Is Angelina too "Touchy" for Brad?
Ive been with Shana -- a stewardess and a 9 -- for six months. She has a lot of good qualities and values on top of her gorgeous looks. Shes kind, giving, and caring. I have done tests on her and she's definitely not in love with my bank account (Im quite well fixed through my various investments) and is certainly with me for who I am.
Shana was the one who first said the L word. I believe her Interest Level is around 95%, as she always talks about our future, how much she loves me, that she cant wait to get married, and that she cant wait to have kids with me. A few times she has also given me hints like where's my ring, and on a daily basis she says I love you over 20 times, while I keep my responses to a third of that in order to stay a Challenge.
Heres the problem. Shana is very touchy -- too touchy -- with random guys she meets while were out. I have spoken to her about it and asked her how shed feel if I was touchy and all over the girls I meet. She says that while this is the person she has always been, shell work on it if it bothers me. I have seen some changes in her, but shes still in contact with a bunch of her ex-boyfriends. Her excuse is that she's close to the families of these guys or she has mutual friends with them.
I have a software setup that automatically e-mails me all the communications done through Shanas computer and I also have the password to her e-mail accounts. Every day I track her e-mails and responses. What Ive noticed in her e-mails to her ex-boyfriends is nothing really threatening. They just talk about their new lives, but she never mentions the fact that she has a new boyfriend me -- that she really loves. And theres nothing about the guys new girlfriends either.
Since Shana travels around the world, Im concerned with what she does when she flies to other countries. If shes too friendly and touchy when Im around, what is she doing when Im not there?
Should I be concerned, or am I being too hard on Shana?
Clem - who feels uncomfortable with how she acts
Shana is a gorgeous flight attendant with good qualities? Who could ask for more? This is great, man! You know what this means? It means shes going to be on a plane most of the time, and youll have the house all to yourself to do whatever you want. Youre so fortunate!
Shana was the first one to say the L word? Clem, what you should be saying is that she was the ONLY one to say the L word! You used the wrong word, my friend.
You mean to tell me that you think that youre a Challenge by telling your girlfriend only seven times a day how much you love her? Uh, yeah, sure. You have to go back and read my book a little more, pal. I think you missed a few pages.
But you shouldnt have criticized Shana for touching guys (though well get into her touchiness more a little later). You should have told her that you were concerned for her security. When youre trying to sell something to someone, dude, you dont tell them that its a benefit to you you pitch the benefit to them. Like my cousin Sal The Fish Love says, How did you get rich, man?
Heres what you should have said: Honey, one day youre going to touch somebody and the guys going to turn out to be a loon. Youve seen American Justice. Youve seen City Confidential. You know what kinds of whackos are running around out there. And thats what I worry about. Youre just a little too friendly with strangers.
Notice that Shana didnt tell you that she was wrong when you pointed out her touchy behavior? It means shes structured, guy. Like my cousin Rabbi Love says, Son, beware of the woman who cant admit her errors.
Clem, we dont want Shana to work on anything. We want her to say, Im so glad youre concerned about my welfare and safety. Think about it. When shes walking your four-year-old daughter around the mall and some goof is acting nuts, is Shana going to be talking to strangers then? Is she going to hug the guy because he tells her she looks nice?
But youve seen changes in Shana since you two talked. Thats good. At least shes listening. As long as theres some improvement in her behavior, youre moving in the right direction. Remember her SECURITY.
So this girl has loads of ex-boyfriends. Like my cousin Fast Eddie Love says, Does that mean Shana and I shot a few games of pool somewhere one night? I want to say something to all you girls out there. When you meet a guy, please dont have any contact with anybody you ever went out with in the past.
Im sure this stewardess is the super-friendly type, but theres no reason for her to stay close to the families of her exes, because those boyfriends are gone. Or they should be gone.
I see that youre playing James Bond on Shana by snooping on her e-mails. Beautiful! It proves that youve read the Dating Dictionary at least once. And like my cousin General Love says Alls fair in love and war.
But the fact that she has a new boyfriend shes allegedly madly in love with YOU -- and doesnt mention him is a huge RED FLAG. And lets face it buddy, these other guys arent talking about their new girlfriends or you because they still want Shana. To you Psych majors, the ex-boyfriends are dying to get back with her.
So youre concerned about her flying all over the globe and touching all those foreigners? Like the great Doctor Freud once said, I could answer your question about what shes doing when youre not there, but youd probably commit suicide.
That said, I do think that youre being too hard on Shana. The Reality Factor says that in every deal theres going to be something you dont like. You got a touchy-feely girlfriend on your hands. In your case the fact that she drapes herself all over every guy she meets is the downside. But if shes got everything else going for her, Id learn to overlook it if I were you.
But in the end you have to figure out how youre built, Clem. Is Shanas touchy nature a deal-killer? Only you can answer that question. If this habit of hers is going to irritate the hell out of you, you better give it lots of thought because shes going to be touching guys for the next 40 years.
Remember, guys: its tough to love a girl who cant keep her hands off other men.
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Doc Love is a talk show host, entertainment speaker, and coaches men in his seminars. For the past 30 years he has asked thousands of women, "Why do you stay with one man versus another?" He is the author of the Master Series, available at www.doclove.com Archives for 2007, 2006, 2005, 2004, 2003, 2002, 2001, and 2000.
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