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"Automatic Attraction" Secrets for
Couples
Wouldn't it be great if you could wave a magic wand
and the person you most want to be attracted to you
(especially your current partner, spouse or lover)
is head over heels in love with you and you really
feel it at deep level?
Whether you're currently in a relationship or
not...
Wouldn't that be pretty wonderful?
Well--unfortunately, there is no "magic wand"
that we know of.
But we do know some ways to create what we call
"Automatic Attraction."
We're going to share some of them here
and...
One of those ways is to use the right words in
the right ways--words that create "automatic
attraction," more trust and the feeling of being
loved, honored and appreciated in your most
important relationships.
The right words really can make ALL the
difference in your communication and
connection.
And if you want to learn our communication
shortcuts that show you how to say the right words,
in the right way to your partner (or anyone else)
every single time...
So what is "automatic attraction" and how do you
create it?
It might sound complicated but it really
isn't.
One of our early relationship teachers explained
it this way...
In order to create what you want in your life,
you have to set up the conditions so that what you
want happens automatically.
We'll use weight loss as an example for how to
do this and then we'll give you an example about
relationships...
While we're certainly not experts on weight
loss, we can tell you that if you want to lose
weight, it's just like what you have to do to
create an outstanding relationship.
You can do it much easier if you start doing
things that make it "automatic."
For example...
If you set up conditions like these--
Going to the gym and working out with a trainer
3 days a week, doing 30 minutes of exercise on the
other days, eating smaller portions, and not eating
sweets but eating "whole" foods instead--you'll
probably lose weight.
If you do those things (or whatever conditions
you put in place) and keep doing them, it's almost
automatic that you will lose weight. And if you
keep doing them, you won't regain the weight you
lost.
How about relationships?
We think one of the biggest keys to creating a
long-lasting, close, passionate relationship is
keeping attraction alive between the two of
you.
If attraction isn't alive, the two of you can
feel like roommates. While some people don't find
anything wrong with that, many want more.
And if your perfect partner hasn't come into
your life, you may be looking for that attraction
or "spark" that tells you that he or she is "the
one" when you meet someone new.
So attraction is big--whether you're single or
in a relationship with someone.
As we were thinking about attraction and setting
up conditions for making it automatic, we asked
ourselves how we do it in our relationship.
What do we do to keep our attraction alive
throughout the years and make it almost seem
automatic?
Here are some of the "conditions" the two of us
have set in place that continues to keep us
attracted to each other that you can use whether
you're with someone right now or not...
(These things may seem pretty simple but don't
be deceived into thinking that they aren't powerful
to keep attraction alive and well if you do them
consistently!)
1. Greet each other as if we are very special to
one another (which we are).
This isn't always easy and sometimes we (like a
lot of people) forget to greet each other as if the
other is special.
Here's an example for you to see how the
smallest of things can make the biggest of
differences in the love and connection...
The other day Otto was out running errands and
he called Susie to ask if she wanted anything from
the store.
When he called, she was preoccupied and when she
saw it was him on caller ID, she just said "yeah"
in a dead-pan voice as she answered the phone.
Ouch!
Otto felt like he was treated worse than a
stranger and all he said was...
"I'll call back."
Then he hung up the phone and immediately called
back a second time...
Susie got the message loud and clear.
When she answered the second time, she spoke in
such a way that he knew he was special.
This seems like such a small thing but it's so
HUGE...in relationship.
Now you tell us...
Which promotes automatic attraction--
A cold, distant "yeah" when your spouse or
partner calls...
or a warm, loving greeting?
We AND you both know the answer.
It's the warm, loving greeting.
And the weird thing about this is...
The warm, loving greeting certainly isn't fake
and doesn't take any longer to do.
What we're encouraging you to do is this...
Set up the condition that you remember that your
beloved is your beloved--no matter how busy or
preoccupied you are.
And if you are not currently with a partner,
treat a loved one in the same way we're talking
about.
You'll be amazed what happens in your life.
Another thing you can do to start creating
"automatic attraction" is...
2. Stop yourself before you make up untrue
stories about your beloved (or anyone else you want
to attract to you) and just listen.
It's so easy to fall into the "bad" habit of
viewing everyone, especially your loved ones, from
your perspective.
And when you do that, you make up stories that
may or may not be true about what he or she is
thinking and feeling.
Even if you're very much in love and consider
yourselves "soul mates," you can't possibly assume
to know what your partner is thinking and
feeling.
Attraction stops when you start assuming.
When you start assuming, the other person either
withdraws or gets angry.
So which do you want?
Do you want your beloved (or someone close to
you) to come toward you or to pull away from
you?
Learning to listen without an agenda is one
condition to put in place that will bring the two
of you closer.
Listening without an agenda just takes a little
practice and telling your mind to be quiet now and
just pay attention to the other person.
It's also telling yourself that you still have
choice even though you are listening to someone
else.
Creating conditions that will set the stage for
automatic attraction is not as impossible as it may
seem.
Does it ensure that your relationship will be
exactly what you want?
Not always but if you start thinking about this
idea and trying out setting some conditions that
will bring you closer to what you want.
Who knows--the results might be better than you
expect!
Our best to you
©2010, Susie
& Otto Collins
Other Relationship Issues,
Books
Susie
and Otto Collins are spiritual and life partners
who are committed to helping others create
outstanding relationships of all kinds. They
regularly write, speak and conduct workshops and
seminars on love, relationships and personal and
spiritual growth to audiences all across the USA.
They are the creators of the "Relationship Toolkit"
which has helped people in over a dozen countries
improve their relationships. It includes a video
called Spiritual
Partnerships plus two
booklets Love
and Relationship Success
Secrets and
101
Relationship Quotes Worth a Million
Dollars! You can also
read more articles like these and subscribe to
their weekly newsletter on love and relationships
by visiting their web site at www.collinspartners.com
Their new E-book Should You Stay or Should You
Go? has just been released and is now available
www.stayorgo.com
See Archives 2009,
2008,
2007,
2006,
2005,
2004,
2003,
2002
and 2001.
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