Women Don't Lie,
Men Don't Listen

It Worked Out for Brangelina, Didn't it?

Hey Doc,

I’ve learned a lot from reading your articles. I hope that you can help me with a major dilemma I’m caught in.

Up until now I haven’t had many problems in the love department. I have a girlfriend of four years who I’ll call Venus. We have a great relationship and have hopes for a great future. But recently a new girl, Shakira, has shown up in my life and confused everything.

Shakira started working with me at my job. We talked, and then I made a small move on her. To make a long story short, I played my cards right by not calling her immediately, which drove her Interest Level higher. She even asked me why I didn’t call her right away and I responded that I was busy.

Now Doc, this girl is a beauty and all the guys at work love her and are after her. I try not to show it as much as they do, which has worked because she has told me that she likes me.

On our first night out, we kissed. The problem is that she has a boyfriend of five years and here she’s messing around with me. And of course I have Venus, but I’m really falling in love with Shakira. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want Shakira’s Interest Level to go down because I’m still young, 23, and want to take advantage of life. I think Shakira feels the same about me.

I didn’t really want to fall for Shakira, but I’m weak. Do you think I should tell her to break up with her boyfriend now? If she does, then I’ll have to let Venus go. Do double breakups ever work out? Please tell me what I should do.

Shawn - who’s losing sleep over the two of them

Hi Shawn,

You said you haven’t had many problems in the love game. Dude, if you’re memorizing my material you shouldn’t have ANY problems with love, ever!

Shakira hasn’t confused everything in your life, pal. She just confused YOU. And here you have a good girl for four good years and you’re ready to just throw her aside for somebody else who’s a complete stranger. What’s wrong with you? What are you thinking? Are you thinking at all?

But you did one thing right, Shawn. Telling Shakira that you were busy when she wanted you to fall all over her was perfect. Any time a girl asks you why you haven’t done something, just remember to say those two magic words: “I’m busy.” Beautiful, Shawn – well, so far, anyway.

We don’t care what the other guys in your office are after, man. All we’re concerned about is who Shakira likes. That said, isn’t it wonderful that the girl you’re in love with is messing around with you when she has a long-term boyfriend? Like my cousin Sal “The Fish” Love says, “This is like double adultery.” And can you imagine all the other guys Shakira is dating?

You’re not falling in love with Shakira, pal. Like the great Doctor Freud once said, “All you’re falling in love with is newness and novelty.”

Sure, you’re young and want to take advantage of life, my friend. We all do. But you got a problem here – such as that Shakira has a boyfriend of five years. Until that boyfriend is out of the picture and gone, this girl is not available. And until your girlfriend is gone, you’re not available. So what we have here is a pair of unavailable people betraying the partners they’re supposed to be loyal to. Like my cousin General Love says, “Gee, I’d hate to be next to either one of you in a foxhole!”

And wait just a minute here. What do you mean you think Shakira feels the same about you as you feel about her? Shawn, you have no clue what’s going on between this babe’s ears. You’re just at the same job as she is and you’ve had a couple of measly dates. In other words, you know nothing whatsoever about this girl.

But you claim that you’re weak. You’re not weak, Shawn. Like my cousin Rabbi Love says, “You just love beauty, my son, that’s all.”

Do I think you should tell Shakira to break up with her boyfriend? No, you shouldn’t mention the boyfriend at all. But if she says yes when you ask her to dump her man, you’d better be ready for the consequences – all of the consequences, and you can bet they’re going to happen. If Shakira agrees to getting rid of her boyfriend, you’ll have to let Venus go. Then Shakira will go back to her boyfriend when she gets bored with you, and you’ll go back to your girlfriend. Shakira’s boyfriend will take her back because she looks like Gisele Bundchen’s younger sister, but your girlfriend isn’t going to take you back because you’re nothing at all like Tom Brady. So now you’ve gone from one girl to none when you were trying to go from one girlfriend to two. Think about it, Shawn.

Do double breakups ever work out? It might have worked for Brad and Angelina, but numerically, the odds are horribly against it.

What should you do about this whole thing? First of all, stop flirting with Shakira. Then go home and make a list of all the great things you have with Venus and start thinking about the idea of LOYALTY. If you can’t be loyal, guy, then get rid of your girl. You should be getting rid of your girl because you don’t like her anymore or you’re completely bored with her, not because you found somebody who appears to be better. And you can’t even compare them because your girlfriend has four years in with you and this new girl only has a couple of hours in. Duh.

So now you’re ready to make a long-term decision about two women while you’re in a highly emotional state. Like my Uncle Jethro Love says, “Boy, you ain’t thinkin’ straight -- that’s what this new girl done to you!”

Remember, guys: loyalty is numero uno.

© 2007, DocLove Dot Com 

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I present myself to you in a form suitable to the relationship I wish to achieve with you. - Luigi Pirandello

Doc Love is a talk show host, entertainment speaker, and coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with one man versus another?" Archives for 2006, 2005, 2004, 2003, 2002, 2001, and 2000.

DocLove will answer all of your romantic love questions from a man’s perspective. So set your ego aside, learn to laugh at yourself, and visit www.doclove.com or E-Mail or call me at 800.404.2644 and I will give you a snappy answer to your silly love question – one loaded with truth. You do what I say, and Miss Right will rob banks for you. When I get done with you, you will need more security than Julio Iglesias. However, to protect the guilty, I promise to not use your real name, or give it out. All questions will be answered, but only the ones of general interest printed. Please be specific and don’t ramble.

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