Daily Thoughts & Issues

IN THIS ISSUE:

FEBRUARY 16

Days left until the next millennium 01.01.3001
 

Photo of the Week
Gordon Wiltsie/Adventure Photo & Film
Achieve Your Dreams

February 16 - Independence Day in Lithuania. * On this day in 1948, NBC-TV presents 20th Century Fox-Movietone News, the first daily newsreel telecast. * Birthdays: Ice-T (Tracy Morrow), John Schlesinger, Robert Joseph Flaherty, Wayne King, Jerome Bettis, LeVar Burton, James Ingram, William Katt, George Frost Kennan, John Patrick McEnroe, Jr., Barry Primus, Frederick Douglas, nonviolent advocate for the rights of African Americans. The Mystic's Wheel of the Year.

Drink extra water after a workout!

DAILY THOUGHTS

Having Room for the Pain. Back when I was using, I would do anything not to feel pain. I would drink. Drug. Have sex. Sleep. Watch TV. East. Listen to music. Smoke. Go for an overnight trip. Go drink, drug, have sex, sleep, watch TV, eat, listen to music, smoke somewhere else. Then I'd turn around and come back home and do it all over again. This pattern worked. I rarely felt pain. What else I rarely felt was joy. I never felt happy. I never felt serene. I was so obsessed with not feeling pain that I never felt calm. I was hyper from tranking myself out. I was like a Zombie who keeps getting jolted by electric shocks to prove that he's alive. And another name for Zombie is Walking Dead. Take out the booze and the drugs, but add a whole mess of cigarettes, junk food, and coffee, and you've got the way I tranked myself our during my first years on the program. And that's okay, I see now, because, as we say, God never gives us more than we can handle. If, when I was new to the program, I had felt the pain I have recently come to feel, I would have been a serious candidate for relapse. I couldn't have handled the pain when I was first starting out. Like a toddler, I had to depend on my program friends for support, and on my baby fat of using substitutes for cushions when I walked, and stumbled, alone. I had no room for much pain in my first program years, but now I am willing to let it in a little at a time. I am willing to admit how that I do not have what I would like to have. I am willing to admit that I've been wrong. That's how change begins. With the willingness to accept the seed of need. Nowadays I need company, I need solace, I need cheer. (I cannot make myself feel good any more.) I need recognition, I need approval, I need strokes. (I cannot reward myself any more.) I need the Fellowship to help me lead a reasonable life. I thank the Fellowship for being there for me. I thank the Fellowship for showing me how. I thank the Fellowship for helping me have room for the pain, and for providing me with solace and support when I start to feel overwhelmed. Stepping Stones to Recovery for Men

Hatred is never anything but fear - if you feared no one, you would hate no one. - Hugh Downs. On those occasions when we find the bigger man within, we are more generous in spirit toward others. But sometimes we think too much about what is wrong with others and how they ought to change. That is a form of hate. If we are searching for what we have power to change in our families, in our friendships, in the world, we could learn to be big enough to set aside our fears. Do we bear ill will toward someone today? When we are honest with ourselves, do we feel a sense of fear in relation to this person? What are we really afraid of? Perhaps the same person fears us. When we can do something about our fear, the hatred melts with no further effort. Then we are in touch with the bigger man within. I have the inner strength to face my fears today. I will not send them outward as hatred. Touchstones: A Book of Daily Meditations for Men

Men are...conciliatory, painstaking, thrilling, virile. Men are: A Book of Inspiration

I love it when he stops in the middle of doing it and just holds me. Karen, 28 The Best of 1001 Sex Secrets Every Man & Woman Should Know

Ronald H. Brown became chairman of the Democratic National Committee. He is the first African American chairman in either the Democratic or the Republican Party - 1989. African American History

Find a Favorite Tune. Humming a favorite tune or softly singing the words to a soothing lullaby can oftentimes be a signal to your child that bedtime is near. By establishing a routine of singing to your child each night before bedtime, you can help ease them into the process of winding down for sleep. Parents Tips & Tricks

Develop your own manner of living life on the edge, on your own terms. Achieve Your Dreams

Things to Be Happy About:  Researching a product through the Internet. Economic growth. Setting reasonable lifetime goals. 14,000 Things to Be Happy About

Acceptance is the act of embracing what life presents to you with a good attitude. Our bodies are among the most willing and wise teachers of this lesson. Unless you spend a large percentage of your time engaged in out-of-body experiences, your body shows up wherever you are. It can be like an ever-present benevolent guide or a lifelong cross you bear. The decision is yours, based on how well you learn this lesson. If Life is a Game, These are the Rules

Paradigms are powerful because they create the lens through which we see the world. The power of a paradigm shift is the essential power of quantum change, whether that shift is instantaneous or a slow and deliberate process. Seven Habits of Highly Effective People

Chinese legend claims that when Emperor Ai, of the Han dynasty, wanted to get out of bed one morning, in order to avoid waking his lover Dong Xian, the Emperor tore the sleeve off his robe because Xian was lying on it. As a result, Chinese literature often refers to gay men as dong xian or "cut sleeve." Gay & Lesbian Calendar

When you find yourself embroiled in any kind of less-than-joyous emotion, such as anger, frustration, impatience, worry, or negative thinking, take a moment and simply ask yourself, "What's happening here?"  Figure out what is taking you away from your center. Often, simply identifying what's happening will be enough to relieve your stress. Simplify Your Life

Avoid the mental exercise of jumping to conclusions. Check things out carefully to avoid unnecessary worry and stress. Stress Busters

Get a wind sock for your child's room. Wind socks aren't just for outdoors. Hang one from the ceiling and it's the first thing they look at when they walk into their room.  To Do Today

Whenever I make a bum decision, I go out and make another one. - Harry S. Truman. Win the Day!

Devote yourself to service, and success will come. Life's Little Instruction Calendar

New Days. To listen, heart and soul, is to love. To listen to each new day is to open to the divine. No day has ever been the same, ever, throughout the history of the universe. Stand in awe. Wonder at the beauty and the majesty that each day brings. No matter what happened yesterday between you and your beloved, today is a new day. It is not a time to hold a grudge or expect the miracle of yesterday's passion to duplicate itself. It is a time unto itself. What will you listen for? What will you open to>? If you quiet the rumblings in your mind, you can hear your soul calling to you, beckoning you to open to a new love, to open in a way that was unknown only yesterday - but today it is a miracle. Each day has its own rhythm, its own energy, its own message. Each day reaches down into your soul and asks that you die to yesterday, to be reborn in new love. "Each day comes with its own song, a song that no one has ever seen or heard before." David Rothenberg Opening to Love 365 Days a Year

El Doctor (dohkTOHR) Doctor. Necesito un doctor. I need a doctor. Living Language

TODAY'S ISSUE: WISDOM

Wisdom is knowing when you can't be wise. - Paul Engle

Change. Move. Alter. Perfect. Rearrange. Keep moving. So many of us put a lid on our wisdom by rarely, if ever, taking the time to reflect on our strengths. It takes a new method of thought and of inner patience to begin to be straight with ourselves about what we can and cannot do. When is it better for me not to be involved, not to make a decision, not to take a stand? I cannot always come up with an answer. Often I cannot deliver a question. Often I will be better off if I do neither.

Today, I will be mindful of my limitations, and take comfort in the fact that I do not know everything, never will, and will not have to take responsibility for knowledge I do not have. Meditations For Men Who Do Too Much

Hey Man: Did you make a difference yesterday? Let us know at Contact Us. Tell people when your feelings are hurt. Start within the family first. What Every Man Needs to Know Want to make a difference but you don't know where to start?

 

BOOK OF THE WEEK

Jeff Kinney's latest Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days, 2009 . Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The last straw 2009 Also see Diary of a Wimpy Kid:, 2007 ; Roderick Rules 2008 ; and Do it Yourself Book 2008 . A very fun series and good lessons for fathers of kids, especially boys, who aren't into macho endeavors. Good for all kids to get a sense of some of the trials and tribulations of a not-so-macho boy and ways to handle it. It's fun.

SPECIAL URLs

 

MENSTUFF COLUMNS BY AUTHOR

  • The Advice Diva - The Advice Diva - relationship and sexuality issues discussed - www.menstuff.org/columns/advicediva/archive.html
  • Peter Alsop - Song of the Month - www.menstuff.org/columns/alsop/archive.html
  • Reid Baer - A Man Overboard - Interview of the Month - www.menstuff.org/columns/overboard/archive.html
  • Reid Baer - Poetry - poetry read on YouTube - www.menstuff.org/columns/baer/archive.html
  • Molly Barrow - Shrink About This - www.menstuff.org/columns/barrow/archive.html
  • Peter Baylies - At Home Dads - on at-home-dad issues that impact fathers who stay at home to raise their kids - www.menstuff.org/columns/baylies/archive.html
  • Tom Blake - Middle-Age Relationships - from an expert on dating after 50. www.menstuff.org/columns/blake/archive.html
  • Mark Brandenburg - Great Fathers - on fathering issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/greatfathers/archive.html
  • Ted Braude - BoysWork - a columnist in the The Detroit Free Press "Body and Mind" section www.menstuff.org/columns/braude/archive.html
  • Armin Brott - A Father's Guide - hosts "Positive Parenting" on radio www.menstuff.org/columns/brott/archive.html
  • Dan Bulf - Get Real - weekly pod cast on men's issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/bulf/archive.html
  • Ken Byers - Transition - on men's life transitions - www.menstuff.org/columns/byers/archive.html
  • Sandra L. Caron - Sex Talk - college students get answers to their questions - www.menstuff.org/columns/sextalk/archive.html
  • Neil Chethik - Relationships - www.menstuff.org/columns/chethik/archive.html
  • Otto & Susie Collins - Susie and Otto - relationship issues discussed - www.menstuff.org/columns/susie&otto/archive.html
  • David Copeland - How to Succeed with Women - www.menstuff.org/columns/howtosucceed/archive.html
  • Forrest Craver - Spirituality & Social Change - www.menstuff.org/columns/craver/archive.html
  • Layne & Paul Cutright - Powerful Partnerships - relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/cutright/archive.html
  • Ron DesMarais - Cavemen in the Kitchen - great recipes for men - www.menstuff.org/columns/desmarais/archive.html
  • Jed Diamond - Irritable Male Syndrome - www.menstuff.org/columns/diamond/archive.html
  • Doc Love - Women Don't Lie, Man Don't Listen - answers to relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/doclov/archive.html
  • Barry Durdant-Hollamby - Creating Change - creating change in your life - www.menstuff.org/columns/durdant/archive.html
  • Irv Engel - The Real Deal - www.menstuff.org/columns/engel/archive.html
  • Nancy Fagan - Expert Dating Advice - with Nancy Fagan - www.menstuf.org/columns/fagan/archive.html
  • Warren Farrell - Men's Issues: Facts and Perspectives www.menstuff.org/columns/farrell/archive.html
  • Leonard Felder - Wake Up or Break Up - www.menstuff.org/columns/felder/archive.html
  • Marty Friedman - Strong Men, Strong Marriage - www.menstuff.org/columns/friedman/archive.html
  • Kim Garretson - Mansgland - using humor to encourage prostate exams - www.menstuff.org/columns/mansgland/archive.html
  • Lion Goodman - How to get Women to Love You - www.menstuff.org/columns/goodman/archive.html
  • Liz Halliday - In a Man's World - www.menstuff.org/columns/halliday/archive.html
  • Rick Hanson - Just One Thing - www.menstuff.org/columns/hanson/archive.html
  • Tim Hartnett - Daddyman Speaks - being a father www.menstuff.org/columns/daddyman/archive.html
  • John Hershey - Blood, Phlegm & Bile: Parenting with Humor - He writes a syndicated biweekly humor column about parenting and family life. www.menstuff.org/columns/hershey/archive.html
  • Gary Hoeber - Psychotherapy as Soul Work, www.menstuff.org/columns/hoeber/archive.html
  • Patrick Houser - Fathers Make a World of Difference, www.menstuff.org/columns/houser/archive.html
  • Paul Joannides - The Guide to Getting It On - on sex - www.menstuff.org/columns/getiton/archive.html
  • Jack Kahn - NOMAS Boston - www.menstuff.org/columns/kahn/archive.html
  • Patrick Kennedy - Seniors - www.menstuff.org/columns/kennedy/archive.html
  • Joe Kort - Gaydar - to increase understanding between gay and het men - www.menstuff.org/columns/kort/archive.html
  • David Kundtz - David Kundtz - presents seminars, workshops, retreats, and conference presentations in the areas of men's emotional health, stress management, and spirituality. www.menstuff.org/columns/kundtz/archive.html
  • Bruce Linton - Dr. Dad - on fathering - www.menstuff.org/columns/drdad/archive.html
  • Ron Louis - How to Succeed with Women - www.menstuff.org/columns/howtosucceed/archive.html
  • Wendy McElroy - Wendy McElroy on Feminism, www.menstuff.org/columns/mcelroy/archive.html
  • Robert N. Minor - Minor Details - on GBT sexuality - www.menstuff.org/columns/minordetails/archive.html
  • Robert L. Moore - Man & Mythology - www.menstuff.org/columns/moore/archive.html
  • Dennis W. Neder - Being a Man - general questions about men's lives - www.menstuff.org/columns/neder/archive.html
  • Marty Nemko - Worklife - general questions about men and work - www.menstuff.org/columns/nemko/archive.html
  • Eli Newberger - Eli Newberger - general information on men's lives - www.menstuff.org/columns/newberger/archive.html
  • Linda Nielsen - Embracing the Father - working with the father/daughter relationship. www.menstuff.org/columns/nielsen/archive.html
  • Kathy Noll - Bullies and Youth Violence - working with schools, teachers and parents to end school violence - www.menstuff.org/columns/noll/archive.html
  • Mark Phillips - Stay-at-Home-Dads - helping men maintain that which makes us men, instead of becoming hairy Mom-substitutes - www.menstuff.org/columns/phillips/archive.html
  • Carey Roberts - Socialism & Feminism - is a social commentator on political correctness. www.menstuff.org/columns/roberts/archive.html
  • Perry Rose - Dating, Relationship, Sex
  • Glenn Sacks - His Side - on fathering - www.menstuff.org/columns/sacks/archive.html
  • Trudy Schuett - Domestic Violence - serving the under-represented www.menstuff.org/columns/schuett/archive.html
  • Carl J. Schutt - Circumcision - social commentator on circumcision - www.menstuff.org/columns/schutt/archive.html
  • Hugo Schwyzer - A Pro-feminist's Response - www.menstuff.org/columns/schwyzer/archive.html
  • Michael Shaffran - Men's Issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/shaffran/archive.html
  • Judith Sherven - Judith & Jim - discussion and answers regarding relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/judith&jim/archive.html
  • Judith Sherven - The New Intimacy - www.menstuff.org/columns/newintimacy/archive.html
  • George Simons - Bellicose Veins - is a US specialist in intercultural and gender communication who hangs out in Mandelieu - la Napoule, France, as well as in Santa Cruz, CA. www.menstuff.org/columns/simons/archive.html
  • Andy Smith - Hard Hat Brotherhood - www.menstuff.org/columns/hardhat/archive.html
  • David B. Smith - Fighting Father Dave - www.menstuff.org/columns/smith/archive.html
  • Jim Sniechowski - Judith & Jim - discussion and answers regarding relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/judith&jim/archive.html
  • Jim Sniechowski - The New Intimacy - www.menstuff.org/columns/newintimacy/archive.html
  • Reena Sommer - Custody - is an internationally recognized relationship and divorce consultant. www.menstuff.org/columns/sommer/archive.html
  • R. Don Steele - Don Steele - relationship questions answered -
    www.menstuff.org/columns/steele/archive.html
  • David Steinberg - Comes Naturally - on sexuality - www.menstuff.org/columns/steinberg/archive.html
  • Mary Lou St Lucas - A Mother's Love - www.menstuf.org/columns/stlucas/archive.html
  • Surprise - Surprise Author - From a new columnist every month - www.menstuff.org/columns/surprise/archive.html
  • Steven Svoboda - Fatherhood, Activism and the Law www.menstuff.org/columns/svoboda/archive.html
  • Michael Taylor - A New Conversation with Men - www.menstuff.org/columns/taylor/archive.html
  • Bruce Van Horn - Yoga for Men - issues around the health benefits of yoga for men - www.menstuff.org/yoga/archive.html
  • Michael Webb - Secrets of Blissful Relationships - on relationship - www.menstuff.org/columns/bliss/archive.html
  • Stuart Wilde - Spirituality - www.menstuff.org/columns/wilde/archive.html
  • Dr.Williams - Sex Health - on sexual health - Dr. Williams, www.menstuff.org/columns/sexhealth/archive.html
  • KC Wilson - On Gender Politics is a social commentator and author. www.menstuff.org/columns/wilson/archive.html

Plus

  • Health Tips - on general health - www.menstuff.org/columns/healthtips/archive.html
  • Independent Means - resources for raising financially fit kids - www.menstuff.org/columns/independentmeans/archive.html
  • Numbers - www.menstuff.org/columns/numbers/archive.html
  • Questions - www.menstuff.org/columns/q&a/archive.html
  • Surprise - from a new columnist every month - www.menstuff.org/columns/surprise/archive.html
  • Words Can Heal - helping children grow up healthy - www.menstuff.org/columns/wordscanheal/archive.html
  • Wuzup?! - National or international events happening this month - www.menstuff.org/columns/whassup/archive.html

AWARENESS EVENTS THIS MONTH

February is Heart Disease Prevention (Healthy Heart), National Children's Dental Health, Ethnic Equality and *National African-American History Month - a time to honor all peoples and their positive traditions; time to meditate on the equality of all peoples, on the respect due to them and God-Goddess manifesting as African, Asian, European, Latin, Middle Eastern, Native American and Oceanic. The Mystic's Wheel of the Year 2000, AMD/Low Vision Awareness; *American Heart; A Day of Hearts: Child Awareness; International Boost Self-Esteem; International Expect Success; Library Lovers', Marfan Syndrome Awareness; National Children's Dental Health; National Sign Up for Summer Camp; National Weddings; National Wild Bird Feeding; and Plant the Seeds of Greatness Month.

Jan 29-Feb 4: *National Consumer Protection Week. Jan 30-Feb 3: Mid-Winter/Candlemas. Feb 2-9: I Hate Financial Planning Awareness Week. Feb 3-9: Cardiac Rehabilitation Week. Feb 4-10: International Personal and Business Coaching: National School Counseling Week. Feb 6-13: Art of Communication Week. Feb 10-16: Celebration of Love; Enabled Entrepreneurs; Freelance Writers Appreciation; Heart Failure Awareness; Home for Birds; Materials Testing; National Child Passenger Safety Awareness; National Family, Career and Community Leaders of America; National Resurrect Romance Week. Feb 1-17: International Flirting Week. Feb 12-19: National Condom Week. Feb 16-23: National FFA Week. Feb 17-23: International Friendship Week. Feb 18-22: Brotherhood-Sisterhood Week. Feb 19-26: Eating Disorders Awareness Week. Feb 22-24: Second Honeymoon Weekend. Feb 25-Mar 1: Read Me Week. Feb 25-Mar 3: Telecommuter Appreciation Week. Feb 1: Candlemas; Ground Hog Day. Feb 2: National Men's Grooming Day. Feb 3: Torture Abolition Day. Feb 4:  Weathermen's Day. Feb. 5: Dump Your "Significant Jerk"; Pay-a-Compliment Day. Feb 6: National Girls and Women in Sports; Wave All Your Fingers at Your Neighbors Day. Feb 7: Laugh and Grow Rich Day. Feb 8: National "DAV" Day. Feb 10: Be Electrific; Motivation; Satisfied Staying Single Day. Feb 11: Lost Penny Day. Feb 12: Black Love; Get a Different Name Day. Feb 13: Race Relations; Read to Your Child Day. Feb 14: Congenital Heart Defect Awareness; National Have-A-Heart; Heart 2 Heart; St.Valentine's Day. Feb 15: Remember the Maine Day. Feb 16: Who Shall I Be Day. Feb 17: National PTA Founders' Day.. Feb 18: President's Day. Feb 19: Student Volunteer Day. Feb 24: Children's Day. Feb 25: For Pete's Sake Day. Feb 27: Spay USA; Paczki Day. Feb 29: Bachelors' Day

* Means a Presidential Proclamation has been made.

National Missing Children's Day
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Men are so competitive that we even "out-die" women in all 15 of the major causes of death in the U.S. Most of these deaths are preventable with a positive change in life-style, eating habits, and/or general health care. Let's not strive so hard to hold on to this record. See what you can change now to live a healthier life.
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