Daily Thoughts & Issues

IN THIS ISSUE:

FEBRUARY 21

Days left until the next millennium 01.01.3001
 

Photo of the Week
Achieve Your Dreams

February 21 - Love Your Pet Day. * First Day of Spring. * The German High Command launched an offensive on the Western Front of Verdun, France, which became WWI's single longest battle. An estimated one million men were killed, decimating both the German and French armies. (1916). * Aldrich Hazen Ameers and his wife Maria del Rosario Casas Ames were arrested on charges they had spied for the Soviet Union beginning in 1985 and had continued to spy after the Soviet collapse in 1991 and were probably responsible for the deaths of at least 10 CIA agents. * Richard Nixon became the first US president to visit any country not diplomatically recognized by the US when he went to the People's Republic of China for meetings with Chairman Mao Tse-tung (1972). * Nicaraguan guerrilla leader after whom the Sandinistas of the present day are named, was murdered along with his brother and several aides at Managua (1934). He and his forces had eluded the occupying force of US Marines as well as the Nicaraguan National Guard for 6 years. * Washington Monument dedicated (1885) to the first US president (actually George Washington wasn't our first president though he was the first President elected by the electorate.) * Malcolm X, 39, the founder of the Black Nationalist movement, is assassinated. (1965) * Birthdays: Christopher Atkins, William Baldwin, David Geffen, Hubert de Givenchy, Kelsey Krammer, Gary Lockwood, William Petersen, Tyne Daly, British poet Wystan Hugh (W.H.) Auden (1907). Can you name the novelist who was his close friend and sometimes lover? Gay & Lesbian Calendar (Answer below)

DAILY THOUGHTS

Productivity/Creativity. We will sell no wine before its time. Ernest & Julio Gallo. Many people believe that it is the the most fruitful, the most productive and the most creative. Not so! We men who do next to nothing realized long ago that overextended deadlines and frantic, anxiety-ridden activity never produce anything of quality. True creativity, like most of the finer things in this world, must be allowed to age sufficiently, and we are experts at that. So the next time your mother asks you what you think you are doing sleeping your life away, or shrieks that you haven't moved for a week and are stinking up the family room, or demands that you strap on your tool belt and complete that kitchen addition you began eighteen months ago, tell her that you are ripening, fermenting and will get up only when you have reached your peak flavor. Otherwise, your vintage bouquet may be severely compromised. Men, like fine wine, require absolute stillness in dark cool rooms to achieve peak performance. Rome wasn't built in a day, so why should your kitchen addition be any different? Meditations for Men Who Do Next to Nothing: and would like to do even less

A surprisingly large number of Me Generation females (born 1956-65), perhaps as high as 17 percent, will probably never have children. In a study of single career women of this vintage, psychologist Florence Kaslow observed, "They take pride in their accomplishments, and enjoy their autonomy. However, mixed in with the pleasure of being in charge of their own lives, is some ambivalence over what they do not have - a partner." New Passages (Editor. Researchers say that, of men 18-34, over 35% of them never plan to marry. Interesting.)

Sooner or later, if people are healed, they must learn that the entirety of one's adult life is a series of personal choices, decisions. If they can accept this totally, then they become free people. To the extent that they do not accept this they will forever feel themselves victims. The Road Less Traveled

Don't worry if your little boy plays with dolls or your little girl plays with footballs. Learning how to care is as important as learning how to play sports. Dr. Buff's 365 Day Parenting Calendar

During the American Revolution, 5000 slaves and 25,000 free blacks joined the British cause. African American History

Leadership is action, not position. Achieve Your Dreams

Things to Be Happy About: Three-day weekends, getting no bills today. A pocketful of knowledge. 14,000 Things to Be Happy About

Molly, a seventy-five-year-old widow, started dating again for the first time in fifty years. Instead of taking the attitude that she didn't need or want to learn anything new at her age, Molly enthusiastically committed to learning a whole new set of dating lessons. It was her commitment to continue learning that led her to Morty, a seventy-eight-year-old retired insurance salesman who shared her love of gold and Chinese food. Molly and Morty are currently planning their wedding.  If Life is a Game, These are the Rules

Our tendency is to project out of our own autobiographies what we think other people want or need. We project our intentions on the behavior of others. If they don't interpret our effort as a deposit, our tendency is to take it as a rejection of our well-intentioned effort and to give up. Seven Habits of Highly Effective People

If you're just getting started on your simplification program, a vacation at home is a perfect way to begin. You could start your vacation by getting rid of all the clutter in your life. Make this a fun family project. It's only an extra day, but you'd be surprised how much clutter can go with one extra day. Simplify Your Life

 "I care not what others think of what I do, but I care very much about what I think of what I do. That is character!" - Theodore Roosevelt. Violating your own values guarantees extra emotional stress. Stress Busters

 Soak. Teach your kids this one. Tear the edges off of white paper. Pour cold coffee into a pan. Lay the paper in it. After the paper soaks, lay it on a paper towel to dry. Turn the paper into a map, letter or other old treasure and crinkle it up. To Do Today

Set your goals high and don't stop until you get there. - Bo Jackson Win the Day!

Don't get too upset over your car's first scratch or dent. Others are sure to follow. Life's Little Instruction

Ashes, too. OK, now you know where to put the snow, here's where to put the ashes: around your lilacs, of course. Wood ashes will increase the lilac's growth and bloom in the spring. Potash also enhances the sweetness of fruit, so give some to your berry bushes and fruit trees.  The Old Farmer's Almanac

Constructing an interior staircase is a tricky job, which may explain why the prefabricated stairways are so popular in construction. Stairs consist of a stringer on each side notched to support the treads you step on. Vertical risers separate the treads. In a simple staircase, there may be no risers, simply open spaces between the treads. Only experienced carpenters should build a complete interior staircase. Stanley do-it-yourself Handyman Hints

Safety: Many people hold back on love - to be safe. As if they would die if they experienced the new intimacy. Yes, if their old identity died, that would bring about new life. It would be unfamiliar. Might be dangerous. They could get hurt. Here's the deal. You either hide from love and play it safe, or you risk and open you heart to love. If you open yourself, know you will definitely get hurt. But you won't die and won't suffer for long, unless you imagine it should be safe all the time. You simply can't love without getting hurt. We were made to love, not to play it safe. We were made to love, get hurt by the clash of differences, and learn to recover through understanding and forgiveness. We become resilient lowers and learn to love even more fiercely. We were not intended to hide under the covers of fear and loneliness. Come out, play in the sea of love - and ride the waves! "A ship in harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for." John Shedd.  Opening to Love 365 Days a Year

Answer: Christopher Isherwood. The two met when they were children in grade school.

TODAY'S ISSUE: PARENTING

He was shut out from all family affairs. No one told him anything. The children, alone with their mother, told her all about the day's happenings, everything...But as soon as the father came in, everything stopped. - D. H. Lawrence

Many of us men are on the outer edge of our family circles. The closeness between our children and our wives often seems more comfortable, more intimate than our relationships with them. Perhaps it's similar to the closeness we had with our mothers while our fathers were outside. It is painful to us and probably not entirely our own fault. We were taught that our main job was outside the home - supporting our family by earning a living. But it is up to us to change the situation.

Many of us learned from our own fathers that grown men stay aloof from emotional relationships, but this has hurt our relationships and alienated us from the people we most care for. Learning to know our feelings and how to express them helps us move into the family circle of intimacy.

Today, I will let go of my aloofness with my family so they can know me better. Touchstones

Hey Man: Did you make a difference yesterday? Let us know at Contact Us. Interview your children about what it has been like to have you as a father. What Every Man Needs to Know Want to make a difference but you don't know where to start?

BOOK OF THE WEEK

Jeff Kinney's latest Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days, 2009 . Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The last straw 2009 Also see Diary of a Wimpy Kid:, 2007 ; Roderick Rules 2008 ; and Do it Yourself Book 2008 . A very fun series and good lessons for fathers of kids, especially boys, who aren't into macho endeavors. Good for all kids to get a sense of some of the trials and tribulations of a not-so-macho boy and ways to handle it. It's fun.

SPECIAL URLs

 

MENSTUFF COLUMNS BY AUTHOR

  • The Advice Diva - The Advice Diva - relationship and sexuality issues discussed - www.menstuff.org/columns/advicediva/archive.html
  • Peter Alsop - Song of the Month - www.menstuff.org/columns/alsop/archive.html
  • Reid Baer - A Man Overboard - Interview of the Month - www.menstuff.org/columns/overboard/archive.html
  • Reid Baer - Poetry - poetry read on YouTube - www.menstuff.org/columns/baer/archive.html
  • Molly Barrow - Shrink About This - www.menstuff.org/columns/barrow/archive.html
  • Peter Baylies - At Home Dads - on at-home-dad issues that impact fathers who stay at home to raise their kids - www.menstuff.org/columns/baylies/archive.html
  • Tom Blake - Middle-Age Relationships - from an expert on dating after 50. www.menstuff.org/columns/blake/archive.html
  • Mark Brandenburg - Great Fathers - on fathering issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/greatfathers/archive.html
  • Ted Braude - BoysWork - a columnist in the The Detroit Free Press "Body and Mind" section www.menstuff.org/columns/braude/archive.html
  • Armin Brott - A Father's Guide - hosts "Positive Parenting" on radio www.menstuff.org/columns/brott/archive.html
  • Dan Bulf - Get Real - weekly pod cast on men's issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/bulf/archive.html
  • Ken Byers - Transition - on men's life transitions - www.menstuff.org/columns/byers/archive.html
  • Sandra L. Caron - Sex Talk - college students get answers to their questions - www.menstuff.org/columns/sextalk/archive.html
  • Neil Chethik - Relationships - www.menstuff.org/columns/chethik/archive.html
  • Otto & Susie Collins - Susie and Otto - relationship issues discussed - www.menstuff.org/columns/susie&otto/archive.html
  • David Copeland - How to Succeed with Women - www.menstuff.org/columns/howtosucceed/archive.html
  • Forrest Craver - Spirituality & Social Change - www.menstuff.org/columns/craver/archive.html
  • Layne & Paul Cutright - Powerful Partnerships - relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/cutright/archive.html
  • Ron DesMarais - Cavemen in the Kitchen - great recipes for men - www.menstuff.org/columns/desmarais/archive.html
  • Jed Diamond - Irritable Male Syndrome - www.menstuff.org/columns/diamond/archive.html
  • Doc Love - Women Don't Lie, Man Don't Listen - answers to relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/doclov/archive.html
  • Barry Durdant-Hollamby - Creating Change - creating change in your life - www.menstuff.org/columns/durdant/archive.html
  • Irv Engel - The Real Deal - www.menstuff.org/columns/engel/archive.html
  • Nancy Fagan - Expert Dating Advice - with Nancy Fagan - www.menstuf.org/columns/fagan/archive.html
  • Warren Farrell - Men's Issues: Facts and Perspectives www.menstuff.org/columns/farrell/archive.html
  • Leonard Felder - Wake Up or Break Up - www.menstuff.org/columns/felder/archive.html
  • Marty Friedman - Strong Men, Strong Marriage - www.menstuff.org/columns/friedman/archive.html
  • Kim Garretson - Mansgland - using humor to encourage prostate exams - www.menstuff.org/columns/mansgland/archive.html
  • Lion Goodman - How to get Women to Love You - www.menstuff.org/columns/goodman/archive.html
  • Liz Halliday - In a Man's World - www.menstuff.org/columns/halliday/archive.html
  • Rick Hanson - Just One Thing - www.menstuff.org/columns/hanson/archive.html
  • Tim Hartnett - Daddyman Speaks - being a father www.menstuff.org/columns/daddyman/archive.html
  • John Hershey - Blood, Phlegm & Bile: Parenting with Humor - He writes a syndicated biweekly humor column about parenting and family life. www.menstuff.org/columns/hershey/archive.html
  • Gary Hoeber - Psychotherapy as Soul Work, www.menstuff.org/columns/hoeber/archive.html
  • Patrick Houser - Fathers Make a World of Difference, www.menstuff.org/columns/houser/archive.html
  • Paul Joannides - The Guide to Getting It On - on sex - www.menstuff.org/columns/getiton/archive.html
  • Jack Kahn - NOMAS Boston - www.menstuff.org/columns/kahn/archive.html
  • Patrick Kennedy - Seniors - www.menstuff.org/columns/kennedy/archive.html
  • Joe Kort - Gaydar - to increase understanding between gay and het men - www.menstuff.org/columns/kort/archive.html
  • David Kundtz - David Kundtz - presents seminars, workshops, retreats, and conference presentations in the areas of men's emotional health, stress management, and spirituality. www.menstuff.org/columns/kundtz/archive.html
  • Bruce Linton - Dr. Dad - on fathering - www.menstuff.org/columns/drdad/archive.html
  • Ron Louis - How to Succeed with Women - www.menstuff.org/columns/howtosucceed/archive.html
  • Wendy McElroy - Wendy McElroy on Feminism, www.menstuff.org/columns/mcelroy/archive.html
  • Robert N. Minor - Minor Details - on GBT sexuality - www.menstuff.org/columns/minordetails/archive.html
  • Robert L. Moore - Man & Mythology - www.menstuff.org/columns/moore/archive.html
  • Dennis W. Neder - Being a Man - general questions about men's lives - www.menstuff.org/columns/neder/archive.html
  • Marty Nemko - Worklife - general questions about men and work - www.menstuff.org/columns/nemko/archive.html
  • Eli Newberger - Eli Newberger - general information on men's lives - www.menstuff.org/columns/newberger/archive.html
  • Linda Nielsen - Embracing the Father - working with the father/daughter relationship. www.menstuff.org/columns/nielsen/archive.html
  • Kathy Noll - Bullies and Youth Violence - working with schools, teachers and parents to end school violence - www.menstuff.org/columns/noll/archive.html
  • Mark Phillips - Stay-at-Home-Dads - helping men maintain that which makes us men, instead of becoming hairy Mom-substitutes - www.menstuff.org/columns/phillips/archive.html
  • Carey Roberts - Socialism & Feminism - is a social commentator on political correctness. www.menstuff.org/columns/roberts/archive.html
  • Perry Rose - Dating, Relationship, Sex
  • Glenn Sacks - His Side - on fathering - www.menstuff.org/columns/sacks/archive.html
  • Trudy Schuett - Domestic Violence - serving the under-represented www.menstuff.org/columns/schuett/archive.html
  • Carl J. Schutt - Circumcision - social commentator on circumcision - www.menstuff.org/columns/schutt/archive.html
  • Hugo Schwyzer - A Pro-feminist's Response - www.menstuff.org/columns/schwyzer/archive.html
  • Michael Shaffran - Men's Issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/shaffran/archive.html
  • Judith Sherven - Judith & Jim - discussion and answers regarding relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/judith&jim/archive.html
  • Judith Sherven - The New Intimacy - www.menstuff.org/columns/newintimacy/archive.html
  • George Simons - Bellicose Veins - is a US specialist in intercultural and gender communication who hangs out in Mandelieu - la Napoule, France, as well as in Santa Cruz, CA. www.menstuff.org/columns/simons/archive.html
  • Andy Smith - Hard Hat Brotherhood - www.menstuff.org/columns/hardhat/archive.html
  • David B. Smith - Fighting Father Dave - www.menstuff.org/columns/smith/archive.html
  • Jim Sniechowski - Judith & Jim - discussion and answers regarding relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/judith&jim/archive.html
  • Jim Sniechowski - The New Intimacy - www.menstuff.org/columns/newintimacy/archive.html
  • Reena Sommer - Custody - is an internationally recognized relationship and divorce consultant. www.menstuff.org/columns/sommer/archive.html
  • R. Don Steele - Don Steele - relationship questions answered -
    www.menstuff.org/columns/steele/archive.html
  • David Steinberg - Comes Naturally - on sexuality - www.menstuff.org/columns/steinberg/archive.html
  • Mary Lou St Lucas - A Mother's Love - www.menstuf.org/columns/stlucas/archive.html
  • Surprise - Surprise Author - From a new columnist every month - www.menstuff.org/columns/surprise/archive.html
  • Steven Svoboda - Fatherhood, Activism and the Law www.menstuff.org/columns/svoboda/archive.html
  • Michael Taylor - A New Conversation with Men - www.menstuff.org/columns/taylor/archive.html
  • Bruce Van Horn - Yoga for Men - issues around the health benefits of yoga for men - www.menstuff.org/yoga/archive.html
  • Michael Webb - Secrets of Blissful Relationships - on relationship - www.menstuff.org/columns/bliss/archive.html
  • Stuart Wilde - Spirituality - www.menstuff.org/columns/wilde/archive.html
  • Dr.Williams - Sex Health - on sexual health - Dr. Williams, www.menstuff.org/columns/sexhealth/archive.html
  • KC Wilson - On Gender Politics is a social commentator and author. www.menstuff.org/columns/wilson/archive.html

Plus

  • Health Tips - on general health - www.menstuff.org/columns/healthtips/archive.html
  • Independent Means - resources for raising financially fit kids - www.menstuff.org/columns/independentmeans/archive.html
  • Numbers - www.menstuff.org/columns/numbers/archive.html
  • Questions - www.menstuff.org/columns/q&a/archive.html
  • Surprise - from a new columnist every month - www.menstuff.org/columns/surprise/archive.html
  • Words Can Heal - helping children grow up healthy - www.menstuff.org/columns/wordscanheal/archive.html
  • Wuzup?! - National or international events happening this month - www.menstuff.org/columns/whassup/archive.html

AWARENESS EVENTS THIS MONTH

February is Heart Disease Prevention (Healthy Heart), National Children's Dental Health, Ethnic Equality and *National African-American History Month - a time to honor all peoples and their positive traditions; time to meditate on the equality of all peoples, on the respect due to them and God-Goddess manifesting as African, Asian, European, Latin, Middle Eastern, Native American and Oceanic. The Mystic's Wheel of the Year 2000, AMD/Low Vision Awareness; *American Heart; A Day of Hearts: Child Awareness; International Boost Self-Esteem; International Expect Success; Library Lovers', Marfan Syndrome Awareness; National Children's Dental Health; National Sign Up for Summer Camp; National Weddings; National Wild Bird Feeding; and Plant the Seeds of Greatness Month.

Jan 29-Feb 4: *National Consumer Protection Week. Jan 30-Feb 3: Mid-Winter/Candlemas. Feb 2-9: I Hate Financial Planning Awareness Week. Feb 3-9: Cardiac Rehabilitation Week. Feb 4-10: International Personal and Business Coaching: National School Counseling Week. Feb 6-13: Art of Communication Week. Feb 10-16: Celebration of Love; Enabled Entrepreneurs; Freelance Writers Appreciation; Heart Failure Awareness; Home for Birds; Materials Testing; National Child Passenger Safety Awareness; National Family, Career and Community Leaders of America; National Resurrect Romance Week. Feb 1-17: International Flirting Week. Feb 12-19: National Condom Week. Feb 16-23: National FFA Week. Feb 17-23: International Friendship Week. Feb 18-22: Brotherhood-Sisterhood Week. Feb 19-26: Eating Disorders Awareness Week. Feb 22-24: Second Honeymoon Weekend. Feb 25-Mar 1: Read Me Week. Feb 25-Mar 3: Telecommuter Appreciation Week. Feb 1: Candlemas; Ground Hog Day. Feb 2: National Men's Grooming Day. Feb 3: Torture Abolition Day. Feb 4:  Weathermen's Day. Feb. 5: Dump Your "Significant Jerk"; Pay-a-Compliment Day. Feb 6: National Girls and Women in Sports; Wave All Your Fingers at Your Neighbors Day. Feb 7: Laugh and Grow Rich Day. Feb 8: National "DAV" Day. Feb 10: Be Electrific; Motivation; Satisfied Staying Single Day. Feb 11: Lost Penny Day. Feb 12: Black Love; Get a Different Name Day. Feb 13: Race Relations; Read to Your Child Day. Feb 14: Congenital Heart Defect Awareness; National Have-A-Heart; Heart 2 Heart; St.Valentine's Day. Feb 15: Remember the Maine Day. Feb 16: Who Shall I Be Day. Feb 17: National PTA Founders' Day.. Feb 18: President's Day. Feb 19: Student Volunteer Day. Feb 24: Children's Day. Feb 25: For Pete's Sake Day. Feb 27: Spay USA; Paczki Day. Feb 29: Bachelors' Day

* Means a Presidential Proclamation has been made.

National Missing Children's Day
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Men are so competitive that we even "out-die" women in all 15 of the major causes of death in the U.S. Most of these deaths are preventable with a positive change in life-style, eating habits, and/or general health care. Let's not strive so hard to hold on to this record. See what you can change now to live a healthier life.
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