Susie & Otto

 

12 Simple "Mind Tricks" You'll Want To Try...


In this newsletter we're going to give you 12 great tips for celebrating your love.

These 12 tips could just as easily be called..."!2 things to never forget about love" because they not only apply to couples at valentine's day but all of us the whole year through...

Here's what we've discovered... Whether you're in a committed relationship or not--Valentine's Day is a day to celebrate love--

But there's a small problem...

Valentine's day can bring up a myriad of emotions which can either bring couples closer for a short period of time or create feelings of loneliness and separation because of unmet expectations.

So how can you deal with a holiday like this and actually enjoy yourself, whether you are in a "relationship" or not?

Here are our 12 suggestions to celebrate your love with your partner and with the important people in your life that will really serve you well in creating the outstanding relationships that you really want...

1) Don't Forget Kindness and Thoughtfulness. We all get in a rush sometimes and forget to be kind. We just want to get the things done that we have to get done and move along to the next thing to be done. Whether you are currently in an intimate relationship or not--take a moment to be kind to the people in your life. Kindness certainly doesn't have to mean "doing" for someone (but it can.) It can mean just giving a smile, sending a kind, loving thought, or simply listening to a story that you may have heard many times before.

2) Don't Forget Appreciation. So often we find ourselves dwelling on what irritates us about the people in our lives and we forget to appreciate the things about our relationships that are working. Appreciation only works when you want nothing in return. If there are "strings" along with your appreciation of another person, (like you want appreciation in return) it will seem like an empty, needy gesture. Appreciation has to be expressed from your heart and in such a way that is genuine.

3) Listen Closely to What Your Loved One Wants. Whether it's to make plans for a Valentine's day celebration or just listening to how your partner's day went--leave your ego and your desire to help or "fix it" for him or her at the door and just listen. We all get into habits that stifle communication--that shut off a true connection of the heart. To open up and bring more joy and ease into your relationship, take a moment to realize what you do to assume, to fix or to judge (even though you may not think you are doing those things) and just listen to understand your partner.

4) Listen Closely to What You Want. Listening closely to what you want can be even harder than learning to listen to your loved one. So many people have learned along the way that it's not safe to feel emotions--and they simply don't know how to listen to what they want. You have to practice listening to the voice inside you so that you can be honest and authentic with the people in your life. You have to learn who you are and honor that by letting others know who the real "you" is.

5) If It's an Intimate Relationship, Don't Forget Time Alone. In our busy lives, we often forget to recharge by spending some time alone. Whether it's taking a walk outside by yourself and enjoying nature or it's taking 20 minutes to meditate or tune in and calm your thoughts--we've found that we are much better people and treat each other more lovingly if we take time for ourselves.

6) Don't Forget to Breathe. It may seem kind of silly to remind you to not forget to breathe, but so many of us actually live in the land of anxious, shallow breathing. Belly breathing can relax you, help you to clear your mind and keep you in the present moment. What's that got to do with creating great relationships? When we are relaxed, we listen better to others and we don't react quite so quickly from old patterns. We are able to access a fresh point of view when we breathe that can promote more understand and closer connections.

7) Don't Forget the "Show". What's the "show"? The show is what we do to show the other person that he/she is special in our lives. It can be a love note , a present or creating a special night or weekend away. It can be elaborate or it can be simple--whatever the two of you prefer. The main thing is that you "show" the other person how special they are to you.

8) Don't Forget Discernment. The media likes to use hype and if you buy into what the mass media promotes as "the way Valentine's day should be," then you might be setting yourself up for disappointment after the big day comes and goes. Remember, it's not about the money you spend or where you bought that special diamond necklace or ring. It's about the love that's underneath all of that.

9) Don't Forget to Be Present and Be Real. If you're like most people, you're usually either mentally thinking about what you have to do or are going to do in the future or thinking about what happened to you in the past. The present moments fly by without you really participating in them. To be present and real means to be fully focusing on what's going on right here and right now. Great relationships are built on that idea and whether it's Valentine's day or not, it's a terrific practice to get into.

10) Don't Forget to Think Long-Term Love and Not Just Short-Term "Wow". Whether it's a dating situation or long-term committed relationship or marriage, when you are thinking about a celebration of your love or of your relationship, keep in mind what would create and help foster continued long-term love instead of going for the "wow" factor.

To know the difference, you have to be in tune with how you and your partner like to celebrate--and everyone's different so you have to pay attention and listen. 

11) Don't Forget that You're Never too Young or Too Old for Love

Many people have a fixed age in their minds where love is no longer possible. This age might be 40, 50, 60, or 80. We're here to tell you that love is possible at any age. 

The trick to finding or renewing it is to recognize what ideas and beliefs have held you back or have sabotaged love in the past and change those habits.

Anyone can change and at any age. It just takes a willingness and desire to do so and to take a chance on having something wonderful.

12) Don't Forget About Nostalgia 

Anyone want to bring out those old records or tapes of the music you used to listen to when you first fell in love?

What a special way to celebrate your love and to renew those feelings at the same time. You might go to a restaurant or park that you used to go to or do some activity together that used to make your hearts sing.

Even if you are not currently in a relationship, you can resurrect things that used to be fun for you and have a mini-celebration of you.

We hope that these 12 tips on celebrating love will be helpful to you in creating relationships that you truly want. At any time during the year, we invite you to make conscious decisions about your life and not just let "life" happen to you.

Our best to you,

©2010, Susie & Otto Collins

Other Relationship Issues, Books

 

Susie and Otto Collins are spiritual and life partners who are committed to helping others create outstanding relationships of all kinds. They regularly write, speak and conduct workshops and seminars on love, relationships and personal and spiritual growth to audiences all across the USA. They are the creators of the "Relationship Toolkit" which has helped people in over a dozen countries improve their relationships. It includes a video called Spiritual Partnerships plus two booklets Love and Relationship Success Secrets and 101 Relationship Quotes Worth a Million Dollars! You can also read more articles like these and subscribe to their weekly newsletter on love and relationships by visiting their web site at www.collinspartners.com Their new E-book Should You Stay or Should You Go? has just been released and is now available www.stayorgo.com See Archives 2009, 2008, 2007, 2006, 2005, 2004, 2003, 2002 and 2001. Other Relationship Issues, Books



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