Daily Thoughts & Issues

IN THIS ISSUE:

FEBRUARY 23

Days left until the next millennium 01.01.3001
 

Photo of the Week
Achieve Your Dreams

February 23 - Independence Day in Brunei and Guyana. * In 1954, the firsts anti-polio inoculation of schoolchildren begins in Pittsburgh, PA using the serum developed by Dr. Jonas E. Salk. * Dow-Jones Tops 4,000 (1995) * Researchers in Scotland announced the first cloning of an adult animal, a lamb named Dolly with a genetic identical to that of her mother. (1997) * After an air campaign lasting slightly more than a month, Allied forces launched the ground offensive against Iraqi forces. The relentless air attacks had devastated troops and targets in both Iraq and Kuwait. * In the first attack on the US mainland, a Japanese submarine fired 25 shells at an oil refinery at the edge of Ellwood Oil Field 12 miles west of Santa Barbara, CA. (1942) One shell made a direct hit on the rigging causing minor damage. * Birthdays: Peter Fonda, Johnny (John Dawson III) Winter, W.E.B. DuBois, George Frederick Handel, William L. Shirer, Roberto Martin Antonia (Bobby) Bonilla, Samuel Pepys, Edward Lee (Too Tall) Jones, Howard Jones.

DAILY THOUGHTS

....the only people for me are the mad ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue center light pop and everybody goes "Awww!" - Jack Kerouac. I bow to Bill, Larry and Billy, good men who died too soon. Today consider the dead. A Man's Book of the Spirit: Daily Meditations for a Mindful Life

Romance scarcely had a chance in the sexual bartering that engaged the energies and egos of the Me Generation (born 1956-65). The technological symbol of their aversion to intimacy is the answering machine. Its greatest utility is to avoid contact. New Passages

Accepting Change. For most of us addicts any sort of change is difficult, often threatening. We want the world to be as we expect it to be. Solid. Steady. We want to get up in the morning with one day in place. Predictable. Reassuring. If there is a question anywhere in our day, say an appointment that may or may not come off, we will nag at that question either till we get it settled or, most likely, till it unsettles us. All day long we will move through an otherwise smooth-flowing day with a dark cloud over our head because... 1. We do not know. 2. We cannot exert control. 3. Once again, as always, we are not God. Because we are not God, we have to work with other people. We have to accommodate other people into our schedules. We have to develop the ability not to make a big deal out of things, specifically the unpredictable things that other people do. For the good of my soul and the good of my relationships and the general good of the day, I try to welcome change. Sometimes I even cultivate change. I ask my boss what he wants me to do. I ask those close to me what they want to do. And then - it's just like jumping in the ocean - I do it. Stepping Stones to Recovery for Men

A man who studieth revenge keeps his own wounds green. - Francis Bacon. Where do we direct our energy? Are we spending time and thought on how we have been wronged? On the unfairness of life? Those who consume their resources in this way have few left for growth and development. Their wounds stay open for years, and they block the healing. What will we need to set aside our resentments and hateful attitudes? Perhaps we have been passively waiting for the other guy to make amends. That only puts our enemies in charge of us. It would be better if we could say, "I am going to move on. The change that is needed for me to heal will come from within me. I will not put my happiness in another's hands." More than revenge, we want a life worth living - for ourselves and the ones we love. We can give our energies to that. Lift from me the desire for revenge. Replace it with the fullness of a healed life. Touchstones: A Book of Daily Meditations for Men

I wish she knew that she could tell me anything in bed and I won't think she's weird. - Frank, 26. The Best of 1001 Sex Secrets Every Man & Woman Should Know

Quench Nighttime Thirsts. If you child doesn't have a table near his bed, a drink holder (the kind hung on car windows) hooked onto the headboard can hold a cup of water for quenching a nighttime thirst. Parents Tips & Tricks

In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock. - Thomas Jefferson Achieve Your Dreams

Things to Be Happy About: Still "tasting" a memorable meal. A slam-dunkin' 14-year-old. Nuzzling into someone's shoulder. 14,000 Things to Be Happy About

Sometimes it's smart to be scared. Really Important Stuff My Kids Have Taught Me

You can either continue to fight against your body's reality by complaining bitterly and immersing yourself in self-depreciation, or you can make the very subtle but powerful mental shift into acceptance. Either way, the reality remains the same. Acceptance or rejection of your body only carries weight in your mind; your perception has no bearing on how your body actually looks, so why not choose the ease of acceptance rather than the pain of ejection? If Life is a Game, These are the Rules

Maturity is the balance between courage and consideration. If a person can express his or her feelings and convictions with courage, balanced with consideration for the feelings and convictions of another person, he or she is mature, particularly if the issue is very important to both parties. Seven Habits of Highly Effective People

Women, rethink your makeup. Have you ever seen a face that was improved by the tons of makeup cosmetic manufacturers would have you wear - all with the purpose of making you look like you're not wearing makeup? Go for the natural look and a smile.  Simplify Your Life (Editor: I put this in for the men to support women in becoming more natural. If we preferred them without all the powder, they might not like us saying it, but at least they would know that there are men out there who like them the way they are - naturally.

Openly gay film director Gus Van Sant made his first film, Mala Noche (1985), which garnered him wide acclaim, on a $25,000 budget. He has continued to direct offbeat movies, including Drugstore Cowboy (1989), My Own Private Idaho (1991) and Even Cowgirls Get the Blues (1994).  Gay & Lesbian Calendar

Clutter can be a big source of stress. Once a year do an inventory of your home. If you haven't used something you've been storing for a year, sell it or give it away. Stress Busters

Have your daughter invite her friends over and ask each one to bring her favorite book. Each girl can tell a little about her book, then everyone can trade books - temporarily, of course! To Do Today

In War: Resolution. In Defeat: Defiance. In Victory: Magnanimity. In Peace: Goodwill. - Winston Churchill. Win the Day!

Call someone you love just to say, "Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite." Life's Little Instruction Calendar

Where will you find these colors?  1. Black belt. 2. Blue grass. 3. Green Mountains. 4. White mountains. 5. Black Hills. 6. Yellowstone. 7. Green Bay. 8. White Plains. (Answer below.) The Old Farmer's Almanac

Emotional Cheating. People are so often shocked when they learn that so-and-so has been having a sexual affair, cheating on the marriage. But they fail to notice that both wife and husband have been cheating - emotionally - for some time before the sexual cheating ever began. There is never an innocent "victim" and a guilty "cheat". Well-nurtured love never invites the outside dalliance. Love, like orchids, cannot bear to be ignored. The care and feeding of romantic love requires continual lovework - weeding and pruning by negotiating conflicts and hurt feelings, while at the same time continually fertilizing with real romance and deepening intimacy. Holding back, lying, refusing to fight, denying love gifts, giving top loyalty to parents or kids - it's all emotional cheating, which is every bit as damaging as sexual cheating. Sexual cheating is always the byproduct of both people's neglect. Honor love with your full commitment. Give your love what it needs to grow and flourish, and neither of you will be tempted to stray. "Love does not brook neglect." Menander Opening to Love 365 Days a Year

Quejarse (kehHAHRseh) To complain. Deja de quejarte!  Stop complaining! Living Language

Answer: 1. Alabama. 2. Kentucky. 3. Vermont. 4. New Hampshire. 5. South Dakota and Wyoming. 6. Wyoming. 7. Wisconsin. 8 New York

TODAY'S ISSUE: WORTHINESS

Literature is strewn with the wreckage of men who have minded beyond reason the opinions of others. - Virginia Woolf

What makes us run so far, so fast, leaving little energy left for anything we really want to do?

Maybe, at least in part, it's because we're too eager to please, racing toward someone else's standards. Whether these false standards and demands were set by our fathers, our wives' fathers, or by the men and women for whom we work, we are too aware of the opinions and the tests others put to us and to our abilities and talents. I must learn to trust my opinions and pay less attention to those of others, some of whom have designed theirs to trip me up or make me fail. Meditations For Men Who Do Too Much

Hey Man: Did you make a difference yesterday? Let us know at Contact Us. For one week, don't tell people what you do. What Every Man Needs to Know Want to make a difference but you don't know where to start?

 

BOOK OF THE WEEK

Manhood: The pleasures and regrets of a husband, father and son by Michael Chabon. A shy manifesto, an impractical handbook, the true story of a fabulist, an entire life in parts and pieces, this book is the first sustained work of personal writing from the author. In these insightful, provocative, slyly interlinked essays, one of our most brilliant and humane writers presents his autobiography and his vision of life in the way so many of us experience our own lives: as a series of reflections, regrets and reexaminations, each sparked by an encounter, in the present, that holds some legacy of the past. HarperCollins, www.harpercollings.com, 2009 ISBN 978-0-06-149018-7

SPECIAL URLs

 

MENSTUFF COLUMNS BY AUTHOR

  • The Advice Diva - The Advice Diva - relationship and sexuality issues discussed - www.menstuff.org/columns/advicediva/archive.html
  • Peter Alsop - Song of the Month - www.menstuff.org/columns/alsop/archive.html
  • Reid Baer - A Man Overboard - Interview of the Month - www.menstuff.org/columns/overboard/archive.html
  • Reid Baer - Poetry - poetry read on YouTube - www.menstuff.org/columns/baer/archive.html
  • Molly Barrow - Shrink About This - www.menstuff.org/columns/barrow/archive.html
  • Peter Baylies - At Home Dads - on at-home-dad issues that impact fathers who stay at home to raise their kids - www.menstuff.org/columns/baylies/archive.html
  • Tom Blake - Middle-Age Relationships - from an expert on dating after 50. www.menstuff.org/columns/blake/archive.html
  • Mark Brandenburg - Great Fathers - on fathering issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/greatfathers/archive.html
  • Ted Braude - BoysWork - a columnist in the The Detroit Free Press "Body and Mind" section www.menstuff.org/columns/braude/archive.html
  • Armin Brott - A Father's Guide - hosts "Positive Parenting" on radio www.menstuff.org/columns/brott/archive.html
  • Dan Bulf - Get Real - weekly pod cast on men's issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/bulf/archive.html
  • Ken Byers - Transition - on men's life transitions - www.menstuff.org/columns/byers/archive.html
  • Sandra L. Caron - Sex Talk - college students get answers to their questions - www.menstuff.org/columns/sextalk/archive.html
  • Neil Chethik - Relationships - www.menstuff.org/columns/chethik/archive.html
  • Otto & Susie Collins - Susie and Otto - relationship issues discussed - www.menstuff.org/columns/susie&otto/archive.html
  • David Copeland - How to Succeed with Women - www.menstuff.org/columns/howtosucceed/archive.html
  • Forrest Craver - Spirituality & Social Change - www.menstuff.org/columns/craver/archive.html
  • Layne & Paul Cutright - Powerful Partnerships - relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/cutright/archive.html
  • Ron DesMarais - Cavemen in the Kitchen - great recipes for men - www.menstuff.org/columns/desmarais/archive.html
  • Jed Diamond - Irritable Male Syndrome - www.menstuff.org/columns/diamond/archive.html
  • Doc Love - Women Don't Lie, Man Don't Listen - answers to relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/doclov/archive.html
  • Barry Durdant-Hollamby - Creating Change - creating change in your life - www.menstuff.org/columns/durdant/archive.html
  • Irv Engel - The Real Deal - www.menstuff.org/columns/engel/archive.html
  • Nancy Fagan - Expert Dating Advice - with Nancy Fagan - www.menstuf.org/columns/fagan/archive.html
  • Warren Farrell - Men's Issues: Facts and Perspectives www.menstuff.org/columns/farrell/archive.html
  • Leonard Felder - Wake Up or Break Up - www.menstuff.org/columns/felder/archive.html
  • Marty Friedman - Strong Men, Strong Marriage - www.menstuff.org/columns/friedman/archive.html
  • Kim Garretson - Mansgland - using humor to encourage prostate exams - www.menstuff.org/columns/mansgland/archive.html
  • Lion Goodman - How to get Women to Love You - www.menstuff.org/columns/goodman/archive.html
  • Liz Halliday - In a Man's World - www.menstuff.org/columns/halliday/archive.html
  • Rick Hanson - Just One Thing - www.menstuff.org/columns/hanson/archive.html
  • Tim Hartnett - Daddyman Speaks - being a father www.menstuff.org/columns/daddyman/archive.html
  • John Hershey - Blood, Phlegm & Bile: Parenting with Humor - He writes a syndicated biweekly humor column about parenting and family life. www.menstuff.org/columns/hershey/archive.html
  • Gary Hoeber - Psychotherapy as Soul Work, www.menstuff.org/columns/hoeber/archive.html
  • Patrick Houser - Fathers Make a World of Difference, www.menstuff.org/columns/houser/archive.html
  • Paul Joannides - The Guide to Getting It On - on sex - www.menstuff.org/columns/getiton/archive.html
  • Jack Kahn - NOMAS Boston - www.menstuff.org/columns/kahn/archive.html
  • Patrick Kennedy - Seniors - www.menstuff.org/columns/kennedy/archive.html
  • Joe Kort - Gaydar - to increase understanding between gay and het men - www.menstuff.org/columns/kort/archive.html
  • David Kundtz - David Kundtz - presents seminars, workshops, retreats, and conference presentations in the areas of men's emotional health, stress management, and spirituality. www.menstuff.org/columns/kundtz/archive.html
  • Bruce Linton - Dr. Dad - on fathering - www.menstuff.org/columns/drdad/archive.html
  • Ron Louis - How to Succeed with Women - www.menstuff.org/columns/howtosucceed/archive.html
  • Wendy McElroy - Wendy McElroy on Feminism, www.menstuff.org/columns/mcelroy/archive.html
  • Robert N. Minor - Minor Details - on GBT sexuality - www.menstuff.org/columns/minordetails/archive.html
  • Robert L. Moore - Man & Mythology - www.menstuff.org/columns/moore/archive.html
  • Dennis W. Neder - Being a Man - general questions about men's lives - www.menstuff.org/columns/neder/archive.html
  • Marty Nemko - Worklife - general questions about men and work - www.menstuff.org/columns/nemko/archive.html
  • Eli Newberger - Eli Newberger - general information on men's lives - www.menstuff.org/columns/newberger/archive.html
  • Linda Nielsen - Embracing the Father - working with the father/daughter relationship. www.menstuff.org/columns/nielsen/archive.html
  • Kathy Noll - Bullies and Youth Violence - working with schools, teachers and parents to end school violence - www.menstuff.org/columns/noll/archive.html
  • Mark Phillips - Stay-at-Home-Dads - helping men maintain that which makes us men, instead of becoming hairy Mom-substitutes - www.menstuff.org/columns/phillips/archive.html
  • Carey Roberts - Socialism & Feminism - is a social commentator on political correctness. www.menstuff.org/columns/roberts/archive.html
  • Perry Rose - Dating, Relationship, Sex
  • Glenn Sacks - His Side - on fathering - www.menstuff.org/columns/sacks/archive.html
  • Trudy Schuett - Domestic Violence - serving the under-represented www.menstuff.org/columns/schuett/archive.html
  • Carl J. Schutt - Circumcision - social commentator on circumcision - www.menstuff.org/columns/schutt/archive.html
  • Hugo Schwyzer - A Pro-feminist's Response - www.menstuff.org/columns/schwyzer/archive.html
  • Michael Shaffran - Men's Issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/shaffran/archive.html
  • Judith Sherven - Judith & Jim - discussion and answers regarding relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/judith&jim/archive.html
  • Judith Sherven - The New Intimacy - www.menstuff.org/columns/newintimacy/archive.html
  • George Simons - Bellicose Veins - is a US specialist in intercultural and gender communication who hangs out in Mandelieu - la Napoule, France, as well as in Santa Cruz, CA. www.menstuff.org/columns/simons/archive.html
  • Andy Smith - Hard Hat Brotherhood - www.menstuff.org/columns/hardhat/archive.html
  • David B. Smith - Fighting Father Dave - www.menstuff.org/columns/smith/archive.html
  • Jim Sniechowski - Judith & Jim - discussion and answers regarding relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/judith&jim/archive.html
  • Jim Sniechowski - The New Intimacy - www.menstuff.org/columns/newintimacy/archive.html
  • Reena Sommer - Custody - is an internationally recognized relationship and divorce consultant. www.menstuff.org/columns/sommer/archive.html
  • R. Don Steele - Don Steele - relationship questions answered -
    www.menstuff.org/columns/steele/archive.html
  • David Steinberg - Comes Naturally - on sexuality - www.menstuff.org/columns/steinberg/archive.html
  • Mary Lou St Lucas - A Mother's Love - www.menstuf.org/columns/stlucas/archive.html
  • Surprise - Surprise Author - From a new columnist every month - www.menstuff.org/columns/surprise/archive.html
  • Steven Svoboda - Fatherhood, Activism and the Law www.menstuff.org/columns/svoboda/archive.html
  • Michael Taylor - A New Conversation with Men - www.menstuff.org/columns/taylor/archive.html
  • Bruce Van Horn - Yoga for Men - issues around the health benefits of yoga for men - www.menstuff.org/yoga/archive.html
  • Michael Webb - Secrets of Blissful Relationships - on relationship - www.menstuff.org/columns/bliss/archive.html
  • Stuart Wilde - Spirituality - www.menstuff.org/columns/wilde/archive.html
  • Dr.Williams - Sex Health - on sexual health - Dr. Williams, www.menstuff.org/columns/sexhealth/archive.html
  • KC Wilson - On Gender Politics is a social commentator and author. www.menstuff.org/columns/wilson/archive.html

Plus

  • Health Tips - on general health - www.menstuff.org/columns/healthtips/archive.html
  • Independent Means - resources for raising financially fit kids - www.menstuff.org/columns/independentmeans/archive.html
  • Numbers - www.menstuff.org/columns/numbers/archive.html
  • Questions - www.menstuff.org/columns/q&a/archive.html
  • Surprise - from a new columnist every month - www.menstuff.org/columns/surprise/archive.html
  • Words Can Heal - helping children grow up healthy - www.menstuff.org/columns/wordscanheal/archive.html
  • Wuzup?! - National or international events happening this month - www.menstuff.org/columns/whassup/archive.html

AWARENESS EVENTS THIS MONTH

February is Heart Disease Prevention (Healthy Heart), National Children's Dental Health, Ethnic Equality and *National African-American History Month - a time to honor all peoples and their positive traditions; time to meditate on the equality of all peoples, on the respect due to them and God-Goddess manifesting as African, Asian, European, Latin, Middle Eastern, Native American and Oceanic. The Mystic's Wheel of the Year 2000, AMD/Low Vision Awareness; *American Heart; A Day of Hearts: Child Awareness; International Boost Self-Esteem; International Expect Success; Library Lovers', Marfan Syndrome Awareness; National Children's Dental Health; National Sign Up for Summer Camp; National Weddings; National Wild Bird Feeding; and Plant the Seeds of Greatness Month.

Jan 29-Feb 4: *National Consumer Protection Week. Jan 30-Feb 3: Mid-Winter/Candlemas. Feb 2-9: I Hate Financial Planning Awareness Week. Feb 3-9: Cardiac Rehabilitation Week. Feb 4-10: International Personal and Business Coaching: National School Counseling Week. Feb 6-13: Art of Communication Week. Feb 10-16: Celebration of Love; Enabled Entrepreneurs; Freelance Writers Appreciation; Heart Failure Awareness; Home for Birds; Materials Testing; National Child Passenger Safety Awareness; National Family, Career and Community Leaders of America; National Resurrect Romance Week. Feb 1-17: International Flirting Week. Feb 12-19: National Condom Week. Feb 16-23: National FFA Week. Feb 17-23: International Friendship Week. Feb 18-22: Brotherhood-Sisterhood Week. Feb 19-26: Eating Disorders Awareness Week. Feb 22-24: Second Honeymoon Weekend. Feb 25-Mar 1: Read Me Week. Feb 25-Mar 3: Telecommuter Appreciation Week. Feb 1: Candlemas; Ground Hog Day. Feb 2: National Men's Grooming Day. Feb 3: Torture Abolition Day. Feb 4:  Weathermen's Day. Feb. 5: Dump Your "Significant Jerk"; Pay-a-Compliment Day. Feb 6: National Girls and Women in Sports; Wave All Your Fingers at Your Neighbors Day. Feb 7: Laugh and Grow Rich Day. Feb 8: National "DAV" Day. Feb 10: Be Electrific; Motivation; Satisfied Staying Single Day. Feb 11: Lost Penny Day. Feb 12: Black Love; Get a Different Name Day. Feb 13: Race Relations; Read to Your Child Day. Feb 14: Congenital Heart Defect Awareness; National Have-A-Heart; Heart 2 Heart; St.Valentine's Day. Feb 15: Remember the Maine Day. Feb 16: Who Shall I Be Day. Feb 17: National PTA Founders' Day.. Feb 18: President's Day. Feb 19: Student Volunteer Day. Feb 24: Children's Day. Feb 25: For Pete's Sake Day. Feb 27: Spay USA; Paczki Day. Feb 29: Bachelors' Day

* Means a Presidential Proclamation has been made.

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Men are so competitive that we even "out-die" women in all 15 of the major causes of death in the U.S. Most of these deaths are preventable with a positive change in life-style, eating habits, and/or general health care. Let's not strive so hard to hold on to this record. See what you can change now to live a healthier life.
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