Does Alex Baldwin Worry About What People Say About
I stumbled on your site and column by accident a long time ago and Ive been hooked ever since. Youre stuff is great!
Doc, I have a major issue. I got into a relationship with a beautiful young lady, Shannon, a year ago. It was all wonderful until the end, which is usually the case. One night we really went at each other, got into a huge argument over some really stupid stuff and broke up. I thought it was best if I let things cool off and then see where she was at because I didnt want to throw away one whole year of a good relationship just like that.
I was hurting. After about a week or so I tried calling her but she wouldnt pick up. At the advice of a friend, I stupidly wrote her a letter, pouring my heart out to her. Still nothing. Then I did what you say to do -- I got completely off Shannons radar. I cut off our mutual friends too.
Now word on the street is that shes telling everyone in our former circle -- mind you, this is a lot of people -- that I was stalking her. This is complete bull! I understand that Shannon is hurt and trying to make herself feel better, but still, this is wrong.
Im still laying low because I dont want to deal with this childish drama. My dilemma is that I want to stand up for myself and tell my side of the story. Everyone thinks I went crazy and that Im a stalker, which is the total opposite of what really went down. My reputation is valuable and now its ruined.
What should I do? Please help!!!
Yevgeny - who feels under attack
Let me thank you very much for the compliment, and I want to tell you why you think my column is great -- and its not because I wrote it. Its because the fact that youre faithfully reading it shows that youre open to change. And thats a great trait in a guy. Youll make a great student.
I know exactly what you mean about your relationship being great until the end. Like Clint Eastwood says, It starts out good, then it goes bad, and then it just gets ugly.
You didnt just get into an argument with Shannon and break up. Like my cousin Sal The Fish Love says, She set you up, paisan. Guy, you have to look at that possibility. Think about it after an entire year it takes only one tiny argument to make this girl want to never see you again? No, no, no. Theres something else going on here. Ever hear of low Interest Level?
Yev, there was nothing to cool off. Shannons already with her next guy. Youre talking about taking a break from this babe as if you have some option of going back. That option doesnt exist. Oh, my friend, you have so much work to do.
You might not want to throw away a whole year of a supposedly great relationship, but Shannon does. And thats the problem. This is all about what she wants, buddy. No matter what you ever read or hear from the shrinks and sociologists and Feministas, its always about what the woman wants.
Im shocked that Shannon wouldnt pick up the phone when you called her!
Gee, I thought she missed you! Let me tell you something. Spilling your guts in a letter only works in Hollywood movies, daytime serials, and on Oprahs show. But like my cousin Brother Love down in Watts says, In the street, it aint got no credibility.
At that desperate point of no return you finally did what I told you to do. Its funny how I always come last, isnt it? You guys never call me when Interest Level dips from 95% to 85% -- you call me when Interest Level does a freefall from 95% to 35%. By then its too late.
But you do get a medal for taking yourself off Shannons radar and cutting off all your mutual friends. This is fantastic! You did it, Yev you played hardball. Finally! Even if it took a good old-fashioned slapdown from Shannon to make you face reality.
Now think about this. You went out with a girl who was a whack-job for 12 whole months and now that youre pulling a disappearing act she sees you behind every bush. What is it about her that you didnt pick up earlier? You were with her all that time and you didnt see any other red flags? Man, this girl can get you in trouble with the local police department! If she wanted, she could even inflict damage on your job. Like my cousin Rabbi Love says, Remember, my son, in America the male is always really the victim.
But you maintain that Shannon is crushed by what happened between the two of you. Yev, youre the one whos hurt in case you havent noticed. Like my cousin Fast Eddie Love says, Dont worry about her. Shes kissing her new dude on the back of his Harley. Or like my Uncle Jethro Love puts it, Youre hurtin and shes got a can of Coors in her hand!
But youre still laying low so you dont get involved in her hysterics. Heres what youve got wrong: this isnt childish drama at all. The real problem is that your Interest Level is 88% and hers is 35%.
Let me tell you why you shouldnt stand up and tell your side of the story. The people who like you are not going to believe Shannon anyway. And the rest of them didnt like you to begin with they cant hate you any more than they already do.
I understand why youre frustrated over the false accusations flying around, and I believe that youre telling the truth here. But youre not going to react to it.
Heres what you should do. If you have a good common friend, get him to call Shannon. After he talks to her for 10 or 15 minutes, have him roll the conversation around to you. And make sure he turns on the tape recorder. Then, after shes blasted you and accused you of all kinds of crimes, go to the police department and have a little talk with the officers before she does.
Remember, guys: if she wants to play down and dirty, get to the cops first.
© 2007, DocLove Dot Com
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Doc Love is a talk show host, entertainment speaker, and coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with one man versus another?" Archives for 2006, 2005, 2004, 2003, 2002, 2001, and 2000.
DocLove will answer all of your romantic love questions from a mans perspective. So set your ego aside, learn to laugh at yourself, and visit www.doclove.com or E-Mail or call me at 800.404.2644 and I will give you a snappy answer to your silly love question one loaded with truth. You do what I say, and Miss Right will rob banks for you. When I get done with you, you will need more security than Julio Iglesias. However, to protect the guilty, I promise to not use your real name, or give it out. All questions will be answered, but only the ones of general interest printed. Please be specific and dont ramble.
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