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3 Important R's In Relationships That Can
Help You Survive and Thrive, No Matter What
If there's one complaint that we hear over and over
about the challenges of relationships, it's
this...
"How do you find the time and energy to create
and keep great relationships?"
This is such a great question especially since
we all seem to be continually busy and stressed
much of the time.
This is especially true this time of year when
there are so many holiday activities to attend,
gifts to buy and preparations to make.
We just seem to be on the go from morning until
night--and if we don't interrupt the pattern, it
can take its toll on our bodies, our spirits, our
emotions and our relationships.
So what's the answer?
The answer comes from a surprising source.
Athletes.
Not just athletes-- but world class athletes who
seem to always win over and over.
They have discovered that renewal drives
performance.
Whether they realize it or not the best of the
best athletes figure out ways to take mini-rest and
renewal breaks--even during matches or games--that
will help them to be at their best when it really
counts.
Perhaps you've seen the tennis pro switching
his/her racquet from hand to hand after a point in
an important tennis match on TV. Until it was
pointed out to us that this switching allowed the
arms of his or her dominant hand and arm to relax,
we didn't realize what was going on.
We thought it was just "nervous tension" and we
didn't realize that this wasn't just nervous
tension but actually a recovery and renewal break
that would allow the pro to play at his/her optimum
level throughout the match.
At this point, you're probably wondering what
this has to do with your relationships.
It's simple. If you don't allow yourself to take
renewal breaks throughout your day or week, no
matter how busy you are, you cannot be who you
truly are with those you love--let alone those you
don't.
That's why the 3 R's (rest, relaxation and
renewal) are so important to you, especially as you
try to build and maintain great relationships.
It's true that we all need some amount of stress
to expand and grow but continual stress with no
rest, renewal and relaxation time is harmful.
When we are under continual stress, we say and
do things unconsciously from habit and past
experiences and do not consciously choose how we
are going to be in our relationships and lives.
When you consciously make choices about your
words and actions and are not muddled by stress,
you are able to speak and act from a place inside
you that is true.
This truth creates intimacy, connection and love
with the important people in your life.
Here are a few tips to encourage you to take
rest, recovery and renewal time, no matter what's
going on in your life...
1. Breathe deeply When we get stressed, we
forget to breathe. A mini-renewal break can simply
be taking a deep breath in and exhaling all of it,
emptying your lungs.Write a note to yourself and
put it in your car to remind you to take a deep
breath as you sit in traffic or deal with the kids
who are arguing in the back seat.
2. Take a 15 minute walk outside We walk around
our neighborhood and we've found that even 15
minutes can make a difference in how we feel.
3. Let it go. When something happens that is
upsetting to you, don't hold onto it and mull it
over. Reliving the painful memory will only keep
you from living your life to its fullest and will
separate you from the people around you.
Let it go as soon as you have said what you
needed to say. If agreements need to be created
around the issue, then suggest that the two of you
talk about how to "do it differently" the next
time.
"Worry" also falls in this category. Don't waste
your energy and time "worrying" about someone or
something. It only creates more stress and
agitation inside you.
Spend your "thought" time on what makes you
happy and your heart sing.
If you focus on loving yourself and others,
instead of worrying about them or holding onto
grudges, we think you'll see a big difference in
your relationships.
Renewal, rest and recovery may seem to be the
last thing that you think you have time for but
we'd urge you to re-think that belief.
These 3 r's are not only absolutely necessary
for the health and happiness of your physical body
and mental outlook but are also essential to the
health and continual growth of your
relationships.
©2007, Susie
& Otto Collins
Other Relationship Issues,
Books
Susie
and Otto Collins are spiritual and life partners
who are committed to helping others create
outstanding relationships of all kinds. They
regularly write, speak and conduct workshops and
seminars on love, relationships and personal and
spiritual growth to audiences all across the USA.
They are the creators of the "Relationship Toolkit"
which has helped people in over a dozen countries
improve their relationships. It includes a video
called Spiritual
Partnerships plus two
booklets Love
and Relationship Success
Secrets and
101
Relationship Quotes Worth a Million
Dollars! You can also
read more articles like these and subscribe to
their weekly newsletter on love and relationships
by visiting their web site at www.collinspartners.com
 Their
new E-book Should You Stay or Should You Go?
has just been released and is now available
www.stayorgo.com
See Archives 2006,
2005,
2004,
2003,
2002
and 2001.
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