3 Secrets of Couples Who Stay In Love
One thing we've discovered about love,
relationships, marriage and how to stay in love
Great relationships DO NOT happen by
In fact, it's true about not only your
relationships, buteverything in life...
A great anything does not happen by
Take couples who "fall in love" and "stay in
love" for example...
What we've found is that "falling in love" and
"staying in love" are two different things.
The falling in love is certainly easier than the
staying in love, but for the couples who somehow
manage to do both the question is...
How do they do it?
How do these couples seem to beat the odds and
do what most couples can't seem to do?
There are several ways that couples keep the
fires stoked and burning long after the honeymoon
period of the relationship is over.
We're going to share a few of those secrets with
Secret # 1 Couples who stay in love seem to
actually talk to each other differently than
couples who are headed for divorce court...
Not only do these couples talk to each other
differently, but they also use different words than
the rest of us when they talk to each other....
They use "magic words" that seem to help open
their partner instead of shut him or her down--
They use words that keep their partner
interested instead of bored--
In any relationship, what we've found is that
words can wound and words can heal.
We've found that the right words truly can make
all the difference between whether you stay in love
or your relationship becomes a divorce or breakup
That's why we've put together a collection of
the best words you could ever say to your partner
if you want to stay in love or even rebuild a love
that's faded over time.
Secret #2 Couples who "fall in love" AND
"stay in love" over a long period of time "ditch
We can't tell you how many times we've seen it
in our Relationship Breakthrough Coaching work with
Couples compete with each other about big and
small things (even in playful ways) and sit around
in amazement when the life has been sucked out of
their relationship or marriage and they are left
The reason is simple:
In our opinion, there is no room for competition
in a relationship between couples who are intimate
partners or married.
If you doubt whether this is true or not...
The next time that you and your intimate partner
or spouse have a friendly little competition about
anything, when you are finished, ask yourself one
very easy question:
"Do I feel closer and more connected to him or
her or do I feel distant and more
We're willing to bet that you'll feel more
disconnected if there is any kind of competition
between the two of you.
Of all the people we have ever worked with
personally and those who have gone through our
"Should You Stay or Should You Go?" program for
deciding whether to stay in or leave a relationship
Not one of these people has ever said to
"I feel like we're really on the same team
here--we're splitting up!"
It just doesn't happen.
Here's the Susie and Otto rule for this:
In order to "stay in love," make sure that you
and your partner or spouse ALWAYS play on the same
The potential challenges, upsets and heartbreak
are just too great if you don't.
Secret # 3 Couples who "fall in love" AND
"Stay in Love" remind themselves and each other
regularly about what they like, love and appreciate
about each other.
Just last night, Susie asked Otto...
"What do you most appreciate about me?"
To many people, it may seem kind of silly for a
couple who's been together as long as we've been
together to be telling each other what we
appreciate about each other all the time.
But it works--
Try this with your partner every so often and
notice the difference it makes in your
Simply say to your partner:
"Something I really appreciate about you
And then fill in the blank with what you like,
love or appreciate about him or her.
This alone can sometimes work miracles in a
relationship or marriage.
Please know that we're not naive enough to think
that in all cases simply "appreciating each other
more" will solve all your relationship ills.
We're not suggesting that at all.
What we are saying is that it's been our
experience that when you tell your partner, spouse
or lover how much you like, love and appreciate him
or her in specific ways on a regular basis, -- your
relationship really sings.
Our best to you,
& Otto Collins
Other Relationship Issues,
and Otto Collins are spiritual and life partners
who are committed to helping others create
outstanding relationships of all kinds. They
regularly write, speak and conduct workshops and
seminars on love, relationships and personal and
spiritual growth to audiences all across the USA.
They are the creators of the "Relationship Toolkit"
which has helped people in over a dozen countries
improve their relationships. It includes a video
Partnerships plus two
and Relationship Success
Relationship Quotes Worth a Million
Dollars! You can also
read more articles like these and subscribe to
their weekly newsletter on love and relationships
by visiting their web site at www.collinspartners.com
new E-book Should You Stay or Should You Go?
has just been released and is now available
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