Would Eddie Murphy wait for Her to Make Up Her
Never before have I written one of these help letters. I feel silly, but sometimes an outside opinion is best.
Tracee had just gotten out of a failing relationship. The day after she broke up with the guy, we went out on a date. Things went well, but I cautioned that if she needed to take time to get over the breakup, to please take it. She declined all three times I asked.
We did a lot together. She would call to talk to me all the time. All advances were made by her, other than the fact that I planned a whole day for her birthday. About six weeks into it she asked me to be her boyfriend. I was hesitant, but felt that if she asked she must really want to be with me. I agreed. But some days later she told me she was confused, hasnt had time to herself, and wanted to meet new people (shes 20 and Im 22), but didnt want to hurt me so she felt it was best we just played the dating scene for a while.
I told her I dont share my girls, and then broke it off, giving her an option to come back when she was ready. When we talked a couple days later, she told me that I should try and see things from her point of view: she just got out of a relationship where she was treated like crap and then she met me and Im wonderful, but shes confused and doesnt know what to do. She has a boatload of work; she worries about running her parents hair salon, and has to still deal with a psycho ex.
I told her I was sorry she has so much going on and that I would rather be someone she could rely on in her life than a problem, but I needed to know if our relationship was going somewhere because I dont want to be waiting forever. She replied I really want it go somewhere, but you have to believe me and have a little faith that I am not out slutting it up. I like you a lot.
Doc, is she worth my time? Maybe you can help me understand.
Wilton - whose head is spinning
This isnt a help letter. Its a coaching letter. If you need help, go and see someone whos got a sheepskin hanging on his wall. But if you want to find out what youre doing right and what youre doing wrong with the ladies, then allow me to be your Love Coach.
Now, why in the world are you getting serious with this girl so fast? Youre not here to be her counselor. Youre not here to change the way she lives. Youre here to be the clown. Youre here to play the court jester. In other words, youre here to boost her Interest Level in you, and thats all.
Let me make sure I got this right. You asked this girl to get rid of you three times in a row? You might have said it once in jest, but the truth is that you never should have said it at all. But you said it three times. You were beating Tracee over the head with it. Maybe shes as thick as you are and thought you were trying to be a Challenge.
Whatever happened, at that point she was all over you like a cheap suit. You werent returning all her calls, were you? You were letting her talk to your answering machine, right? I hope so, because you shouldnt have been talking to this girl. She just came off a relationship, pal. And you have to make sure that shes not on the rebound.
When you say she made all the advances in your relationship, please define your terms. Are you saying she called you once or twice a day every single day? Or are you saying she asked you out every single day and you went out with her all the time, which you shouldnt have been doing. You should have paced yourself with this girl, Wilton. You have to spoon-feed yourself because her emotions are bouncing around like a pinball.
You say you were hesitant about getting in deep. Ah-ha! Know why you were uncertain? Because there was this little angel up on your right shoulder saying Be strong! Be strong! Tell her no! And over on your left shoulder was a little devil dressed in a black suit whispering, Dont listen to Doctor Love! Shes coming at you! Take it! Take it! Take it!
But like my cousin Rabbi Love puts it, Heres the problem, my son: you didnt have enough time in with this girl to be her boyfriend. And remember too that shes on the rebound.
You dont share your girls, Wilton? Number one, this girl isnt property, and number two, she doesnt want to be your property! Tracee broke it off before you broke it off, in case you missed that important fact. Like my cousin Sal The Fish Love says, You were breaking off thin air, paisan. And you gave her the option to come back when she was ready. Very big of you, Wilton. To you Psych majors, when the girl leaves you before you leave her, shes never going to be ready to come back.
But she told you that you were wonderful so wonderful that she has low Interest Level. Doesnt that seem like a contradiction in terms? I have to tell you, Wilt, this lady speaks beautiful Womanese.
Ive got news for you, my friend. Tracees not dealing with one psycho ex. Shes dealing with two psycho exes. Like my cousin General Love says, You just joined the squad, soldier. Youre only a problem in Tracees life now because youre stalking her. The reality is that you were actually out a long, long time ago.
That said, she told you that she likes you a lot. Like my cousin Fast Eddie Love from East L.A. says, She likes you so much she wants to spend time with other men. And as the great Doctor Freud put it, You know, thats really logical!
Is Tracee worth your time? Buddy, right now youre wasting your time. And I can tell you this for sure: youve got a lot of work to do memorizing my materials.
Remember, guys: when she says shes confused, it really means youre out.
© 2008, DocLove Dot Com
I present myself to you in a form suitable to the relationship I wish to achieve with you. - Luigi Pirandello
Doc Love is a talk show host, entertainment speaker, and coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with one man versus another?" Archives for 2006, 2005, 2004, 2003, 2002, 2001, and 2000.
DocLove will answer all of your romantic love questions from a mans perspective. So set your ego aside, learn to laugh at yourself, and visit www.doclove.com or E-Mail or call me at 800.404.2644 and I will give you a snappy answer to your silly love question one loaded with truth. You do what I say, and Miss Right will rob banks for you. When I get done with you, you will need more security than Julio Iglesias. However, to protect the guilty, I promise to not use your real name, or give it out. All questions will be answered, but only the ones of general interest printed. Please be specific and dont ramble.
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