Daily Thoughts & Issues

IN THIS ISSUE:

JULY 8

Days left until the next millennium 01.01.3001

Photo of the Week
Brad Lewis/Tony Stone Images
Achieve Your Dreams

July 8 - Feast of Father Sky thru July 10 African, Greek, Roman, Slavic, Native American, Hawaiian, Hindu and Old Canaanite-Hebrew The Mystic's Wheel of the Year * Isra Al Mi'raj: Ascent of the Prophet Muhammad. Islamic calendar the 27th day of the Muslim month of Rajab (Rajab 27, 1421) commemorates the journey of the Prophet Muhammad from Mecca to Jerusalem, his ascension into the Seven Heavens and his return on the same night. Muslims believe that on that night Muhammad prayed together with Abraham, Moses and Jesus in the area of the Al-Aqsa Mosque in Jerusalem. The rock from which he is believed to have ascended to heaven to speak with God is the one inside The Dome of the Rock. Different methods for "anticipating" the visibility of the new moon crescent at Mecca are used by different Muslim groups. US date may vary. * Lt. Col. Oliver North and the Iran-Contras hearings (1987) pull more TV viewers than daytime soap operas or game shows. * Declaration of Independence First Public Reading (1776) * Birthdays: Billy Eckstine, Nelson Aldrich Rockefeller, Roone Arledge, Raffi Cavoukian, Steve Lawrence (Sindey Liebowitz), Kevin Bacon, Billy Crudup, Jeffrey Tambor.

DAILY THOUGHTS

Is your girl a "daddy's girl"?  If so, she's learning management techniques that will help her land a leadership position later on. Dr. Buff's 365 Day Parenting Calendar

If we want to be heard we must speak in a language the listener can understand and on a level at which the listener is capable of operating. If we are to love we must extend ourselves to adjust our communication to the capacities of our beloved. The Road Less Traveled

Fish-Bait Tips:  Keep your earthworms in an earthenware pot, never a tin can. Add a little salt to minnow water to refresh them. Try small frogs or live grasshoppers for catching bass. Keep shrimp bait in grass or moss or seaweed. A drop of anise oil sweetens bait to attract fish. The Old Farmer's Almanac

My body doesn't have to have an orgasm to feel a sense of release - Christina, 31. Hot breath anywhere on my body is a big turn-on - Paul, 29 Best of 1001 Sex Secrets Every Man & Woman Should Know

In The Journals of John Cheever, the novelist dissects the symptoms of male menopause with devastating accuracy: "It usually begins with sharp discontents about their business life...but their position at this time of life, their security, is too precarious to allow them to express any grievance...Sexually their wives have come to seem unattractive...Their friends bore them. Their children seem, oftener than not, ungrateful."   New Passages

Things to Be Happy About: Sea birds riding the wind. An eventful afternoon. Cold asparagus soup. 14,000 Things to Be Happy About

Go to the bathroom before you get into the car. Really Important Stuff My Kids Have Taught Me

If you have a problem that neither you, your friend's, nor your support group can solve, don't waste another moment. Seek professional help. Therapy is one of the many tools we have available today to speed us on our way to understanding ourselves.  Simplify Your Life

2 Years - "Mine!"  Very few 2-year-olds are capable of sharing freely without adults directing the show. The concept of give-and-take is just too complicated for children this age. Because twos believe that all property is an extension of themselves, they see nothing wrong with grabbing dolls, buckets, tricycles, or anything that catches their fancy. Remember - as in this case with so many other aspects of your life as a parent - your toddler will follow your lead. If you share freely and happily with your child as well as your friends, and if you respond calmly to toddler property disputes while coming up with solutions that favor a sharing attitude, your child will, in time, come to imitate your example. Parents Tips & Tricks

Find a special place for yourself outdoors where you can walk or play or just sit and enjoy the calming presence of nature. Stress Busters

Set your kids up to paint tiny "tattoos" on other kids' arms or cheeks. Buy face paints at a drugstore or craft store and experiment with designs. Make a booklet of things you can draw, and let kids choose. Charge 25 cents for each one. Check with your customers' parents before painting.  To Do Today

The giants of the race have been men of concentration who have struck sledgehammer blows in one place until they have accomplished their purpose. The successful men of today are men of one overmastering idea, one unwavering aim, men of single and intense purpose. - Orsen Swett Marden.  Win the Day!

Aturdir (ahtoorDEER) To daze. Quedo aturdida pero no se hizo dano. She was dazed but otherwise unhurt. Living Language

TODAY'S ISSUE: CRITICISM

It is much easier to be critical than to be correct. - Benjamin Disraeli. Criticism is easy for those who are disappointed with the quality of their own performance. Expecting more and more from themselves, they expect more and more from those around them, finding fault with the system, the workplace, the children, the boss. Through the smoke screen of criticism, we set ourselves apart, but we may also be removing ourselves from the front lines of life. Today is a day I will be mindful of my criticism of others. I will trace its origins. Meditations For Men Who Do Too Much

Criticism, like rain, should be gentle enough to nourish a man's growth without destroying his roots - Frank A Clark. Not all violence draws blood; some kinds of criticism can warp personalities but leave no visible marks. Harsh words, bullying, and ridicule are violent tactics that are totally inappropriate between family members, especially parents and children. Sticks and stones may break our bones, but words can break our spirits. They may be insubstantial as breath, but cruel words can cause lifelong pain. When we reflect on our motives for criticizing harshly and abusively, we find they always have to do with us, not the person on the receiving end: "I was feeling lousy"; "I was trying to concentrate"; "My father always made fun on me."  Verbal violence is a form of aggression and we do it most often when we feel most vulnerable. All endeavors need encouragement, including constructive criticism. One key to positive criticism is paying attention to others. Even if we have no good words to say, our rapt attention is a gift, precious to our families. Helpful criticism always includes praise for what was done well and recognition of the doer. Words are deeply important. Hard words hurt, and soft words can heal and protect. I'll be careful not to pass on verbal violence, but to transform it into constructive criticism. Family Feelings

Another perspective. I believe that people can be very harsh with words and that we should contain our words to constructive criticism, which about the act not the person. However, as a receiver, I don't believe there is such a thing as abusive or violent criticism. The only way I believe it can happen to me is if I accept your words as my reality. And, to do that, I would have to accept that you know more about me and what I'm thinking and feeling than I do. So, when your words come my direction, I hear them, see what grain of truth they might hold for me, and let the rest roll off like water off a ducks back. Sticks and stones can hurt my bones, but words - never. Gordon Clay

SPECIAL URLs

 

MENSTUFF COLUMNS BY AUTHOR

  • The Advice Diva - The Advice Diva - relationship and sexuality issues discussed - www.menstuff.org/columns/advicediva/archive.html
  • Peter Alsop - Song of the Month - www.menstuff.org/columns/alsop/archive.html
  • Reid Baer - A Man Overboard - Interview of the Month - www.menstuff.org/columns/overboard/archive.html
  • Reid Baer - Poetry - poetry read on YouTube - www.menstuff.org/columns/baer/archive.html
  • Molly Barrow - Shrink About This - www.menstuff.org/columns/barrow/archive.html
  • Peter Baylies - At Home Dads - on at-home-dad issues that impact fathers who stay at home to raise their kids - www.menstuff.org/columns/baylies/archive.html
  • Tom Blake - Middle-Age Relationships - from an expert on dating after 50. www.menstuff.org/columns/blake/archive.html
  • Mark Brandenburg - Great Fathers - on fathering issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/greatfathers/archive.html
  • Ted Braude - BoysWork - a columnist in the The Detroit Free Press "Body and Mind" section www.menstuff.org/columns/braude/archive.html
  • Armin Brott - A Father's Guide - hosts "Positive Parenting" on radio www.menstuff.org/columns/brott/archive.html
  • Dan Bulf - Get Real - weekly pod cast on men's issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/bulf/archive.html
  • Ken Byers - Transition - on men's life transitions - www.menstuff.org/columns/byers/archive.html
  • Sandra L. Caron - Sex Talk - college students get answers to their questions - www.menstuff.org/columns/sextalk/archive.html
  • Neil Chethik - Relationships - www.menstuff.org/columns/chethik/archive.html
  • Otto & Susie Collins - Susie and Otto - relationship issues discussed - www.menstuff.org/columns/susie&otto/archive.html
  • David Copeland - How to Succeed with Women - www.menstuff.org/columns/howtosucceed/archive.html
  • Forrest Craver - Spirituality & Social Change - www.menstuff.org/columns/craver/archive.html
  • Layne & Paul Cutright - Powerful Partnerships - relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/cutright/archive.html
  • Ron DesMarais - Cavemen in the Kitchen - great recipes for men - www.menstuff.org/columns/desmarais/archive.html
  • Jed Diamond - Irritable Male Syndrome - www.menstuff.org/columns/diamond/archive.html
  • Doc Love - Women Don't Lie, Man Don't Listen - answers to relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/doclov/archive.html
  • Barry Durdant-Hollamby - Creating Change - creating change in your life - www.menstuff.org/columns/durdant/archive.html
  • Irv Engel - The Real Deal - www.menstuff.org/columns/engel/archive.html
  • Nancy Fagan - Expert Dating Advice - with Nancy Fagan - www.menstuf.org/columns/fagan/archive.html
  • Warren Farrell - Men's Issues: Facts and Perspectives www.menstuff.org/columns/farrell/archive.html
  • Leonard Felder - Wake Up or Break Up - www.menstuff.org/columns/felder/archive.html
  • Marty Friedman - Strong Men, Strong Marriage - www.menstuff.org/columns/friedman/archive.html
  • Kim Garretson - Mansgland - using humor to encourage prostate exams - www.menstuff.org/columns/mansgland/archive.html
  • Lion Goodman - How to get Women to Love You - www.menstuff.org/columns/goodman/archive.html
  • Liz Halliday - In a Man's World - www.menstuff.org/columns/halliday/archive.html
  • Rick Hanson - Your Wise Brain - www.menstuff.org/columns/hanson/archive.html
  • Tim Hartnett - Daddyman Speaks - being a father www.menstuff.org/columns/daddyman/archive.html
  • John Hershey - Blood, Phlegm & Bile: Parenting with Humor - He writes a syndicated biweekly humor column about parenting and family life. www.menstuff.org/columns/hershey/archive.html
  • Gary Hoeber - Psychotherapy as Soul Work, www.menstuff.org/columns/hoeber/archive.html
  • Patrick Houser - Fathers Make a World of Difference, www.menstuff.org/columns/houser/archive.html
  • Paul Joannides - The Guide to Getting It On - on sex - www.menstuff.org/columns/getiton/archive.html
  • Jack Kahn - NOMAS Boston - www.menstuff.org/columns/kahn/archive.html
  • Patrick Kennedy - Seniors - www.menstuff.org/columns/kennedy/archive.html
  • Joe Kort - Gaydar - to increase understanding between gay and het men - www.menstuff.org/columns/kort/archive.html
  • David Kundtz - David Kundtz - presents seminars, workshops, retreats, and conference presentations in the areas of men's emotional health, stress management, and spirituality. www.menstuff.org/columns/kundtz/archive.html
  • Bruce Linton - Dr. Dad - on fathering - www.menstuff.org/columns/drdad/archive.html
  • Ron Louis - How to Succeed with Women - www.menstuff.org/columns/howtosucceed/archive.html
  • Tom Matlack - Tom Matlack - Good Men Project - www.menstuff.org/columns/matlack/archive.html
  • Wendy McElroy - Wendy McElroy on Feminism, www.menstuff.org/columns/mcelroy/archive.html
  • Robert N. Minor - Minor Details - on GBT sexuality - www.menstuff.org/columns/minordetails/archive.html
  • Robert L. Moore - Man & Mythology - www.menstuff.org/columns/moore/archive.html
  • Dennis W. Neder - Being a Man - general questions about men's lives - www.menstuff.org/columns/neder/archive.html
  • Marty Nemko - Worklife - general questions about men and work - www.menstuff.org/columns/nemko/archive.html
  • Eli Newberger - Eli Newberger - general information on men's lives - www.menstuff.org/columns/newberger/archive.html
  • Linda Nielsen - Embracing the Father - working with the father/daughter relationship. www.menstuff.org/columns/nielsen/archive.html
  • Kathy Noll - Bullies and Youth Violence - working with schools, teachers and parents to end school violence - www.menstuff.org/columns/noll/archive.html
  • Mark Phillips - Stay-at-Home-Dads - helping men maintain that which makes us men, instead of becoming hairy Mom-substitutes - www.menstuff.org/columns/phillips/archive.html
  • Carey Roberts - Socialism & Feminism - is a social commentator on political correctness. www.menstuff.org/columns/roberts/archive.html
  • Perry Rose - Dating, Relationship, Sex
  • Glenn Sacks - His Side - on fathering - www.menstuff.org/columns/sacks/archive.html
  • Trudy Schuett - Domestic Violence - serving the under-represented www.menstuff.org/columns/schuett/archive.html
  • Carl J. Schutt - Circumcision - social commentator on circumcision - www.menstuff.org/columns/schutt/archive.html
  • Hugo Schwyzer - A Pro-feminist's Response - www.menstuff.org/columns/schwyzer/archive.html
  • Michael Shaffran - Men's Issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/shaffran/archive.html
  • Judith Sherven - Judith & Jim - discussion and answers regarding relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/judith&jim/archive.html
  • Judith Sherven - The New Intimacy - www.menstuff.org/columns/newintimacy/archive.html
  • George Simons - Bellicose Veins - is a US specialist in intercultural and gender communication who hangs out in Mandelieu - la Napoule, France, as well as in Santa Cruz, CA. www.menstuff.org/columns/simons/archive.html
  • Andy Smith - Hard Hat Brotherhood - www.menstuff.org/columns/hardhat/archive.html
  • David B. Smith - Fighting Father Dave - www.menstuff.org/columns/smith/archive.html
  • Jim Sniechowski - Judith & Jim - discussion and answers regarding relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/judith&jim/archive.html
  • Jim Sniechowski - The New Intimacy - www.menstuff.org/columns/newintimacy/archive.html
  • Reena Sommer - Custody - is an internationally recognized relationship and divorce consultant. www.menstuff.org/columns/sommer/archive.html
  • R. Don Steele - Don Steele - relationship questions answered -
    www.menstuff.org/columns/steele/archive.html
  • David Steinberg - Comes Naturally - on sexuality - www.menstuff.org/columns/steinberg/archive.html
  • Mary Lou St Lucas - A Mother's Love - www.menstuf.org/columns/stlucas/archive.html
  • Surprise - Surprise Author - From a new columnist every month - www.menstuff.org/columns/surprise/archive.html
  • Steven Svoboda - Fatherhood, Activism and the Law www.menstuff.org/columns/svoboda/archive.html
  • Michael Taylor - A New Conversation with Men - www.menstuff.org/columns/taylor/archive.html
  • Bruce Van Horn - Yoga for Men - issues around the health benefits of yoga for men - www.menstuff.org/yoga/archive.html
  • Michael Webb - Secrets of Blissful Relationships - on relationship - www.menstuff.org/columns/bliss/archive.html
  • Stuart Wilde - Spirituality - www.menstuff.org/columns/wilde/archive.html
  • Dr.Williams - Sex Health - on sexual health - Dr. Williams, www.menstuff.org/columns/sexhealth/archive.html
  • KC Wilson - On Gender Politics is a social commentator and author. www.menstuff.org/columns/wilson/archive.html

Plus

  • Health Tips - on general health - www.menstuff.org/columns/healthtips/archive.html
  • Independent Means - resources for raising financially fit kids - www.menstuff.org/columns/independentmeans/archive.html
  • Numbers - www.menstuff.org/columns/numbers/archive.html
  • Questions - www.menstuff.org/columns/q&a/archive.html
  • Surprise - from a new columnist every month - www.menstuff.org/columns/surprise/archive.html
  • Words Can Heal - helping children grow up healthy - www.menstuff.org/columns/wordscanheal/archive.html
  • Wuzup?! - National or international events happening this month - www.menstuff.org/columns/whassup/archive.html

AWARENESS EVENTS THIS MONTH

July is Freedom Month. If you enjoy the benefits this country has to offer, you might check out what kind of men it took to found this country. The Fourth of July has more to it than beer, picnics, and baseball games. Read this! July is Anti-Boredom; National Mobility; Purposeful Parenting: Recreation and Parks; The month of the Muslim new year; Hemochromatosis Screening Awareness; National Foreign Language Month.

June 27 - July 4: Special Recreation Week. June 25-July 1: Deaf-Blindness Awareness Week. June 27 - July 4: Special Recreation Week. Jul 1-8 Music for Life; July 3-Aug 15: Air Conditioning Appreciation Days. Jul 4-10 - Freedom Week. July 8:-14: National Laundry Workers; National Therapeutic Recreation: Take Charge of Change Week. Jul 9-15 - Nude Recreation. July 15-21: *Captive Nations; Legal Revolution; National Plan to Promote Your Business Week. Jul 1 UN Day of Cooperation; International Joke; National Financial Freedom; National Recreation and Parks; National Purposeful Parenting, Jul 2 - I Forgot; Ducktona 500 Day; July 3: Compliment Your Mirror: Stay Out of the Sun Day. Jul 4 - Independence Day (U.S.); American Redneck; Fear from Fear of Speaking ; Independence-from-Meat Day; Sidewalk Egg Frying; Jul 5 - National Family Day, July 7: Father-Daughter Take a Walk Together; International UN Day of Cooperation. July 9: Don't Step on a Bee Day. July 10: Intern Appreciation Day. July 13: Skeptics' Day. July 14: Cow Apprecaition Day. July 15: National Ice Cream; Saint Swithin's Day. July 16: International Town Criers; Naitonal Get Out of the Doghouse Day. July 17: Wrong Way Corrigan Day. Jul 20 - Ugly Truck; Riot Act anniversary. July 21: Rat-Catchers Day. Jul 22 - Ice Cream Cone Day. July 23: Hot Enough For Ya Day. July 24: Cousins; Health and Happiness with Hypnosis Day. Jul 27 - *National Korean War Veterans Armistice; Take Your Houseplants for a Walk Day. July 29: *Parents' Day. Jul 30 - Father-In-Law Day, National Parent's Day.

* Means a Presidential Proclamation has been made.

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Men are so competitive that we even "out-die" women in all 15 of the major causes of death in the U.S. Most of these deaths are preventable with a positive change in life-style, eating habits, and/or general health care. Let's not strive so hard to hold on to this record. See what you can change now to live a healthier life.
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