Guidance for Grown-ups. Menstuff® has gathered information and websites that are geared to parents of children and adolescence. This is not a site for children.

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A Personal Reporter to Ask Your Questions
English Teachers -Contest
Make the World Safe for Children
Children Act Fast...So Do Poisons!
Kid-Friendly Internet Domain
Only Dumb Parents Don't Wear Helmets
New Booster Seat Law for Kids 4-6 and 40-60 lbs
Unwanted Calls During that Talk With Your Kid
Bidis Banned in Illinois
Missing Children
NFL for Kids
Flag Football for Girls, Too
The Miracle of a Brother's Song
Urgent Information
MA Call for a Boycott of All Simon & Schuster Products
Recall - Burger King Pokémon Ball
Limited Time - Free Book - Smart Parents Safe Children
Halloween Safety Tips
Know Fear
Taking Your Kids Out of the U.S. (New rules)
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Fathers & Daughters

Fathers & Sons

Father's Day
Toy Purchasing, Toy Safety, and Holiday Decoration Safety
Best Videos, Software, Spoken Word Albums - The 1998 National Parenting Publications Awards to the finest children's products by medium by category.
Movie Ratings for Kids

Resources materials
Youth Organizations & Links See also Abuse Resources, Hotlines for additional listings.
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Special Events - Workshops, Retreats, Vision Quests for kids and teens

English Teachers - Contest

Trying to get kids to write, sometimes, can be a tough assignment. But here's a twist. We created six original bumper stickers and two original T-shirts. They were easy and fun to do, and each one carries a message that we wanted people to know about. Here's how it could apply to your class.

The Know Fear bumper sticker or T-shirt is a very important topic for this age group because they are the ones buying and wearing No Fear clothing. The way we talk about it is that it is better to Know Fear, than make a dumb mistake, which could be deadly. It is a foolish thing to ignore a natural warning from your body. And, you could use the idea of the Samurai that is included on the page with the bumper sticker. You could go as far as getting local homicide, drinking, inhaling, suicide, and pregnancy numbers of preteens in your county or state as background. (See the National Statistics.) The ratio of male to female deaths are can be accessed here and show how "No Fear" plays out in life for young men.

A good English lesson is to hold up the Know Fear sticker and ask everyone to write 25 words on what it means. Then, someone who you know knows the difference between "Know" and "No" reads theirs. Then, without reading others, especially those that didn't see the difference, talk about Knowing Fear. Then present the idea about the contest and the prize. It's a very interesting thing to get preteens and teens thinking about.

NFL for Kids

This is part of the NFL web site, specifially designed for kids. Topics include: Punt Pass & Kick, Under The Helmet, Be A Player, Football Facts, Games, and Get Involved. There are Reports, MVP, Play of the Week, and Steve Young talking about sportsmanship. There's Flag Football complete with a schedule for boys and girls 10-11, boys 12-14 and girls 12-14, an NFL Flag Handbook and more. Check it out.

Flag Football for Girls, Too

Here's your chance to be a national champion! NFL Flag Regional Tournaments & National Championship are here! The NFL is proud to announce that the NFL Flag Regional Tournaments and a National Championship will take place this fall. The tournaments are open to boys and girls ages 10-11, boys 12-14 and girls 12-14.

Coaches and Parents - find out everything you need to know to start, operate or coach an NFL Flag league.

Only Dumb Parents Don't Wear Helmets

731 (98%) of bicyclists killed each year in crashes with vehicles thought that their skull was so strong that it didn't need a helmet. Guess they thought wrong. There's dumb and then there's dumber - the ones that are alive and still not wearing a helmet. For the others, note that accidents increase in summer so take extra care. Buckle on - a helmet, that is.

Booster Seat Law for Kids 4-6 and 40-60 lbs

Oregon recently enacted a new booster seat law that will take effect 1/1/02. All children between the ages of 4-6 and 40-60 pounds, must be in an approved booster seat when riding in a motor vehicle. The new law covers any vehicle driven within the state of Oregon whether registered in Oregon or any other state. The new law was enacted as a result of studies of traffic accidents through the U.S. Once children reached 4 years old and 40 pounds they were riding in the regular safety belt system and they were being injured. These studies show that regular safety belt systems are structured for a larger size body.

Unwanted Calls During that Talk With Your Kid

You don't get the chance very often when both of you can sit down for a good talk. Everyone else is out. It's just the two of you. Then, the phone rings. It's one of those telemarketers. You're on their list and they know that dinner time is a good time to nab you. You're not interested and hang up. Then, the phone rings again. Sure, you can turn the ringer off but it might be an important call. It's not.

Well, the Oregon Legislature enacted the No Call Law in 1999 which gives residential phone customers the opportunity to get on the "No Call List" and get off telemarketers' lists. Companies that call homes on the No Call List are subject to fines up to $25,000. To date, the Oregon Attorney General has fined more than 70 companies more than $200,000 (about $3,000 each) for violating the No Call Law. Oregon residential phone customers may subscribe or receive additional information about the list by calling 877.700.6633 or through By paying a $6.50 non-refundable registration fee, you can place a residential telephone number on the Oregon "No Call" List for a period of one year. This registration fee must be paid for each telephone number you wish to have included on the List. You will be notified when it is time to renew your registration; the renewal fee is $3 per year. Registration forms are available in Spanish and English. By law, you cannot register a business phone number on the list. While the List is updated weekly, it is published for telemarketers on a quarterly basis (first day of January, April, July, and October). Sign up now. And, let us know if your state has a similar system and we will add it to the web.

The Miracle of a Brother's Song

Like any good mother, when Karen found out that another baby was on the way, she did what she could to help her 3-year-old son, Michael, prepare for a new sibling. They found out that the new baby was going to be a girl, and day after day, night after night, Michael sang to his sister in Mommy's tummy. He was building a bond of love with his little sister before he even met her. The pregnancy progressed normally for Karen. In time, the labor pains came. Soon it was every five minutes, every three...every minute. But serious complications arose during delivery and Karen found herself in hours of labor. Would a C-section be required? Finally, after a long struggle, Michael's little sister was born. But she was in very serious condition. With a siren howling in the night, the ambulance rushed the infant to the neonatal intensive care unit at St. Mary's Hospital, Knoxville, Tennessee.

The days inched by. The little girl got worse. The pediatrician had to tell the parents, "There is very little hope. Be prepared for the worst." Karen and her husband contacted a local cemetery about a burial plot. They had fixed up a special room in their house for their new baby but now they found themselves having to plan for a funeral. Michael, however, kept begging his parents to let him see his sister. "I want to sing to her," he kept saying. Week two in intensive care looked as if a funeral would come before the week was over. Michael kept nagging about singing to his sister, but kids are never allowed in Intensive Care. Karen made up her mind, though. She would take Michael whether they liked it or not! If he didn't see his sister right then, he may never see her alive. She dressed him in an oversized scrub suit and marched him into ICU. He looked like a walking laundry basket. But the head nurse recognized him as a child and bellowed, "Get that kid out of here now! No children are allowed." Karen, and the usually mild-mannered lady glared steel-eyes right into the head nurse's face, her lips a firm line. "He is not leaving until he sings to his sister!" Karen towed Michael to his sister's bedside. He gazed at the tiny infant losing the battle to live. After a moment, he began to sing. In the pure-hearted voice of a 3-year-old, Michael sang: "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are gray---" instantly the baby girl seemed to respond. The pulse rate began to calm down and become steady. "Keep on singing, Michael," encouraged Karen with tears in her eyes. "You never know, dear, how much I love you, Please don't take my sunshine away." As Michael sang to his sister, the baby's ragged, strained breathing became as smooth as a kitten's purr. "Keep on singing, sweetheart!!!" "The other night, dear, as I lay sleeping, I dreamed I held you in my arms..." Michael's little sister began to relax as rest, healing rest, seemed to sweep over her. "Keep on singing, Michael." Tears had now conquered the face of the bossy head nurse. Karen glowed. "You are my sunshine, my only Sunshine. Please don't, take my sunshine away..." The next, day...the very next day...the little girl was well enough to go home! Woman's Day Magazine called it "The Miracle of a Brother's Song." The medical staff just called it a miracle. Karen called it a miracle of God's love! Never give up on the people you love. Love is so incredibly powerful! (Editor:  When I was 1 1/2 years old, my father snuck me in to the isolation ward for a last visit with my mother who was dying of Lukemia. It couldn't save her, but it's sure made a life-long impression on me.)

Know Fear

The attached T-shirt designs give another perspective around "fear", to challenge those who want to teach our children not to feel fear. It's more than just a marketing campaign for a clothing line. It's an effort, knowingly or unknowingly, to desensitize children so that they can be manipulated into doing things against their inherent nature. Children who are encouraged not to feel all feelings develop into dysfunctional adults.

The idea for these T-shirt decals all started at the major wrestling championship in Southern California. There were lots of "No-fear" T-shirts and caps around. The air-brusher was busy putting "No Fear" on the back of event T-shirts along with cartoon bulldogs with fangs and puffed out muscles and other such images. Many of the end users were thin, small muscled boys getting ready to "be tough". Well, I decided to have my own T-shirt designed and wear it at the event (No Fear, No Tears, Die Numb). I had a number of parents and young wrestlers thank me for reminding them about the value and importance of fear - how ignoring it or pushing it out of the way can create unnecessary dangers. How the great Samurai know fear and don't hide form it but bring it out in front, put it on the end of their sword, and cut with it. This design is an improvement on the original air-brushed design. From there, I designed a second one to change the emphasis from "No Fear" to "Know Fear". You can down-load the individual design for the back of a T-shirt or a whole sheet of smaller logos that you can print-out, cut up into individual iron-ons to put on the front of a T-shirt where a breast pocket would go and give the others to friends to do the same.

Here's your chance to get involved by making your own T-shirt, then wear it and feel your own feelings. And, encourage others to feel theirs. When the opportunity presents itself, talk about the importance of feelings, especially fear. Remember the words of Hannah Arendt, "Fear is an emotion indispensable for survival." All feelings are good - fear, pain, sadness, joy and anger. It's the behaviors that we use to demonstrate the feelings that need to be looked out. For instance, anger is a feeling. Violence is not a feeling. It is a behavior. There are many other ways anger can be expressed that are healthy yet non-violent. So, it is the behaviors we need to work with. Think about it! And, make your T-shirt today!

Free "Know Fear" bumper sticker. Fear helps us prevent stupid mistakes and injuries. So, order one of these FREE bumper stickers. Put it on your car. And, when the opportunity presents itself, take about fear - how ignoring it or pushing it out of the way can create unnecessary dangers. How the great Samurai know fear and don't hide from it but bring it out in front, put it on the end of their sword, and cut with it. Feel your own feelings. And encourage others to feel theirs. All feelings are good - fear, pain, sadness, joy and anger. It's the behaviors that we need to work with. Send a SASE for your FREE 6 3/4 x 3" "Know Fear" bumper sticker. The National Men's Resource Center, PO Box 800, San Anselmo, CA 94979. (Also, see how to make your own Know Fear T-shirt - see"T-Shirts" below.)

A Call for a Boycott of all Simon & Schuster Products

Simon & Schuster Interactive has a new CD-ROM called Panty Raider. We have been unable to speak to a human but left several messages (see contacts below). We were able to confirm the following from their website, . At we learned it is planned for May, 2000 and the ISBN is 0-743-50293-0. At it said, and we quote "Three crazed aliens arrive from a planet far, far away. Their mission: get photos of specific supermodels in specific lingerie. Yes! It's Panty Raider and you play Nelson, the mild mannered Earthling who must fulfill the alien's mission -- or they will destroy planet Earth!" We left our feedback at Then, the big find. Here are direct quotes from Simon & Schuster Interactive: "Save earth with supermodel's panties...Gamers will Seek Out Supermodels to Strip Them Down to Their Bra and Panties...aliens telling Nelson which girls, wearing what underwear he will need to photograph for that mission..."  We can use "Use cheesy pickup lines to lure models out of the woods...X-Ray glasses...allowing the player to see what kind of underwear each girl is wearing, before they go through the process of undressing her...The secret substance that is thrown at the models and mysteriously removes their clothing...Lures - Items such as tiny mints (lunch!) and credit cards. No self-respecting supermodel can resist these items."  If you want more, go to

From making fun of anorexia to objectifying girls to assuming that boys just want titillation from computer games, Panty Raider is a disgrace.

DADs executive director Joe Kelly added that the game is also offensive to fathers of sons. "We don't see the humor or fun in glorifying what Panty Raider calls 'hormone driven anger' in boys, especially after tragedies like the Columbine shootings. We are offended when our sons are repeatedly subjected to the destructive stereotypes of boys objectifying females, placing titillation above all else, and using violence or its threat to get their way."

Where does it stop?  S&S Interacative is also the proud distributors of Last Call which teaches kids how to mix drinks and get all their friends drunk. Some fun, eh?

Action You Can Take

Thanks to Joe Kelly of Dads and Daughters for the heads-up on this. You can read the full letter Dads and Daughters wrote to Simon & Schuster Interactive at E-mail, click here or call 1-888-824-DADS (Homepage).



See additional books under 13thGen, Adolescence, Children, Abuse-boys, Abuse-child, Fathers & Daughters, Fathers & Sons, Mentoring, and Ritual Initiation. Also see the following reference books:

Great Books for African-America Children Pamela Toussaint. Buy this book!

Great Books for Boys: More than 600 books for boys 2 to 14, Kathleen Odean. Buy This Book!

Great Books for Girls: more than 600 books to inspire today's girls and tomorrow's women, Kathleen Odean. Buy This Book!

Resources Materials

"Make the World Safe for Children™" Bumper Sticker

"Know Fear" Bumper Sticker

I made my life's mission statement into a three color bumper sticker with writing that looks like it was done with a crayon. It's to remind everyone of the tenderness and daintiness of a child and their right to live in a totally safe world - safe from any kind of perpetration by anyone, moms, dads, siblings, teachers, clergy, anyone. $3 each. Quantity discounts available.

British Columbia, Canada, England, Hungary, US

Special Events

We strongly recommend involving your teen or tweenager in one of these powerful programs! Click on the name of the retreat if you want to know more about it. Following our list of events that have happened over the years and we have provided some other events we haven't heard from yet and contact numbers, if you want to contact them directly. Be sure to contact the organizatoins for the most recent information and to insure that they are happening this year.

CA, Berkeley, Feb 3-6, Thu nite parents, Sat & Sun AM kids, Sun afternoon demo for adults. Kidpower Weekend Family Workshop 6-14

CA, Palo Alto Feb 13, Sun, 12:30-2:30 pm Kidpower Parent-Child Workshop for Children ages 4-7

CA, Berkeley Feb 13, Sun 12 to 5:30p Teenpower Full Force Workshop for Daughters

CA, Santa Cruz Feb 27, Sun 12 to 4 pm, Kidpower Introductory Full Force Parent-Child Workshop Ages 5-14.

CA, Palo Alto Mar 9-12, Thu nite parents, Sat & Sun AM kids, Sun afternoon demo for adults. Kidpower Weekend Family Workshop.

CA, Palo Alto Mar 26, Sun, 12 to 5:30p Teenpower Full Force Workshop for Daughters

CA. Berkeley, Apr 2, Sun 12 to 5:30p, Teenpower Full Force Workshop for Sons

MA Amherst, Apr 5, 5-8 pm, Youth Film Series (14-21): Beautiful Thing

CA, Santa Cruz, Apr 9, Sun, 10 am - 12 noon, Kidpower Parent-Child Workshop for Children ages 4-7

US Apr 14-15, Fri-Sat, 11th National Youth Services Day(s).

US Apr 27, Thu Take Your Daughter(s) To Work Day.

MA May 2, 5-8 pm, Youth Film Series (14-21): Girls Town, Amherst

WA, Camp Melacoma Skamania, May 4-6, Thu-Sat, Multicultural Youth Retreat, Michael Meade

CA, Santa Cruz, May 6, Sun, 1 to 5:30p, Teenpower Full Force Workshop for Daughters

CA Berkeley, May 18-21, Kidpower Weekend Family Workshop, 6-14

CA, Los Angeles, May 19, Fri, The Genius of Youth, The Wisdom of Elders, Michael Meade

MA, Amherst, Jun 6, 5-8 pm, Youth Film Series (14-21): HATE

CA, Big Sur, Jun 16-18, Fri-Sun, Daughters and Fathers/Fathers and Daughters: Changing the Story.

US Jun 19, Mon (any day this week) - International Take Your Kids to Work Week

CA Palo Alto, Jun 22-25, Kidpower Weekend Family Workshop, 6-14

US Jun 23, Fri, National Career Day for Our Sons

MA Rowe, Jun 24-Jul 8 Rowe Transitions Camp (6th & 7th grades)

WA, Bethell, Sun-Sat, Jun 25-Jul 1, Sun-Sat, Apprentice Journey (Boys and Girls ages 9-11)

WA, Bethell, Sun-Sun, Jun 25-Jul 16, Sun-Sun, Coming of Age for Girls who have graduated 6th or 7th grade

MA, Lenox, Jun 29-Jul 2 Thu-Sun, Circus Yoga for Kids, Gabriella Bengis, Erin Maile O'Keefe, and Kevin O'Keefe.

CA Jun 30-Jul 2, Experiencing Esalen: For Kids Lia Thompson-Clark, Big Sur

CA Jul 2-7, Experiencing Esalen: For Kids Lia Thompson-Clark, Big Sur

MA, Lenix. Jul 2-7, Sun-Fri, The Children's Program. (Ages 5-12)

BC, Mason's Landing, Jul 2-8, Sun-Sat, Sun, Stars and Cedar: An outdoor adventure for young teens 11-14, Hugh Prichard & Christine Hollmann.

MA, Lenox, Jul 2-8, Sun-Sat, Communication and Self-Esteem for Young Adults. (Coed 15-19).

MA  Rowe, Jul 2-8 Rowe Young People's Camp (9-11)

WA, Bethel, Jul 2-23, Sun-Sun, Coming of Age for Boys (who have graduated from the 6th and 7th grade)

MA, Lenox, Jul 7-9, Fri-Sun, The Children's Program. (Ages 5-12)

CA Santa Cruz Co., Jul 8, Kidpower Parent-Child Workshop for Children 4-7

MA, Lenox, Jul 9-15, Sun-Sat, Coming of Age for Boys (12-16).

MA Rowe, Jul 9-29, Rowe Junior High Camp

WA, Bethell, Jul 9-30, Sun-Sun, Wilderness Quest 2000 Young Men and Women who have graduated from 10th, 11th, or 12th grade.

NY, Rhinebeck, Jul 10-14, Mon-Fri, Family Week

NY, Rhinebeck, Jul 10-14, Mon-Fri, Earth Wisdom (teens 14-19)

MA, Lenox, Jul 14-16, Fri-Sun, Yoga Teens for Girls (ages 14-17), Marsha Wenig.

MA, Lenox, Jul 14-15, Fri-Sun, The Children's Program. (5-12)

BC, Mason's Landing. Jul 14-19, Fri-Wed, Family Nature Retreat, Dayna Davis & Hugh Prichard.

CA Palo Alto, Jul 16, Teenpower Full Force Workshop for Daughters

CA, Mendocino, Jul 16-20, Sun-Fri, The Spirit of Practice: A retreat for young and older men, Michael Meade, John Tarrant, Luis Rodriguez, Malidoma Some and others.

MA Rowe, Jul 20-29, Rowe Vision Quest: A wilderness passage for young adults (17-21)

MA, Lenox, Jul 21-23, Fri-Sun, The Children's Program. (Ages 5-12)

CA Berkeley, Jul 22, Kidpower Parent-Child Workshop for Children 4-7

MA, Lenox, Jul 23-29, Sat-Sun, Adventures in Nature (Boys 9-11)

Northern Ontario Jul 23-29, Temagami Wilderness Canoe Trip: Parents & Children, Michael Madden and Judy Burnett.

WA, Bethell, Jul 26-Aug 16, Wed-Wed, The Solo Crossing Co-ed program for graduates of the 8th and 9th grades.

MA, Lenox, Jul 28-30, Fri-Sun, The Children's Program. (5-12)

MA, Lenox, Jul 29-Aug 4, Sat-Fri, Coming of Age Passages for Girls (14-16)

CA Scotts Valley, Jul 30, Kidpower Parent-Child Workshop for Children 4-7

Northern Ontario, Jul 30-Aug 5, Sun-Sat, Temagami Wilderness Canoe Trip: Fathers & Daughters, Michael Madden and Judy Burnett.

MA Rowe, Jul 30-Aug 19 Rowe Senior High Camp

CA, Graton, Aug 2, 9, 16 & 23, Teen Conflict Resolution

MALenox, Aug 3-6, Thu-Sun, Circus Yoga for Kids, Gabriella Bengis, Erin Maile O'Keefe, and Kevin O'Keefe.

MA, Lenox, Aug 6-12, Sun-Sat, Gateways to Coming of Age for Girls (11-13)

NY Rhinebeck, Aug 7-11, Fri-Sun, Family Week 2, Omega

NY Rhinebeck, Aug 7-11, Fri-Sun, Little Forest People, (For kids ages 6-10), Rangers Woody Watson, Michael Madden, and the Ranger Staff. Omega

NY Rhinebeck, Aug 7-11, Fri-Sun, Questor's Guild, (For kids ages 8-12) Sam Chupp. Omega

MA, Lenox, Aug 11-13, Fri-Sun, The Children's Program. (5-12)

Northern Ontario, Aug 13-19,Sun-Wed, Temagami Wilderness Canoe Trip: Fathers & Sons, Michael Madden and Kevin Madden.

MA Rowe, Aug 13-20, Rowe Adventure Camp: A Challenge for Teenagers

MA, Lenox, Aug 18-20, Fri-Sun, The Children's Program. (5-12)

BC, Mason's Landing, Aug 19-25, Sat-Fri, The Power of Hope: A retreat for teens (14-18), Charlie Murphy, Peggy Taylor & Friends.

MA, Lenox, Aug 25-27, Fri-Sun, The Children's Program. (5-12)

CA Felton, Sep 23, Kidpower Parent-Child Workshop for Children 4-7

Programs from 1999/2000

Following is a list of those events held in the past with no current calendar dates given. If you want to contact them directly, click on the name for contact information. We will post information as it is received.

Journey of the Wise Woman (girls 15-17) Illinois

Maiden's Journey (Girls/Women), Wisconsin

Young Warrior Initiation (boys 15-16) Illinois

Youth Vision Quest & Training (14-21), Big Pine, CA

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