Daily Thoughts & Issues IN THIS ISSUE: JUNE 8 Daily Thoughts Book of the Day Book of the Week Photo of the Week Today's Issue: Abuse - sexual, physical, emotional, psychological, spiritual Tomorrow's Issue: Violence. See the list of the issues for International Men's Month. Menstuff columns by Author Awareness events this month Upcoming Men's Events Days left until the next millennium 01.01.3001 Photo of the Week Bill Hatcher/Adventure Photo & Film Achieve Your Dreams June 8 - International Men's Month. * Death day of Prophet Muhammad (632), mystical Father of Islam. He founded Islam after hearing the Holy Qur'an from the Angel Gabriel. He conceived Deity to be a compassionate genderless Unity. The Mystic's Wheel of the Year * Launch of Benera 9 and 10 (USSR) unmanned exploration vehicles to send the first pictures ever transmitted from Venus. * Iceland Lake Volcano erupts (1783) ultimately causing a famine and the deaths of nearly 10,000 people. * Bolivian Earthquake (1994) registering 8.2 on the Richter scale erupted 400 miles beneath the earth's surface in a remote area of Bolivia. It was felt as far north as Minneapolis. * Attack on the USS Liberty (1967) sailing in international waters off the Egyptian coast. Israeli jet planes and three Israeli torpedo boats attacked without warning. * Cochise Death Day (1874) a fierce and courageous leader of the Apache, after his arrest in 1861, he escaped and launched the Apache Wars, which lasted for 25 years. He died 13 years later near his stronghold in southeastern Arizona. * The Bill of Rights, which led to the first 10 amendments to the US Constitution, was first proposed by James Madison (1789) * Birthdays: Frank Lloyd Wright, Scott Adams, Andrew Weil, Keenen Ivory Wayans, Tim Berners-Lee, Bernie Casey, Frank Crick, James Darren, Griffin Dunne, Don Grady, Boz Scaggs, Jerry Stiller. DAILY THOUGHTS Super Sandbox Toys. Don't toss out empty spice containers or other shakers - peel off the labels and put them in the sandbox. My kids like to watch the sand empty as they pour it out. We use scoops from laundry detergent too, for shovels; just be sure to wash everything thoroughly first. Family Feelings Which gay Olympic champion appeared in a 1995 off-Broadway one-man show entitled The Only Thing Worse You Could Have Told Me? (Answer below.) Gay & Lesbian Calendar To care for the soul, we might make every effort to keep stories alive and to provide opportunities for the family to get together to renew its culture. Soul Mates Start planning now for a very special Fathers' Day. Touch the rest of my body for at least twenty minutes before you ever touch my vagina - Samantha, 43. I love it when she puts my penis between both her hands and rubs it like she's trying to start a fire - Jack, 26 Best of 1001 Sex Secrets Every Man & Woman Should Know Go as far as the eye can see, and when you get there, look father. - Dag Hammarskjold Achieve Your Dreams Things to Be Happy About: The last page of a good book. Shadows at sunset. Reflections in a pond. 14,000 Things to Be Happy About Learning how is more important than learning what.  Really Important Stuff My Kids Have Taught Me Support is the fuel that keeps you going when you want to stop.  If Life is a Game, These are the Rules Renewal is the principle - and the process - that empowers us to move on an upward spiral of growth and chance, of continuous improvement.  Seven Habits of Highly Effective People (What Have You Done For You Lately?) Take a vacation at home and use it to get to know your local community. Take a day and go to all the art galleries and museums. Walk every street in the downtown area or through residential areas. Have a picnic on the beach on in one of your local parks. Simplify Your Life Arms, Shoulders, Chest Exercise:  Clasp your hands behind your back and slowly pull your hands upward, with arms straight, until you can feel your muscles stretching. Hold for 10 seconds, relax, then repeat 3 times.  Stress Busters With you kids, play 20 Questions:  This game is still fun. Someone thinks of a person, a place or a thing. Everyone else asks yes-or-no questions to find out what the player is thinking of. As a group, ask only 20 questions. Who can you stump?  To Do Today People who are unable to motivate themselves must be content with mediocrity, no matter how impressive their other talents. - Andrew Carnegie. Win the Day! Desafiar (dehsahfeeAHR)  To challenge. Te desafio a una revancha. I challenge you to a rematch. Living Language Answer:  Greg Louganis. TODAY'S ISSUE: ABUSE: SEXUAL, PHYSICAL, EMOTIONAL, PSYCHOLOGICAL, SPIRITUAL The following defines what the recovery community currently describes. Sexual Abuse: "Emotional sexual" involving emotional enmeshment by the parent or child witness to sexual abuse or not providing appropriate and healthy sexuality information. "Physical sexual" involving intercourse, oral sex, anal sex, masturbation of the child, having a child masturbate an adult, sexual toughing (fondling), sexual kissing and sexual hugging; "overt (out in the open) explicit" involving voyeurism or exhibitionism; "covert (hidden, devious and indirect)" involving verbal sexual abuse or lack of appropriate boundary setting with the child; Incest: once referred to sexual activity or intercourse between close blood relatives. However, an expanded version is given here: a violation of trust between a caregiver and a child. It is abusive because of the power an adult has over the child. It involves sexually inappropriate acts or those with sexual overtones involving a child and a person who has authority by virtue of an ongoing emotional bond - a family member, extended family member or other person known to them whom they were led to trust. Molestation: occurring with non-family members. There are four general categories: (1) Physical including fondling, oral copulation or anal and vaginal intercourse. (2) Prostitution - soliciting or exploiting children for the purposes of prostitution including the sale of children for immoral purposes. (3) Pornography - engaging or helping to engage the child or children in pornographic activities (using children under 14 in photographs, tapes or films depicting lewd, lascivious and sexual activities. (4) Child rape - may be someone known to the family or a stranger. It occurs once every 45 minutes in the U.S. and one in five of all rape victims (excluding prison rape - visit June 11) is under twelve. Physical Abuse:  Abject: use of implements, face slapping, shaking, hair pulling, head banging, tickling into hysteria, lack of appropriate physical nurturing and intrusive procedures (i.e., non-medical enemas). Intellectual Abuse:  Attacks to the child's thinking process, over-control of the expression of the child's thoughts and failure on the part of the major caregiver to teach logical thinking and problem solving. Emotional Abuse:  Major caregiver refuses to let child express feelings, shames a child for their feelings or demonstrates improper expression of their own feelings in front of the child. Denying noncustodial parent un-incumbored visitation. Spiritual Abuse: Major caregiver disrespectful of child's reality and demands to be the child's Higher Power; perfection demanded of the child; child is over controlled; child is ignored, neglected or abandoned; child is indulged; major caregiver does not follow stated family rules or values; and shifting rules or hidden rules in the family. Ritual Abuse:  Religious addiction of the major caregiver; abuse at the hands of a religious caregiver; genital mutilation, in the US impacts primarily of boys, referred to as circumcision. Healing the Male Incest Wound. Unfortunately, most male sex abuse victims never recover because they are usually too ashamed to tell anyone. They just go on letting the shame poison their lives and maybe ultimately committing suicide. But men who do ask for help and get into recovery find great hope for healing the wounds. In the first stage of healing you acknowledge that sexual abuse has occurred. Maybe a teenage boy made you do sexual things with him or a baby-sitter fondled you. Maybe an older woman or man made you perform sex acts with them when you were young. You must tell yourself what happened and then tell someone else, usually a therapist. You next enter the stage of anger and rage, which must be expressed in a therapeutic way. The next stage involves grief work over the loss of certain relationships, innocence, identity and years of adulthood happiness. Finally, you learn to channel your negative energy into self-improvement. Ultimately, you are able to forgive and move from being a victim to being a survivor with the benefits of recovery. As you work through the stages of grief you open the doors to healing. The Man Within I'M A MAN She washes my penis Rolling it around in her hands. I feel aroused. She puts her lips on it kissing, gently sucking. I feel it growing. After all, "I'm a man." I should be enjoying this. Does it matter that I haven't turned two yet? This is my first and only poem. It was written while attending a gathering of poets and writers who had been sexually abused as children. It is said that 1 in 5 men suffered from sexual abuse as a child. My belief is that all of us, and particularly men, must come out of the closet around the ways we have been abused to help put an end to these problems. Gordon Clay See books on abuse-boys, abuse-child, abuse-ritual, abuse-sexual, pornography, recovery, violence-general, violence-domestic, violence-rape, violence-sexual, Issues on circumcision, circumcision general, sexual harassment, tv-violence, violence-domestic, violence-general and Resources abuse-recovery, alternatives to violence, circumcision, and family issues. Hey Man: Did you make a difference yesterday? Let us know at Contact Us. Get involved with a group that advocates protection of animals from human abuses. The Mystic's Wheel of the Year Identify your keys words to live by. Some words I particularly like:  renew, reclaim, recreate; meaningful, purposeful, useful; spirit, energy, creativity; ho-ho-ho, music, play, dance; laughter, spontaneity, mirth; connection, reconnection, forgiveness; relational, sensational, sensual; and restore, revitalize, and rejuvenate. What Every Man Needs to Know Want to make a difference but you don't know where to start? BOOK OF THE DAY 12 Steps that Can Save Your Life, Real-life stories from people who are walking the walk, Barb Rogers BOOK OF THE WEEK How to Find a Women...or Not: A 24 hour guide to dating, love and sex by Gary Morgenstein,. Tired of ordering Thai food and watching a Netflix on Saturday nights? Don't despair. Finding true love isn't impossible as long as you view the entire world as one big singles bar. Walking you dog, practicing yoga, riding mass transit, buying a book, even visiting a friend in the hospital can lead to the woman of your dreams. Critically-acclaimed novelist/playwright provides the romantic roadmap! Using his own battle-scarred experiences as a divorced man along with many years "spinning as a public relations specialist, the author takes men (and women eager to go inside the mind of a guy) on a step-by-step comic and erotic guide to love and sex. From making eye contact, dazzling opening lines, online etiquette, younger and older women and how to conduct yourself on a date to what goes into a successful relationship (in and out of the bedroom), this book is a riotous, poignant and indispensable blueprint for passion and commitment. Times Square Press, 2010, ISBN 9781450506922   MENSTUFF COLUMNS BY AUTHOR The Advice Diva - The Advice Diva - relationship and sexuality issues discussed - www.menstuff.org/columns/advicediva/archive.html Peter Alsop - Song of the Month - www.menstuff.org/columns/alsop/archive.html Reid Baer - A Man Overboard - Interview of the Month - www.menstuff.org/columns/overboard/archive.html Reid Baer - Poetry - poetry read on YouTube - www.menstuff.org/columns/baer/archive.html Molly Barrow - Shrink About This - www.menstuff.org/columns/barrow/archive.html Peter Baylies - At Home Dads - on at-home-dad issues that impact fathers who stay at home to raise their kids - www.menstuff.org/columns/baylies/archive.html Tom Blake - Middle-Age Relationships - from an expert on dating after 50. www.menstuff.org/columns/blake/archive.html Mark Brandenburg - Great Fathers - on fathering issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/greatfathers/archive.html Ted Braude - BoysWork - a columnist in the The Detroit Free Press "Body and Mind" section www.menstuff.org/columns/braude/archive.html Armin Brott - A Father's Guide - hosts "Positive Parenting" on radio www.menstuff.org/columns/brott/archive.html Dan Bulf - Get Real - weekly pod cast on men's issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/bulf/archive.html Ken Byers - Transition - on men's life transitions - www.menstuff.org/columns/byers/archive.html Sandra L. Caron - Sex Talk - college students get answers to their questions - www.menstuff.org/columns/sextalk/archive.html Neil Chethik - Relationships - www.menstuff.org/columns/chethik/archive.html Otto & Susie Collins - Susie and Otto - relationship issues discussed - www.menstuff.org/columns/susie&otto/archive.html David Copeland - How to Succeed with Women - www.menstuff.org/columns/howtosucceed/archive.html Forrest Craver - Spirituality & Social Change - www.menstuff.org/columns/craver/archive.html Layne & Paul Cutright - Powerful Partnerships - relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/cutright/archive.html Ron DesMarais - Cavemen in the Kitchen - great recipes for men - www.menstuff.org/columns/desmarais/archive.html Jed Diamond - Irritable Male Syndrome - www.menstuff.org/columns/diamond/archive.html Doc Love - Women Don't Lie, Man Don't Listen - answers to relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/doclov/archive.html Barry Durdant-Hollamby - Creating Change - creating change in your life - www.menstuff.org/columns/durdant/archive.html Irv Engel - The Real Deal - www.menstuff.org/columns/engel/archive.html Nancy Fagan - Expert Dating Advice - with Nancy Fagan - www.menstuf.org/columns/fagan/archive.html Warren Farrell - Men's Issues: Facts and Perspectives www.menstuff.org/columns/farrell/archive.html Leonard Felder - Wake Up or Break Up - www.menstuff.org/columns/felder/archive.html Marty Friedman - Strong Men, Strong Marriage - www.menstuff.org/columns/friedman/archive.html Kim Garretson - Mansgland - using humor to encourage prostate exams - www.menstuff.org/columns/mansgland/archive.html Lion Goodman - How to get Women to Love You - www.menstuff.org/columns/goodman/archive.html Liz Halliday - In a Man's World - www.menstuff.org/columns/halliday/archive.html Rick Hanson - Your Wise Brain - www.menstuff.org/columns/hanson/archive.html Tim Hartnett - Daddyman Speaks - being a father www.menstuff.org/columns/daddyman/archive.html John Hershey - Blood, Phlegm & Bile: Parenting with Humor - He writes a syndicated biweekly humor column about parenting and family life. www.menstuff.org/columns/hershey/archive.html Gary Hoeber - Psychotherapy as Soul Work, www.menstuff.org/columns/hoeber/archive.html Patrick Houser - Fathers Make a World of Difference, www.menstuff.org/columns/houser/archive.html Paul Joannides - The Guide to Getting It On - on sex - www.menstuff.org/columns/getiton/archive.html Jack Kahn - NOMAS Boston - www.menstuff.org/columns/kahn/archive.html Patrick Kennedy - Seniors - www.menstuff.org/columns/kennedy/archive.html Joe Kort - Gaydar - to increase understanding between gay and het men - www.menstuff.org/columns/kort/archive.html David Kundtz - David Kundtz - presents seminars, workshops, retreats, and conference presentations in the areas of men's emotional health, stress management, and spirituality. www.menstuff.org/columns/kundtz/archive.html Bruce Linton - Dr. Dad - on fathering - www.menstuff.org/columns/drdad/archive.html Ron Louis - How to Succeed with Women - www.menstuff.org/columns/howtosucceed/archive.html Tom Matlack - Tom Matlack - Good Men Project - www.menstuff.org/columns/matlack/archive.html Wendy McElroy - Wendy McElroy on Feminism, www.menstuff.org/columns/mcelroy/archive.html Robert N. Minor - Minor Details - on GBT sexuality - www.menstuff.org/columns/minordetails/archive.html Robert L. Moore - Man & Mythology - www.menstuff.org/columns/moore/archive.html Dennis W. Neder - Being a Man - general questions about men's lives - www.menstuff.org/columns/neder/archive.html Marty Nemko - Worklife - general questions about men and work - www.menstuff.org/columns/nemko/archive.html Eli Newberger - Eli Newberger - general information on men's lives - www.menstuff.org/columns/newberger/archive.html Linda Nielsen - Embracing the Father - working with the father/daughter relationship. www.menstuff.org/columns/nielsen/archive.html Kathy Noll - Bullies and Youth Violence - working with schools, teachers and parents to end school violence - www.menstuff.org/columns/noll/archive.html Mark Phillips - Stay-at-Home-Dads - helping men maintain that which makes us men, instead of becoming hairy Mom-substitutes - www.menstuff.org/columns/phillips/archive.html Carey Roberts - Socialism & Feminism - is a social commentator on political correctness. www.menstuff.org/columns/roberts/archive.html Perry Rose - Dating, Relationship, Sex Glenn Sacks - His Side - on fathering - www.menstuff.org/columns/sacks/archive.html Trudy Schuett - Domestic Violence - serving the under-represented www.menstuff.org/columns/schuett/archive.html Carl J. Schutt - Circumcision - social commentator on circumcision - www.menstuff.org/columns/schutt/archive.html Hugo Schwyzer - A Pro-feminist's Response - www.menstuff.org/columns/schwyzer/archive.html Michael Shaffran - Men's Issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/shaffran/archive.html Judith Sherven - Judith & Jim - discussion and answers regarding relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/judith&jim/archive.html Judith Sherven - The New Intimacy - www.menstuff.org/columns/newintimacy/archive.html George Simons - Bellicose Veins - is a US specialist in intercultural and gender communication who hangs out in Mandelieu - la Napoule, France, as well as in Santa Cruz, CA. www.menstuff.org/columns/simons/archive.html Andy Smith - Hard Hat Brotherhood - www.menstuff.org/columns/hardhat/archive.html David B. Smith - Fighting Father Dave - www.menstuff.org/columns/smith/archive.html Jim Sniechowski - Judith & Jim - discussion and answers regarding relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/judith&jim/archive.html Jim Sniechowski - The New Intimacy - www.menstuff.org/columns/newintimacy/archive.html Reena Sommer - Custody - is an internationally recognized relationship and divorce consultant. www.menstuff.org/columns/sommer/archive.html R. Don Steele - Don Steele - relationship questions answered - www.menstuff.org/columns/steele/archive.html David Steinberg - Comes Naturally - on sexuality - www.menstuff.org/columns/steinberg/archive.html Mary Lou St Lucas - A Mother's Love - www.menstuf.org/columns/stlucas/archive.html Surprise - Surprise Author - From a new columnist every month - www.menstuff.org/columns/surprise/archive.html Steven Svoboda - Fatherhood, Activism and the Law www.menstuff.org/columns/svoboda/archive.html Michael Taylor - A New Conversation with Men - www.menstuff.org/columns/taylor/archive.html Bruce Van Horn - Yoga for Men - issues around the health benefits of yoga for men - www.menstuff.org/yoga/archive.html Michael Webb - Secrets of Blissful Relationships - on relationship - www.menstuff.org/columns/bliss/archive.html Stuart Wilde - Spirituality - www.menstuff.org/columns/wilde/archive.html Dr.Williams - Sex Health - on sexual health - Dr. Williams, www.menstuff.org/columns/sexhealth/archive.html KC Wilson - On Gender Politics is a social commentator and author. www.menstuff.org/columns/wilson/archive.html Plus Health Tips - on general health - www.menstuff.org/columns/healthtips/archive.html Independent Means - resources for raising financially fit kids - www.menstuff.org/columns/independentmeans/archive.html Numbers - www.menstuff.org/columns/numbers/archive.html Questions - www.menstuff.org/columns/q&a/archive.html Surprise - from a new columnist every month - www.menstuff.org/columns/surprise/archive.html Words Can Heal - helping children grow up healthy - www.menstuff.org/columns/wordscanheal/archive.html Wuzup?! - National or international events happening this month - www.menstuff.org/columns/whassup/archive.html AWARENESS EVENTS THIS MONTH June is Adopt-A-Shelter Cat; Cancer from the Sun; Children's Awareness; Entrepreneurs "Do It Yourself" Marketing; Fireworks Safety; *Gay & Lesbian Pride Coming Out Month - Time to celebrate all forms of love and family; International Men's; International People Skills; National Bless-a-Child; National Burglary Prevention; National Rivers; National Safety; National Scleroderma Awareness; Rebuild Your Life; Student Safety; Vision Research and National Headache Awareness Month. Jun 1-30 is International Men's Month - See List of Men's Issues & Book of the Day. Each day at "Today" on our home page, we will be presenting information on a different men's issue. The issue changes each day at midnight, so check in to learn more about "Men's Issues" and men's lives. We will also have a Book of the Day concerning that issue. This might be the perfect time to sign up for our free newsletter which will bring all of this to you each morning. Spread the word and let everyone in your address book know. May 14-Jun 18: National Family Month. Week of June 1-7: International Volunteers; Stepparents Week. June 2-9: National Homeownership Week. June 2-10: National Fishing Week. June 3-9: Black Single Parents, National Hug Holiday, *Small Business Week. June 7-14: Nurses Assistants Day and Week. June 10-16: *National Flag Week. June 11-17:  Meet a Mate, *National Little League Baseball; National Men's Health Week in the U.S. and Canada. June 13-20: National Hermit Week. June 17-23: National Forgiveness; Universal Father's Week. June 17-24: Amateur Radio Week. June 18-22:  Take Your Pet to Work Week. June 24-30: Carpenter Any Awareness; Helen Keller Deaf-Blindness Awareness Week. June 27 - July 4: Special Recreation Week. June 1: National New Year's Resolution Recommitment; Stand for Children Day that encourages individuals to improve children's lives. www.stand.org. June 1-2 Donut; Partner's Day - Day to give thanks to your spouse/partner for precious love shared. June 2: Mindfulness; National Trails Day; June 3: Children's Awareness, June 4: United Nationals International Day of Innocent Children Victims of Aggression. June 5: Alternative Officing, National Family, United Nations World Environment Day - Day to mourn the harm done to the earth (past and present), make reparation and celebrate its beauty. June 9: Take a Kid Fishing Weekend. June 10: Abused Women and Children's Awareness Day; Alcoholics Anonymous founded. Children's Sunday. June 11:  Race Unity Day. June 14: *Flag Day,  Family History; Sustainable Development Day - Day the world's nations committed to sustainable development (1992). June 15: Magna Carta Day. June 16: *Father's Day, Family Awareness, United Nations World Day to Combat Desertification and Drought, Join Hands Day. June 19: National Splurge; Still Need to Do; World Sauntering Day. June 20:  World Juggling; Toad Hollow Day of Thank You. June 21:  Baby Boomers Recognition Day. June 23: Let It Go Day. June 24: Celebration of the Senses; America's Kids Day. June 26: UN International Day in Support of Victims of Torture; United Nations International Day Against Drug Abuse and Illicit Trafficking; National Columnist's Day. June 27: National HIV Testing; Special Recreation for Disabled, Decide to Be Married Day. June 28: Stonewall Riots - (1969), day to mourn victims of homophobia (past and present), make peace, and celebrate lesbian and gay empowerment. June 29: Peter & Paul Day. June 30: Descendants Day.  *    *    * Men are so competitive that we even "out-die" women in all 15 of the major causes of death in the U.S. Most of these deaths are preventable with a positive change in life-style, eating habits, and/or general health care. Let's not strive so hard to hold on to this record. See what you can change now to live a healthier life. Contact Us | Disclaimer | Privacy Statement Menstuff® Directory Menstuff® is a registered trademark of Gordon Clay ©1996-2023, Gordon Clay