Domestic Violence - Newsbytes

Menstuff® has compiled newsbytes on the issue of domestic violence. Unlike most other national, regional, local and web site resources on Domestic Violence, we don't exclude information pertaining to women as perpetrators and men as victims. We're one of very few to actually provide information written for men who are in an abusive relationship. If you know of others, please let us know.


NO MATTER WHAT SEX YOU ARE

Alternatives to Violence Resources (Includes services for male and female perpetrators and male and female victims)
Books on Abuse - Boys, Abuse - Children, Abuse - Ritual, Abuse - Sexual, Circumcision, Anger, Violence, Domestic Violence, Sexual Violence, Sexual Harassment, and Womens' Violence
Related Issues Talking With Kids About Tough Issues, Abuse - Ritual, Abuse - Sexual, Circumcision, Violence, Sexual Harassment, Womens' Violence and Prisons.
Resources: Alternatives to Violence programs. The Duluth Model
Q&A Slide Guide on Gangs
Journals - on Child, Emotional, Religious, and Sexual Abuse and Trauma

Sports and Courts

Dwight Gooden was arrested in Tampa, FL for allegedly punching his ex-wife in the face, police said. The former All-Star pitcher was charged with domestic violence battery and was being held in jail without bond. Tampa police spokeswoman Laura McElroy said the dispute occurred at the home of Monique Moore, Gooden's ex-wife. "She threw a handset from a telephone at him and he punched her in the face," McElroy said. "She called 911. We responded. There was a bruise forming on her face and he was arrested." (Editor: Sounds like they both should be locked up for violent acts towards each other. However, it appears that if you physically attack first, or if you're a woman, you get to go free to provoke again.)

Studies Challenge Domestic Abuse Myth

New research shows that women assault their male partners more often than thought, prompting researchers to call for re-evaluation of domestic violence treatment programs nationwide. Section D Page 6. U. S. Today, 6/23/03

Physicians Less Likely To Screen, But More Likely To Intervene, On Domestic Violence

Despite the fact that only a small percentage of physicians screen new patients for domestic violence compared to other health problems, their interventions are more intensive, according to new findings.
Source: Center for the Advancement of Health, www.intelihealth.com/IH/ihtIH/WSIHW000/9105/342/352335.html

CDC Funds Five Additional State Coalitions To Address Domestic Violence Prevention

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) recently awarded more than $1.2 million to five state domestic violence coalitions to develop and coordinate activities that will prevent domestic violence in communities across the country. This brings a total of more than $3.8 million provided in the last five months to 14 state domestic coalitions who are joining forces with CDC to focus on prevention efforts to stop domestic violence.
Source: www.intelihealth.com/IH/ihtIH/WSIHW000/333/8010.html

Alcohol, Drugs And Violence Between Intimate Partners

As a disturbing sign of the times, perhaps, or because of a search for clarity, the term 'domestic violence' no longer means - as it was first coined 30 years ago - husband-to-wife violence. The term now encompasses all types of violence in the home, including spousal violence, elder abuse, and parent-to-child violence.
Source: Alcoholism: Clinical and Experimental Research www.intelihealth.com/IH/ihtIH/WSIHW000/9105/342/348649.html

"Teach Early" About Domestic Violence

"What they learn as boys, they do as men. That's why we need to teach our sons and other boys in our lives that violence against women is wrong. Now, when they need to hear it most." That's the message behind "Teach Early", the new public education campaign sponsored by the Family Violence Prevention Fund (FVPF) and The Advertising Council. The new campaign encourages Fathers, coaches, teachers, uncles and mentors to shape the attitudes and behaviors of boys. "Violent behavior is learned, and men have the power to teach boys that violence against women is wrong," said FVPF President Esta Soler.
Source: endabuse.org/newsflash/index.php3?Search=Article&NewsFlashID=316
Editor's Note: I want domestic violence to end, no matter who the perpetrator is. I also want to end violence against children. And, your piece singling out boys to take responsibility around domestic violence is a smaller part of the real story. Especially, when you say "What they learn as boys they do as men." If this is true, "What they do as girls they do as women." And the real problem that children have to face is violence from moms, not dads. As well as emotional abuse, neglect, maltreatment, etc. So, because we don't address the subject, the lessons our daughters are learning are (1) It's okay as a girl or woman to be violent, (2) And, it must be the boy's fault. Boys who slap a girl have a chance of going to prison. Girls who slat, hit, kick, punch boys (many of them learning from what they received from their mothers) it's okay. "I have a right after what he said." (See also TV Violence used as acceptable humor.)

When are we going to hold mother's and women responsible for being the primary abusers of children (overall and in all categories except sexual abuse - which they still represent 25% of the perpetrators) and start teaching our boys and girls that physical, emotional and sexual abuse just aren't okay, no excuses, no question, no matter which sex does it?

Report: Maine Conference on Domestic Violence Against Men

Transitions magazine reported on A Conference on Male Victims of Domestic Abuse Friday, May 18, 2001 at the University of Southern Maine in Portland, Maine. The event was sponsored by the Maine Battered Men's Helpline (www.mensactivism.org ) and the Bangor Daily News. Speakers included David Burrougs, Mary Cleary, Cathy Young, and Richard Davis.

Men Don't Tell

The CBS movie "Men Don't Tell" is the only movie I know of that addressed the problems of male victims of domestic violence. The link below is for an Amazon.Com company that allows you to vote for your favorite movies. If you saw this movie, you can sign on and register a vote and comments about the movie and the subject in general. us.imdb.com/Title?0107553

Turn in Your Electronic Trash and Hellp Fight Domestic Violence

From May 1 to July 31, 2001 RadioShack is accepting old cell phones and accessories in any condition. The phones will be reprogrammed with 911 and local emergency numbers so domestic violence victims can access help quickly. Donate any junk phones you may have and if you work at an office where others use a lot of phones, please consider posting a notice and/or talking to your administration people to donate phones the company might otherwise be discarding. More information is available at www.wirelessfoundation.org/12give/

Another athlete busted for domestic violence

Technically, that still counts as news, though there have been so many of them. Two months after teammate (and fellow All-Star) Penny Hardaway was accused of threatening a girlfriend with a gun, Phoenix Suns guard Jason Kidd has been busted for allegedly striking his wife Joumana in the face during an argument. According to the January 18 police reports, the 6-4 athlete struck his wife in the face while holding a yogurt container. He did this in full view of his 2-year-old son. He also kicked the locked bedroom door in to pursue his wife further. More details and the police report can be found at www.thesmokinggun.com/doc_o_day/doc_o_day.shtml

Battered males: A domestic abuse secret By Ruth-Ellen Cohen, the Bangor

It took Kevin Juneau almost seven years to end the cat-and-mouse game that was his marriage. In the meantime, he took the insults, punches and slaps his wife routinely heaped upon him.

Later, he'd listen stone-faced to her tearful apologies and heartfelt assurances that it never would happen again.

Terrified that she'd make good on her threat to keep him from their three children, he stayed, never knowing when — or why — she would become enraged.

One day, when it all became too much to bear, he packed his bags and drove away.

"Everything had built up, and I had no one to lean on, no one to talk to," the South Portland man said recently.

"I just came to the point where I had to take the leap — I was either going to leave or kill myself."

With October set aside as Domestic Violence Awareness Month, Juneau was one of a number of men to point out that women aren't the only ones who fall prey to abusive spouses.

Although these men receive little, if any, attention, they are not a rarity, according to Department of Justice reports, FBI crime statistics and academic studies.

A National Family Violence Survey conducted several times during a 30-year period indicates that half of domestic violence victims are men. And much, much more.

For the complete story check out: www.bangornews.com/cgi-bin/article.cfm?storynumber=23006

Missed opportunities in the fight against domestic violence, Business & Health Magazine

For an unbalanced view, read the following:

Half the women who are victims of domestic abuse say it has invaded the workplace, often costing them their jobs, yet many employers have found ways to support employees who are in trouble.

The Risk and Insurance Management Society reports that harassment—including stalking, threatening phone calls or e-mail and trespassing—is the leading form of on-the-job workplace violence, affecting 16 million workers each year.

According to a 1998 report from the U.S. General Accounting Office, up to 52 percent of victims have lost their jobs because batterers typically engage in behavior that makes it difficult to work. Donna Norton says a batterer "will try to get a victim fired to increase dependence on him."

And more at www.medec.com/html/products/productpages/businhealframe.html and go to the bottom of the page, choose: Visit the Business and Health web site.

Health Salad: Domestic Violence, Clare Oh hosted excellent DV discussion

"Welcome to Health Salad, a weekly Live Online discussion with washingtonpost.com Health Producer, Clare Oh. Health Salad covers a wide range of health issues that offer readers practical advice they can use.

"Domestic abuse continues to be a serious problem in the nation. Physical violence is only one among several different forms of abuse that can occur in an intimate relationship. According to the Domestic Violence Prevention Fund, about one-third of of American women report being physically abused by their husband or boyfriend in the past year.

"Joining us to help us understand signs of domestic violence and laws protecting victims is Rita Smith, Executive Director of the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. Rita's career in advocacy and domestic violence assistance began when she served as a crisis line advocate in a shelter for battered women in the early 1980s.

"Additionally, she has co-authored a legal manual for attorneys working with domestic violence victims in Colorado, and in the fall of 1997, co-authored an article on child custody and domestic violence published in The Judges Journal (An American Bar Association publication)."

So began one of the best open discussions on domestic violence. You may read the complete transcript at: discuss.washingtonpost.com/zforum/00/healthsalad102600.htm Write Ms. Oh and say "thanks" for hosting such a balanced discussion at webnews@washpost.com

Violence by Women

Psychology Today looks at women's violence, finally. Check it out! "Violence by women has skyrocketed in the latter part of this century. Have they taken 'women's liberation' one step too far - or are they just showing their natural killer instinct?" This isn't new news to many of those who have worked with men's issues over the years, but this may bring much needed awareness to those in "Family" Services and many of the Alternatives to Violence programs solely focused on women as victims and men as perpetrators. We have listed all of the programs we could find that provide services for women perpetrators and male victims and well as male perpetrators (Alttoviolence). Hopefully, local and county services will be started in the rest of the country to serve the entire spectrum of violent people, regardless of their sex. NOTE:  If you are a male victim, refer below to important information you should know.


False Image that Men are Violent, Women Passive, has Negative Effects, Kathleen Parker,

"I'm reading Ann Landers, who reprints a list of warning signals to help women figure out whether they're married to a batterer. Not to diminish the value of lists, perish the thought, but here's a clue: (1) If he or she hits you, he or she is a batterer. But Landers' column and list aren't about he or she; they've about him. For as everyone knows, men are batterers. Everyone knows that "the most dangerous place for a woman to be is in the home."  Everyone know that "men batter because they can."  So go the headlines and billboards these days. On the other hand, not everyone knows when she's being battered, according to Landers. Hence, the list of warning signs "to help women determine if a mate or date is a potential (or actual) batterer." As I read the list, I kept thinking, why is this about men?  Item for item, the warning signs could as easily - even more easily in some cases - be associated with female behavior. Consider a few:  jealous of your time, controlling behavior, blames others for problems, says cruel, hurtful things, has sudden mood swings and unpredictable behavior, says, "I'll kill you," breaks things, uses force in arguments, holds you down, pushes, slaps, or shoves." I'm sure you don't personally know any women who have mood swings or say hurtful things. I'm certain you've never known a controlling, jealous woman or one who, in a flash of anger, has thrown or broken something. Slaps?  Blames others?  Why are these warning signs only of male batterers?  Or is it that batterers are guilty unless proven female?  With only one exception having to do with forceful sex - rare is the woman who can rape a man - not one item on the list is more likely to be associated with men than with women. No one wishes to trivialize the horror of domestic violence, nor to suggest that women and children haven't suffered grievously at the hands of violent men. But domestic violence, like all stories, has two sides. Are we willing to examine the whole cloth of hard data, or is it easier to piece together anecdotal scraps for greater effect?  The truth of domestic violence is that men kill and cause serious damage more often than women, according to the National Family Violence Survey. The truth also is that women initiate violence as often as men. Which is to say, batterers come in both sexes, and warning lists, if they're to be meaningful, should be gender-neutral. What's discomforting about Landers' list and similar messages is that they continue to feed the public perception that men are violent creatures and women passive victims. Such perception not only is false buy poses serious, far-reaching cultural and policy repercussions, not the least of which is the demonization of all men. Domestic violence is an individual problem, not, as feminist theorists have championed, a patriarchal manifestation. By telling half-truths based on ideological dogma, we merely reduce the likelihood that the story of domestic violence - potential or actual - will ever change." (See Women's Violence.)

Source: Kathleen Parker is a columnist for the Orlando (FL) Sentinel and has a weekly column in the Grass Valley (CA) Union

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