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Moving from "Hand-Holding" to Sex
Hey Ron and David,
How can I go from hand-holding to something more
intense? I find I can get to the point where I'm
sitting on the couch with a woman, watching a movie
and holding hands. But what next?
--Stuck
Dear Stuck,
You've heard the saying that "God is in the
details"? Well, so is sex, as it turns out. If you
can bring exquisite, detailed attention to even a
tiny part of her body, she'll go nuts for more. The
mistake most men make is they want to move on to
something big, and fast
To advance hand-holding to something more, you
have to focus on being small and
slow.
This means slowly caressing the palm of her
hand, or touching your fingertips to hers, and
really bringing your attention to the feeling of
the sensation. Or you might just lightly stroke the
inside of her wrist. You do this to draw her
attention to the subtleties of the touch you are
sharing. Also, take your time with it. Most of our
students are afraid that if they don't rush sexual
interactions, sex will never happen. But it turns
out the opposite is true. If you show that you are
really willing to give her detailed, attentive
touching, and that you aren't pushing things, it
will very often draw her towards you. Also, if you
are willing to show that you have some faith that
sex with happen--you show this by not pushing
things too hard, too fast--you will also be very
attractive to her, and not like all the boneheads
guys who either 1) be "friends" by showing no
interest at all or 2) be "jerks" by trying to push
or bamboozle her for sex.
You may also want to hold eye contact while you
are doing this touching. Don't force it; if she
turns to look at you, hold her gaze. Be willing to
really look into her eyes, and to have her look
into yours. Show her you are willing to hold that
intimate contact. She'll probably be looking to you
for whether it's okay or not to connect so
strongly, so let yourself believe that it's
okay--don't wait for her to believe it's fine
before you do.
This it's a good time to comment on the energy
between you. Commenting on the energy draws her
attention to it, without it seeming like you are
forcing anything. Saying, "Wow, this energy between
us is really amazing," can do a lot to intensify
her awareness and acceptance of that energy. If she
says, "Yes, it really feels great," that's when you
might want to kiss her. You can either slowly lean
in and kiss her without saying anything, or use the
"announce" method, and say something like, "Don't
panic, I'm going to kiss you now."
Commenting on the energy is also a great test to
see whether she is ready for the first kiss, or
not. If she says, "Eh, I don't feel much energy,"
then you know to not bother trying to kiss her. If
she says, "Yes, I feel it and it really scares me,
I think we should slow things down," then you know
to back off for a while, until she is comfortable.
Often women will have some sort of problem at this
point to see how you will handle it: "Will he be
patient with me, or will be argue, pout, or be a
jerk?" Be patient, don't resist her resistance, and
go back to hand-holding. Move closer again
later.
These steps will help build the real energy and
intimacy between you, and open the gateway for more
contact.
© 2007, Mastery
Technologies, Inc.
Other Relationship Issues,
Books
* * *
We must try to trust one another. Stay and
cooperate. - Jomo Kenyatta
Ron
Louis and David Copeland are the authors of
How
to Succeed with
Women, The Sex
Lover's Book of Lists, and The Mastery
Program audio course. Send them those seduction
questions: questions@howtosucceedwithwomen.com
You're question may be used in the next newsletter!
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