Women Don't Lie,
Men Don't Listen

What does Hugh Grant do when She has a Boyfriend?

Hey Doc,

Thanks for your wonderful contributions to men!

I’ve been doing business with Felicia for four months. During our meetings at her office, we’ve been flirting with each other. She laughs at every stupid thing I say, we’re always staring at each other, she plays with her hair, likes to whisper secrets in my ears and so on.

I decided to ask her out to dinner to thank her for work well done.

She declined and told me that it was against her company’s rules to accept gifts while business is still being transacted. However, she suggested that we could have dinner in a month when our business was concluded.

Meanwhile, she gave me her cell phone number and requested mine. During conversations with my brother, who is also involved in my business, she was asking personal questions about me.

Recently, Felicia asked me to meet her at a cafe. I went, and even though I was two hours late, she was still there waiting on me. She complimented me on my new hair style and my clothes since that was the first time she ever saw me outside of a business environment. However, while we were discussing my desire to quit smoking, she stated that her boyfriend just recently quit smoking.

This is what I love to refer to as the “B” Bomb. I had no clue! Nevertheless, our meeting went very well, and she suggested that we meet again. Just today I received a call from her asking me to meet her at a landmark of my choice to discuss more business. I suggested that she could come to my house, which she accepted.

Doc, what should I do now? Should I tell her how I really feel about her when she comes to my house? Or should I wait until our business is concluded? And how do I handle the “B” Bomb? I am in love with this gal.

Please help!

Abel - who feels like he has to make his move

Hi Abel,

This is absolutely fantastic! Since you spent time naturally with Felicia and weren’t trying to put the moves on her, she had the opportunity to discover how great you are! And that’s why she’s playing with you now. Like my Uncle Jethro Love says, “This Kitty Kat is purring!”

It was a good move to offer to take Felicia out for dinner as a reward for work well done. The problem is that you weren’t finished transacting your business with her. The dinner should come after all the work is already done, pal. You tried to close with the reward too soon. As usual, you, like most men, showed no Self-Control. What have I told you guys a thousand times? YOU HAVE TO MOVE IN SLOWLY.

Felicia’s suggestion that you get together for dinner in a month when you’re finally through with business is called a beautiful counter-offer. So what are you going to do? You’re not going to wait a month. You’re going to wait FIVE WEEKS before you call her.

You talked to your brother about this girl? I hope you didn’t tell him anything. Because it’s going to go straight back to her, and you’re going to screw everything up. Like the old Chinese proverb goes, “Even brothers can’t keep their mouths shut, grasshopper!” And like my cousin Brother Love down in Watts says, “Didn’t you ever hear the one about Cain and Abel? You best go back to the Good Book, dawg!”

Felicia’s invitation to meet at a cafe was incoming – beautiful! But hold on here. You were two hours late meeting her? How in the world could you be two hours late? If you were supposed to meet this girl at three o’clock, let’s say, you knew at 12:30 you weren’t going to make it. You should have phoned her and called the date off. You don’t leave anybody waiting for two hours, Abel. What I can’t believe is how stupid this girl is for waiting on you! Like my cousin Sal “The Fish” Love says, “Nobody hangs around for two hours -- except for the groupies waiting for the guys in the band.”

Felicia’s compliments about your hairdo and duds were more buying signals. Nice. But how the heck did she find out that you smoked? And why in the world are you trumpeting a major flaw in your personality? And not only that, but the filthiest habit you can ever have? Six-fifty a pack, man! The headliner in your car, the ceiling of your house, and your clothes all smell of smoke, and you’re bringing this up and telling this girl that you have this battle going on, this great big conflict inside yourself? I hope you remember to tell her your mouth tastes like an ashtray before you try to kiss her. Why does she know this weakness about you? To you Psych majors, you’re supposed to tell her only the GOOD THINGS. Abel, it’s funny that you compliment me on my contributions to men, but my words go in one ear and out the other.

What you should have said when Felicia dropped her bomb was “You have a boyfriend? I can’t believe it! What a coincidence! Because I have a girlfriend! So tell me about the guy.”

Of course you were clueless about the boyfriend in the background. You’re not supposed to have a clue about this girl’s boyfriend. You don’t know anything about her, pal! You’ve just been doing business with her for four months – you haven’t been prying into her social life.

Despite her boyfriend, she wanted to meet you again. Like my cousin Fast Eddie Love from East L.A. says, “Well, one thing I can say about this babe is that she’s loaded with loyalty!”

It’s good that Felicia wants to come your house. Now get the maid and the painter in, and make that place look sharp! And while you’re at it, Abel, buy some flowers and deodorizer to kill the smell of all those Camels and Marlboro Lights.

But let me get this straight. You want to tell a girl who has a boyfriend that you like her? What are you thinking, pal? Is what I teach you guys really that complex? Is “The System” just too hard for you to understand?

Abel, if Felicia is calling you and asking you out, she is biting hard. Which means the other guy is on the way out. Or like my cousin Rabbi Love says, “My son, this lady wouldn’t be caught dead in an ethics class!”

So what you’re going to do is go out with Felicia every time she calls you. But you’re not going to ask her out.

Remember, guys: if she has a boyfriend, make sure she chases you – at all times.

© 2010, DocLove Dot Com 

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I present myself to you in a form suitable to the relationship I wish to achieve with you. - Luigi Pirandello

Doc Love is a talk show host, entertainment speaker, and coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with one man versus another?" Archives for 2006, 2005, 2004, 2003, 2002, 2001, and 2000.

DocLove will answer all of your romantic love questions from a man’s perspective. So set your ego aside, learn to laugh at yourself, and visit www.doclove.com or E-Mail or call me at 800.404.2644 and I will give you a snappy answer to your silly love question – one loaded with truth. You do what I say, and Miss Right will rob banks for you. When I get done with you, you will need more security than Julio Iglesias. However, to protect the guilty, I promise to not use your real name, or give it out. All questions will be answered, but only the ones of general interest printed. Please be specific and don’t ramble.

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