Men stuff® has compiled information, books and resources on the issue of divorce and custody. Photo upper left Carole Patterson.
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Source: Postsecret.com
Newsbytes - News and information
Divorce Decree -
A Poem
Dos & Don'ts - Before,
During and After the Trial
Can a Spouse Quit Work Just Before and During
Divorce Proceedings?
Divorce Statistics
Divorce Facts . . . Divorce does
affect our children and their future . . .
Alternate Dispute Methods and Tools
Available in our Community
Divorce can be Deadly
The Effects of Divorce on
Children
Your first post-divorce
date
Australian Group
Urges "Don't be a Dad!"
Children & Divorce
What No One Tells the Groom - Some Legal Consequences of Marriage and Premarital Agreement
Father
Figures - A Different Perspective from Ms.
Magazine
12 Tried and True Rules for Dealing
with Your Ex after Divorce
Inconsistency Concerning
Consistency
Child Support
The Fair Way - Something New in Divorce
Mediation
Paying the Bills for Life
California Kids are Cheated by
Support
Your Tax Dollars at Work, Part
I
Your Tax Dollars at Work, Part
II
The Divorced Father's Quilt
The WriteConnection
Program
Custodial/Non-Custodial Parent Record
Keeper
Family Laws Grow in
California
Related issues: Talking With Kids
About Tough Issues, DNA Testing,
Divorce Terms
Books
Resources: Divorce,
Families,
Catalogues
(some provide lists of lawyers), Requests
for Help (See right sidebar.)
I want a divorce...
not from you,
but from the feelings I get
when you walk away
before I finish my sentence.
I want my freedom...
from the startled gasp I utter
when you erupt at the computer,
or rage at the screwdriver
for its poor design,
for not cooperating,
or breaking in your angry hands.
I want a separation...
from the deep heartache
that pushes tears through my eyes,
shut tight in the dark
against the sight of love's remains,
Late at night, I want to leave...
those feelings of being alone
right there beside you,
beside your fitful twitches and
grumbling snores, asleep, yet not at rest.
I want a divorce,
from the resignation that lines my face
creasing my girlish image of love
dulling the vibrant glow, now pale and wan.
I need to split
from the need
for my fantasy,
the partner I imagined you could become,
the expectations I invented
from seeds of lust,
mingled with hope and
heady romance.
I want to stay married,
to the silly jokes only we understand,
the friends we share,
the miraculous children born from our passion.
I want to live together,
as we watch our tiny girls bloom,
bound by the love we share for them,
the love that heals our ragged souls.
I want to keep my promise,
to honor you, my sweet,
and keep the sacred oath
to love you for the rest of my life.
To offer my caress at night
as friend and lover.
I want a divorce
from this need to prove I'm right,
and from my smoldering anger
whenever you raise your voice so urgently.
Perhaps you truly intend
it as an offering of help.
I want a separation
from judgments
fueling anger,
perhaps then I'll be free
to let patience and warmth
soothe this heart grown vacant and cool.
So, look not for legal papers
delivered by a stranger's deft hand.
They are not coming in the mail
to deliver the crushing blow
and end this battle
with words and terms.
I want a divorce...
from disdain and tears,
that I may offer you my smile
and feel it warm my face,
happy being free at last
and choosing to remain.
See more at www.Themestream.com/articles/167266.html
is the link to "After Ten Years" and wwwThemestream.com/articles/167107.html
linked
to "Love and Anger"
Canada
Total divorces granted: 78,226
Rate per 1,000 population: 2.7
Median age at divorce: Males: 38 Females: 36
Median duration of marriage: 10 years
Estimated number of dependent children involved in divorce:
36,252
Can a Spouse Quit Work Just Before and
During Divorce Proceedings?
Spousal support is usually ordered in situations where the marriage has lasted more than 10 years and there are children living at home. In situations where the marriage has been shorter, if requested, spousal support is usually awarded for 1/2 the period of time the couple were married. If the marriage was short, both spouses are employed, and there are no children, kiss the idea of spousal support good-bye (if not immediately, then in the very near future), unless one of the spouses is absolutely loaded and the other spouse has become accustomed to living the good life. Then, in reality, any prenuptual agreement would be binding or a "buy-out" settlement would be reached.
Spousal support can be awarded to either spouse who isn't employed or who has a history of sporadic employment (e.g., If Flor had actually divorced Harold, she would have had to pay him spousal support if he were to have asked for it. Although he made lots of money on occasion, he usually didn't make any, and Flo always had a stable, well-paying job, and obtained health insurance, etc., for the family through her employment).
Now, as far as someone quitting a job just before or just after filing for divorce. . . Under Family Code Section 4320, and under the case, In Re the Marriage of Gavron, a person has a reasonable period of time within which to find a job. "Reasonable" varies from situation to situation, depending on what the unemployed spouse does for a living, education, etc.; however, if that spouse does not make a good faith effort to find meaningful employment, the Court will impute an income to that spouse, and he/she will have to pay the support regardless of whether he/she is employed. The Court really, really frowns on people who try to fuck with the system.
Right on the back of the Judgment (Family Law) form (Form No. 1287), there is a little box that you can check that says, "NOTICE: It is the goal of this state that each party shall make reasonable good faith efforts to become self-supporting as provided for in Family Code Section 4320. The failure to make reasonable good faith efforts may be one of the factors considered by the court as a basis for modifying or terminating spousal support."
Of course, this is California law. Other states may differ, but there is a Uniform Family Law Act, and many of the states are now following the same rules.
(Editor: This has not be verified.) Statistically, men quit their jobs during this process FAR more often than women. Men seem to think that if they quit their jobs, they will not have to pay spousal or child support. I mean, there isn't "Deadbeat Mom" legislation, is there? (I know that there are mothers who, indeed, flake on child support, but the overwhelming majority of people who shirk their support obligations are men. That's just the way it is.) Men are usually the ones who want to maintain their power over their ex-spouse, and the way to do it is through money (gee, kind of like being married and a stay-at-home mom). They tend to be so blinded by their power that they fail to see how the children are being harmed in the process. (Editor: Here she is using raw numbers, since men obviously are the ones most often required to pay support. However, research shows that, of those required to pay support, there is a larger percentage of women who don't pay support than men who don't pay support. So, yes, there should be Dead Beat Mom legislation. But then, most states don't really care aboutr fairness (see this story.)
For your reading pleasure, I have pasted the text of Section 4320 below (along with the other sections that come right after it because that's how I copied it off the net). Oh, by the way, the website for the California Codes is www.leginfo.ca.gov, and I wouldn't be surprised if there's one for Oregon, too. It makes fascinating reading.
4320. In ordering spousal support under this part, the court shall consider all of the following circumstances:
(a) The extent to which the earning capacity of each party is sufficient to maintain the standard of living established during the marriage, taking into account all of the following:
(1) The marketable skills of the supported party; the job market for those skills; the time and expenses required for the supported party to acquire the appropriate education or training to develop those skills; and the possible need for retraining or education to acquire other, more marketable skills or employment.
(2) The extent to which the supported party's present or future earning capacity is impaired by periods of unemployment that were incurred during the marriage to permit the supported party to devote time to domestic duties.
(b) The extent to which the supported party contributed to the attainment of an education, training, a career position, or a license by the supporting party.
(c) The ability of the supporting party to pay spousal support, taking into account the supporting party's earning capacity, earned and unearned income, assets, and standard of living.
(d) The needs of each party based on the standard of living established during the marriage.
(e) The obligations and assets, including the separate property, of each party.
(f) The duration of the marriage.
(g) The ability of the supported party to engage in gainful employment without unduly interfering with the interests of dependent children in the custody of the party.
(h) The age and health of the parties.
(i) Documented evidence of any history of domestic violence, as defined in Section 6211, between the parties, including, but not limited to, consideration of emotional distress resulting from domestic violence perpetrated against the supported party by the supporting party, and consideration of any history of violence against the supporting party by the supported party.
(j) The immediate and specific tax consequences to each party.
(k) The balance of the hardships to each party.
(l) The goal that the supported party shall be self-supporting within a reasonable period of time. Except in the case of a marriage of long duration as described in Section 4336, a "reasonable period of time" for purposes of this section generally shall be one-half the length of the marriage. However, nothing in this section is intended to limit the court's discretion to order support for a greater or lesser length of time, based on any of the other factors listed in this section, Section 4336, and the circumstances of the parties.
(m) The criminal conviction of an abusive spouse shall be considered in making a reduction or elimination of a spousal support award in accordance with Section 4325.
(n) Any other factors the court determines are just and equitable.
4321. In a judgment of dissolution of marriage or legal separation of the parties, the court may deny support to a party out of the separate property of the other party in any of the following circumstances:
(a) The party has separate property, or is earning the party's own livelihood, or there is community property or quasi-community property sufficient to give the party proper support.
(b) The custody of the children has been awarded to the other party, who is supporting them.
4322. In an original or modification proceeding, where there are no children, and a party has or acquires a separate estate, including income from employment, sufficient for the party's proper support, no support shall be ordered or continued against the other party.
4323. (a) (1) Except as otherwise agreed to by the parties in writing, there is a rebuttable presumption, affecting the burden of proof, of decreased need for spousal support if the supported party is cohabiting with a person of the opposite sex. Upon a determination that circumstances have changed, the court may modify or terminate the spousal support as provided for in Chapter 6 (commencing with Section 3650) of Part 1.
(2) Holding oneself out to be the husband or wife of the person with whom one is cohabiting is not necessary to constitute cohabitation as the term is used in this subdivision.
(b) The income of a supporting spouse's subsequent spouse or nonmarital partner shall not be considered when determining or modifying spousal support.
(c) Nothing in this section precludes later modification or termination of spousal support on proof of change of circumstances.
4324. In addition to any other remedy authorized by law, when a spouse is convicted of attempting to murder the other spouse, as punishable pursuant to subdivision (a) of Section 664 of the Penal Code, the injured spouse shall be entitled to a prohibition of any temporary or permanent award for spousal support or medical, life, or other insurance benefits or payments from the injured spouse to the other spouse.
As used in this section, "injured spouse" means the spouse who has been the subject of the attempted murder for which the other spouse was convicted, whether or not actual physical injury occurred.
4325. (a) In any proceeding for dissolution of marriage where there is a criminal conviction for an act of domestic violence perpetrated by one spouse against the other spouse entered by the court within five years prior to the filing of the dissolution proceeding, or at any time thereafter, there shall be a rebuttable presumption affecting the burden of proof that any award of temporary or permanent spousal support to the abusive spouse otherwise awardable pursuant to the standards of this part should not be made.
(b) The court may consider documented evidence of a convicted spouse's history as a victim of domestic violence, as defined in Section 6211, perpetrated by the other spouse, or any other factors the court deems just and equitable, as conditions for rebutting this presumption.
(c) The rebuttable presumption created in this section may be
rebutted by a preponderance of the evidence.
Divorce Facts . . . Divorce does affect our children and their future . . .
Alternate Dispute Methods and Tools Available in our Community
Source: www.divorcechoice.com/alternatives.html
describes
each of these processes.
For most men, the best and often times only friend is their wife. They can't reach out to someone else in a difficult time, especially when faced with a tough situation with this best friend. The wife, on the other hand, usually has a number of friends who she shares information with and receives advice from long before you know there is any problem. Not only are you alone, but you're months if not years behind in her planning process. We have provided this information to help you start catching up. However, one of the best things you can do is network with men friends about what's going on, not only for emotional support, but for factual support as well - what to do in your specific case, who to retain, etc. Do not wait! Once the court makes a ruling on any one item, it is next to impossible to get that situation heard again. Do it right the first time! This usually means getting all the moral support you can muster plus retaining an excellent divorce lawyer.
DO: Admit to yourself you have a problem: How to obtain an
honorable divorce
DON'T: Move out of the house unless so ordered by a court (or
advised by a professional you respect)
DO: Close joint accounts and cancel credit cards.
DON'T: Forget that you, too, have constitutional rights
DO: Make sure your wife cannot obtain your business and
personal financial records. If you keep that information at home,
remove it to a more secure location,DON'T: Tell your children
horror stories about their mother: there is no need to make them trek
through the muck too
DO: Try for a reasonable out-of-court settlement if
possible
DON'T: Use your wife's lawyer.
DO: Contact various men's
rights/divorce-reform groups and consider joining them; ask their
advice on choosing an attorney.
DON'T: Be afraid to ask a potential lawyer for your case any
and all questions you want to ask.
DO: Get a lawyer who specializes in divorce. Attempt to
determine what their fees will be.
DON'T: Work with a lawyer who is defeatist about your chances
for some success.
DO: Make sure, if there are children, they understand that you
are not divorcing them.
DON'T: Leave all your friends behind and become a hermit.
DO: Keep a written record of all incidents pertinent to the
divorce: names, dates, etc.
DON'T: Discuss any proposed settlement with your wife and/or
her lawyer unless your lawyer is present.
DO: Rent a post-office box to receive correspondence that you
do not wish having your wife open or see.
DON'T: Avoid your children if you move out of the house, even
though you will probably be tested by them much of the time.
DO: Ask yourself which parent, in all honesty, would be better
for the children; ask yourself also if you have the psychological and
financial strength to go through a custody fight. While doing this,
don't assume that she is any better at being a parent merely because
she is a woman.
DON'T: Take your children with you if you leave home unless
you are absolutely sure you know what you are doing and what effect
it will have on them.
DO: Tone down your lifestyle during the divorce proceedings.
Don't entertain lavishly or travel extensively; cut down on purchases
of clothing and household goods. Judges usually away maintenance
payments based on a couple's standard of living before the divorce,
so the sooner you lower the standard, the less you may have to
pay.
DON'T: Rely on psychiatrists, psychologists or social workers
to support you once the case is scheduled for court; they are
reluctant witnesses in such a situation.
DO: Learn about the judges who might sit on your case. Ask for
a different judge if you are assigned one who seems prejudiced. (This
is where the picking of a god divorce lawyer comes in. Also, a good
divorce lawyer will probably know whom the lawyer who is working for
your wife will work.)
DON'T: Converse from anger. Either before, during or after the
trial.
DO: Consider having your divorce lawyer present if a
court-appointed social worker interviews your children.
DO: Attend all depositions, court sessions, etc., even if
your attorney tells you he has no need for you.
DON'T: Sign any decree or settlement until you understand
every word.
DO: Obtain and keep copies of transcripts of all
proceedings.
DON'T: Be afraid to change lawyers if your interests are not
being defended as you think they should be.
DO: Get specific visitation rights if you don't get custody,
joint custody or joint physical custody.
DON'T: Panic when, as is likely, the court awards your
former-wife custody of your children; remember how high the odds were
against you and realize that no institution, state or malicious
person can dictate your children's feelings about you; that is a
matter between you and your kids.
DO: Claim tax exemptions for the children you are
supporting.
DON'T: Agree to alimony unless there are exceptional
circumstances (a sick or aged wife, etc.).
DO: Keep a tab on your attorney's fees; also estimate your
wife's fees.
DON'T: Agree to child support based strictly on your income;
try to have the children's needs considered but nothing else.
DO: Take a reasonable settlement any time you can get it; just
because you have begun a court case does not mean you have to end
it.
DON'T: Agree to pay all medical expenses for the children, as
you could find incredible bills for not much illness; medical
insurance is another matter and is more logical.
DO: Fight with everything you have to keep the kids from
appearing in court.
DON'T: Be sloppy about wills, trusts and insurance; make sure
the beneficiaries are who you want them to be.
DO: Understand that you are undergoing a test that drives some
men to suicide; the anxiety you may feel is not abnormal or a sign of
weakness; the male is almost inevitably the underdog in divorce
court, and what you are feeling matches the facts.
DON'T: Discontinue paying child support even if your former
wife interferes with your visitation rights. They are two different
issues, in the eyes of the court, and you must keep focused on
positive steps to maintain visitation versus using revenge in
responding to her revenge tactics. (In most states, there are ways to
force court ordered visitation and, if your former wife denies
visitation, the information may be used to rehear the custody issue.
Usually, a former wife who interrupts, interferes or refuses
visitations is not acting in the best interest of the child.
DO: Fulfill your visitation rights and see your children
regularly. (As much as you possibly can or are allowed!)
DON'T: Review all the details of the divorce with your
children.
DO: Obey the divorce agreement, even if your former-wife
violates it; continue to pay child support if she denies you
visitation. You want a solid case should you have to go back to
court.
DON'T: Be afraid to socialize; you are not a leper; you are
simply a divorced male, and you have a lot of brothers who have been
through the same thing.
DO: Avoid contact with your former-wife as much as you can
unless you can develop a very amiable relationship and become
friends. It is valuable for children and their friends to see that
parents don't need to become enemies during or after a divorce, but
can separate and yet be very civil to and around each other.
DON'T: Be overly possessive of your children; they, too, need
time to adjust to the new situation.
DO: Keep a complete record of all the financial support you
give your children. Keep all correspondence relating to the divorce,
in case you have to return to court. Don't pay in cash. Check out the
Custodial/Non-Custodial Parent Record Keeper by Janice Todd. Cope
More, 2626 F Coffee Rd, Ste 200, Modesto, CA 95355.
DON'T: Use your children as spies to find about things about
their mother.
DO: Forgive yourself for mistakes you have made and go on to
lead the best life you can; fight off sentimentality when dealing
with your children and confront them as a man who has self-respect
and who has made the best of a bad situation.
In the U.S. during 1990, only 58% of children lived with two biological parents, although more than 79% lived in two-parent households. Most of the remaining children lived in a variety of other types of households headed by one or more adults. Whatever his or her family structure, a child has the best opportunity to thrive only when the household provides a loving, nurturing, stable and protective environment.
Divorce receives a great deal of attention in the professional and academic literature as well as in other media. Our goal is not to repeat this literature, but rather to highlight key issues in divorce that are particularly significant for the well-being of children. These issues include the actual process of divorce, custody and visitation decisions, ad the financial support of children following divorce. However, it is important first to appreciate the dimensions of divorce in this nation: how many children are affected by divorce, who they are, what living arrangements are made for them, and how these arrangements relate to other major trends in domestic situations for children. It is also helpful to put this problem in historic perspective. And of great import is the need to appreciate what is known and not known about the impact of divorce itself on the psychological and emotional development of children.
About 26% of all children under 18 years of age (17 million) live with a divorced parent, a separated parent, or a stepparent, according to 1988 data summarized by Shiono & Quinn. In 1990, about 9.5% of all children (6 million) were living with a divorced single parent. In comparison, 7.7% (4.9 million) were living with a single, never-married parent. About 90% of these single parents are mothers. Generally, when single-parent families are compared by race, significantly higher proportions of white children are found to be living with divorce or separated mothers, and African-American children are found to be living with never-married mothers.
The trends in marriage, divorce, remarriage, and out-of-wedlock births which have resulted in these living arrangements for children are analyzed and discussed in the articles by Shiono & Quinn. Since the mid 1940s, annual first-marriage rates have declined from about 14% to about 7% of single women. In addition, between the 1960s and 1980s, the proportion of women marrying after becoming pregnant declined by about 50%, and the number of unmarried couples living in the same household increased fourfold. In general, women today are marrying at older ages, and African-American women are less likely to marry than white women.
Divorce rates have been increasing since the 1860s (about 10 per 1,000 married women per year), although there have been considerable fluctuations over the decades. There was a peak after World War II (24 per 1000) followed by a trough in the 1950s (15 per 1000). Through the 1970s, the rates rose dramatically to reach an all-time high of 40 per 1000. Divorce rates have leveled off since the late 1980s (37 per 1000 in 188); however, at least 40% of young adult women today are likely to divorce sometime in their lives. An increase in divorce rates during the early years of marriage has resulted in a higher proportion of divorces occurring among parents with young children. Many believe the increased employment of married women outside the home as been significant concomitant societal change related to the divorce rate. This relationship is probably not a causal one in which either divorce or employment outside the home as caused the other, but rather a complex one in which both employment and divorce are influenced by an entire spectrum of social changes as well as by each other. The rate of employment of married women with preschool children has been particularly noteworthy; it rose from 11% in 1949 to 58% in 1988. Economic stress and deprivation also increase the risk of divorce.
Remarriage and the resulting restructured family have important consequences for many children. In the late 1960s, remarriage rates soared to an all-time high. Sixth percent of white women whose marriage ended in divorce between 1965 and 1984 had remarried by 1988. This was almost twice the rate occurring among divorced African-American women. Today, at least 30% of young adult women who divorce are likely to remarry. In general, young women are more likely to remarry than older women, although this age differential does not occur among divorced men. During the first few years of remarriage, the risk of divorce is increased over that of first marriages.
Similar trends in marriage, divorce, remarriage, and cohabitation have occurred in many population subgroups in this country and Western Europe, although there are some important quantitative differences. Hypotheses for the changing marriage patterns include the breakdown of the traditional gender-based division of labor where men work outside the home for wages and women specialize in domestic activity; the enhanced opportunity for women who enter the labor market to exercise the individual choice and personal freedom so valued in our society; the "sexual revolution" with increased availability of ways to prevent contraception and terminate pregnancy; and changes in the divorce law.
Given that more than a quarter of all children in the U.S. have experienced the divorce or separation of their parents and that, at current divorce rates, this proportion is expected to grow to 40%, careful attention must be given to the direct effects of divorce on children. Perhaps the most obvious effects are changes in children's living situations and economic status. In 1991, 39% of divorce women with children lived in poverty, and 55% of those with children under six years of age were poor. In this same year, the poverty rate of all children was 22%. There is also related and crucial concern about the effects of divorce on children's emotional and psychological well-being, and on their successful development and transition to adulthood.
Divorce and events related to divorce, including marital conflict and separation, are almost universally very stressful events in the life of a child. Most children exhibit a variety of signs of disturbance in the months after the separation, including anxiety, sadness, anger, aggression, non-compliance, sleep disturbances, and disrupted concentration at school. The length of this initial period of distress varies from child to child. Most children adapt reasonably successfully after this initial period, and most apparently evidence no long-term ill effects. However, children who experience divorce, as compared with children in continuously intact two-parent families, are at somewhat greater risk for symptoms of psychological maladjustment, behavior, and social problems, negative self-image, and low academic achievement. Similarly, when comparing these two groups as adults, those adults who experienced parental divorce as children are more likely to evidence poorer psychological adjustment, lower socioeconomic attainment, and greater marital instability. However, the differences between the two groups, either as children or as adults, with respect to these untoward effects seem, in light of current research, to be small.
Further, there is considerable variation in each individual child's reaction to divorce: an affected child's psychological well-being can range from poorer to better than it was before divorce. Variables that are believed to account for children's adjustment to divorce include the amount and nature of involvement of the non-custodial parent, the custodial parent's adjustment to divorce and his or her parenting skills, interparental conflict before and after divorce, economic hardship and other life stresses (for example, moving, changing schools, parental remarriage). Little is known about how these factors interact to affect a child's response to divorce, what the variations are in the response to divorce among children of different ethnic and racial backgrounds, what the long-term effects are on individual children, and how various legal and therapeutic interventions influence the outcomes for children.
Knowledge about the effects of marital conflict and divorce on children is limited by both the quantity and quality of available research. It is difficult to design and carry out research projects involving these families. Long-term follow-up studies are especially problematic. Further, there is a paucity of funding for such investigations.
Although many children adjust well to divorce without the need for therapeutic intervention, a minority have significant adjustment problems which warrant counseling. Interparental conflict after divorce (characterized by verbal and physical aggression, overt hostility, and distrust) and a high level of custodial parent emotional distress place children at high risk for emotional and behavioral maladjustment and disturbed parent-child relationships. In general, evaluations of therapeutic intervention programs for children having adjustment problems related primarily to divorce have been favorable, although only a small number of studies are available. There is need for more research to improve the efficacy of treatment of these children.
Marriage and the Process of Divorce
The trends in divorce law, division of labor between husband and wife in marriage, the family's right to privacy, and the family's responsibility for children have hanged significantly over the past four decades. Laws and public policy relating to marriage and divorce, reflecting some of these changes, have gradually moved away from the concept of marriage as a state-sanctioned, husband-dominated, hierarchical institution, toward the view of marriage as an economic partnership of autonomous individuals, although not necessarily of equals. Under the earlier concept, a divorce was granted only after an often adversarial adjudication to find one party at fault for having done something wrong during the marriage, such as being cruel or adulterous. All 50 states have now enacted some changes in divorce laws to incorporate the more recent concept, that is, over the past 40 years, states have generally expanded the groups for divorce and simplified the process of terminating a marriage. Most states now grant "no-fault" divorces, but only a few states have entirely done away with fault as a basis for divorce.
There is controversy about some of the effects of these widespread changes in divorce laws. To the degree that no-fault divorce has decreased the acrimony and hostility has decreased the acrimony and hostility between spouses, as is generally believed to be the case, children have benefited. There is, however, a difference of opinion as to whether laws permitting no-fault divorce have increased the divorce rate. The advent of no-fault divorce legislation is associated with increased divorce rates in some states but not in others. However, an increase in marital disruption preceded the change in public opinion favoring more liberal divorce laws, and the laws enacted were, in part, a response to public demand and also may have engendered some demand for divorce.
Much of the current emphasis in divorce laws is on defining the marital assets and determining how they should be distributed to the economic partners of the shared enterprise of marriage when it is terminated. Changes in statutory law have, to a certain extent, limited judicial discretion as to this distribution and given more consideration to the noncash contributions of wives and to the financial needs of children. Although there is difference of opinion as to whether no-fault divorce systematically favors one spouse over the other, there is no question that, despite changes in the law, divorce itself has greater negative social and financial effects on women than on men
The increased demand for and availability of divorce have focused attention on the dramatic rise in the financial costs of divorce and some of the serious limitations of terminating a family relationship in a court setting using a judicially managed adversarial process. Alternatives to traditional divorce proceedings include summary dissolution (where children are not involved) and simplified divorce procedures (also called summary process or divorce by mutual consent). These streamlined procedures are being used in a few states because they are more expeditious and less costly for both the parties and the court system than traditional divorce procedures.
Divorce through mediation is another alternative for making decisions about property division, spousal maintenance (alimony), child support and custody. Most states have laws encouraging or requiring mediation to resolve conflicts over child custody and visitation rights. The advantages of mediation over adversarial proceedings are lower costs ad, what s more important, the direct involvement of the parties speaking for themselves and actively participating in the decisions affecting children for whom they share concern. However, unfair agreements can result if spouses possess unequal bargaining or negotiating power or skills. All of these alternatives to an adversarial divorce proceeding deserve critical evaluation. Unfortunately, little research on these issues is currently available.
Of primary importance, there is need for education about divorce.
Parents need to be educated about the effects of family conflict on
children. They need a range of educational and meditational services
to diminish rather than escalate conflicts, to focus on what is best
for their children at various developmental stages, and to increase
the change for mutual agreement between parents about custody,
visitation, and the financial arrangements for their children.
Educational and meditational services should be available to prevent
divorce. Not only parents, but judges, lawyers, and mediators
involved in determining the best interest of a child need a better
appreciation of child development, including information about
attachment, separation anxiety, the importance of continuity and
nurturing relationship s between children and adults, and the needs
of children during and after divorce. The costs of education about
divorce need to be planned for and funded.
Because of well-being of a child is critically dependent on parenting received from adults throughout childhood, the issues of custody and of continuing relationships with the noncustodial parent after divorce are of paramount importance. Historically in the US, custody decisions by colonial courts, following English legal doctrines, were based on a strong paternal preference. This gradually changed over time. By the 1920s, a strong maternal preference was the presumption of which custody decisions were made, and this has continued for many decades.
This shift in preference to the mother reflected and was reinforced by a number of societal changes. These included a gender-based division of family responsibilities in which the father was viewed as the wage earner and the mother was viewed as the child nurturer, primarily as a consequence of the industrial revolution, which caused fathers to seek work away from home; an improvement in the legal status of women; psychoanalytic theory arguing for the unique role of a mother as love object; and research on the development of infant attachment to mothers.
The maternal presumptions for custody remained firm until the 1960s and 1970s when there began a transition to gender-neutral laws. This change was influenced by the entry of large numbers of women into the work force, the gradual realignment of some gender roles within the family, the increased divorce rate; fathers' claims of sex discrimination in custody decisions, the feminist movement, and psychological research on the importance of a child's attachment to both parents and the father's continuing contribution to his child's development. The idea of basing custody decisions on the child's needs and interests is a relatively new one that emerged about 20 years ago and eventually became embodied in the "best interests" of the child standard. Subsequently, support for the related idea of awarding joint custody, to both parents evolved rapidly so that, by 1991, almost all states had recognized this latter concept in some form.
The prevailing standard for courts to determine custody is the "best interests of the child." We concur that it is the most appropriate legal standard for making decisions in custody disputes because it is "centered on children's developmental and psychological needs rather than parental demands, societal stereotypes, or legal tradition." Under this standard, there is a case-by-case determination of the best way to meet the unique needs of each child. This process is also potentially responsive to changing social or legal trends outside custody law. For courts to make the best custody judgment with respect to the child's needs, this standard should employ multiple variables about the family, such as information about the loving and emotional relationships between parents and child, information about the parents' mental and physical health, the child's age and developmental stage, and the pattern and quality of the primary caretaking arrangements. Unfortunately, this approach can result in a lack of uniformity from one case to the next about the weight given to these different variables and how to take into account children's changing developmental needs. However, on balance, the advantages of using "the best interests of the child" standard appear to outweigh the disadvantages of relying on a single more uniform standard such as a determination of the "primary caretaker" during the marriage
Exactly what custody arrangements are being decided upon and implemented in divorce decrees is difficult to determine nationally because of considerable variation in definition of legal, physical, and joint custody among the states and difficulty in collecting data from individual divorce decrees. Joint legal and sole maternal physical custody is probably the most common legal arrangement, followed by awarding sole legal and physical custody to the mother. Only 10 to 15% of divorced fathers have their children living with them more than half of the time. Thus, mothers continue to be primarily responsible for their children during marriage and after divorce, although shared physical custody arrangements and paternal visitation time are increasing.
The majority of these arrangements are made by private agreement between parents when parents are unable to agree on their own, and non adversarial mediation is increasingly being utilized. Research does not support the concern of some commentators that mothers are systematically disadvantaged in such forums. Mediation has significantly reduced the use of adversarial proceedings with their high financial costs and often substantial disruption of the lives of the children and parents. At whatever level custody decisions are made, they are subject to powerful statutory, judicial, cultural, educational, and research influences. Efforts to educate parents, attorneys, and judges about the impact of divorce and conflict on children and the needs of children for continuity in the relationships with fathers and mothers should be priorities, even though the effectiveness of such efforts is unknown.
As mentioned, access of the noncustodial parent, usually the father, to the children through visitation has increased over the past two decades. Although no general relationship has been found between visit frequency and lack of the adjustment problems of children to divorce in the near term, some studies suggest that continued involvement of fathers with their children after divorce is beneficial to the children under certain circumstances. There is in addition, a definite economic advantage to continued paternal involvement as it is associated with an increased likelihood of payment of child support. More research, however, s needed on the long-term effects of children of continuing contact with the noncustodial parent.
After the divorce decree and custody award are final, modifications of child custody and visitation arrangements are sometimes needed to adapt to the changing circumstances of parents, and to the changing developmental needs of children, including their own wishes. Adjustments to custody and visitation arrangements should be able to be made in a timely and inexpensive manner. Custody and visitation arrangements are obviously in the best interest of children when they facilitate effective co-parenting.
Mediation should be widely available and mandatory, with certain exceptions, as the initial step for all parents disputing or modifying child custody and access arrangements before continuing adversarial proceedings, but settlement of the disputes via mediation should not be mandatory. Mediation results in 50 to 75% settlement rates, and the costs are substantially less than with litigation. Those who mediate are more likely to reach an agreement than those who do not mediate (which, in part, reflects self-selection), and both parents are more likely to be satisfied with the agreement than those who litigate. However, exceptions to required mediation are need for those who are unable or afraid to negotiate on their own behalf, such as women subjected to or at risk of domestic violence, families in which there has been child neglect or abuse, parents who are substance abusers, and parents who are mentally incapacitated. Racial, ethnic, cultural and socioeconomic factors also need to be taken into consideration in structuring fair and effective mediation policies, procedures, and safeguards. Further, mediators (including attorneys) need special training and experience in divorce and custody matters, in assessing domestic violence, and in the process of mediation itself.
Mediation up to this point has not generally, been available to resolve the financial disputes of divorce,with most states requiring that financial matters be settled in a separate proceeding. However, with the adoption of federal guidelines for child support by states, the custody and financial conflicts become more closely linked. These guidelines also reduce the potential for bargaining inequities in which women may feel the need to reduce their child support demands to avoid losing custody. Simple support matters might also lend themselves most appropriately to the mediation process.
Types of Custody Arrangements:
1. Sole Custody
2. Joint Custody
3. Divided Custody - Each parent has child for a portion of the year or in alternating years. Each parent has legal rights for decision making when child is in that parent's care.
4. Split Custody - Each parent has sole legal and physical custody of one or more children; noncustodial parent has visitation rights.
Financial Consequences of Divorce and the
Support of Children
The primary social and financial responsibility for children in the US rests with parents. In marriage or cohabitation, it is assumed that total family income, at whatever level, will be shared in a manner that at least provides for the basic needs of children. This is fundamentally a private matter except when there is child neglect or resources are transferred to the family through public programs. After divorce, initially the same income must be used to pay for the greater fixed costs of maintaining two households as well as legal, relocation, and other expenses related to family dissolution. Further, the basic dynamic of meeting the changing financial needs of children from the income of custodial and noncustodial parents is different than in marriage, and the state becomes significantly involved int he relationship between these parents and children in a variety of ways.
Divorce results in a significant decline in the income of women compared with that of men after divorce. However, there is some improvement in the economic well-being of divorced women if remarriage occurs relative to the divorced state. Family income after divorce drops on the average buy more than 20% and, as previously indicated, a substantial number of divorce women with custody of children live in poverty (39%). Poverty is not only more prevalent in these families, but it starts immediately after marital disruption, and it lasts longer than for two-parent families living in poverty
The substantial increase in the percentage of mother-child families living below the poverty line following divorce results, in part, from the fact that a large fraction of these families were close to the poverty line as intact families before divorce. This situation occurs in a larger proportion of African-American families because they generally have lower income levels.
Conversely, in single-parent families, the substantial increase in family income with remarriage is immediate and significantly reduces the incidence of poverty. The current trend of lower remarriage rates probably increases the duration of poverty, but the countervailing trend for increased cohabitation of unmarried parents may decrease the poverty rate.
Employment of divorced mothers may not be an effective buffer against economic deprivation. The number of mothers with children who are employed outside the home increases after divorce, but the average amount they earn declines, although it constitutes about 60% of women's postdivorce income. Over time the proportion of these working mothers declines to just above what it was before marriage disruption. This decline is probably the result of a number of factors, including lack of prior continuous work experience; employment in low-status and part-time jobs, usually without career advancement opportunities; low wages; discrimination against single mothers in the workplace; the costs and constraints of child care; and the availability of public assistance benefits, especially those that erode with earned income.
Public assistance plays a substantial role in the financial well-being of divorced women and children. Immediately following divorce, the number of children living in families receiving public assistance through the Aid to Families with Dependent Children (AFDC) program doubles and the number receiving food stamps triples. These numbers continue to increase slightly over time. The proportion of average family income constituted by these benefits increases from 18% before divorce to 25-30% after divorce. These benefits go to those most in need. Mothers in the lowest third of the income distribution before divorce are 18 times more likely to receive these benefits after divorce than those in e highest third of income distribution before divorce.
Taken together, the major cash (such as AFDC and earned income tax credits) and noncash (such as food stamps, Medicaid, and housing subsidies) public assistance programs are critical to decreasing the effects of poverty on divorced women who are awarded child custody, although many of these families remain in poverty even after these benefits are taken into account. However, these pogroms were not intended to provide long-term support for raising children. They are based on the premise that this responsibility remains with both parents. Thus, child support from the noncustodial father is central to maintaining the financial status of children after divorce and also has a significant effect on welfare costs.
Historically, state laws have established the responsibility of the noncustodial parent to provide child support under general guidelines of reasonableness, delegating the implementation to local courts. State court judges were given considerable discretion in determining what constituted an adequate amount of money for noncustodial child support and in approving the support settlements negotiated by the parties' lawyers. These private agreements were usually approved. The rules which judges developed focused on the needs of the child and on the ability of the noncustodial parent to pay. However, the application of these rules and the exercise of judicial discretion resulted in considerable variation in the awards from case to case, even given similar family circumstances. Furthermore, these awards have generally been regarded as inadequate to cover a fair share of the reasonable costs of raising the children.
In contrast to this traditional approach to child support, as a result of federal legislation passed in 1984 and 1988, court-ordered child support awards over the past decade have had to conform to standardized numerical formula guidelines or judges have had to provide appropriate reasons for deviation from the standards.
This federal legislation was enacted, in part, to have more child support (including available medical insurance) provided by the noncustodial parent, usually the father, and to contain the growing costs of the AFDC program. The states were required to adopt a numerical formula guideline to determine the amount of child support awarded as a condition for receiving federal funds for their AFDC programs and were authorized to initiate automatic wage withholding for AFDC cases. States were also authorized to withhold wages of noncustodial parents to provide child support in non-AFDC cases starting in 1994.
Almost all of the states have adopted variants of one or two approaches for income sharing between custodial and noncustodial parents to support their children: either the income shares formula or the percentage of income formula. Issues which receive special attention are the inclusion of actual child care costs in support awards; the provision for ordinary and extraordinary medical care expenditures; the treatment of higher education costs; the way in which child support orders are updated for changing child needs and parental income; the ways in which remarriage and multiple support obligations are taken into account; and the effect of dual residence on child support obligations.
Even with the implementation of federal guidelines for determining awards, substantial problems persist. Child support awards continue to be small, much less than the reasonable costs of child rearing and the pattern of payments is often irregular. The average amount of support received by divorced mothers in 19899 was $3,138 per years for a family with an average of slightly more than 1.5 children. In addition, the receipt of support payments declines over time. Further, a large proportion (28%) of divorced mothers do not have a child support award at all. Of the 72% who do have awards, 25% do not receive any payment. Nevertheless, the receipt of child support payments, even at a low level, can make a significant difference in the economic well-being of divorced low-income mothers with children. In 1989, although child support payments represented 17% of the total income of all divorced mothers who received them, they made up 38% of the total income of divorced mothers and children living in poverty because of their low income.
Research to determine how much child support absent fathers can reasonably afford to pay suggests they can afford three to four times the amounts they are currently paying or two to three times what they are currently obligated to pay under child support awards. If this increase were received by custodial parents, children would be benefited economically and, possibly, by the absent father's increased involvement in their lives. However, a substantial reduction in welfare cost would not necessarily result because payments would not be distributed equally among divorced mothers; those at higher income levels are more likely to receive a greater proportion of the increased payments.
All mothers, whether divorced or never married, who have custody of their children may be awarded child support. However, about 42% of all custodial mothers and 56% of all poor custodial mothers are not awarded child support. The reasons for the absence of awards are varied and include a mother's decision not to pursue an award, often to get custody without dispute; privately arranged settlements for support; inability to establish paternity or locate the known father; and the inability of the father to pay or the mother to afford the costs of legal proceedings to enforce awards. Marital status is the most important factor in being awarded child support; as noted above, 72% of mothers who were married received child support awards on divorce while only 24% of never-married mothers receive support awards from their children's biological father. However, having a court-ordered award, which is an important determination in obtaining payment from many fathers, does not guarantee payment. Payment compliance, which is not public and somewhat insulated from normative and legal pressures, is highly dependent on the father's motivation and ability to pay. There are a number of additional factors that have a significant influence on mothers' obtaining awards and receiving payment. The children of low-income women, whether divorced or never married, are especially disadvantaged under the present system of obtaining support from a noncustodial father.
The enforcement of child support award orders presents additional problems such as locating the noncustodial parent, serving legal papers on the parent, scheduling timely hearings, undertaking discovery, obtaining and implementing health insurance orders, and collecting arrears in payments. The inadequacies of the current enforcement system have obvious serious consequences for the specific children who would have been the immediate beneficiaries of the awards that are not paid. They also have broader policy implications by contributing to the increasing number of children who live in poverty and the untoward effect of this trend on our society?
There are very specific recommendations to strengthen some aspects of the state system and suggests complementary federal responsibilities. A number of these changes could be beneficial. At the state level, these include offering parents easy means to routinely establish paternity of newborn infants and children by voluntary agreement; streamlining the legal processes for determining contested paternity at low cost, including the provision of appropriate genetic testing; developing a greater capacity to locate parents through access to federal records such as tax returns and a sharing of this database among all the states; having the states continue to be responsible for establishing and modifying custody, visitation, and child support orders but requiring that a national guideline be used as a rebuttable presumption of the level of child support to be paid; and requiring states to deal with interstate cases under the Uniform Interstate Family Support Act (UIFSA) that has been approved by the National Conference of Commissioners on Uniform State Laws.
At the federal level, adopt a national guideline, percentage of income, to determine the economic contribution of the noncustodial parent because of its basic fairness and ease of administration and because it does not create work disincentives. In addition, create a national registry for child support orders within the Internal Revenue Service (IRS); the gradual transfer of responsibility for enforcement of child support orders from the states to the IRS; and the authorization of the IRS to withhold wages for child support, collect quarterly payments from the self-employed for child support, and routinely apply all of the other IRS collection mechanisms against those who do not pay. The IRS would also be charged with the responsibility for keeping records and dispensing payment to custodial parents.
All of the efforts to increase the number of child support awards, have the amount of the awards represent an appropriate contribution toward the costs of caring for children, and assure payment of awards will accomplish little when the non-custodial parent does not earn enough to make the required payments. A direct government payment to make up the difference between what the noncustodial parent can reasonably be required to pay and a basic level of child support has been proposed. This idea is usually incorporated in what is referred to as a Child Support Assurance program. This difficult an controversial issue also needs to be considered within the context of providing financial support for never-divorced families who live in or near poverty. Poor divorce families are a special subset of this problem because of the complex state and federal systems which currently exist to provide support for these children. Thus, child support assurance relates closely to a variety of proposals for welfare reform, job training, and creation of employment opportunities. It should not be considered in isolation.
As discussed in this analysis, divorce and separation of parents
affect millions of children n the US. Currently, there are serious
problems with the process of obtaining a divorce, in deciding about
what custody and visitation arrangements will be in the best
interests of children, and in providing financially for children when
parents divorce. Further, divorce needs to be considered in a broader
context. One of the greatest challenges facing our society in the
years ahead is the increasing diversity of the families responsible
for raising children. Children will be living in one- and two-parent
families of married, divorced, remarried, and never-married
individuals from an increasing variety of racial, ethnic and cultural
backgrounds. Whatever the family structure, children will still need
a loving, nurturing, stable, economically secure environment for
their optimal growth and development. Children are not responsible
for who their parents are or for what they do; rather it is the
parents and the community who are responsible for who their children
are and for what they become.
Snippets on Children & Divorce
Snippets on the Immunization of Young Children:
Source: The Future of Children, a publication of the Center for the Future of Children, The David and Lucile Packard Foundation.
The Fair Way - Something New in Divorce
Mediation
Inconsistency Concerning
Consistency
California Kids are Cheated of
Support
Your Tax Dollars at Work, Part I
There's a catch. The man was still in Illinois, had a listed telephone number and his address was even on file with state agencies. Perhaps the state did not want to contact him because the story isn't quite so goo when there are two sides to it. Instead of being a wealthy scofflaw typically shown in "deadbeat dad" stories, the man said his divorce had left him broke and he works as a handyman to support his disabled mother. He also told Associated Press that his ex-wife is blocking his efforts to see his daughter. In retrospect, the real child abuse would seem to be the mother's for not only distorting the picture to the world and their daughter, but by distancing the daughter from her father.
Rule #1: Put some effort into your outfit
“When I was married, I got used to throwing on any old thing—I felt like I had no one to impress. So when I went on my first date after my divorce, I wore beat-up old khakis and an un-ironed shirt. My date was dressed to kill, and I felt like a total mess. Remember, when you start dating again, you’re trying to impress someone, so look the part.”
-Josh Kantor, 39, Warwick, RI
Rule #2: Give yourself a recovery period
“My divorce had only been final for a couple of weeks when I went on my first divorcée date. I guess I was still reeling from the split, because I spent the majority of the time talking about how much I hated my ex. I didn’t realize it until my date said, ‘Wow, sounds like you’ve still got a lot of issues to resolve. Are you sure you’re ready to be dating?’ He was totally right. After about six months, I had a new attitude; I had let go of a lot of my anger, and was finally ready to channel my efforts towards meeting someone new. And that was the right time to start dating again.”
–Paula Franklin, 42, Minneapolis, MN
Rule #3: Don’t get hung up on age
“I was reluctant to date older women because I thought they wouldn’t be as much fun. But the first woman I went out with was 40, and she was extremely successful and worldly. I found her to be incredibly self-assured, confident and sexy. It was like a totally different ball game—no games and no drama. Older women have a defined sense of self, and they know what they want from life—both of which are fantastic qualities.”
–Craig Hersset, 34, Villanova, PA
Rule #4: Don’t feign an interest
“For my first post-divorce date, I agreed to a baseball game, claiming I loved baseball in order to wow the guy I was going out with. The truth was that I hate sports; I had never been to a game and knew nothing about baseball. When we got there, he kept making references to the game and asking my opinion, and it soon became clear that I had lied. Of course it was my lying that turned him off, not the fact that I didn’t like baseball.”
–Dawn Webb, 36, Highland Park, IL
Rule #5: Don’t go to an old haunt
“I think I had become so accustomed to my ex-wife’s love of seafood that I scheduled my first post-divorce date at a restaurant we used to go to together. We had a fine time, but the wait staff kept asking where my ex-wife was. Needless to say, the date wasn’t a success. I never went there again—alone or with a date!”
–Larry Grossberg, 38, Edgewater, NJ
Rule #6: Don’t put all your cards on the table
“I guess it had been so long since I’d dated, I wasn’t sure how to act. Within the first five minutes of my first date, I explained my whole history, laid out exactly the type of person I was looking for, and explained that I wanted to remarry. My date was clearly freaked out. Now I know that a date isn’t a job interview. Take it slow and let your story unfold as time goes on.”
–Shelley-Ann Poole, 33, Hartford, CT
Rule #7: Don’t kid around
“About an hour into my first date after my divorce, my date mentioned that he was so glad that he and his ex never had kids because he ‘just wasn’t a daddy type.’ I have two young kids, so I knew immediately that there was no possibility of our ever having a relationship. What a waste of a Saturday night and a babysitter! I figured that having kids wouldn’t be that big of a deal to a fellow divorced person, but to some, it is. After that date, I made sure to be very up front — beginning with the date-planning stage — about my status as a parent so that I didn’t waste anyone’s time... nor have mine wasted.”
-Ann Reese, 38, Pittsburgh, PA
Rule #8: Plan an activity-based date
“Your first post-divorce date is a big step! I recommend choosing a fun, active event, like going to an amusement park or the zoo over meeting for dinner. In an ‘activity-focused’ situation, there are fewer opportunities for awkward lulls in the conversation because you can always talk about what you’re doing or seeing. Even if your date is a dud, you’ll feel more at ease.”
–Joe Tallston, 40, Millwood, NJ
Rule #9: Don’t be afraid of branching out
“I had never been into dancing before my divorce—my ex-wife never particularly enjoyed it, and I never thought I was very good at it. When my date, Sarah, suggested we go swing dancing for our first date, I tried as hard as I could to get out of it, but she wasn’t having any of that. Good thing she persisted—I had a blast! I think dating after divorce – especially that first time – is really about opening yourself up to new possibilities, so don’t be scared to do things you never would have considered in your ‘former life’!”
–Eric Donnelly, 37, Los Angeles, CA
Rule #10: Keep the conversation focused on the future
“I always advise not discussing your ex on that first date. It’s too much of a reminder of the past when you’re trying to move forward. Instead, talk about the things that you find interesting and alluring — your interests, your goals for the future, your travels, etc. — and ask those same questions of your date. After all, isn’t your ex the last person who should ‘be’ on that date with you?”
–Laura Wellborn, 33, Detroit, MI
Chelsea Kaplan is a senior editor at The Family Groove. Her work
has been featured in Self, Men’s Health, New Woman, Bridal
Guide, and The Mommy Times.
Source: By Chelsea Kaplan, msn.match.com/msn/article.aspx?articleid=6673&TrackingID=516311&BannerID=544657&menuid=7>1=8535
Suddenly Single Archive, msn.match.com/msn/archive.aspx?category=681&lid=0
)
is part of The Non-Custodial Parents Quilt (www.betterdivorce.com/quilt
)
is for the invisible parents who want their love to be seen. The
Quilts live on the internet for all to see. The people on the Quilt
want to counter unflattering stereotypes by showing the real picture.
The Quilts honor the loving parents who are doing their best to
remain involved in their children's lives despite all the obstacles
that come from being a non-custodial parent. The squares that make up
the Quilt are photographs of divorced parents with their children.
Join them to make a powerful statement. Send a photo for the Quilt.
Together with many other dads, you are contributing to a bright and
beautiful symbol of your strength and your hope. You may be
divorced...but you can still be loving fathers. What to send - a
scanned photograph (a close-up of you...or of you and your child or
children), preferably in JPEG format. Send the scanned photo via
email to quilt@divorcedfather.com.
If you can't scan it, send a paper print and we'll scan it for you.
Your name, address and phone number (please indicate if you'd be
willing to be interviewed by the media). If you're sending a paper
print, mail it to: Quilt, c/o Mission, 27 W 24th St
(#603), New York, NY 10010.
Custodial/Non-Custodial Parent Record
Keeper
Family Laws Grow in California - Joint
Custodian, James A. Cook
California is one of six states with a full-time legislature meeting all year long with the time and machinery to generate a large volume of bills. 6,500 legislative bill concepts were introduced and debated. Over 150 bills affected the main interests of divorcing men. Of the 150+. 87 were passed into law and are identified by Chapter number in Section I. Section II provides a listing of bills and topics likely to come again in the legislature. These were reintroduced after they had previously failed, were canceled or vetoed.
Specially Significant - examples of influential bills, both passed and failed.
Formula for frustration.
SB 370 Child Support Guidelines, Hart (D). Revises statewide
child support guidelines formula, increases awards by minimum of 25%
over Judicial Council formula (Rule 1274). Enacted and into effect,
Chapter 46.
SB 1614 Support Mechanisms, Hart (D). Provides earnings subject to wage assignment to include payments due for workers' compensation benefits. Authorizes acceptance of a credit card for payment of child or spousal support. Provides additional discretion to judges in applying. SP 370 support formula guidelines. Chapter 848.
Let's see your license! Your delinquency was over the
limit."
AB 1394 Support Delinquency: Lifting Licenses, Speier (D).
Prohibits issuance or renewal of a business or professional license
(including commercial drivers license) for an individual alleged to
be 30 days in arrears on court-ordered support payments. Chapter
50.
Knit-pick litigation: When did you stop beating your
money?
AB 1437 Marital Dissolution Property Rights, Speier (D).
Creates duty to fully disclose information about assets, liability
and income without formal discovery requests in marriage dissolution
and penalizes failure to file or accurately report interests and
income. Each party subject to rules which control actions of persons
occupying confidential relations with each other. Prohibits court
from entering judgment with respect to property rights unless
declarations of disclosure are filled. Non-complying party ordered to
pay costs incurred by opposite party in seeking this information.
Chapter 37.
Where or where has my little dogma gone? Rewriting the
book on family law.
AB 2641 Family Code Corresponding Changes, Speier (D)
Consolidates into comprehensive Family Code all related provisions in
other sections of the law. Chapter 163. (830-page booklet overview of
the new code, Report on the Family Code, can be had upon payment of
$45 payable to the California Law Revision Commission, 4000
Middlefield Rd, Ste D-2, Palo Alto, CA 94903.)
Blow to teen fathers expressing altruism and responsibility.
AB 1296 Adoptions: Paternity, Katz (D). Original
purpose of this bill was to codify case law (Adoption of Kelsey S.,
1991) which increased the right of fathers to stop adoptions. Would
exclude those fathers from this protection who have engaged in
nonconsensual sexual relations (rape or unlawful sexual intercourse).
However, this could deny the father of "high school sweethearts" from
having a say in adoption. After amendment, AB 1296 eliminated ability
of teenage fathers to participate in adoption decisions and defined
rapists as men who are convicted of forcible rape and those who are
convicted of statutory rape if they are over the age of 21 and the
birth mother is under the age of 15. In effect, teenage fathers'
rights were cut. Chapter 559.
Wham! We thought "false allegations" worth expunging.
AB 92 False Child Abuse Reports, Moore (D) Requires state
Department of Justice and a teacher's school employer to destroy a
report of child abuse if report is later found to be untrue. Also
require school district to notify employee if he or she is the
subject of an investigation. Vetoed by Governor. "...we should err on
the side of protecting...children" and "bill does not provide...for
the delay of notification of...employee." Vetoed.
As commercials say: "We make it the old fashioned way."
SB 937 Surrogate Contracts, Watson (D). Alternate
Reproduction Act to regular commercial surrogate contracting or use
of donated ovum. Surrogate to have home at least one child.
Advertising of surrogate or donors only as specified. Up to $15,000
in compensation. Guidance to courts in custody disputes. Sets legal
framework for surrogacy. Governor vetoed as premature.
Section I: Enacted. By Chapter.
SB 1307 Parenting Education, Watson, (D). Require an adopted course of study of one semester, for grades 7 or 8, in parenting skills and education. Chapter 1355.
SCR 68 Family Week, Rogers (R). Proclaim the week in which Thanksgiving Day falls as Family Week. Chapter 40.
SJR 27 Family Planning, Watson (D). Memorializes Congress to permit family planning programs receiving federal Title X funds for abortion counseling and referral services to women. Chapter 142.
AB 1101 Vital Stats: Marriage Licenses. Frazee (R). Requires certificate of registry of marriage to be returned by person performing marriage to county recorder with 4 days. Duplicate licenses issued up to one year after original license. Chapter 318.
AB 2650 Family Code, Speier (D). Expands procedural provisions applicable to family law act, ex parte protective orders may enjoin a party from telephoning other party, expands definition of community property to include property in another area, codify case law regarding certain presumptions about marital property. Chapter 162.
AB 3399 Marital Dissolution Property Rights, Speier (D). Involves complex and substantial issues of fact or law related to property rights, visitation, custody or support. Provides "family law real property lien" for attorney's fees in dissolution and for judicial case management of fees and costs in family case. Abrogates the 'Droeger' case. Requires encumbering spouse to notify opposite spouse of real property lien 15 days before encumbrance is recorded. Chapter 356.
AB 3630 Marriage Dissolution, Floyd (D). Upon petition of dissolution (etc.) requires notice advising party to review wills, insurance policies, retirement plans, credit cards, credit accounts, and matters they may want to change. Advises may need agreement of spouse for change. Chapter 159..
SB 1423 Child Support Info Reports, Morgan (R). Requires Dept of Soc Svcs to notify Dir of Employment Develp whether individual filing a claim for unemployment owes support obligations. Established Calif State Support Registry requiring all employers to report hiring or change in employment status of any person. Chapter 850.
SB 1530 Family Support Obligations, Watson, (D). Provides earnings subject to wage assignment also include payments due for workers' compensation temporary disability benefits. Makes related provisions. Chapter 851.
SB 1680 Child, Spousal Support Software, Calderon (D), prohibits any software to compute support orders unless it meets standards to conform with statutes and court rules. Chapter 1157
SB 1817 Pilot Procedures: Support & Temporary Orders, Morgan (R). Reenacts 2-year pilot projects in San Mateo & Santa Clara counties for making and hearing motions for temporary support orders and other temporary orders. Chapter 411.
SB 2016 Minors: Support Leslie (R). With respect to minors emancipated under termination of parental support obligations, Makes two exceptions: (1) require parent provision of health insurance, & (2) reimbursement to state for any public assistance provided the minor. Chapter 821.
AB 568 Family Law Support, Hunter (R). Revises law with respect to enforcement of support obligations of a parent to support an unmarried child of 18 years of age and is not self supporting. Provides earnings subject to wage assignment to include payments due for workers' compensation temporary disability benefits. Chapter 718.
AB 2621 Family Support Obligations, Bates (D). Requires financial institutions to provide DAs with information in connection with child and spousal support. Exempts financial institutions from liability. Requires Statewide Automated Child Support System to act as single statewide registry of child support orders. Chapter 847.
AB 3018 Child Support Engorcement Incentive, Horcher (R). Permits compliance incentive rate be provided each county converting to Statewide Automated Child Support System, if county likely to be in full compliance. Chapter 652
AB 3589 Child Support Tax Liens, Speier (D). Makes Franchise Tax Board "collector of last resort" for unpaid child support. Allowed to impose liens. Chapter 1223.
SB 2018 Community Property: Retirement Plans, Calderon (D). Specifies no court to order retirement plan to provide increased benefits on basis of actuarial value, nor make payments resulting in increase of benefits, nor order payments before a member retires, except as specified and not to be applied retroactively. Chapter 431
AB 1396 Sets Aside Family Law Judgments, Speier (D). Creates uniform rules and time limits for allowing courts to set aside judgments or settlements in dissolution of marriage if based on mistake, fraud, perjury or because a party was mentally incapacitate or under emotional duress. Chapter 36.
AB 1719 Community Property: Non probate Transfers, Horcher (R) Existing provisions of probate code do not preclude certain nontentamentary transfers of real or personal property effective upon death of transferor. This bill authorizes certain non probate transfers of a spouse's share of community property, becoming effective on death of transferor without the written consent of the other spouse. Chapter 51
SB 1564 Minors at Risk, Watson (D). Generally, minors are not to be taken from parents during dependency petition unless evidence the minor was sexually abused or cannot be protected from such abuse. This extends the ability to remove a child from parents in situations wherein a sibling was abused or at risk. Chapter 455
SB 1646 Removal from Abusive Homes, Calderon (D). Requires court to determine if siblings of a sexually abused child should also be removed from a home. Children must be at substantial risk. Chapter 455
AB 638 Statute/Limitations: Child Sexual Assault, Boland (R). Extends statute of limitations (typically 6 years) for adults alleging they were molested as children. Charges could be filed as many years after 21 years of age as years under 21 when assault occurred. Chapter 921.
AB 1405 Task Force: Assault on Children, Alpert (D). Requires Department of Justice establish a statewide Task Force on Sexual Assault of Children funded by private grants and donations. Organized pedophile rings to be investigated and prosecuted. Chapter 561
AB 3243 Child Abuse Prevention Funds, Bronzan (D). Requires DSS to allocate funds in annual budget for abuse and neglect prevention services. Chapter 1106
AB 3353 Minors: Treatment & Shelter, Gotch (D). Allows minor who is an alleged victim of incest or child abuse, to consent to residential shelter services without consent of minor's parent or guardian. Chapter 252
AB 3676 Sex Offense Enhancement: Children, Burton (D). Provides additional punishment of 1, 2, or 3 years for adult who, prior to commission of sex offense upon child up to 14 years, exhibits child pornography with intent of arousing child. Chapter 933
SB 14 Child Abuse Resulting in Death, Lockyer (D). Raise penalty for willful, cruel punishment resulting in death of child to voluntary manslaughter and increase punishment to 3, 6 or 9 years in prison. Chapter 917
SB 1125 Juveniles: Child Abuse, Presley (DP). Continues jurisdiction of juvenile court for children subject to serious physical harm, provides AFDC assistance, require written case plans from counties, etc. Chapter 1203
SB 1695 Child Abuse Report: Visitation Monitors, Royce (R). Defines tasks of child visitation monitor to report known or suspect child abuse, include district attorney investigate or family support officer. Chapter 459
AB 3491 Abuse or Neglect: Family & Child Index, Gotch (D). Authorizes county computerized data base to share information regarding child abuse with other agencies. Chapter 316.
AB 3633 Child Death, Polanco (D). Establishes California Child Death Advisory Board for purpose of coordinating state and local efforts to address fatal child abuse. Chapter 844.
AB 3679 Child Abuse Prevention, Hunter (R). Revises pilot projects and requires officer of child abuse prevention to monitor. Chapter 1122
AB 2220 Spousal Rape, Roybal-Allard (D). The crime of spousal rape to mirror the provisions of rape, generally. Deletes existing definition of spousal rape and, instead, defines spousal rape essentially the same as rape. Additionally, spousal rape punishable by imprisonment for 3, 6, or 8 years in state prison rather than county jail. If force or violence is involved, person required to register as sex offender. (21 states have abolished distinction between forms of rape.) Heretofore, duty to report spousal rape within 90 days. This eliminated now. Statute of limitations for proceeding remains at 3 years. Chapter 925.
SB 804 Chil
