Does Charlie Sheen Keep Calling Denise Richards?
I started seeing Dana two months ago, which was about six months after her ex, walked out on her and their baby. When it first started we were just friends, and eventually it turned into something that I would like to see go somewhere. Dana is a sweetheart and genuinely cares about me, and tells me that she wants to be with me. Since she has a young child I have accepted the fact that I will always be number two in her life, but that doesnt bother me at all.
Now heres the problem. Two weeks ago we were out on a date and her ex, who Ill call Johnny, started calling her on her cell phone and telling her how much he missed her, how he couldnt live without her, and how he needed her back. This really upset me because our night started off great, but then I could see that these calls were wearing on her. Since then hes been calling her 30 to 40 times per day, telling her the same things, and acting like a selfish jackass. Its gotten so bad at her job that last week her boss told her she couldnt come back to work until she got a restraining order on him, which she did.
Doc, this is what its come down to. Danas ex has somehow gotten my phone number, and he leaves me messages about how his family is all he has left and he has nothing else in his life. This guy uses drugs and has no job, to boot. Frankly, I feel somewhat sorry for him. If he wasnt bugging me so much, Id really feel sorry for him.
So basically my question is, how I can go about letting Dana know that she needs to make a decision to choose me or him, without pushing her away? Their child seems to be the glue that keeps this absurd situation going. This is something that I have thought about a lot, as our relationship has progressed and I am at a loss for what I should do.
Thanks in advance for your thoughts.
Blackie - whos afraid of pushing too hard
Danas kids got some daddy. Heres a man who walks out of his house and leaves his baby, who he allegedly loves, behind -- and Im not talking about the older one. Wow, what a guy.
We know that you want to see this relationship go somewhere, Blackie, but the problem is that we dont care what you want. Like Ive told you guys many, many times before, all we care about is what the girl thinks. Whats her Interest Level -- 95% or in the toilet? So merely by the fact that you brought this up I realize that you dont know anything.
You cant worry about being number two in Danas life. Shes not in love with her child. But like my cousin Rabbi Love says, If you want to be romantically involved with this girl, you should leave her alone until her daughter is 18, then come back.
Now lets get into whats happening. Dana respects and loves you so much she cant bring herself to turn off her cell phone. Does this make any sense whatsoever? To you Psych majors, most men rationalize slights and putdowns.
But youre selfless, Blackie. Youre upset because Johnnys telephone calls were wearing poor Dana down. Dude, why arent they wearing you down? Not because of the fact that the calls were incoming, but because of the fact that shes taking them, and its blowing your love life apart before it has the chance to get off the ground.
Now look at what Johnny is doing. Hes so bad (and remember, this is the father of Danas kid, the man she laid down with!) that hes destroying her job. So heres what you should be asking yourself: what was wrong with Dana that she found this turkey so attractive going in? Whyd she pick this loser in the first place? Whats her problem? And thats what most men dont ask. But Im here to make you wake up and smell the jungle gardenias.
Youre mystified by how Danas ex got hold of your phone number. Blackie, how in the world do you think he got your phone number? Dont you think maybe your girlfriend helped Johnny out? Like my cousin Sal The Fish Love says, Maybe she got so sick of listening to him that she told him to call you.
When Danas ex told you that he had nothing left in the world without his wife and kid, you know what my cousin Fast Eddie Love would have said? Give me your address, man. Ill mail you a knife so you can commit hari-kari.
So this boy is a dope head and has no job? Wow -- now I can see why Dana digs him so much and decided to carry his baby! That clears it all up! Now I get it! Like my cousin Reverend Love would say, Its a match made in Hell.
But on a more serious note, you feel sorry for the poor chap. Blackie, you should feel sorry for yourself that youre in love with someone, as the establishment would put it, who has issues. But no, youre heart is bleeding for Johnny. Let me ask you a question: what does this have to do with Christmas?
Despite it all, you want Dana to decide about you one way or the other. Like my cousin Rabbi Love says, Never go out with someone who has more problems than you. This girl is supposed to bring happy times and sanity into your existence and shes bringing you nothing but TROUBLE. Her ex is going to come over to your house with six of his buddies and their aluminum bats and theyre going to lay a beating on your car, or worse you. Like my cousin Brother Love down in Watts says, Dog, she gave out your phone number to her ex. Id hate to see what hell do when she gives him your address!
There are some men who cannot handle women. Johnny-boy is one of them. When he makes calls to his ex to the point where her boss wants to let Dana go, theres only one conclusion you can arrive at -- this guys a first-class wingding. But like I said earlier, Danas not without blame here, Blackie. Remember the old saying, Water seeks its own level?
Danas child is not keeping this absurd situation together. Its the babys mothers high Interest Level in this nut-case that keeps it alive.
Want my advice? Like the old cowboy saying goes, Grab the fastest horse in town and say Adios!
Remember, guys: if her ex is stalking her, its best not to get involved.
© 2009, DocLove Dot Com
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Doc Love is a talk show host, entertainment speaker, and coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with one man versus another?" He is the author of the Master Series, available at www.doclove.com Archives for 2007, 2006, 2005, 2004, 2003, 2002, 2001, and 2000.
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