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Getting Past The "Assumption Barrier" in your
relationship or marriage
Question from a Reader: "Is there something
I can do to inspire my spouse to have more
non-sex*ual fun in our relationship?"
Our Comments:
Thanks for your question--because it certainly
is one that most of us face if we're in
relationships that last over a number of years.
Here are 3 ideas to inspire you and your partner
to liven things up so you can have more fun in your
relationship...
1. Find some ways that you like to have fun--
that keep you alive and growing. Let the fun and
aliveness bubble up from within you.
We did some research on the word "inspire" and
here are a couple of things we found out...
**If you "inspire," you animate with an idea or
purpose.
**The root of inspire is "spirare" which means
"to breathe."
We realize that we might be taking a big leap
here but in order to "inspire" someone, you need to
breathe it yourself.
What does that mean?
Start finding some ways to have fun and come
alive yourself. Let your enthusiasm show for what
you're doing and what you like.
Fun and enthusiasm are catching.
So start with you.
2. Do things to keep variety in your
relationship.
Even if we really like stability in our lives,
there is a part of all of us that likes
variety.
It's one of the human needs that many experts
tell us that we all have--some have more of a need
for it than others.
But we all have it.
Having fun together as a couple can fall into
this category.
So what might variety mean in your life?
**Trying a new restaurant
**Planning a vacation that's different from
where you usually go (and it doesn't have to be
exotic or expensive)
**Joining a new group to do a new activity--like
dancing lessons, a running club, a book club
**Inviting people who you'd like to know better
to eat with you
Those are just a few ideas to help you think
about some ways to bring more variety into your
life and relationship.
Variety freshens up your life and can even add
fun to it!
3. Get curious. Let go of "I got it" attitude
about your partner.
We've said it before, but it's worth
repeating...
Look at your partner with "new eyes."
So often, we think we know everything about our
partner--and the truth is, we never do.
Encourage him to talk about what he likes or
used to like to do.
You might find someplace where the two of you
can overlap your interests--and actually have fun
together.
Susie never thought she'd have fun watching
major league baseball on television but she does
with Otto.
For her, it took jumping out of her
pre-conceived ideas of what baseball was (boring)
to looking at it from Otto's eyes--and catching
some of his enthusiasm.
For her to enjoy baseball, it took opening to a
new viewpoint about it.
If you have the attitude of "I got it"--I know
exactly who my partner is and what he likes and
dislikes--there's no room for discovery.
Open to finding out something new about your
partner.
Open to maybe adopting a new viewpoint about
something.
Open your heart to finding that fun and
aliveness in your relationship--and you just might
find it!
Talk to you again soon...
©2009, Susie
& Otto Collins
Other Relationship Issues,
Books
Susie
and Otto Collins are spiritual and life partners
who are committed to helping others create
outstanding relationships of all kinds. They
regularly write, speak and conduct workshops and
seminars on love, relationships and personal and
spiritual growth to audiences all across the USA.
They are the creators of the "Relationship Toolkit"
which has helped people in over a dozen countries
improve their relationships. It includes a video
called Spiritual
Partnerships plus two
booklets Love
and Relationship Success
Secrets and
101
Relationship Quotes Worth a Million
Dollars! You can also
read more articles like these and subscribe to
their weekly newsletter on love and relationships
by visiting their web site at www.collinspartners.com
 Their
new E-book Should You Stay or Should You Go?
has just been released and is now available
www.stayorgo.com
See Archives 2006,
2005,
2004,
2003,
2002
and 2001.
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