How Does Jesse Metcalfe Handle a Girl Who Won't Call
Im just getting back into the dating scene after a two-and-a-half year relationship and Im a little rusty. I was familiar with your advice and a follower of your articles prior to my last relationship, but didnt need to use them due to my exs constant attention regardless of what I did.
Recently Ive been dating online and have had decent success in acquiring dates. Camille is one of them. But shes a tough read and doesnt initiate contact. Normally I dont like to be the only one initiating contact. In addition, shes the type of woman that everyone praises lavishly for her beauty.
I have a close friend who is also a very attractive woman. She told me that she never initiates contact with a guy even if she likes him. She always waits for him to make a move before she responds. She says that shes old-fashioned and believes in gender roles and that I should just keep on calling and dating Camille.
Doc, is this acceptable? How does a guy appropriately deal with a woman who wont initiate contact?
I am doing the best I can to keep from getting sucked into the vortex of Camilles life and playing her game, and have realized that I need to change my approach before I screw this up. I have a month to come up with a plan since she is traveling abroad during that time. And I will only be able to communicate with her through an online networking website. Which brings up another question as well: do I send Camille messages while she is gone? I dont want to not contact her for concern that she will think I lost interest while she was gone. What do I do here?
Artie - who feels at a disadvantage
What you really mean to say about your long-term relationship that didnt work out is that you didnt go by my rules and she dumped you. If there was such a thing as Manese the male counterpart of Womanese -- thats what youd really be saying here, wouldnt it?
Its amazing how the male ego cant stand any type of discomfort. And the egos biggest problem is called the TRUTH. Like my cousin Rabbi Love says, The truth always implies that you have to accept responsibility for your actions, and it inflicts pain because it tells you that you have to get off your butt and follow The System.
Why were you breaking my rules on purpose, Artie? Youre telling me that you broke them purposely, with impunity, and that your exs Interest Level didnt drop. But like the great Doctor Freud once said, Didnt it ever occur to you that the woman can fake Interest Level?
Even worse, why in the world would you forsake the principles that got the girl in the first place? To you Psych majors, if a company builds its business on great service, and then it starts giving out lousy service, their customers will walk away. That would come under the heading of Common Sense.
Camille shouldnt initiate contact with you, guy. And by the way, I hope youre not praising this lady lavishly for her beauty. Like my cousin Brother Love down in Watts says, She hears that from everybody, dog. She dont need to hear it from you, too. But youre wrong in not wanting to initiate contact with her. Hey, man, youre the aggressor. But youre not going to charge in like Bush on the way to Baghdad. Instead, youre going to pace yourself. Youre going to take measured steps. To all you thickheads out there who dont understand me, youre going to go in SLOWLY.
The great part about being gorgeous like your lady friend is that you dont have to initiate contact with anybody. Like my cousin General Love says, There are too many soldiers willing to commit telephone blunders as it is. But its great that your friend waits for the man to make a move before she responds. Artie, you should buy 10 pounds of candy and 200 roses for your friend. She gives great advice. This is fantastic. Of course its acceptable to do it this way.
But whats going to make you different from all the other guys is that youre not going to just be a sap who does everything the woman wants you to do. Youre going to set Camille up. Youre going to work shrewdly and smartly with a strategy.
How do you deal with a woman who wont call you? You follow my guidelines. All the advice you need is between the covers of my book, the one you supposedly knew at one time but somehow got rusty at -- maybe because you didnt play by the rules anymore.
I like the way Camille is acting. This is a good girl. This is a conservative girl. Youre going to proceed nice and slowly with her because this is the kind of girl you want. The typical girl goes out with you one time and shes text-messaging you 50 times the next day. Somethings wrong with that girl.
You wont inundate Camille with e-mails while shes away. The most youll do is wait eight or nine days and drop her a note saying Tell me about the fun youre having on your vacation. And youll answer her messages when shes gone. If you can live with it, youll have to go along with her program because of the way this girl is built. But like my Uncle Jethro Love says, After youre with her for 40 or 50 years let me know how youre holding up.
Camille can do what she wants with your little e-mail. And by her answer, if you have my materials internalized, youll be able to see through her Womanese and really figure out her Interest Level. Because youll be giving her a chance to come back to you with something. Hopefully shell respond with When I get back, well get together for sure!
The point is that youre looking for something, and hopefully shell throw that something into her reply. Thats why youre doing it this way, Artie. Like I said, youre operating smart here. Like my cousin Sal The Fish Love says, You never go straight in with a woman. You gotta work the angles and the side shots like Oscar De La Hoya.
Remember, guys: the old-fashioned girls are the best girls.
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