Susie & Otto

 

The Relationship Trap You'll Want To Stay Away From. (It's Not What You Think)


If you're like most people, you've probably gotten caught up in this relationship trap at least once in your life--especially if you're a woman...

You worry that you aren't pretty enough, thin enough, or desirable enough to hold a man and keep him interested over the long haul.

Well, if that idea hasn't been debunked many times before, Tiger Woods has blown this myth straight out of the water and here's why...

Otto was talking to his personal trainer yesterday while he was working out and of course the conversation got around to Tiger Woods and his alleged affairs.

Monica, his personal trainer, said that the big question her other clients had was why in the world Tiger would ever cheat because his wife Erin was so thin and beautiful.

Why would he go elsewhere when he had such beauty at home?

Good question isn't it?

A lot of people (especially women) fall into the trap of thinking that "If I were more attractive, a better lover, a better whatever that I'd never have anything to worry about when it comes to my relationship and my man."

WRONG.

It simply isn't the case with Tiger and his beautiful wife Elin.

He apparently went elsewhere because beauty alone wasn't enough to hold him to faithfulness in his marriage.

Now of course we don't know the inner workings of his relationship with Elin and we won't claim to know the real reasons (right or wrong) that drove Tiger to cheat.

What we do know is that being beautiful and thin doesn't insure faithfulness over the long haul.

We bring this up because so many women tell us they're jealous and worry about someone more beautiful or thin stealing their man away.

We know that keeping a relationship alive, juicy, connected, loving and monogamous through the years is so much more.

Recently, we got a copy of T.W. Jackson's book for people who've just gone through a break up and want to get back with their partner or spouse...

The book is called, "The Magic of Making Up" and we highly recommend it and we agreed with much of what he was saying and...

We're paraphrasing here...

He said that men crave admiration and when they feel they aren't getting it--perhaps like they used to--they try to find it elsewhere.

He also said that women want to feel appreciated and praised for who they are--and if they don't find it in their relationship, they may look for it in some other place.

Of course, these aren't the only reasons people cheat or emotionally "drop out" of their relationships, but they are important ones to pay attention to if you want to keep yours vital, alive and growing.

Much more important than beauty and the size of one's body!

When you really get down to it, when you "check out" of a relationship, in whatever way you choose to do it, you aren't getting your needs met.

You may not choose to cheat, as Tiger has, but there are other ways to check out of your relationship...

**Allowing yourself to get so busy that there's no time to connect with each other

**Allowing work to become the most important thing in your life

**Shutting yourself down from emotional connection

Even if you consider yourself soul mates when you first got together, if you don't keep doing the things that attracted you to each other in the first place--and looking for new ways to love each other--chances are your relationship will lose its specialness over time.

If you quit admiring, appreciating and loving each other for who you each are-- you leave the relationship wide open for one or both of you to seek it elsewhere.

This admiration and appreciation has to be genuine even while it's mixed with expressing healthy boundaries and speaking your truth as you grow together.

For some, no amount of admiration and appreciation will keep him (or her) faithful.

That may be true in Tiger's case.

But if you're feeling like your relationship could use a little spicing up or you may think it's in trouble...

Turn your attention toward your partner and look at what you once admired and appreciated about each other.

Start looking for instances when these traits re-appear--and then let your partner know how you feel.

You may not want to be the first to start the appreciation/admiration ball rolling but if you do, there may be a huge shift that happens that can change your life forever.

All our best to you,

©2009, Susie & Otto Collins

Other Relationship Issues, Books

 

Susie and Otto Collins are spiritual and life partners who are committed to helping others create outstanding relationships of all kinds. They regularly write, speak and conduct workshops and seminars on love, relationships and personal and spiritual growth to audiences all across the USA. They are the creators of the "Relationship Toolkit" which has helped people in over a dozen countries improve their relationships. It includes a video called Spiritual Partnerships plus two booklets Love and Relationship Success Secrets and 101 Relationship Quotes Worth a Million Dollars! You can also read more articles like these and subscribe to their weekly newsletter on love and relationships by visiting their web site at www.collinspartners.com Their new E-book Should You Stay or Should You Go? has just been released and is now available www.stayorgo.com See Archives 2006, 2005, 2004, 2003, 2002 and 2001. Other Relationship Issues, Books



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