and the abusers harder to find and exacerbating the trauma to young victims, assert several anti-cyberbullying advocates.

Judd told TODAY on Thursday that he aims “to make sure that we do everything we can to send a loud message so parents have to pay attention. At this point in the investigation, we don't have a criminal case against any parents. We wish we did.” On Thursday, Florida lawyer Mark O'Mara, defense attorney for George Zimmerman, announced he was drafting a proposed law to hold parents accountable in some cyberbullying cases.

In an unrelated development Friday afternoon, the mother of the 14-year-old girl charged in connection with the online taunting of Sedwick was herself arrested by the Polk County Sheriff's Office. Vivian Vosburg, 30, was booked into the county jail on two counts of felony child abuse and four counts of child neglect. That arrest was prompted by a one-minute Facebook video obtained this week by the Polk County Sheriff's Office -- and played for media members Friday -- in which Vosburg is shown, in the sheriff's words, entering a bedroom in which two boys were fighting. "Vivian rushed in and immediately started beating one of them with her fist," Judd said. "One of the boys rolled onto the floor and appeared to be unconscious, or at least not doing a lot moving, and she continued to hit the other one."

While Friday's arrest was not directly linked to the cyber-stalking charge against Vosburg's daughter, Judd did say: "What I suggest to you is the bullying that we saw (allegedly carried out by Vosburg's daughter) certainly could have been a byproduct of what I saw that occurs, apparently, as a routine in the home."

Thirty-four states have enacted laws banning cyberbullying since the 2006 suicide of Megan Meier, a 13-year-old girl with depression who committed suicide after being taunted on MySpace by the mother of a former friend, but there are no state statutes that open the path to prosecute the parents of cyberbullies.

"To my knowledge in the United States, no one has yet brought an action against parents in connection with kids cyberbullying," said Parry Aftab, a security, privacy and cyberspace lawyer, adding that a federal law does make it a felony to harass someone directly via digital technology. "But at some point, parents have to step up and be parents," said Aftab. "They’ve got to keep other kids safe from their kids' acting out."

"You should die," and "Why don't you go kill yourself," were among the hate-filled messages investigators found directed at Sedwick on social media. The problems between Sedwick and the other girls arose in 2012 over a "boyfriend issue," Judd said earlier.

Tragedies like Sedwick's suicide can spark the hunt for a scapegoat, but prosecuting parents isn't the solution, says Sameer Hinduja, a criminal justice professor at Florida Atlantic University and co-director of the Cyberbullying Research Center. "Legislators and politicians jump in and say we've got to pass laws, have stronger sanctions. But when you think it through and ask what's going to deter someone from messing up the same way again, (prosecuting the parents) is not the best way to respond. "

Legal sanctions imposed on parents could pit the child against the parents, Hinduja added. "The child will be in trouble even further, perhaps for getting the parent into trouble," he said.

Even the most well-intentioned parents cannot police their kids' social-networking habits around the clock, said Tina Meier, whose 13-year-old daughter Megan committed suicide in 2006 after allegedly being hoaxed and bullied on the social network MySpace by Lori Drew, the mother of one of Megan's former friends. Drew was found guilty by a federal jury of three computer-crime misdemeanors. In 2009, a federal judge vacated the conviction.

"Is it important for us to hold parents accountable for their children’s actions?" Meier asked. "Yes. But it's impossible for parents to be there 24 hours a day."

There are many parents "who truly simply don’t know about it, or who are really trying (to monitor their children's computer use)," Meier told NBC News.

Casey M., a 17-year-old Internet safety advocate from New Rochelle, N.Y., feels indicting parents for their kids' online bullying acts will have "an inverse effect" and increase online tormenting. Casey M. is part of the national Teen Angels campaign, which speaks to parents and teenagers about Internet safety and cyberbullying. Group members don't use their last names when speaking with the media.

"The more that parents try to control what their kids are doing online, the more sneaky kids get, and the less parents know what their kids are doing online," Casey M. said, adding that she's never faced serious cyberbullying. "The kids would try to hide things a little more."

Long before the suicide of Rebecca Sedwick, Sheriff Judd had emerged as a passionate leader in the national effort to curb cyberbullying. In 2007, Judd became coordinator of the Central Florida Internet Crimes Against Children Task Force. He also is a top digital forensic specialist. Under his watch, Internet-crime prosecutions increased by 37 percent in that region. Judd did not respond to an interview request Friday by NBC News.

On Thursday, the parents of one of the two girls charged in connection with Sedwick's suicide said through their attorney that they frequently tracked their daughter's cellphone and Facebook accounts and never saw a problem to confront and, further, that their daughter "is a loving, caring, and supportive young girl with many friends."

While no parents have been charged for their child's cyberbullying, in sporadic cases, police and prosecutors have charged and convicted American parents for negligence after their children killed other kids with loaded guns left lying around the house or by crashing cars into other people when driving drunk, Aftab said.

"Charges are only brought (in those situations) when you see you’re not going to be able to stop the kids from doing this again because their parents either don't care or aren’t willing to step in and do something effective," said Aftab, who founded Teen Angels and runs WiredSafety.org.

An estimated 15 percent of U.S. adolescents report being bullied on the Internet during a given year, according to a survey conducted in 2012.

But Casey M. believes the victimization rate is far higher.

"It's really such a widespread problem," she said. "I've found that you can pretty much talk to anyone and they'll know of someone directly involved in a more serious cyber-harassment situation."
Source: www.nbcnews.com/health/busting-parents-wont-stop-cyberbullies-experts-say-8C11418633?ocid=msnhp&pos=1

These Are The States Where Students Get Harassed The Most For Their Sexual Orientation


Students in states such as South Carolina and Alabama face significantly more bullying over their sexual orientation than students in states like Connecticut and Massachusetts.

In October, the Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network (GLSEN), a group that works to make schools safe for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender students, released its 2013 National School Climate Survey. On Thursday, the group released further information about what these survey results look like by state , revealing the varying challenges faced by LGBT students in different areas of the country.

The 2013 National School Climate Survey asked almost 8,000 students between the ages of 13 and 21 from all 50 states about the type of environment they face at school. Overall, the results showed marked improvements from previous years, although more than 55 percent of those surveyed still reported feeling unsafe at school because of their sexual orientation.

However, as shown in the state profiles released Thursday, some areas of the country clearly provide friendlier learning environments than others -- although every state has substantial room for improvement. The organization provided results for the 29 states where it had the most data to validate its findings.

The chart shows where students reported facing the most verbal harassment, physical harassment and physical assault over their sexual orientation. (Only 29 states reporting.)
Source: www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/11/13/glsen-survey-by-state_n_6149306.html

'She should be here'


Two girls, ages 12 and 14, have been charged with aggravated stalking for what a Florida sheriff described Tuesday as "maliciously harassing" a 12-year-old girl who jumped from a tower to her death.

The middle school students were booked into a juvenile detention center on Monday night and released to their parents under house arrest, Polk County Sheriff Grady Judd said.

Rebecca Sedwick, 12, jumped to her death from a third-story cement plant structure in central Florida on Sept. 10 after being verbally, physically and cyber bullied throughout 2012 and 2013, Judd said.

"She should be here. And she should be here to see justice getting served," her mother, Tricia Norman said.

Rebecca Sedwick's mother says she jumped to her death after being terrorized online. Â NBC's Charles Hadlock reports.

At a Tuesday news conference, Judd said investigators were in the midst of gathering information from social media sites about the bullies’ interactions with Sedwick, but a Facebook post by the 14-year-old which read, “yes I bullied Rebecca and she killed herself, but I don’t give a (expletive),” prompted Monday's arrests.

Judd said detectives arrested the 12-year-old, who was one of Sedwick’s “primary” bullies, because they decided, “We can’t leave her out there. Who else is she going to torment, who else is she going to harass?”

While bullying is not a crime, Judd said, the girls have been charged with aggravated stalking — a third-degree felony — because the victim was younger than 16 years old.

"We've lost sleep over that child dying needlessly. And we want to see things change," Judd said.

In addition to the 14-year-old's Facebook confession, Judd said both girls made "incriminating statements" when they were arrested.

He said the girls’ case would proceed in the juvenile system and any punishment would depend on juvenile sanctions, adding, “it won’t be severe enough, in my estimation, for this conduct.”

Judd said the 14-year-old started to “torment” Sedwick in 2012 and according to a Polk County Sheriff’s statement, other children at the school also started bullying Sedwick to avoid being bullied themselves. The 12-year-old was Sedwick’s former “best friend,” Judd said.

Sedwick’s mother removed her daughter from the school, but the bullying continued online, where the 14-year-old wrote harassing insults, including that Sedwick should “kill herself” and “drink bleach and die,” Judd said.

“We believe that it certainly contributed to [Sedwick] jumping from the cement towers,” Judd said.

Josh Pacheco, Gay Michigan Teen, Committed Suicide After Intense Bullying, Say Parents


5:21

Parents of a gay Michigan teen who committed suicide last month say bullying is to blame for their son's death.

Seventeen-year-old Josh Pacheco of Fenton came out to his mother just two months ago, and was frequently bullied both inside and outside of school prior to his death on Nov. 27, The Flint Journal/MLive is reporting.

"My son was very funny and exceptionally sensitive and loving to other people’s feelings,” Pacheco’s mother, Lynnette Capehart, told the publication. "He was having problems with bullying. He didn’t really want to tell us very much...it was very disheartening to me.”

As MLive pointed out in a second article, Pacheco's suicide was the second such case in Michigan's Genesee County. In January, Flushing teen Jarrod Nickell also committed suicide after experiencing bullying in school, according to his parents.

Capehart also noted that school officials never notified her about the problems her son was facing in school. Meanwhile, the superintendent at Linden High School, where Pacheco was a junior, says no bullying had ever been reported to faculty members. “We weren’t aware of any specifics. There’s been a lot of stories that have turned up over the weekend that we are looking into,” Ed Koledo is quoted as saying.

Meanwhile, a Dec. 5 vigil is reportedly being held in Pacheco's memory. Click here for more information.

The case follows news that a Michigan-based performing arts teacher was suspended for playing a pro-marriage equality song to her students in class. Though her suspension has since been reversed following some very public outcry, teacher Susan Johnson has since said, "It's been really difficult to go to work every morning and have this hanging over me, this anxiety."
Source: www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/05/josh-pacheco-gay-michigan-teen-suicide-bullying-_n_2246767.html?icid=maing-grid10%7Chtmlws-main-bb%7Cdl31%7Csec1_lnk3%26pLid%3D242183

 

Need help or someone to talk to?
In the U.S., call 1-800-273-8255 for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Even if you're not suicidal, it's great to have someone to talk to who cares.

Rachel Ehmke, 13-Year-Old Minnesota Student, Commits Suicide After Months Of Bullying


Rachel Ehmke, a 13-year-old seventh grader in Mantorville, Minn., died April 29 after hanging herself at her home. The months leading up to the tragedy were a whirlwind of peer abuse instances, her parents say.

Now following Rachel's Friday funeral that was met with widespread community condolences, Rick and Mary Ehmke are speaking out against the bullying they say their daughter endured at Kasson/Mantorville Middle School and online.

Rachel's family and friends say the teen fell victim to school bullying last fall when her chewing gum was stuck to her textbooks and the word "slut" was scrawled across her gym locker, the Austin Daily Herald reports. And while she was outgoing, athletic and friendly, the same group of girls reportedly threatened Rachel and kept calling her a "prostitute," though she had never kissed a boy, according to KMSP.

Two days before Rachel's death, an anonymous text was sent to other students at the school, KARE reports.

"It was pretty explicit. Something to the effect of that Rachel was a slut and to get her to leave the Kasson-Mantorville School, forward this to everyone you know," parent Chris Flannery told the station.

But after the text was reported to authorities, it was traced to someone who wasn't a student at the school, according to Minnesota Public Radio. The district's bullying policy prohibits threats both in person and online, and promises investigations within 24 hours of any reported bullying.

Rachel reportedly pleaded with her father not to mention the bullying to school officials, for fear of worsening the situation. A note that her parents found after her death read, "I'm fine = I wish I could tell you how I really feel," alongside a picture of a broken heart, according to KMSP.

Dodge County authorities plan to meet this week to discuss possible criminal charges, the Star Tribune reports. But Rick Ehmke says the family doesn't plan to press charges against those who bullied his daughter.

"They're kids. They made some horrible decisions. If these kids would've known this would happen I'm pretty sure they never, ever would have done what they did," Rick Ehmke told Minnesota Public Radio. "Sadly enough, even those kids that know who they are will carry this bag their whole life. That's a sad thing too, it really is."

He also notes that the school should have taken heavier measures against the bullies when the taunting was first reported in the fall, adding that technology like phones and social media may have worsened an already bad situation by allowing the bully to essentially follow students home.

"Words hurt. Word can kill," mother Mary Ehmke told KARE.

Community members have planned a prayer vigil and walk in Rachel's memory for 2 p.m. May 19 at Mill Pond in Austin, Minn. The walk aims to show support for the Ehmke family and raise awareness for teen suicide and bullying.

The U.S. Department of Education has identified 16 "key components" in state bullying legislation, including a statement of scope, listing of enumerated groups, process of district policy review, definitions and reporting guidelines. Minnesota ranks last in the country with its state bullying law only covering two of the 16 components, according to an Education Department analysis of state bullying laws released in December. Nebraska ranks second-to-last by covering four of the 16 components.

Statement of scope, one of the most common components of state bullying laws, establishes where legislation applies and what conditions must exist for schools to have authority over student conduct.

According to the Education Department report, Minnesota is one of just three states -- alongside Wisconsin and Arizona -- that prohibits bullying but doesn't define that behavior. The state also doesn't provide for its districts a model bullying policy, and at a mere 37 words, its anti-bullying law is the shortest one in the country:

Each school board shall adopt a written policy prohibiting intimidation and bullying of any student. The policy shall address intimidation and bullying in all forms, including, but not limited to, electronic forms and forms involving Internet use.

Need help or someone to talk to?
In the U.S., call 1-800-273-8255 for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Even if you're not suicidal, it's great to have someone to talk to who cares.

Julio Artuz 15-year-old Julio Artuz in November 2011 spoke out about his special needs teacher bullying him, filming an encounter with the teacher at Bankbridge Regional School in New Jersey.

Ohio Boy A 10-year-old Ohio boy in April 2012 brought a BB gun to school to fend off bullies.

Sawyer Rosenstein New Jersey student Sawyer Rosenstein received a $4.2 million settlement from the Ramsey school district years after a bully's punch paralyzed him for life.

Female Students In March 2012, two female students from Mooresville High School in North Carolina were suspended after another student used her cellphone to film the girls viciously bullying a male student on a school bus.

David Pecoraro, a math teacher at Beach Channel High School in New York, was reassigned to an administrative office after video of him swatting at and spitting on a student surfaced online in February 2012.

Kaleb Kula, a sixth grader with autism, was brutally beaten to the ground at his Maryland school bus stop in January 2012 while his peers stood by to watch -- and catch the act on camera .

Warren Lewis, a Houston teenager accused of shooting a classmate in the leg at school, said in January 2012 that he was defending himself from a group of boys who had been bullying him.

Restraining Order Kentucky mother Joy Furman claims her 9-year-old daughter has been bullied for two years at school, and seeks a restraining order against a fourth-grade boy she accused of tormenting her daughter, kicking her in the chest and chasing her with scissors.

Kelly Chafins and Christy Wilt of Miami Trace Middle School in Ohio were caught on tape in the fall of 2011 verbally abusing a 14-year-old special needs student. Chaffins resigned and Wilt was scheduled to undergo a probation period as well as eight hours of mandatory training in "how to recognize child abuse and stop bullying."

Patty Fabian In October 2011, 15-year-old Patty Fabian was left with black eyes and a broken nose after a peer at Garland High School in Texas viciously assaulted her. Video of the assault was posted on YouTube while Fabian was rushed to the hospital.

Rebecca Arellano, Haileigh Adams In the fall of 2011, Rebecca Arellano was crowned Patrick Henry High School's first lesbian homecoming king. The next day, her girlfriend Haileigh Adams was crowned queen. Despite widespread support from the school and the couple's friends and family, the couple subsequently received waves of hateful phone calls and emails.

Nicolette Taylor In the fall of 2011, 13-year-old Nicolette Taylor from Long Island decided to get plastic surgery after enduring online harassment and name-calling multiple times a week because of the shape of her nose.

Zachary When video of 15-year-old Zachary being beaten over and over again by a classmate went viral in October 2011, the school told the gay teen that he need to "tone [himself] down." The school's handling of the attack outraged Zach's mother Becky Collins, who couldn't understand why officials would say her son needed to change, instead of the bullies.
Source: www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/08/rachel-ehmke-13-year-old-_n_1501143.html?ref=mostpopular

Nine year-old Bodi Irvine


It’s a moment every parent dreads: the day their child comes home from school in tears, explaining that a student at school bullied them.

That’s exactly what happened to 9-year-old Bodi Irvine from Gilbert, Arizona, last week.

When the young boy’s father, Isaac, heard what happened, he was furious -- but he also used it as an opportunity to teach his son, and other children like him, an important lesson. Now his message is going viral.

“You got bullied today, huh?” Isaac asked his son in a Facebook video, which has been viewed nearly 60,000 times. “What happened? You want to talk about it?”

Talking to my son about getting bullied about his long hair. I'm going to read him the comments.

Posted by Isaac Irvine on Tuesday, March 7, 2017

The third-grader explained that two boys made fun of his long hair. Isaac told CBS News both of his identical twin boys, Adin and Bodi, decided last year that they wanted to grow out their blonde hair to donate to kids with cancer. Their hair needs to be at least 10 inches long before they can donate.

“And some kids came by and said you look like a girl?” Isaac asked in the video.

“Yeah,” Bodi said. “It made me feel sad.”

Bullying can happen to anyone, Irvine told Bodi, explaining that he’s been made fun of over the years because of his tattoos. Bodi told his dad he let the boys’ hurtful comments “roll off his back.” 

“That’s a good thing,” Isaac said. “I’m glad you didn’t get angry.” 

“I think being different is a good thing,” said Bodi, as the video ended. “It means you think different than other people.” 

Isaac said he never planned on making the video public. He just wanted his son to be able to talk through what happened and help him understand his feelings.  

“I want Bodi to understand that he can effect the way other people act as much as he can effect the weather, so don’t place your emotional well-being in the hands of other people,” Isaac told CBS News. 

But if it helps parents address bullying with their children, Isaac says it’s worth it.

“I hope they are inspired to be transparent with their kids about their own lives,” he said. “When you hear someone at school was mean, it’s natural to look to the school to solve it. Or tell your kids that you’ll solve it. Had I done that, I feel I would be robbing Bodi of an important life-lesson. He’s stronger than he knows and he can solve this one himself.”

Dozens of people commented on the viral Facebook post, thanking the dad for sharing his conversation with Bodi.

“This video has inspired me to be more open with my children,” one Facebook user said. “My son gets bullied too and it made him so happy to watch this and know other kids go through it.”

“Thank you for sharing this! My daughter who is bullied a lot at school cried watching this and then turned to me and said ‘Mom, it’s ok to be different,’” another wrote.

While Isaac appreciates the flattering comments, he has to admit he’s winging it 90 percent of the time.

“Kids don’t come with a manual and we’re doing the best we can at any given moment,” he said.

What happens when teens don't get help?


Justin Aaberg 15-year-old Justin Aaberg committed suicide in July 2010 after what his mother Tammy Aaberg says was relentless anti-gay bullying at his Minnesota school. Tammy Aaberg has since gathered signatures for a petition and marched to the office of her congresswoman, Republican Rep. Michele Bachmann, to call on Bachmann to publicly address gay bullying.

Lennon Baldwin 15-year-old Lennon Baldwin, a freshman at Morristown High School in New Jersey, committed suicide in April 2012, and police are investigating whether bullying was to blame.

Phoebe Prince A lawsuit brought by the parents of Phoebe Prince, a 15-year-old Irish immigrant in Massachusetts who committed suicide after relentless bullying, was settled for $225,000 in December 2011.

Ashlynn Connor In November 2011, 10-year-old Ashlynn Connor hanged herself in her closet by a scarf, just a few weeks after she told her mother she was being bullied at Ridge Farm Elementary School in Illinois and her mother denied the girl's request to be home schooled.

Rachel Ehmke, 13-Year-Old Minnesota Student, Commits Suicide After Months Of Bullying

Jamey Rodemeyer Taunted since grade school for hanging out with girls, 14-year-old Jamey Rodemeyer told his parents things were finally getting better since high school started. Meanwhile, on a blog his parents didn't know about, he posted increasingly desperate notes ruminating on suicide, bullying, homophobia and pop singer Lady Gaga. A few days later, he hanged himself outside his home in suburban Buffalo, quickly gaining a fame like that described in one of his idol's songs.
Source: www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/08/rachel-ehmke-13-year-old-_n_1501143.html?ref=mostpopular

Stop Being Your Own Bully


Overcoming negative self-talk and beating your inner bully.

There is a bully in your head. He might not be pushing you into the lockers and stealing your lunch money, but he’s chipping away at you bit by bit. And he’s doing you real, physical harm – even if you don’t realize it.

That bully is you. He is the negative voice that keeps putting you down and holding you back. Otherwise known as negative self-talk.

The ramifications of negative self-talk.

Negative self-talk is when you think overly critical or even downright nasty thoughts about yourself.

Stuff like:

“This is too hard. I should just quit.”

“I don’t know why I thought I could do this.”

“I’m never going to succeed.”

“I already fell off the diet wagon with that handful of chips. I might as well finish the whole bag.”

“She’s never going to say yes, so why bother asking.”

Those thoughts are sneaky – they can pop in without warning – but don’t underestimate their power: thinking negative thoughts about yourself translates into real, physical harm to your own body.

Here’s how it works.

Our brains are always chatting away with themselves, whether that’s in words, images, or feelings. Most of the time, we’re just not aware of it.

We now know, thanks to years of research (in studies like this one, and this one) plus fancy new technologies that can map the brain’s activity to the body’s chemical environment, that our “inner conversation” has measurable effects on our bodies.

For the most part, our brains and bodies can’t tell the difference between a real threat and an imagined one.

If you imagine something frightening and stressful, here’s what happens:

Over time, these symptoms mess with your hormones and cell signaling molecules. Chronic psychological stress means you wind up with more of the hormones and physical cues that make you fatter, sicker and weaker, and fewer of those that could make you leaner and stronger.

Oh, and that long-term stress is a major downer for your libido. While short-term stress (such as playing a sport) can temporarily bump up testosterone, long-term psychological stress can suppress it. In other words, chronic self-criticism means no mojo.

Remarkably, studies have found that negative self-talk and self-criticism is often physiologically worse than physical stress.

That’s right: Being tough on yourself can be worse, physiologically speaking, than say, surviving a hurricane.

Ouch.

The good news.

Now that you’re aware of the bully inside and his ability to do real, lasting damage, here are two pieces of good news.

1. If you’re prone to negative self-talk, you can change. Our brains are highly plastic, which means all we have to do is put down some new brain pathways. Self-talk is a habit. Habits can change.

2. Self-talk has physiological effects, but this works both ways. Negative self-talk has negative effects; positive self-talk has positive effects. Why not make your brain work for you instead of against you?

Stop punishing yourself; start doing push-ups.

Here’s a little trick to put that bully in his place.

Be on the alert of negative self-talk. Pay attention to your thoughts. And every time you hear that negative voice, do five push-ups.

That might sound silly, but it works. You’re not punishing yourself, you’re simply bringing attention to your self-talk patterns so you can change them for the better.

Once you’re aware of your inner voice, you can choose think in more constructive ways.

For example, suppose you’re facing a daunting task and the voice pipes up, telling you that you suck and you’re bound to fail.

Do your five push-ups.

Then think about your previous achievements. Visualize the ways you’ve succeeded in the past. Remind yourself about all the awesome things you’ve done, and why you’re capable enough to take on the task at hand.

You can overcome negative self-talk. Don’t let that bully tell you any different.
Source: menshealth.about.com/od/Positive-outlook-for-men/fl/Stop-Being-Your-Own-Bully.htm?utm_campaign=list_menshealth&utm_content=20150210&utm_medium=email&utm_source=exp_nl

Need help or someone to talk to?
In the U.S., call 1-800-273-8255 for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Even if you're not suicidal, it's great to have someone to talk to who cares.

Bully to Death

Dealing With Bullies


Katie doesn't understand why she's picked on by girls in the neighhborhood. It's gotten so bad that she's even asked her mom if they can move.

Dr. Phil offers some advice to Katie, her mother, and to any parent or child dealing with bullying.

"What they're doing has nothing to do with you," he says. "It's not because you're not fun or you're not a good person." If the bullies weren't giving Katie a hard time, they'd be doing it to someone else. It has nothing to do specifically with Katie or her value as a person.

Perhaps they do it to her, Dr. Phil suggests, "because they know you're nice and you won't do anything mean to them." He doesn't want Katie to stop being nice. Instead, he tells Katie to speak to the girls individually. Call one of them on the phone at home, for example, telling her that it's painful to be picked on.

Bullies are nothing more than cowards. That's why they often group together to pick on someone. When they're separated, they're gutless. That's why dealing with people individually is crucial. When you look him/her straight in the eye, he/she will begin to shrink.

When explaining to a child why others are bullies, Dr. Phil says: "Some people just are real angry, so they take it out on other people."

Advice for parents: Empower your children. Be assertive. Call the bullies' parents. Be involved. Speak with your child's teachers to make sure there's an attitude that bullying will not be tolerated.

Advice for teachers: If one child is getting bullied, it needs to be everybody's business. Instill a value system in the classroom and on the playground that someone who sits silently and watches a bully is as guilty as the bully themself. Keep a spirit of inclusion — and enforce it.

 

Need help or someone to talk to?
In the U.S., call 1-800-273-8255 for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Even if you're not suicidal, it's great to have someone to talk to who cares.

A Bully: Not just guys


Nineteen-year-old Tiffany admits to being a bully. She says her main goal is to "piss people off." Her bullying behavior ranges from name-calling to physical attacks. "I pick on weaker kids because I think it's funny," she says.

She's gotten into physical altercations with girls at school and with her boyfriend. Tiffany recalls the fight with her boyfriend: "He called me a name and then I grabbed a cordless phone and threw it at him and broke his nose."

Tiffany has also attacked her mother Judy. "After I grounded her for lying to me, she got really upset," Judy says. "When I refused to let her go out, she physically attacked me. She was screaming and cursing, and came at me and pulled my hair." (Editor: This girl belongs in prison. On several counts of felony assault againsts other kids and against her mother and physical domestic violence against her boyfried. She deserves it but I doubt that Dr. Phil would even pose such a solution, though that would be what would happen to her boyfriend or brother, if they acted in that manner.)

What motivates children to bully? How can the victims of bullying fight back? What can students, parents and teachers do to eliminate bullies in their schools? Dr. Phil offers insight and advice, including how to launch an anti-bullying campaign in your school.

Students - www.drphil./com/advice/bully/students.html

Parents -www.drphil./com/advice/bully/parents.html

Teachers and faculty - www.drphil./com/advice/bully/faculty.html

 

Need help or someone to talk to?
In the U.S., call 1-800-273-8255 for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Even if you're not suicidal, it's great to have someone to talk to who cares.

Sibling Bullying As Detrimental As Peer Bullying, Study Claims


Sibling squabbling is a rite of passage. Brothers and sisters argue; they roughhouse; they steal each other's clothes and toys.

But a provocative new study claims that even mild acts of sibling aggression are just as detrimental as the bullying that many children face at school.

"Historically [sibling bullying] has been accepted as something that's normal, as something that's benign. Oftentimes it's just dismissed," study author Corrina Jenkins Tucker, an associate professor of family studies at the University of New Hampshire, told The Huffington Post. "Some people actually view it as a good thing, thinking it teaches kids how to fight and develop conflict resolution skills."

The new study, published online Monday in the journal Pediatrics, suggests otherwise.

In telephone interviews, researchers asked more than 3,500 children 17 and younger, or their caregivers, whether they'd experienced at least one act of sibling aggression in the past year. It could include psychological bullying, property damage, physical fighting (with no weapons that resulted in no injuries), and more serious physical assault.

Researchers questioned participants about feelings of depression, anxiety and anger. Children who experienced even just one, relatively mild act of sibling aggression in the past year reported greater mental health distress than those who had not. Kids aged 9 and under were more distressed after experiencing physical aggression than their teenage counterparts, but all age groups were equally affected by other forms of bullying.

The new study is the first major investigation of the consequences of sibling aggression, which is generally considered less serious or harmful than the peer bullying that children may face online or in school.

"This is an extremely important study for parents, psychologists, and pediatricians," said Susan Swearer, who did not work on the study, but is a professor of school psychology at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln and co-director of the Bullying Research Network. "The findings clearly connect sibling aggression with youth mental health difficulties."

The difficulty for parents and health care providers is distinguishing between "normal" fighting among children who are growing up together under one roof, and something more serious.

"This study examined sibling aggression [but] not sibling bullying, per se," said Amanda Nickerson, director of the Alberti Center for Bullying Abuse Prevention at the University at Buffalo, who did not work on the new research. "To assess bullying, it is important to assess the intent of the aggression -- was it done to cause harm? -- the repetition of it and the power imbalance between the perpetrator and the victim."

For example, Nickerson said, it is common for brothers and sisters to argue over who gets what items and privileges, such as picking TV shows, as well as for them to annoy each other. However, if a child's aggression is aimed at intentionally hurting a sibling physically or psychologically, then it is different. Repeated behaviors are also a red flag, Nickerson added.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has identified bullying as a major public health concern, citing estimates that suggest nearly 30 percent of adolescents in the U.S. have either been a bully, been the victim of bullying, or both. Children who are bullied are at greater risk for depression and anxiety that may last into adulthood, as well as lower academic scores and broader health complaints. Being a bully also carries health risks: Children who are the aggressors are more likely to abuse alcohol or drugs as they get older, engage in early sexual activity and abuse their partners or children.

Jenkins Tucker and her colleagues hope to next explore how long the mental health effects last and whether patterns vary according to birth order or gender.

But outside experts hail the new study as an important first step.

"This study is the first to unequivocally show that sibling aggression is connected to mental health problems among youth," Swearer said. "In order to effectively treat mental health problems in youth, parents and mental health providers must recognize and understand the role that sibling aggression plays."
Source: www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/06/17/sibling-bullying_n_3437721.html?ir=Parents

High School Football Team Helps Victim of Bullying


So often we hear sad stories of bullying incidents in schools across the country, so it’s nice to hear one where students took action together and righted a wrong.

In Queen Creek, Ariz., a sophomore special needs student, Chy Johnson, was a victim of repeated bullying by her classmates. Johnson was born with a brain disorder and was being teased for being different. Tired of seeing her daughter come home crying every day, Johnson’s mom placed a call to senior Carson Jones, a family friend and quarterback on the football team, to find out who was bullying her daughter.

Jones did more than just find out who was bullying her, reports AZFamily.com . He invited Chy to sit with him and his friends at lunchtime to ensure that she was safe. She’s been eating with Carson and his friends every day since, and there’s been no more bullying incidents. Throughout the school day, Carson and his teammates look out for Chy.

“They’re not bullying her anymore, because they’ve seen her with us or something,” Jones said. Said fellow senior Tucker Workman, “It feels good to know that we helped someone else, because you know, we’re doing good, everything for us is going well, but someone else needs to feel good, too.”
Source: josephsoninstitute.org/sports/pvwh-sportsmanship/2012/11/high-school-football-team-helps-victim-of-bullying

Oklahoma teens walk out of school to protest bullying


(CNN) -- Hundreds of students walked out of their Oklahoma high school Monday to protest the school's response to the alleged bullying of three classmates who say they were raped by the same person.

The students were greeted outside Norman High School by parents and other members of the community who had gathered to support them, junior Sophia Babb told CNN. Together, the crowd waved signs and chanted "No justice, no class" and "No more bullying."

Their message to the world: it could be your daughter.

The protest stemmed from allegations by three female Norman High School students who say classmates bullied them mercilessly after they were raped in separate instances by the same person. The teens and their families say school administrators failed to take adequate action after they reported the rapes and bullying.

Their story spread across social media after Jezebel published a detailed account Friday.

No one has been arrested or charged yet, Norman Police Department Captain Tom Easley told CNN. An investigation began a month ago, and no details will be released until it concludes. A Norman High School spokesperson had not returned CNN's request for comment by publication time.

In a letter to the school community, Norman Public Schools Superintendent Joe Siano encouraged parents to talk to their children about alternatives to the walkout, such as wearing stickers and ribbons provided by the school "in symbolic support."

He also said the school was enlarging a task force to study the implementation of a "targeted, research-based sexual assault curriculum for students," and that the school will continue to respond quickly to reports of sexual assault and bullying.

The three teens told Jezebel that they stopped attending classes and left school voluntarily after the teasing became unbearable. Friends of the teens started a Facebook page, YES ALL Daughters, two weeks ago to show support for them, Babb said. They were fed up with classmates blaming the teens for the attacks, she said.

"You could see it all over social media, the victim blaming," Babb said in a phone call after the protest.

The page drew nearly 10,000 likes in two weeks. With the help of their mothers and relatives, they organized Monday's protest.

"After hearing the story we felt compelled to help the kids do something," said Stacie Wright, whose niece started the Facebook page.

The group posted a long list of "Protest Do(s) and Don't(s)" on its Facebook page to make the event a peaceful one: DO Be Peaceful, Law-Abiding Citizens that do not disturb local businesses, DO Be a Good Neighbor; Do NOT Respond to any negativity, Do NOT Use profanity.

The Daily Oklahoman reported the crowd of protesters Monday was in the hundreds. But organizers estimated that 1,500 attended the protest outside the school, which has an enrollment of about 1,800 students.

"It shows that students won't put up with this harassment and bullying," Babb said. "We stand in solidarity with all victims and we want to show that we support them."
Source: www.cnn.com/2014/11/24/living/yesalldaughters-bullying-protest-oklahoma/index.html?hpt=hp_t3
 

Need help or someone to talk to?
In the U.S., call 1-800-273-8255 for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Even if you're not suicidal, it's great to have someone to talk to who cares.

No Bully Pledge - Students


We the students of ______________________________ agree to join together to stamp out bullying at our school.

We believe that everybody should enjoy our school equally, and feel safe, secure and accepted regardless of color, race, gender, popularity, athletic ability, intelligence, religion and nationality.

Bullying can be pushing, shoving, hitting, and spitting, as well as name calling, picking on, making fun of, laughing at, and excluding someone. Bullying causes pain and stress to victims and is never justified or excusable as "kids being kids," "just teasing" or any other rationalization. The victim is never responsible for being a target of bullying.

By signing this pledge, we the students agree to:

I acknowledge that whether I am being a bully or see someone being bullied, if I don't report or stop the bullying, I am just as guilty.

Signed by: _______________________________________
Print name: _______________________________________
Date:__________________

Source: www.drphil.com/search/search_results.jhtml?_DARGS=%2FIncludes%2Finc_searchform_ad.jhtml.5

 

Need help or someone to talk to?
In the U.S., call 1-800-273-8255 for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Even if you're not suicidal, it's great to have someone to talk to who cares.

Resources


No one should have to endure being teased, bullied or abused. Cruelty violates a person's sense of self and others. If you or someone you know - perhaps your son, duaghter, student, or a friend - is being bullied at school, you can help. Listen to them. Let them know they are not alone in their struggle. Be compassionate, supportive and strong.

There are many organizations expert in dealing with troubled teens. Outlined below are three specific recommended resources:

KidsPeace National Center for Kids Overcoming Crisis, www.kidspeace.org , teen web site at www.teencentral.net , crisis hotline 800.334.4543

National Suicide Prevention Hotline - 800.SUICIDE (784-2433) The blue pages of your local phone book is probably one of the most comprehensive resources available. It lists regional and national crisis hotlines, as well as self-help organizations and support groups in your local area.

Bullying Online. This web site, out of the U.K., features extensive information on the subject, including advice for parents, students, and teachers; legal advice; helpful links and tips; and ideas for school projects to stop bullying. www.bullying.co.uk

Report Cites Harm To Bullies And Victims


Bullying shouldn't be dismissed as a harmless schoolyard rite of passage, according to a report that found bullies and their victims often develop behavioral and emotional problems later in life.
Source: www.intelihealth.com/IH/ihtIH/EMIHC269/333/8895/368991.html?d=dmtICNNews

You've got Kelly Ripa & Marlo Thomas 1:32


Kelly Ripa and Marlo Thomas sat down to talk about Bullying Prevention Month, and why, like it or not, every child is involved in bullying these days.
Source: www.aol.com/video/youve-got-kelly-ripa-marlo-thomas/517491169/

From Teasing to Torment: School Climate Revisited, A Survey of U.S. Secondary School Students and Teachers


From Teasing to Torment: School Climate Revisited, A Survey of U.S. Secondary School Students and Teachers (148 pages) provides an in-depth look at the current landscape of bias and peer victimization as reported by students and teachers from across the nation. In addition to examining various types of bias, including those based on race/ethnicity, religion, body size, and ability, this report provides a focused look at LGBTQ issues in secondary schools. Comparing findings to a similar survey we conducted in 2005, the report discusses the progress that has been made over the past ten years, as well as highlights the challenges that remain. It also offers recommendations and strategies to improve school climate for all students.

Specifically, the research report addresses:

Source: www.glsen.org/article/teasing-torment-school-climate-revisited-survey-us-secondary-school-students-and-teachers

 

*    *    *

Cruelty ever proceeds from a vile mind, and often from a cowardly heart. - Ludovico Ariosto

 



Contact Us | Disclaimer | Privacy Statement
Menstuff® Directory
Menstuff® is a registered trademark of Gordon Clay
©1996-2017, Gordon Clay