Women Don't Lie,
Men Don't Listen

Do Girls ever want to be "Just Friends" with Daniel Craig?


Hi Doc,

I met Julianne at work and I always thought we were just friends. I’m an airline pilot, by the way, and she works at one of the airports I fly to on a regular basis. In the past she talked about her boyfriend and, from my experience, whenever a girl mentions her boyfriend it’s another way of saying, “Don’t ask me out -- I’m already taken.”

Nevertheless, we’re both huge animal lovers and always talk about our pets whenever we see each other. In the past month the following things have happened that make me wonder if Julianne wants to be more than just friends.

1. I bumped into one of her coworkers and he said that “Julianne absolutely loves you. She loves the way you love animals so much.”

2. She has a pair of hedgehogs that are going to have a litter. She offered to give me one and then, without my asking, gave me her phone number “in case I had any questions.”

3. One of my pilot friends who just flew in from that airport said, “Julianne really likes you. She says you’re her favorite pilot.”

4. She wants to go to a bear sanctuary in Utah and said, “Maybe you could come with me.”

5. Yesterday she sent me an e-mail in which she said “We should get married and build a big house in the woods.”

Keep in mind that we have never even been out together. I’m flattered by her attention, but I’m wondering why she’s talking about getting married when we’ve never even been on a date. The problem is that I’m really attracted to her and I’d like to get together with her.

In the past I’ve never used your book to transition from being “just friends” to a formal relationship with any girl. Doc, what do you think I should do? Thanks in advance for your thoughts.

Valdemar - who doesn’t know how to read her

Hi Valdemar,

You might be right about what a woman means when she mentions her boyfriend. It might indeed be a huge warning sign not to come near her, but there’s a second choice you haven’t thought of. It could also mean “Ask me out, bring me gifts, worship me, but I’m not leaving him!”

Now let’s look at what happened that has you so confused.

When Julianne’s coworker relayed all of her compliments to you, you should have asked him “So did you ask her out yet?”

And she wants to give you a hedgehog at no charge. What you have to realize is that this girl is a veterinarian down deep, you just don’t know it. If you hooked up with her, you’d be competing with raccoons and Great Danes for her attention for the rest of your life.

Then Julianne went and told your pilot friend that she thinks that you’re the greatest aviator since Howard Hughes. She can’t seem to stop trumpeting how wonderful you are. According to her, you’re the best thing since sausage pizza. Well, Valdemar, one thing we know for sure about this girl is that she has a BIG mouth.

Next, Julianne wants you to play Grizzly Man to her Grizzly Woman. Like my Uncle Jethro Love says, “Can you imagine what a grizzly bear could do to your body if it got you alone?”

And there’s one last thing. Julianne wants to get married and build a house with you in the wilderness. Whoa. Here’s your problem, pal. This girl’s coming on way too slow. Her buying signals aren’t strong enough.

Guys, you have to realize that there are lots of people walking around who are good, upstanding Americans. They vote and they pay their taxes. They study very hard in school and they never break the law. But they’re not long-term material.

Let’s look at what’s really happening here. Julianne is going from “just friends” straight to the altar. And you two haven’t even had a first date? Did she even take a breath between those two thoughts? Know what, Valdemar? This broad is a L-O-O-N. As in KOOK. Like my cousin Rabbi Love says, “Where do you fellows find these girls?”

The good part is that you’re getting wads of buying signals here, my friend. But unfortunately there’s a bad part. I know this will be hard for you guys to take, but this is an advanced class: you have TOO many buying signals.

This girl’s got low self-esteem. She’s needy. She can’t keep her mouth shut. Like my cousin Brother down in Watts says, “Bro, you can’t live with this kind of girl.”

Julianne can think about love, but I don’t want her acting on it. I want her to practice some Self-Control instead of spilling all over the place.

What should you do, Valdemar? You’ve got a plane, right? You should fly it to Katmandu.

You may not see it clearly now, but this babe is trouble. She has the right Interest Level, but when it comes to the Baggage and Scar Division, she’s on the board of directors. My little sister wouldn’t give a guy this many buying signals. She might tell one coworker she likes a guy, but not two or three. And she certainly wouldn’t blab to everyone that she wants to go up on a mountain and run around with grizzly bears. And here’s something else. Like my cousin Sal “The Fish” Love says, “You have to wonder how many other turkeys she tells this to.”

Julianne’s not leading you on, buddy. But she’s a whack-job. To you Psych majors, everything this girl is doing is overdone. It’s out of balance. She’s hitting you with way too much too soon. And like the great Doctor Freud once said, “It means that between her ears something isn’t wired right.”

On the other hand, maybe she’s been in the woods too long. Or as my cousin Fast Eddie Love would say, “You ran out of coke.”

Remember, guys: if they come on too strong too fast, you’re going to pay for it later.

© 2008, DocLove Dot Com 

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I present myself to you in a form suitable to the relationship I wish to achieve with you. - Luigi Pirandello

Doc Love is a talk show host, entertainment speaker, and coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with one man versus another?" He is the author of the Master Series, available at www.doclove.com Archives for 2007, 2006, 2005, 2004, 2003, 2002, 2001, and 2000.



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