Daily Thoughts & Issues

IN THIS ISSUE:

AUGUST 20

Days left until the next millennium 01.01.3001

Photo of the Week
Joe McBride/Adventure Photo & Film
Achieve Your Dreams

August 20 - National Friendship Week (Spirit) * Birth of the White Buffalo (1994), signaling the return of White Buffalo Woman who gave the sacred peace pipe to the Lakota people. Lakota rites include smoking the sacred pipe, purification in the sweat lodge, and making a vision quest for wisdom. The Mystic's Wheel of the Year. * A federal jury rules the Hunt brothers conspired to corner the world silver market (1988). * * Independence Day in Hungary. * Space limestone - Sister ships launched toward Mars from Cape Canaveral (1975). Sent back to Earth high-quality photographs, analysis of atmosphere, weather information and results of sophisticated experiments intended to determine whether life may be present on Mars. * Voyager 2, an unmanned spacecraft, launched 1977, journeyed past Jupiter (1979), Saturn (1981), Uranus (1986) and Neptune (1989) sending photographs and data back to scientists on Earth. * Birthdays:  Edgar Albert Guest, Benjamin Harrison, Howard Phillips (H.P.) Lovecraft, Bernardo O'Higgins, Oliver Hazard Perry ("We have met the enemy, and they are ours", Isaac Hayes, Michael Jeter, Donald (Don) King, Mark Edward Langston, Alfonso Raymond (Al) Lopez, Graig Nettles, Al Roker, Robert Plant.

DAILY THOUGHTS

Clearly the vast majority of American and European women and men now in their sixties have reached the stage where maximum freedom still coexists with a minimum of physical limitations. As a result, the age cues for what it means to be sixty don't match up with people's actual experience. New Passages

Pet names for body parts are okay, but make sure your child knows that anatomically correct names for all of his or her bodily appendages, orifices, and organs. Using correct names minimizes embarrassment and helps avoid excessive modesty. Dr. Buff's 365 Day Parenting Calendar

Aphrodite, the goddess who generates the lusty, sensual emotions of romantic love, blows into life as if on a wind, and she rises from the waves of feelings that are so central to sexual attraction. Soul Mates

The most erotic thing ever was when my boyfriend could only last twenty seconds because he was so turned on - Beth 22. The sexist thing I've ever seen a woman do is take a condom, fill it with wine, bite a hole in the tip of it and suck it completely dry - Jerome, 35 Best of 1001 Sex Secrets Every Man & Woman Should Know

In thinking about miracles, I believe that our frame of reference has been too dramatic. We have been looking for the burning bush, the parting of the sea, the bellowing voice from heaven. Instead we should be looking at the ordinary day-to-day events in our lives for evidence of the miraculous, maintaining at the same time a scientific orientation. The Road Less Traveled

Test the principle for 30 days and see what happens. Make small commitments and keep them. Be a light, not a judge. Be a model, not a critic. Be part of the solution, not part of the problem. Achieve Your Dreams

 Things to Be Happy About:  Absorbing information. S'mores by the campfire. Mental stimulation. 14,000 Things to Be Happy About

Homesick is the worse kind of sick. Really Important Stuff My Kids Have Taught Me

Stressful thought patterns to avoid:  Overanalyzing (attempting to determine the intentions of others or of yourself). Obsessing (rehearsing some thought over and over.) Criticizing yourself. Jumping to conclusions. Blowing things out of proportion. Stress Busters

Oscar Wilde wrote one of his last works, De Profundis, while in prison on charges of "gross indecency."  A quote from this work reads, "I have said to you to speak the truth is a painful thing. To be forced to tell lies is much worse." Gay & Lesbian Calendar

Good Gorp:  Toss together favorite combinations of dried fruit, nuts, and whole-grain cereals for an energy boost that everyone in the family will love. Add a few chocolate chips for soul maintenance. Parents Tips & Tricks

You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don't try. - Beverly Sills. Win the Day!

El cuero (KWEHroh) Leather. Compro una cazadora de cuero. She bought a leather jacket. Living Language

TODAY'S ISSUE: VISION QUEST

Vision: "And the eyes of them that see shall not be dim, and the ears of them that hear shall hearken." - The Vision of Isaiah. The warnings of prophets from thousands of years ago sound remarkably like the thundering of doom-sayers today. Good and evil, fear and desire, seem to be pretty constant notions in human society, and so does the tendency to predict that our present wickedness will bring about its end. Some prophets of doom look at the world narrowly, dividing it up into "us" and "them"; often "they" are young people, a new generation whose music and manners are different from ours and offensive to us. The true prophet points out that "them that see" are any of us who are willing to open our eyes to the world and its wonders and dangers. The young are out children. We're all connected in our earthly family, and we all have the same capacity for seeing and hearing, for these eyes and ears belong to the spirit. The vision we perceive is of the frail, precious unity of life on earth, and the message of our spirit's ears is that we must protect it. The young are our allies in our work for peace and harmony, no matter how they cut their hair, or dress, of what music they listen to. Their stake in this world is even greater than ours. We can accomplish more together than alone. Today, I'll remember to share the vision and the message with everyone. Family Feelings

Quest: "One's actions ought to come out of an achieved stillness; not to be a mere rushing on. - D. H. Lawrence. A flurry of activity usually looks like work; it most often announces that a great deal is being dealt with, a genius at work, a man who knows how to stir things up to get things done. It is so terribly difficult to be quiet. Especially if you're a man who has been taught that work is noisy, physically and emotionally demanding, thankless, and of course, endless. So much clarity of thought comes from solitude, from being undisturbed, from closing doors gently and quietly. Once I heard the voice of one of my children very clearly, after he had been asleep for a long time. I heard his voice so clearly because I allowed myself to hear it I need to be quiet, to listen, to stop. I will accomplish an inner harmony if I do not drown out the notes that come from within. Meditations For Men Who Do Too Much

A Vision Quest is a journey, ideally into nature, to sit, undisturbed by human contact, for a period of time, usually 3, 4, 7 days or more. It is often done with only water, allowing visions to come in that normally could not penetrate to noise and chaos of the world we live in. For some Coming of Age/Vision Quests for kids, check out our site:

www.menstuff.org/calendar/workshops/youth.html For books, check out www.menstuff.org/books/byissue/ritual-visionquest.html

Hey Man: Did you make a difference yesterday? Let us know at Contact Us. Trust your feelings. We have been taught to view feelings as a nuisance, an inconvenience, a sign of weakness, and something to be kept under control at all costs. Clinging to this view cuts us off from whole parts of ourselves: intuition, emotions, creativity. Talk to other men about feelings and write them down when you notice them. What Every Man Needs to Know Want to make a difference but you don't know where to start?

BOOK OF THE WEEK

 

Breakup by Leo Averbach. Forged in divorce hell. In this compelling and brutally honest memoir The author draws you into the cauldron of marital disintegration. Written as a journal in real time, this book interweaves the writer's daily ordeal and the couple's ongoing travails with the insights and experience of psychotherapy. It chronicles the author's struggle to cope with his wife's betrayal and its implications for their family. His first-person narrative, which is confessional and deeply reflective, reveals everything in describing the acrimony and emotions as the marriage falls apart. But what begins as a tale of anguish and despair becomes a story of transformation and regeneration, leaving the author to a new life. Llumkina Press, www.llumina.com, 2009, ISBN 978-1-60594-427-2

SPECIAL URLs

 

MENSTUFF COLUMNS BY AUTHOR

  • The Advice Diva - The Advice Diva - relationship and sexuality issues discussed - www.menstuff.org/columns/advicediva/archive.html
  • Peter Alsop - Song of the Month - www.menstuff.org/columns/alsop/archive.html
  • Reid Baer - A Man Overboard - Interview of the Month - www.menstuff.org/columns/overboard/archive.html
  • Reid Baer - Poetry - poetry read on YouTube - www.menstuff.org/columns/baer/archive.html
  • Molly Barrow - Shrink About This - www.menstuff.org/columns/barrow/archive.html
  • Peter Baylies - At Home Dads - on at-home-dad issues that impact fathers who stay at home to raise their kids - www.menstuff.org/columns/baylies/archive.html
  • Tom Blake - Middle-Age Relationships - from an expert on dating after 50. www.menstuff.org/columns/blake/archive.html
  • Mark Brandenburg - Great Fathers - on fathering issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/greatfathers/archive.html
  • Ted Braude - BoysWork - a columnist in the The Detroit Free Press "Body and Mind" section www.menstuff.org/columns/braude/archive.html
  • Armin Brott - A Father's Guide - hosts "Positive Parenting" on radio www.menstuff.org/columns/brott/archive.html
  • Dan Bulf - Get Real - weekly pod cast on men's issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/bulf/archive.html
  • Ken Byers - Transition - on men's life transitions - www.menstuff.org/columns/byers/archive.html
  • Sandra L. Caron - Sex Talk - college students get answers to their questions - www.menstuff.org/columns/sextalk/archive.html
  • Neil Chethik - Relationships - www.menstuff.org/columns/chethik/archive.html
  • Otto & Susie Collins - Susie and Otto - relationship issues discussed - www.menstuff.org/columns/susie&otto/archive.html
  • David Copeland - How to Succeed with Women - www.menstuff.org/columns/howtosucceed/archive.html
  • Forrest Craver - Spirituality & Social Change - www.menstuff.org/columns/craver/archive.html
  • Layne & Paul Cutright - Powerful Partnerships - relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/cutright/archive.html
  • Ron DesMarais - Cavemen in the Kitchen - great recipes for men - www.menstuff.org/columns/desmarais/archive.html
  • Jed Diamond - Irritable Male Syndrome - www.menstuff.org/columns/diamond/archive.html
  • Doc Love - Women Don't Lie, Man Don't Listen - answers to relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/doclov/archive.html
  • Barry Durdant-Hollamby - Creating Change - creating change in your life - www.menstuff.org/columns/durdant/archive.html
  • Irv Engel - The Real Deal - www.menstuff.org/columns/engel/archive.html
  • Nancy Fagan - Expert Dating Advice - with Nancy Fagan - www.menstuf.org/columns/fagan/archive.html
  • Warren Farrell - Men's Issues: Facts and Perspectives www.menstuff.org/columns/farrell/archive.html
  • Leonard Felder - Wake Up or Break Up - www.menstuff.org/columns/felder/archive.html
  • Marty Friedman - Strong Men, Strong Marriage - www.menstuff.org/columns/friedman/archive.html
  • Kim Garretson - Mansgland - using humor to encourage prostate exams - www.menstuff.org/columns/mansgland/archive.html
  • Lion Goodman - How to get Women to Love You - www.menstuff.org/columns/goodman/archive.html
  • Liz Halliday - In a Man's World - www.menstuff.org/columns/halliday/archive.html
  • Rick Hanson - Your Wise Brain - www.menstuff.org/columns/hanson/archive.html
  • Tim Hartnett - Daddyman Speaks - being a father www.menstuff.org/columns/daddyman/archive.html
  • John Hershey - Blood, Phlegm & Bile: Parenting with Humor - He writes a syndicated biweekly humor column about parenting and family life. www.menstuff.org/columns/hershey/archive.html
  • Gary Hoeber - Psychotherapy as Soul Work, www.menstuff.org/columns/hoeber/archive.html
  • Patrick Houser - Fathers Make a World of Difference, www.menstuff.org/columns/houser/archive.html
  • Paul Joannides - The Guide to Getting It On - on sex - www.menstuff.org/columns/getiton/archive.html
  • Jack Kahn - NOMAS Boston - www.menstuff.org/columns/kahn/archive.html
  • Patrick Kennedy - Seniors - www.menstuff.org/columns/kennedy/archive.html
  • Joe Kort - Gaydar - to increase understanding between gay and het men - www.menstuff.org/columns/kort/archive.html
  • David Kundtz - David Kundtz - presents seminars, workshops, retreats, and conference presentations in the areas of men's emotional health, stress management, and spirituality. www.menstuff.org/columns/kundtz/archive.html
  • Bruce Linton - Dr. Dad - on fathering - www.menstuff.org/columns/drdad/archive.html
  • Ron Louis - How to Succeed with Women - www.menstuff.org/columns/howtosucceed/archive.html
  • Tom Matlack - Tom Matlack - Good Men Project - www.menstuff.org/columns/matlack/archive.html
  • Wendy McElroy - Wendy McElroy on Feminism, www.menstuff.org/columns/mcelroy/archive.html
  • Robert N. Minor - Minor Details - on GBT sexuality - www.menstuff.org/columns/minordetails/archive.html
  • Robert L. Moore - Man & Mythology - www.menstuff.org/columns/moore/archive.html
  • Dennis W. Neder - Being a Man - general questions about men's lives - www.menstuff.org/columns/neder/archive.html
  • Marty Nemko - Worklife - general questions about men and work - www.menstuff.org/columns/nemko/archive.html
  • Eli Newberger - Eli Newberger - general information on men's lives - www.menstuff.org/columns/newberger/archive.html
  • Linda Nielsen - Embracing the Father - working with the father/daughter relationship. www.menstuff.org/columns/nielsen/archive.html
  • Kathy Noll - Bullies and Youth Violence - working with schools, teachers and parents to end school violence - www.menstuff.org/columns/noll/archive.html
  • Mark Phillips - Stay-at-Home-Dads - helping men maintain that which makes us men, instead of becoming hairy Mom-substitutes - www.menstuff.org/columns/phillips/archive.html
  • Carey Roberts - Socialism & Feminism - is a social commentator on political correctness. www.menstuff.org/columns/roberts/archive.html
  • Perry Rose - Dating, Relationship, Sex
  • Glenn Sacks - His Side - on fathering - www.menstuff.org/columns/sacks/archive.html
  • Trudy Schuett - Domestic Violence - serving the under-represented www.menstuff.org/columns/schuett/archive.html
  • Carl J. Schutt - Circumcision - social commentator on circumcision - www.menstuff.org/columns/schutt/archive.html
  • Hugo Schwyzer - A Pro-feminist's Response - www.menstuff.org/columns/schwyzer/archive.html
  • Michael Shaffran - Men's Issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/shaffran/archive.html
  • Judith Sherven - Judith & Jim - discussion and answers regarding relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/judith&jim/archive.html
  • Judith Sherven - The New Intimacy - www.menstuff.org/columns/newintimacy/archive.html
  • George Simons - Bellicose Veins - is a US specialist in intercultural and gender communication who hangs out in Mandelieu - la Napoule, France, as well as in Santa Cruz, CA. www.menstuff.org/columns/simons/archive.html
  • Andy Smith - Hard Hat Brotherhood - www.menstuff.org/columns/hardhat/archive.html
  • David B. Smith - Fighting Father Dave - www.menstuff.org/columns/smith/archive.html
  • Jim Sniechowski - Judith & Jim - discussion and answers regarding relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/judith&jim/archive.html
  • Jim Sniechowski - The New Intimacy - www.menstuff.org/columns/newintimacy/archive.html
  • Reena Sommer - Custody - is an internationally recognized relationship and divorce consultant. www.menstuff.org/columns/sommer/archive.html
  • R. Don Steele - Don Steele - relationship questions answered -
    www.menstuff.org/columns/steele/archive.html
  • David Steinberg - Comes Naturally - on sexuality - www.menstuff.org/columns/steinberg/archive.html
  • Mary Lou St Lucas - A Mother's Love - www.menstuf.org/columns/stlucas/archive.html
  • Surprise - Surprise Author - From a new columnist every month - www.menstuff.org/columns/surprise/archive.html
  • Steven Svoboda - Fatherhood, Activism and the Law www.menstuff.org/columns/svoboda/archive.html
  • Michael Taylor - A New Conversation with Men - www.menstuff.org/columns/taylor/archive.html
  • Bruce Van Horn - Yoga for Men - issues around the health benefits of yoga for men - www.menstuff.org/yoga/archive.html
  • Michael Webb - Secrets of Blissful Relationships - on relationship - www.menstuff.org/columns/bliss/archive.html
  • Stuart Wilde - Spirituality - www.menstuff.org/columns/wilde/archive.html
  • Dr.Williams - Sex Health - on sexual health - Dr. Williams, www.menstuff.org/columns/sexhealth/archive.html
  • KC Wilson - On Gender Politics is a social commentator and author. www.menstuff.org/columns/wilson/archive.html

Plus

  • Health Tips - on general health - www.menstuff.org/columns/healthtips/archive.html
  • Independent Means - resources for raising financially fit kids - www.menstuff.org/columns/independentmeans/archive.html
  • Numbers - www.menstuff.org/columns/numbers/archive.html
  • Questions - www.menstuff.org/columns/q&a/archive.html
  • Surprise - from a new columnist every month - www.menstuff.org/columns/surprise/archive.html
  • Words Can Heal - helping children grow up healthy - www.menstuff.org/columns/wordscanheal/archive.html
  • Wuzup?! - National or international events happening this month - www.menstuff.org/columns/whassup/archive.html

AWARENESS EVENTS THIS MONTH

August is Admit You're Happy, Black Business, Cataract Awareness, Children's Eye Health and Safety, National Immunization, Spinal Muscular Atrophy Awareness, Children's Vision and Learning, Family Fun, National Back-to-School, National Inventor's, National Win with Civility, Spinal Muscular Atrophy Awareness Month. Aug 1-7 Simplify Your Life, World Breastfeeding, International Clown Week, Simplify Your Life Week. Aug 1-11 - World Breastfeeding Week. Aug 2-6 - Psychic Week Aug 8-14 - National Resurrect Romance, Thanks for All the Gifts Week. Aug 12-19 - Truck Drivers' Week. Aug 15-21 - National Health Center, Reduced the Clutter, Weird Contest Week. Aug 16-22 - National Avidatoin Week. Aug 22-29 - National Save Your Smile, National Truck Driver Appreciation Week. Aug 1 - National Kids, Respect for Parents, National Night Out Day. Apr 3 - Nation Night Out, Coast Guard day. Apr 6 - National Fresh Breath, National Pamper Yourself day. Aug 7 - National Mustard Day. Aug 8 - Admit You're Happy Day. Apr 9 - UN International Day of the World's Indigenous People. Apr 11 - Presidential Joke Day. Apr 12 - UN International Youth, Vinyl Record Day. Apr 14 - International Nagging, National Garage Sale Day. Aug 15 - National Relaxation Day, World Day of Keiki. Aug 16 - Stay Home with Your Kids, National Airborne Day. Aug 17 - Sandcastle Day. Aug 18 - Bad Poetry Day. Aug 19 - National Avidation Day. Aug 21 - Children's, Poets, Sandcastle and Sculpture. Southern Hemisphere Hoodie-Hoo, Vinegar Day, National Homeless Animals Day and Candlelight Vigils. Aug 22 - Be an Angel, National Punctuation Day. Aug 24 - Vesuvius Day. Aug 25 - Kiss and Make Up Day. Aug 26 - Women's Equality Day. Aug 28 - Race Your Mouse Around the Icons Day. Aug 29 - According to Hoyle Day. Aug 31 - Love Litigating Lawyers Day.

* Means a Presidential Proclamation has been made.

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Men are so competitive that we even "out-die" women in all 15 of the major causes of death in the U.S. Most of these deaths are preventable with a positive change in life-style, eating habits, and/or general health care. Let's not strive so hard to hold on to this record. See what you can change now to live a healthier life.
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