The Guide to
Getting It On


Tears on the tip of his foreskin

Dear Paul,

My boyfriend and I were having a LONG (2 hour) night of passion and the next morning he informed me that he had small tears on the tip of his foreskin. He enjoys it when I contract my vaginal muscles as he thrusts...could this be the cause? I Don't want to hurt him, do you have any suggestions on how to prevent this? He doesn't seem to have any problems fully retracting his foreskin.

All Night Long in Atlanta,

Dear All Night,

I wish I could say that I'd had your boyfriend's problem and could totally relate... But two hours of intercourse is like an intercontinental flight compared to my own puddle jumper.

Since I had no choice in the matter of losing my own foreskin, I referred your question to Tim Hammond at, an internet site for an organization that is opposed to circumcision. I also sent it to a couple of other sources, but Tim's answer was the only one that seemed helpful. Please be aware that neither of us are physicians, and if the tearing you describe keeps happening, your boyfriend should consult a foreskin-friendly urologist.

Here's what Tim had to say:

"The gentleman's problem with tearing of the foreskin is likely due to insufficient lubrication - or could very well be caused by his partner's contraction techniques when he thrusts inward. Insufficient lubrication can also cause tears on a circumcised penis."

No matter how wet you might be getting naturally, why not experiment with different kinds of store-bought lubrication? Be sure to use water-based lubes, and if the lube starts to dry out, add a couple of drops of water or saliva instead of adding more lube. You can keep a squirt gun by the bed for this very purpose--the kind that squirts water as opposed to the kind that nature provided us guys with between our legs--and shoot a little water down there every so often to help keep the store-bought lube hydrated. (Be sure to empty your gun every couple of days, along with his, so it won't start growing moss inside.)

As for brands to recommend, I'd suggest starting with something cheap and basic, like KY, and if that doesn't work, there are a lot of "personal lubricants" on the market, each more spendy than the next.

I also wonder if wearing a condom might not help, and if your partner does, be sure that he uses store-bought lube. You'd be amazed at how much a few drops of lube can help any couple who is using a condom, no matter how wet the woman gets.

This also brings up the question of whether a guy who is not circumcised should retract his foreskin before putting on a condom. The condom makers tell you yes, but I recently received a note from a uncut reader who said he prefers not to retract his foreskin when putting on a condom. Otherwise, the condom material interferes with his foreskin's attempt to retract on the "out" part of the old "in-out".

I'm always happy to hear from our uncircumcised readers on this. You can reach me at , click on the cover of the Guide To Getting It On! and work your way to the Naked Truth.

©2007 by Paul Joannides

Related Issues: Talking With Kids About Tough Issues, Relationship, Sexuality
Relationship, Sexuality

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Paul Joannides is the author of the Guide To Getting It On!--the Universe's Coolest and Most Informative Book On Sex. You can contact him at by clicking on the cover of the Guide that appears on his web site. All columns are the property of Paul Joannides and Goofy Foot Press

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