Does Julio Iglesias ever get Turned Down for Lunch?
In the first place let me commend you on the exceptional contribution you are making to mens lives. Luckily I came into contact with your knowledge and wisdom six years ago, and Ive watched myself evolve from the typical pathetic Wimpus Americanus to a man who is successful with women. Still, after almost seven years I know there is much more work ahead because your techniques require constant refinement to face the daily war we have to wage when it comes to women.
Currently Im one semester away from completing my law degree, and Im practicing at the legal aid clinic of my school. Almost all cases at the clinic must be worked on by the students. One of the students is Monique, who is extremely reserved, mysterious, and always by herself. She also happens to be the most beautiful girl in school. She has a long line of guys without backbones acting like pet monkeys trying to score with her, trying to get her attention, drooling over her, killing each other for her, etc. Count me out of that pack. For several months I have limited myself to being well-mannered and respectful to her, but nothing more. I havent made the slightest effort to get her attention.
Lately Monique has been sending me very subtle signals of interest. All of a sudden shes calling me to discuss strategies for cases or asking me to walk her somewhere. Above all, her body language is very positive. Occasionally she touches my arm and calls me at home to talk about school.
Since she was sending these subtle signs I decided to ask her out for lunch. She declined the invitation because she said she was too busy with school, but we could go after the semester ends. Of course that was woman-speak for a big NO. Ten minutes later, as we were about to hang up, she said, Dont forget. Meaning dont forget about my invitation for lunch.
My first thought was that I was being played for a fool. What do you think, Doc? Should I play along with Monique, or should I flush her number?
Lester - whos completely clueless on this one
In that one powerful phrase -- the daily war we have to wage with women youve said it all right there, my friend. Because until the woman decides that youre the greatest thing since hamburger, youre going to be running the gauntlet against a tribe of angry Mohawks. And remember what my cousin General Love always says: Soldier, dont ever forget that dating is a battlefield where the bloody carcasses of many good men have been left for dead.
Its nothing short of admirable that you didnt join the pack of monkeys losing their marbles over this dead ringer for Brooke Burke. By not lifting a finger to get Moniques attention, you did everything right so far. But like my cousin Sal The Fish Love says, Hey, this a Beautiful Woman -- its just a matter of time before you get yourself into hot water.
Because youre really no match for this creature, buddy, you have to be on top of your game at all times. I hope you memorized my book like youre supposed to. Otherwise you may as well forget about it and stay with your law books.
And it was wonderful that Monique asked you to be her bodyguard around the school corridors. Like my cousin Fast Eddie Love says, At least she doesnt have you doing her homework for her. If she didnt want you to walk with her, then shed be just using you as a tutor. But so far it looks good.
Its fabulous that Monique called to talk to you about school. This is exactly the way you want to keep it, too. To you Psych majors, you want her coming on to you at all times. Dont ask her out -- just keep her coming at you and coming at you and coming at you. You have all the time in the world, Lester. Youre not in any hurry. Youre not like all those other chimpanzees who cant control themselves and throw themselves at Monique. In fact, the reason she gravitated toward you in the first place is because you were the only law student who showed a scintilla of Self-Control in her presence. I hope you realize that, Lester. And I hope you dont forget it.
So everything was perfect up to a certain point. But then you unraveled. You lost it. Instead of waiting Monique out like a real Challenge, you went and asked her out to lunch. Mistake. MASSIVE MISTAKE. She should have asked you out to lunch. Like my cousin Doctor Freud once said, When youre dealing with a 10, you have be as crafty as she is gorgeous.
Well, dude, she turned you down. And you know what that means.
If theres a good part here, its that Monique asked you two times to call her back. Ideally, a date should have been set right on the spot. If Monique said Lets make it Wednesday at seven, that would have been the best thing. But essentially she told you to back off. Since she told you twice to call her back, though, she gets credit for a counter-offer.
And heres something else, Les. Youre going to be hustling other phone numbers from all kinds of other women. Youre not going to wait for this one girl to fall in love with you. If somebody else grabs you first, Monique is out.
Are you being played for a fool? Its possible. Like my cousin Brother Love down in Watts says, When youre foolin with a Beautiful Woman, you dont know where the punch is comin from.
But on the other hand, whats the risk here? Youll make a one-minute phone call when the semester ends and find out whether the girl is sincere or shes toying with you like she toyed with all the others. But at least you got further along with Monique than those apes did.
You should play along with this girl because hopefully shes playing along with you. And if shes playing straight with you, then youll move forward together.
Remember, guys: its always better when she chases you.
© 2008, DocLove Dot Com
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Doc Love is a talk show host, entertainment speaker, and coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with one man versus another?" He is the author of the Master Series, available at www.doclove.com Archives for 2007, 2006, 2005, 2004, 2003, 2002, 2001, and 2000.
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