Secrets of
Blissful Relationships

 

August
Love, Marriage and Sex


The other day a friend was sharing with Athena and me that when their first son was born they were so excited at the new adventure that they did some things they later regretted. One of those things was to begin feeding him solid foods when he was only two months old. Practically every authority recommends that you wait until a baby is at least five or six months until they begin eating foods. Their digestive systems aren't typically mature enough to handle solids and you greatly increase a child's chance of having allergies and other problems if you introduce food too soon. 

Now here is some advice many of you probably don't want to hear about what you shouldn't do early on in your relationship and I'll probably get a lot of nasty mail because of it (read some of the feedback at http://www.theromantic.com/JustBetween/feedback.htm ). But I don't write this column to be popular. I write it to help people have blissful relationships.

If you want to have a blissful relationship, don't ruin the chances by introducing things into your relationship until you are ready for it. 

I'm constantly bewildered when people can't figure out why they keep having failed relationships when they muddle them with physical intimacy. It's fairly common for couples to kiss on their first date, begin caressing soon afterwards and start a sexual relationship within a few weeks or months of knowing each other.

While I'm not going to tell you how long you should wait to begin kissing, hugging and making non-sexual contact, I'm going to boldl state that our bodies and minds are not designed for sexual relationships until marriage. The two go hand and hand and to try to separate them causes a lot of emotional turmoil in our relationships.

The average American has ten sexual partners before they are married. They either think each partner is *the one* or they think sex is so wonderful they don't want to miss out on the opportunity. Sex is indeed wonderful and very special and saving it for the wedding night is treating it as something special. Sharing it with practically everyone you date makes it rather ordinary.  

Here are just a few of the emotional problems premarital sex can cause: When you sleep with someone you aren't married to, they begin to wonder how many other people you have slept with. 

If you are willing to have sex with someone you aren't married to, will you feel the same after you are married?

One has a tendency to compare themselves with their mate's previous conquests. 

Since sexual relationships were designed for married couples, your mind naturally begins pushing the relationship further along than where you might be. You might not even know the person you are sleeping with but you start forming an emotional attachment to them. Many couples who really shouldn't be together are married because a premarital sexual relationship *bonded* them together when they wouldn't have bonded without being physically intimate.

I've talked with quite a few people who waited to begin a sexual relationship until they were married and NONE of them have regretted it. I've chatted with numerous people who began a sexual relationship before the wedding and PRACTICALLY ALL of them had regrets.

While waiting to have sex until you are married won't guarantee a blissful relationship, it will certainly cause your mate to honor and respect you much more than if you didn't.

Love, marriage and sex -- let's keep them in that order. 

Something to think about..

©2009, Michael Webb

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Romance is a love affair in other than domestic surroundings. - Walter Raleigh

Michael Webb is a world renowned relationship and romance expert having appeared on over 400 radio and television shows. He and his wife have been blissfully married for over 10 years. He is the best-selling author of The RoMANtic's Guide: Hundreds of creative tips for a lifetime of love.. Sign up for his FREE relationship tips newsletter by sending a blank e-mail to: E-Mail or visit www.TheRomantic.com or E-Mail



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