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August
Love, Marriage and Sex
The other day a friend was sharing with Athena and
me that when their first son was born they were so
excited at the new adventure that they did some
things they later regretted. One of those things
was to begin feeding him solid foods when he was
only two months old. Practically every authority
recommends that you wait until a baby is at least
five or six months until they begin eating foods.
Their digestive systems aren't typically mature
enough to handle solids and you greatly increase a
child's chance of having allergies and other
problems if you introduce food too soon.
Now here is some advice many of you probably
don't want to hear about what you shouldn't do
early on in your relationship and I'll probably get
a lot of nasty mail because of it (read some of the
feedback at
http://www.theromantic.com/JustBetween/feedback.htm
). But I don't write this column to be popular. I
write it to help people have blissful
relationships.
If you want to have a blissful relationship,
don't ruin the chances by introducing things into
your relationship until you are ready for
it.
I'm constantly bewildered when people can't
figure out why they keep having failed
relationships when they muddle them with physical
intimacy. It's fairly common for couples to kiss on
their first date, begin caressing soon afterwards
and start a sexual relationship within a few weeks
or months of knowing each other.
While I'm not going to tell you how long you
should wait to begin kissing, hugging and making
non-sexual contact, I'm going to boldl state that
our bodies and minds are not designed for sexual
relationships until marriage. The two go hand and
hand and to try to separate them causes a lot of
emotional turmoil in our relationships.
The average American has ten sexual partners
before they are married. They either think each
partner is *the one* or they think sex is so
wonderful they don't want to miss out on the
opportunity. Sex is indeed wonderful and very
special and saving it for the wedding night is
treating it as something special. Sharing it with
practically everyone you date makes it rather
ordinary.
Here are just a few of the emotional problems
premarital sex can cause: When you sleep with
someone you aren't married to, they begin to wonder
how many other people you have slept
with.
If you are willing to have sex with someone you
aren't married to, will you feel the same after you
are married?
One has a tendency to compare themselves with
their mate's previous conquests.
Since sexual relationships were designed for
married couples, your mind naturally begins pushing
the relationship further along than where you might
be. You might not even know the person you are
sleeping with but you start forming an emotional
attachment to them. Many couples who really
shouldn't be together are married because a
premarital sexual relationship *bonded* them
together when they wouldn't have bonded without
being physically intimate.
I've talked with quite a few people who waited
to begin a sexual relationship until they were
married and NONE of them have regretted it. I've
chatted with numerous people who began a sexual
relationship before the wedding and PRACTICALLY ALL
of them had regrets.
While waiting to have sex until you are married
won't guarantee a blissful relationship, it will
certainly cause your mate to honor and respect you
much more than if you didn't.
Love, marriage and sex -- let's keep them in
that order.
Something to think about..
©2009, Michael Webb
See Books,
Issues
* * *
Romance is a love affair in other than domestic
surroundings. - Walter Raleigh
Michael Webb is
a world renowned relationship and romance expert
having appeared on over 400 radio and television
shows. He and his wife have been blissfully married
for over 10 years. He is the best-selling author of
The
RoMANtic's Guide: Hundreds of creative tips
for a lifetime of love..
Sign up for his FREE relationship tips newsletter
by sending a blank e-mail to: E-Mail
or visit www.TheRomantic.com
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