How Fast does Charlie Sheen move when He Breaks
Ive read some of your articles online and thought I might try you for some help.
After 20 years and a couple of kids, my wife decided she wants a divorce. Since I had no choice in the matter, I started online dating -- one nutcase so far and no one else of any note -- and then I met Viveca. Shes a very attractive, highly educated professional. Im really quite taken with her. Weve gone out a few times now.
Two weeks ago Viveca had the idea of doing a picnic in a local park. I picked her up at her place, and she had packed a blanket, plates, wine and we bought some bread and cheese, grapes, found a place to sit and talked for hours. We have a lot in common. Were both in our forties, were less-is-more types, we like walking around the city just taking in the sights, and we share an interest in spirituality.
I need to figure out how fast, or slow, to go with this woman. Viveca didnt invite me into her place when I dropped her off. Its a starter home and I think shes shy about showing it to me. Also, she was surprised when she learned that it will still be a few months before Im officially divorced and that my wifes still living part of the time under the same roof. She seems affectionate, but so far, just hugs.
Since Im alone next weekend with no kids, Ill ask her if she wants to come over to my place and cook with me, since we both like to cook, and maybe watch a DVD afterward. But here I am, worrying about what time to call her, whether Im overwhelming her with invitations, etc.
How fast should I move? What I dont quite understand in your articles is how I can be proactive like going for the kiss at the same time as Im trying to be a Challenge.
Whats your advice? Thanks!
Heinrich - whos just getting his feet wet
Hold it right here, pal. Before you start online dating or dating anywhere else, you have to figure out assuming your wife loved you at one time, before her Interest Level headed for Argentina how she fell out of love with you. Because like the great Doctor Freud once said, The mistakes you made while you were married are going to follow you straight into your dating life.
Now let me tell you about the Internet. The Internet is made up of people on the planet Earth. And there are all types of people on Earth. What you have to learn is that youre going to meet all kinds whack-jobs and clinically sane girls and everyone in between -- and you cant take any of it personally. Just as it would take time if you were looking for women without a computer, its going to take time to find a good one if youre searching online. As we say in sales, Its a numbers game, baby.
Viveca dreamed up a wonderful picnic, dude. Just look at the effort that she went through to put this little event together. Youre talking about the third or fourth date here, and what she did indicates that this girl is a Giver. Thats the good part. The bad part is that we still have to get to her Interest Level. And I think all these things you two have in common is likewise great, but other than the fact that she did a beautiful imitation of Martha Stewart for the picnic, we still dont have any indication of her female Interest Level. And like Ive told you guys again and again, HER INTEREST LEVEL IS THE ONLY THING THAT MATTERS.
How fast do you go with Viveca? The great thing about The System is that if you follow it step by step, youre always going to pace yourself and youre going to proceed at the correct speed. But dont worry. Ill guide you on how fast or slow to move with this woman.
Lets look at what happened with Vivecas house. Maybe her place was a mess. Maybe she was painting or having new toilets installed. Whatever it wasnt necessary for her to invite you in. The main thing is that she threw a nice picnic for you. When you say she was shy, I think that youre grasping for straws for why she didnt invite you in. It would have been nice, of course, but you cant interpret it as a negative yet because youve only had three dates with the woman.
Why did the fact that youre not divorced yet only come out during the picnic? I dont like surprises, Heinrich. Like my cousin General Love says, Soldier, surprises arent good except on the battlefield. When you first met you should have told her, By the way, Viveca, the paperwork is going to be finished in six months. This information shouldnt be coming out later when youre trying to build her Interest Level. You should get all the negatives out of the way during your first meeting. Make light of it and then go on to something else.
Her behavior seems affectionate to you? Like my cousin Fast Eddie Love from East L.A. says, Hugs aint affectionate, man. But I have to ask you this: why didnt you kiss her on the second date? What were you afraid of? Maybe youre just looking for a friend and dont know it.
Forget the whole cooking date at your place, Heinrich. Youre trying to get cozy with Viveca way too fast. Shes not coming to your house. Like my cousin Sal The Fish Love says, Nothing turns her off faster than your kids or wife walking in when youre baking the quiche. Instead, youre going to take her out to another public place. And by the way, this aggressive behavior is typical of all you guys. You want to move things along way too fast. This isnt the eleventh date -- this is the fourth date. Like the old cowboy saying goes, Slow down, pardner!
Youre not overwhelming Viveca with invitations. You had a couple of dates with her. So you wait a week, then you call her again and you ask her out to do something else. That isnt exactly smothering the woman.
So youre confused about kissing this girl. Lets say she tried to kiss you halfway through the date. Youd go ahead and kiss her, wouldnt you? Youd kiss her for three or four seconds and youd stop. So thats what you do now. You kiss her at her front door, but youre not going to be out there mauling her in public. Dont worry youll still be a Challenge if you follow my techniques.
Remember, guys: when youve memorized The System, you know how fast you should move.
© 2007, DocLove Dot Com
I present myself to you in a form suitable to the relationship I wish to achieve with you. - Luigi Pirandello
Doc Love is a talk show host, entertainment speaker, and coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with one man versus another?" Archives for 2006, 2005, 2004, 2003, 2002, 2001, and 2000.
DocLove will answer all of your romantic love questions from a mans perspective. So set your ego aside, learn to laugh at yourself, and visit www.doclove.com or E-Mail or call me at 800.404.2644 and I will give you a snappy answer to your silly love question one loaded with truth. You do what I say, and Miss Right will rob banks for you. When I get done with you, you will need more security than Julio Iglesias. However, to protect the guilty, I promise to not use your real name, or give it out. All questions will be answered, but only the ones of general interest printed. Please be specific and dont ramble.
Menstuff® is a registered trademark of Gordon Clay
©1996-2019, Gordon Clay