The Guide to
Getting It On

 

August
Vaginal farts


Dear Readers, What follows is my correspondence with a reader who asked a simple question. I turn to you and your experience to help further the discussion. Please email me your input at www.goofyfootpress.com (click on the cover of the Guide, hit the "contact us" button). I'll print your answers next week.

Dear Paul,

My girlfriend is capable of the most amazing vaginal farts. Up until 3 months ago, I had only heard rumors of this phenomonon (check that spelling!). I read the info on this in your book, but would love to know more. Any leads?

Windy

Dear Windy,

Thanks for your email regarding your girlfriend with the acoustical crotch. Could you please describe the situation a little more for me... for instance, does it mainly happen during intercourse, and if so, are there certain positions or times when it happens?

As for the question of "phonomonon," the spelling would be "phenomenon." You did, use the correct singular form "phenomenon," which is better than myself who often slips up and says "phenomena."

Paul

Dear Paul,

Holy cow, I never expected such a detailed (and timely) response, but I am thrilled, partly by your fascination with grammar. I also try to be well-versed, but there is something about the computer that makes you fire first and ask questions later--sort of like sex!

Anyhow, here is a short history: new girlfriend, going down on her the first time, and she (while coming) farts in my face. Vaginally, of course. Since then, I know for sure if she is coming (or close too) by the amount of air that is expelled from her insides. Plus, there is a definite sucking sound before the farting sound. Only makes sense. She farts while masturbating, when I manipulate her, and (especially), when I enter her from behind. Then, I can pull all the way out, hear a sucking sound, and control the farting noise as I enter her. I'm sure she's been making these noises for as long as she's been playing with herself. She is not embarrassed (not that she should be) and some of her expulsions are quite impressive. My most telling experience was when she was on all fours, and I was massaging her mons with 2 fingers inside her. I could feel her insides swell, almost like a balloon, with lots of space inside, and then collapse onto my fingers, tight, like a mouth sucking. The hollow I felt inside her was like nothing I had ever felt before. She is otherwise very snug and firm, all around.

Windy

Dear Windy,

Your last three sentences seem to describe the phenomenon perfectly. I've read speculation that the sucking is part of an attempt to pull in sperm, or one of the body's "knock me up now" aids. I'm sure there are other answers as well. I'm asking our readers to send in their own experiences with what you are describing.

©2007 by Paul Joannides

Related Issues: Talking With Kids About Tough Issues, Relationship, Sexuality
Books:
Relationship, Sexuality

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In America, sex is an obsession, in other parts of the world it is a fact. - Marlene Dietrich

Paul Joannides is the author of the Guide To Getting It On!--the Universe's Coolest and Most Informative Book On Sex. You can contact him at www.goofyfootpress.com by clicking on the cover of the Guide that appears on his web site. All columns are the property of Paul Joannides and Goofy Foot Press



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