Daily Thoughts & Issues

IN THIS ISSUE:

AUGUST 29

Days left until the next millennium 01.01.3001

Photo of the Week
David Madison/Tony Stone Images
Achieve Your Dreams

August 29 - The Beatles perform their last live concert at Candlestick Park in San Francisco (1966). They break up in 1970. * Amistad Seized (1839). 53 Africans were seized near modern-day Sierra Leone, taken to Cuba and sold as slaves. While being transferred to another part of the island on the ship Amistad, led by the African, Cinque, they seized control of the ship, telling the crew to take them back to Africa. However, the crew secretly changed course and the ship landed at Long Island, NY, where it and its "cargo" were seized as salvage. The Amistad was towed to New Haven, CT where the Africans were imprisoned and a lengthy legal battle began to determine if they were property to be returned to Cuba or free men. John Quincy Adams took their case all the way to the Supreme Court, where in 1841 it was determined that they were free and could return to Africa. amistad.mysticseaport.org * Royal George sinks (1792). This prized British battleship sank due to fatal human error in one of the worst maritime disasters in history. While the ship was being repaired at Spithead, the port side was tilted too close to the waterline. A gust of wind lowered the ship even further, allowing tons of water to flood into its open gunports. The ship sank within minutes before many of the 1,300 on board realized what was happening and more than 900 people drowned. * The Supreme Soviet, the parliament of the USSR, suspended all activities of the Communist Party, seizing its property and bringing to an end the institution that ruled the Soviet Union for nearly 75 years (1991). The action followed an unsuccessful coup that sought to overthrow the government of Soviet President Mikhail Gorbachev but instead prompted a sweeping wave of democratic change. Gorbachev quit as party leader August 24. * Birthday of Henry Berch (1811), nonviolent advocate for animal rights; day to advocate for animal rights; day to advocate for laws protecting animals from abuse. William Friedkin, Oliver Wendell Holmes, John Locke, Charlie Parker, Sir Richard Attenborough, Carl Banks, William Friedkin, Richard Gere, Elliott Gould, Robin Leach, Mark Morris, William Edward (Will) Perdue III, Michael Jackson.

DAILY THOUGHTS

In your sixties,you own your own integrity - or despair - as inescapably as your joys and sorrows are etched into the face that looks back at you from the mirror every morning. New Passages

If your children are demanding brand-name back-to-school items, give them the privilege of helping to pay for them. Dr. Buff's 365 Day Parenting Calendar

Romance may lead us into a more abandoned life, where we find experiences more intense and more complicated than we had ever known before. Soul Mates

Fashion models make it seem like the absence of any meat on a woman is sexy. I wish women knew that's not true. - Roger, 29 The best was on a baseball field in the middle of the night with the dewy, fresh-cut grass against my bare skin. - Vicky, 27 Best of 1001 Sex Secrets Every Man & Woman Should Know

When we educate people, if we use the word seriously, we do not stuff something new into their minds; rather, we lead this something out of them; we bring it forth from the unconscious into their awareness. They were the possessors of the knowledge all along. The Road Less Traveled

Make your own way. Achieve Your Dreams

Things to Be Happy About:  A new owner's manual. Dress cowboy boots. Verdi on the radio. 14,000 Things to Be Happy About

Lick your ice-cream cone before it gets a chance to melt. Really Important Stuff My Kids Have Taught Me

To take responsibility means you admit your accountability and acknowledge your influence and role in the circumstances in which you find yourself. It means you are answerable for your behavior and you fully accept any consequences created by your actions.  If Life is a Game, These are the Rules

Interdependence is a choice only independent people can make. Unless we are willing to achieve real independence, it's foolish to try to develop human relation skills. We might even have some degree of success when the sun is shining. But when the difficult times come - and they will - we won't have the foundation to keep things together. Seven Habits of Highly Effective People

Moving simplified: Most people start packing long before they need to. As a result, the house looks like a disaster area for weeks before the actual move. The average household can be packed up in less than a week. Set aside one room in the house in which packed boxes can be kept out of the way while you're packing up. Simplify Your Life

Have appropriate consequences for negative behavior already in mind when laying down rules for your children. Discuss the consequences with the children as you explain the rules. Then, when rules are broken, allow the consequences to speak louder than your voice. Stress Busters

Choose a theme for your next slumber party. For example, I had one called comedy central. We rented comedies, we made funny-looking foods, and we all dressed as silly as we could. To Do Today

The way to get things done is to stimulate competition. I do not mean in a sordid, money-getting way, but in the desire to excel. - Charles Schwab.  Win the Day!

La quemadura. (kehmahDOOrah) Burn. Tengo quemadura del sol. I have a sunburn. Living Language

 

TODAY'S ISSUE: MISSION - MAKING A DIFFERENCE

I believe that each one of us are on this earth for a reason, and one greater than making money and buying things. Something way beyond the realm of personal achievement. However, many of us are going through life without any particular direction except to make money and support a family. That's not bad. It's just that something is lacking. Men who have found a mission in life, something they are willing to stand for, regardless of the odds, carry the world in a very different way. And, by mission, I'm not talking about goals that can be accomplished in a person's lifetime. A mission is something that can't be accomplished, in all likelihood, in your lifetime, but if you devote time and energy to it, it may come about in your children's lifetime or their children's lifetime. I'm reminded of the story of the Chinese laborer who had to climb a large mountain every day in order to get to work in the next valley. In the morning, when he reached the top, he would pick up a stone. At the bottom of the mountain, he would leave the stone. In the evening upon returning home, he would climb the mountain, pick up a stone at the top, carry it to the bottom, and leave it. Day after day, year after year, he did this. When asked what he was doing, he explained. When the response was "You'll never be able to walk from our village to the next village without climbing the mountain."  He said, "I know. But if I do this, and my children do this, and their children do this, someday my ancestors might have an easier journey." A mission to make life less difficult for those he will never know.

We used to ask "What are you willing to die for?" What do you say? Too many respond with "Nothing." Willing to live on their knees rather than die standing up for something important. Like the lone man standing in front of the tank in Tienanmen Square, and the lone gunner inside the tank who refused to shoot or move forward. Those simple acts of courage in the moment, changed the course of history. Is there ANYTHING you are willing to die for?  Anything you are willing to stand alone for?  And, if that is too much to ask, how about "What are you willing to stand up for?"

My mission since 1982 has been to end men's isolation. And, it is pretty much a full time effort. It has been discouraging at times when a man I knew well in the men's movement committed suicide. Nobody knew. And it's happened a number of times. It gets frustrating seeing even conscious men having difficulty allowing their feelings to show, or to cry at their father's funeral, admit they are afraid of losing their job in a pending takeover, hardening themselves to the softening power of grief. And yet, if I continue to concentrate on everything I can do to end men's isolation, and some other men devote themselves to this mission, and future generations of men invite other men to come out of isolation, maybe, just maybe, my children's children will be freed from the debilitating yoke of homophobia and fear and be able to live out their lives as who they were meant to be and not feel compelled to live some narrow path set with all kinds of mines of conformity. I don't ever expect to see isolation eliminated in my lifetime, but I can sure see it in my dreams. A time when real men hold to and encompass their inherent selves with no effort by society being made to train them differently.Being able to embody all the attributes they are born with (see poem on our homepage). Someday.

So, what is your mission and when will you start living it? As Mikhail Gorbachev said, "What the 21st century will be like depends on whether we learn the lessons of the 20th century and avoid repeating its worst mistakes. For example, it would be disastrous if we began to renew our entire system of social relations by acting like a bull in a china shop." - Gordon Clay

Hey Man: Did you make a difference yesterday? Let us know at Contact Us. Frederick Douglass, an abolitionist, said, "If there is no struggle, there is no progress."  African American History. Che Guevara said, "If you aren't getting shot at, you aren't doing the work."  How are you and apathy getting along?  Is there anything you are willing to die for, stand up for, even if it leaves you alone? Are you making a difference? Want to make a difference but you don't know where to start?

BOOK OF THE WEEK

 

 Infinite Playlist: How to have conversations (not conflict) with your kids about music. by Todd Stocker. Your daughter listens to the radio on the Internet. Your son has iPod buds permanently attached to his ears. You've heard your youngest innocently sing lyrics that make you gasp. Times are changing. With iTunes and MP3s readily available online, our teens are encountering new musical influences every day. How can we help our kids make God-honoring decisions when it comes to their playlists? Don't get swept up in a playlist war. Let the author teach you how to have conversations, not conflict, with your kids about music. Realizing that one-size-doesn't-fit-all, he offers guidelines to help you and your teens decide what music is acceptable and healthy. Born out of a deal he made with his son, his practical tips foster open conversations and valuable discussion with your teen. An accessible and quick read, this book features notes from the author's son, who provides a young music lover's perspective and demonstrates how conversation is not only possible, but also fun. Kregel Publications, 2010, ISBN 978-0-8254-3656-7

SPECIAL URLs

 

MENSTUFF COLUMNS BY AUTHOR

  • The Advice Diva - The Advice Diva - relationship and sexuality issues discussed - www.menstuff.org/columns/advicediva/archive.html
  • Peter Alsop - Song of the Month - www.menstuff.org/columns/alsop/archive.html
  • Reid Baer - A Man Overboard - Interview of the Month - www.menstuff.org/columns/overboard/archive.html
  • Reid Baer - Poetry - poetry read on YouTube - www.menstuff.org/columns/baer/archive.html
  • Molly Barrow - Shrink About This - www.menstuff.org/columns/barrow/archive.html
  • Peter Baylies - At Home Dads - on at-home-dad issues that impact fathers who stay at home to raise their kids - www.menstuff.org/columns/baylies/archive.html
  • Tom Blake - Middle-Age Relationships - from an expert on dating after 50. www.menstuff.org/columns/blake/archive.html
  • Mark Brandenburg - Great Fathers - on fathering issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/greatfathers/archive.html
  • Ted Braude - BoysWork - a columnist in the The Detroit Free Press "Body and Mind" section www.menstuff.org/columns/braude/archive.html
  • Armin Brott - A Father's Guide - hosts "Positive Parenting" on radio www.menstuff.org/columns/brott/archive.html
  • Dan Bulf - Get Real - weekly pod cast on men's issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/bulf/archive.html
  • Ken Byers - Transition - on men's life transitions - www.menstuff.org/columns/byers/archive.html
  • Sandra L. Caron - Sex Talk - college students get answers to their questions - www.menstuff.org/columns/sextalk/archive.html
  • Neil Chethik - Relationships - www.menstuff.org/columns/chethik/archive.html
  • Otto & Susie Collins - Susie and Otto - relationship issues discussed - www.menstuff.org/columns/susie&otto/archive.html
  • David Copeland - How to Succeed with Women - www.menstuff.org/columns/howtosucceed/archive.html
  • Forrest Craver - Spirituality & Social Change - www.menstuff.org/columns/craver/archive.html
  • Layne & Paul Cutright - Powerful Partnerships - relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/cutright/archive.html
  • Ron DesMarais - Cavemen in the Kitchen - great recipes for men - www.menstuff.org/columns/desmarais/archive.html
  • Jed Diamond - Irritable Male Syndrome - www.menstuff.org/columns/diamond/archive.html
  • Doc Love - Women Don't Lie, Man Don't Listen - answers to relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/doclov/archive.html
  • Barry Durdant-Hollamby - Creating Change - creating change in your life - www.menstuff.org/columns/durdant/archive.html
  • Irv Engel - The Real Deal - www.menstuff.org/columns/engel/archive.html
  • Nancy Fagan - Expert Dating Advice - with Nancy Fagan - www.menstuf.org/columns/fagan/archive.html
  • Warren Farrell - Men's Issues: Facts and Perspectives www.menstuff.org/columns/farrell/archive.html
  • Leonard Felder - Wake Up or Break Up - www.menstuff.org/columns/felder/archive.html
  • Marty Friedman - Strong Men, Strong Marriage - www.menstuff.org/columns/friedman/archive.html
  • Kim Garretson - Mansgland - using humor to encourage prostate exams - www.menstuff.org/columns/mansgland/archive.html
  • Lion Goodman - How to get Women to Love You - www.menstuff.org/columns/goodman/archive.html
  • Liz Halliday - In a Man's World - www.menstuff.org/columns/halliday/archive.html
  • Rick Hanson - Your Wise Brain - www.menstuff.org/columns/hanson/archive.html
  • Tim Hartnett - Daddyman Speaks - being a father www.menstuff.org/columns/daddyman/archive.html
  • John Hershey - Blood, Phlegm & Bile: Parenting with Humor - He writes a syndicated biweekly humor column about parenting and family life. www.menstuff.org/columns/hershey/archive.html
  • Gary Hoeber - Psychotherapy as Soul Work, www.menstuff.org/columns/hoeber/archive.html
  • Patrick Houser - Fathers Make a World of Difference, www.menstuff.org/columns/houser/archive.html
  • Paul Joannides - The Guide to Getting It On - on sex - www.menstuff.org/columns/getiton/archive.html
  • Jack Kahn - NOMAS Boston - www.menstuff.org/columns/kahn/archive.html
  • Patrick Kennedy - Seniors - www.menstuff.org/columns/kennedy/archive.html
  • Joe Kort - Gaydar - to increase understanding between gay and het men - www.menstuff.org/columns/kort/archive.html
  • David Kundtz - David Kundtz - presents seminars, workshops, retreats, and conference presentations in the areas of men's emotional health, stress management, and spirituality. www.menstuff.org/columns/kundtz/archive.html
  • Bruce Linton - Dr. Dad - on fathering - www.menstuff.org/columns/drdad/archive.html
  • Ron Louis - How to Succeed with Women - www.menstuff.org/columns/howtosucceed/archive.html
  • Tom Matlack - Tom Matlack - Good Men Project - www.menstuff.org/columns/matlack/archive.html
  • Wendy McElroy - Wendy McElroy on Feminism, www.menstuff.org/columns/mcelroy/archive.html
  • Robert N. Minor - Minor Details - on GBT sexuality - www.menstuff.org/columns/minordetails/archive.html
  • Robert L. Moore - Man & Mythology - www.menstuff.org/columns/moore/archive.html
  • Dennis W. Neder - Being a Man - general questions about men's lives - www.menstuff.org/columns/neder/archive.html
  • Marty Nemko - Worklife - general questions about men and work - www.menstuff.org/columns/nemko/archive.html
  • Eli Newberger - Eli Newberger - general information on men's lives - www.menstuff.org/columns/newberger/archive.html
  • Linda Nielsen - Embracing the Father - working with the father/daughter relationship. www.menstuff.org/columns/nielsen/archive.html
  • Kathy Noll - Bullies and Youth Violence - working with schools, teachers and parents to end school violence - www.menstuff.org/columns/noll/archive.html
  • Mark Phillips - Stay-at-Home-Dads - helping men maintain that which makes us men, instead of becoming hairy Mom-substitutes - www.menstuff.org/columns/phillips/archive.html
  • Carey Roberts - Socialism & Feminism - is a social commentator on political correctness. www.menstuff.org/columns/roberts/archive.html
  • Perry Rose - Dating, Relationship, Sex
  • Glenn Sacks - His Side - on fathering - www.menstuff.org/columns/sacks/archive.html
  • Trudy Schuett - Domestic Violence - serving the under-represented www.menstuff.org/columns/schuett/archive.html
  • Carl J. Schutt - Circumcision - social commentator on circumcision - www.menstuff.org/columns/schutt/archive.html
  • Hugo Schwyzer - A Pro-feminist's Response - www.menstuff.org/columns/schwyzer/archive.html
  • Michael Shaffran - Men's Issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/shaffran/archive.html
  • Judith Sherven - Judith & Jim - discussion and answers regarding relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/judith&jim/archive.html
  • Judith Sherven - The New Intimacy - www.menstuff.org/columns/newintimacy/archive.html
  • George Simons - Bellicose Veins - is a US specialist in intercultural and gender communication who hangs out in Mandelieu - la Napoule, France, as well as in Santa Cruz, CA. www.menstuff.org/columns/simons/archive.html
  • Andy Smith - Hard Hat Brotherhood - www.menstuff.org/columns/hardhat/archive.html
  • David B. Smith - Fighting Father Dave - www.menstuff.org/columns/smith/archive.html
  • Jim Sniechowski - Judith & Jim - discussion and answers regarding relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/judith&jim/archive.html
  • Jim Sniechowski - The New Intimacy - www.menstuff.org/columns/newintimacy/archive.html
  • Reena Sommer - Custody - is an internationally recognized relationship and divorce consultant. www.menstuff.org/columns/sommer/archive.html
  • R. Don Steele - Don Steele - relationship questions answered -
    www.menstuff.org/columns/steele/archive.html
  • David Steinberg - Comes Naturally - on sexuality - www.menstuff.org/columns/steinberg/archive.html
  • Mary Lou St Lucas - A Mother's Love - www.menstuf.org/columns/stlucas/archive.html
  • Surprise - Surprise Author - From a new columnist every month - www.menstuff.org/columns/surprise/archive.html
  • Steven Svoboda - Fatherhood, Activism and the Law www.menstuff.org/columns/svoboda/archive.html
  • Michael Taylor - A New Conversation with Men - www.menstuff.org/columns/taylor/archive.html
  • Bruce Van Horn - Yoga for Men - issues around the health benefits of yoga for men - www.menstuff.org/yoga/archive.html
  • Michael Webb - Secrets of Blissful Relationships - on relationship - www.menstuff.org/columns/bliss/archive.html
  • Stuart Wilde - Spirituality - www.menstuff.org/columns/wilde/archive.html
  • Dr.Williams - Sex Health - on sexual health - Dr. Williams, www.menstuff.org/columns/sexhealth/archive.html
  • KC Wilson - On Gender Politics is a social commentator and author. www.menstuff.org/columns/wilson/archive.html

Plus

  • Health Tips - on general health - www.menstuff.org/columns/healthtips/archive.html
  • Independent Means - resources for raising financially fit kids - www.menstuff.org/columns/independentmeans/archive.html
  • Numbers - www.menstuff.org/columns/numbers/archive.html
  • Questions - www.menstuff.org/columns/q&a/archive.html
  • Surprise - from a new columnist every month - www.menstuff.org/columns/surprise/archive.html
  • Words Can Heal - helping children grow up healthy - www.menstuff.org/columns/wordscanheal/archive.html
  • Wuzup?! - National or international events happening this month - www.menstuff.org/columns/whassup/archive.html

AWARENESS EVENTS THIS MONTH

August is Admit You're Happy, Black Business, Cataract Awareness, Children's Eye Health and Safety, National Immunization, Spinal Muscular Atrophy Awareness, Children's Vision and Learning, Family Fun, National Back-to-School, National Inventor's, National Win with Civility, Spinal Muscular Atrophy Awareness Month. Aug 1-7 Simplify Your Life, World Breastfeeding, International Clown Week, Simplify Your Life Week. Aug 1-11 - World Breastfeeding Week. Aug 2-6 - Psychic Week Aug 8-14 - National Resurrect Romance, Thanks for All the Gifts Week. Aug 12-19 - Truck Drivers' Week. Aug 15-21 - National Health Center, Reduced the Clutter, Weird Contest Week. Aug 16-22 - National Avidatoin Week. Aug 22-29 - National Save Your Smile, National Truck Driver Appreciation Week. Aug 1 - National Kids, Respect for Parents, National Night Out Day. Apr 3 - Nation Night Out, Coast Guard day. Apr 6 - National Fresh Breath, National Pamper Yourself day. Aug 7 - National Mustard Day. Aug 8 - Admit You're Happy Day. Apr 9 - UN International Day of the World's Indigenous People. Apr 11 - Presidential Joke Day. Apr 12 - UN International Youth, Vinyl Record Day. Apr 14 - International Nagging, National Garage Sale Day. Aug 15 - National Relaxation Day, World Day of Keiki. Aug 16 - Stay Home with Your Kids, National Airborne Day. Aug 17 - Sandcastle Day. Aug 18 - Bad Poetry Day. Aug 19 - National Avidation Day. Aug 21 - Children's, Poets, Sandcastle and Sculpture. Southern Hemisphere Hoodie-Hoo, Vinegar Day, National Homeless Animals Day and Candlelight Vigils. Aug 22 - Be an Angel, National Punctuation Day. Aug 24 - Vesuvius Day. Aug 25 - Kiss and Make Up Day. Aug 26 - Women's Equality Day. Aug 28 - Race Your Mouse Around the Icons Day. Aug 29 - According to Hoyle Day. Aug 31 - Love Litigating Lawyers Day.

* Means a Presidential Proclamation has been made.

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Men are so competitive that we even "out-die" women in all 15 of the major causes of death in the U.S. Most of these deaths are preventable with a positive change in life-style, eating habits, and/or general health care. Let's not strive so hard to hold on to this record. See what you can change now to live a healthier life.
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