When the Beaver was growing up, Mr. Cleaver's
biggest parental worry was whether the poor kid was
queer or just extra tidy. These days, there's a
whole slew of new problems.
- Fifty toddlers drown in buckets every
- More than a quarter of boys living in cities
are arrested before their 18th birthdays
- One in 600 children has Down syndrome
- One in 100,000 mothers will kill their
children this year.
- Every year, Sudden Infant Death Syndrome
inexplicably kills 6,000 American babies less
than a year old.
- One in 10 kids eventually becomes drug or
- Almost two-thirds of kids currently between
the ages of 5 and 17 will die at a relatively
young age due to lack of exercise.
- The risk of conceiving a child with serious
abnormalities surpasses 5 percent when parents
reach age 35
- Seven toddlers in 1,000 are seriously
injured by chains every year.
- At least one in 2,000 babies will be born
with genitals that aren't clearly male or
- One percent of pregnancies are "ectopic," or
occur in the fallopian tubes, resulting in
miscarriage or death
- Infant mortality rates increase by more than
50 percent when the mother smokes.
- Mothers with STDs may give birth to blind,
retarded, brain-damaged or stillborn babies
- About one in every 800 new mothers fall into
a suicidal depression loaded with fantasies of
harming their children
- Nearly one in five pregnancies end in
- Cesarean sections are expected to account
for 40 percent of births by 2001
- As many as 3 percent of fetuses die as a
result of a badly administered
- There's a 14 percent chance a baby will be
born seriously premature, resulting in hospital
bills totaling as much as $200,000
- About 10 percent of American fathers are
caring for a child they think is theirs
- A newborn boy has a 25 percent greater
change of dying before his first birthday than
his twin sister
- There is a one in 100,000 change that a
woman will have conjoined twins.
- Roughly 70 percent of school kids find it
far easier to buy drugs than cigarettes.
- One in 100 kids will develop schizophrenia
later in life.
- The majority of parents claim to have been
happier before they had children.
FHM January-February, 2001
* * *
Families with babies and families without babies
are sorry for each other. - Edgar Watson Howe
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