Daily Thoughts & Issues

IN THIS ISSUE:

JULY 15

Days left until the next millennium 01.01.3001

Photo of the Week
Brad Lewis/Tony Stone Images
Achieve Your Dreams

July 15 - St. Swithin's Day if thou dost rain, For forty days it will remain. St. Swithin's Day, if thou be fair, For forty days 'twill rain na mair. The Old Farmer's Almanac * The US and the USSR begin the Apollo-Soyuz space mission (1975). They will link up in space and orbit for two days. * "640K ought to be enough for anybody," said Bill Gates in 1981. Then he invented windows. * A Soviet Aeroflot jet landed at Kennedy Airport in New York (1968) marking the start of direct commercial air flight between the US and the then USSR. * Birthdays: Willie Aames, Julian Bream, Brian Austin Green, Clement Clarke Moore, Saint Frances Xavier Cabrini, Alex George Karras, Ken Kercheval, Jesse Ventura, Rembrandt van Rihn, Jan-Michael Vincent, Forest Whitaker.

DAILY THOUGHTS

According to The 1993 Janus Report on Sexual Behavior, almost 40 percent of men age sixty-five and over are functioning just fine. Male menopause may not be a medical problem at all, but a mind-body syndrome with many factors that interact reciprocally: a man's age, hormonal activity, and general health level are medicated by the psychological confrontation he has in middle life over what it means to be "manly". New Passages

Until the age of twelve, boys and girls cry equally. After that, adolescent girls can cry about five times more readily than boys. Dr. Buff's 365 Day Parenting Calendar

Community is born when individual and group are no longer felt to be two independent realities. It doesn't operate on the level of personalities and ideas, but from a deeper location in the soul. Soul Mates

No marriage can be judged truly successful unless husband and wife are each other's best critics. The same holds true for friendship. The Road Less Traveled

A back rub is a great way to get things going - Sheri, 36. Best of 1001 Sex Secrets Every Man & Woman Should Know

Things to Be Happy About:  Early deliveries. A reviving breath of fresh air. Information booths. 14,000 Things to Be Happy About

Every flower smells a little different. Really Important Stuff My Kids Have Taught Me (Ed. Check it out for yourself, but watch out for bees.)

 You will continually attract the same lesson into your life. You will also draw to you teachers to teach you that lessons until you get it right. The only way you can free yourself of difficult patterns and issues you tend to repeat is by shifting your perspective so that you can recognize the patterns and learn the lessons that they offer. You may try to avoid the situations, but they will eventually catch up with you. If Life is a Game, These are the Rules

3 & 4 Years: How you can help your kids remember. If your child has trouble following a limited series o directions, this doesn't mean they are "flaky". It means they are a preschooler. If you want to help them enlarge their working memory, take these four steps:  Make sure you have their attention by making eye contact. If you need to , gently hold their shoulders for a moment before you speak. Give clear directions by limiting them to no more than one or two in the beginning. Ask the child to repeat back to you what they are going to do. And don't forget to praise the effort, no matter how successful they are. Parents Tips & Tricks

Reactive people focus on circumstances over which they have no control. The negative energy generated by that focus, combined with neglect in areas they could do something about, causes their Circle of Influence to shrink. Proactive people focus their efforts on the things they can do something about. The nature of their energy is positive, enlarging and magnifying, causing their Circle of Influence to increase.  Seven Habits of Highly Effective People

After fashion designer Gianni Versace was murdered by Andrew Cunanan on this day in 1997, Versace's companion of eleven years, Antonio D'Amico, was virtually invisible during the media's coverage of Versace's life and death. Gay & Lesbian Calendar

"When one door closes, another opens: but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us." - Alexander Graham Bell. When feeling discouraged about the door in your face, look in a different direction and see what other possibility awaits you! Stress Busters

Get some safe, glow-in-the-dark balls (or toy). Hold it under a lamp. Now turn off the lights and play catch with your kids. Keep an eye on the toy, and it's easy! It's the brightest thing in the dark. To Do Today

When you're prepared, you're more confident. When you have a strategy, you're more comfortable. - Fred Couples.  Win the Day!

Desvelar (dehsbehLAHR) To keep awake. El te me desvelo. The tea kept me awake. Living Language

TODAY'S ISSUE: TEARS

Weeping...softens the hardened and dried-up soul, making it receptive and alive. It clears the mind. It opens the heart. Tears soften, clarify and open - Alan Jones. "Big boys don't cry" is a spell cast on many male children. Such a spell prevents them from drawing on a natural healing process. "Stiff upper lip" is a common cover-up in the face of pain and loss. Or, "If you don't stop crying, I'll give you something to cry about."  Did you have these or similar spells cast on you while growing up?  To break their curse, it helps to remember the exact words and any gesture that came with them. Then we can work to erase those restrictive messages and create new ones that give us permission to weep. Telling a child not to cry can bind shame to weeping. The child will learn to feel that there is something inherently wrong and shameful with crying. Grown men can benefit from shame reduction to enable ourselves to cry again. We can relearn how to cry. Too many adults forget the natural healing waters and benefits that flow when we release the dams. Warriors of old wept openly at the loss of comrades. Weeping is manly. Cutting off tears disables a man's healing. Tears are a sign of healing, an indication that the body is restoring itself. Tears are a great mystery that serve to cleanse. Perhaps there are tears I have been holding on to. If so, today might be a good day to release them. A Quiet Strength: Meditations on the Masculine Soul

I believe it was General Norman Schwartzkopf who said, "I don't trust a man who doesn't cry."

Hey Man: Did you make a difference yesterday? Let us know at Contact Us. You can't solve emotional problems alone. Find strength by reaching out to friends in your times of need. What Every Man Needs to Know Want to make a difference but you don't know where to start?

BOOK OF THE WEEK

 

Social Work Practice with Men at Risk by Rich Putnam. Treating men as a culturally distinct group, the author integrates key conceptions of masculinity into culturally sensitive social work practice with men. Focusing on veterans, displaced workers, substance abusers, mental health consumers, and other groups that might be unlikely to seek help, he deftly explores the psychosocial development of men, along with the globalization of men's lives, alternative conceptions of masculinity, and special dynamics within male relationships. He bolsters his conclusions with case studies and evidence-based interventions. His cutting-edge research merges four key social work theories and explores how they inform practice with mental health issues, compulsive disorders, addition and violence. By promoting gender equity and culturally competent practice with men, he bridges the gap between clinical and macro practice. The book is a crucial text for educators and practitioners hoping to pursue effective, far-reaching interventions. Columbia University Press, 2010, www.cup.columbia.edu, ISBN 9 780231 143813

SPECIAL URLs

 

MENSTUFF COLUMNS BY AUTHOR

  • The Advice Diva - The Advice Diva - relationship and sexuality issues discussed - www.menstuff.org/columns/advicediva/archive.html
  • Peter Alsop - Song of the Month - www.menstuff.org/columns/alsop/archive.html
  • Reid Baer - A Man Overboard - Interview of the Month - www.menstuff.org/columns/overboard/archive.html
  • Reid Baer - Poetry - poetry read on YouTube - www.menstuff.org/columns/baer/archive.html
  • Molly Barrow - Shrink About This - www.menstuff.org/columns/barrow/archive.html
  • Peter Baylies - At Home Dads - on at-home-dad issues that impact fathers who stay at home to raise their kids - www.menstuff.org/columns/baylies/archive.html
  • Tom Blake - Middle-Age Relationships - from an expert on dating after 50. www.menstuff.org/columns/blake/archive.html
  • Mark Brandenburg - Great Fathers - on fathering issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/greatfathers/archive.html
  • Ted Braude - BoysWork - a columnist in the The Detroit Free Press "Body and Mind" section www.menstuff.org/columns/braude/archive.html
  • Armin Brott - A Father's Guide - hosts "Positive Parenting" on radio www.menstuff.org/columns/brott/archive.html
  • Dan Bulf - Get Real - weekly pod cast on men's issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/bulf/archive.html
  • Ken Byers - Transition - on men's life transitions - www.menstuff.org/columns/byers/archive.html
  • Sandra L. Caron - Sex Talk - college students get answers to their questions - www.menstuff.org/columns/sextalk/archive.html
  • Neil Chethik - Relationships - www.menstuff.org/columns/chethik/archive.html
  • Otto & Susie Collins - Susie and Otto - relationship issues discussed - www.menstuff.org/columns/susie&otto/archive.html
  • David Copeland - How to Succeed with Women - www.menstuff.org/columns/howtosucceed/archive.html
  • Forrest Craver - Spirituality & Social Change - www.menstuff.org/columns/craver/archive.html
  • Layne & Paul Cutright - Powerful Partnerships - relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/cutright/archive.html
  • Ron DesMarais - Cavemen in the Kitchen - great recipes for men - www.menstuff.org/columns/desmarais/archive.html
  • Jed Diamond - Irritable Male Syndrome - www.menstuff.org/columns/diamond/archive.html
  • Doc Love - Women Don't Lie, Man Don't Listen - answers to relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/doclov/archive.html
  • Barry Durdant-Hollamby - Creating Change - creating change in your life - www.menstuff.org/columns/durdant/archive.html
  • Irv Engel - The Real Deal - www.menstuff.org/columns/engel/archive.html
  • Nancy Fagan - Expert Dating Advice - with Nancy Fagan - www.menstuf.org/columns/fagan/archive.html
  • Warren Farrell - Men's Issues: Facts and Perspectives www.menstuff.org/columns/farrell/archive.html
  • Leonard Felder - Wake Up or Break Up - www.menstuff.org/columns/felder/archive.html
  • Marty Friedman - Strong Men, Strong Marriage - www.menstuff.org/columns/friedman/archive.html
  • Kim Garretson - Mansgland - using humor to encourage prostate exams - www.menstuff.org/columns/mansgland/archive.html
  • Lion Goodman - How to get Women to Love You - www.menstuff.org/columns/goodman/archive.html
  • Liz Halliday - In a Man's World - www.menstuff.org/columns/halliday/archive.html
  • Rick Hanson - Your Wise Brain - www.menstuff.org/columns/hanson/archive.html
  • Tim Hartnett - Daddyman Speaks - being a father www.menstuff.org/columns/daddyman/archive.html
  • John Hershey - Blood, Phlegm & Bile: Parenting with Humor - He writes a syndicated biweekly humor column about parenting and family life. www.menstuff.org/columns/hershey/archive.html
  • Gary Hoeber - Psychotherapy as Soul Work, www.menstuff.org/columns/hoeber/archive.html
  • Patrick Houser - Fathers Make a World of Difference, www.menstuff.org/columns/houser/archive.html
  • Paul Joannides - The Guide to Getting It On - on sex - www.menstuff.org/columns/getiton/archive.html
  • Jack Kahn - NOMAS Boston - www.menstuff.org/columns/kahn/archive.html
  • Patrick Kennedy - Seniors - www.menstuff.org/columns/kennedy/archive.html
  • Joe Kort - Gaydar - to increase understanding between gay and het men - www.menstuff.org/columns/kort/archive.html
  • David Kundtz - David Kundtz - presents seminars, workshops, retreats, and conference presentations in the areas of men's emotional health, stress management, and spirituality. www.menstuff.org/columns/kundtz/archive.html
  • Bruce Linton - Dr. Dad - on fathering - www.menstuff.org/columns/drdad/archive.html
  • Ron Louis - How to Succeed with Women - www.menstuff.org/columns/howtosucceed/archive.html
  • Tom Matlack - Tom Matlack - Good Men Project - www.menstuff.org/columns/matlack/archive.html
  • Wendy McElroy - Wendy McElroy on Feminism, www.menstuff.org/columns/mcelroy/archive.html
  • Robert N. Minor - Minor Details - on GBT sexuality - www.menstuff.org/columns/minordetails/archive.html
  • Robert L. Moore - Man & Mythology - www.menstuff.org/columns/moore/archive.html
  • Dennis W. Neder - Being a Man - general questions about men's lives - www.menstuff.org/columns/neder/archive.html
  • Marty Nemko - Worklife - general questions about men and work - www.menstuff.org/columns/nemko/archive.html
  • Eli Newberger - Eli Newberger - general information on men's lives - www.menstuff.org/columns/newberger/archive.html
  • Linda Nielsen - Embracing the Father - working with the father/daughter relationship. www.menstuff.org/columns/nielsen/archive.html
  • Kathy Noll - Bullies and Youth Violence - working with schools, teachers and parents to end school violence - www.menstuff.org/columns/noll/archive.html
  • Mark Phillips - Stay-at-Home-Dads - helping men maintain that which makes us men, instead of becoming hairy Mom-substitutes - www.menstuff.org/columns/phillips/archive.html
  • Carey Roberts - Socialism & Feminism - is a social commentator on political correctness. www.menstuff.org/columns/roberts/archive.html
  • Perry Rose - Dating, Relationship, Sex
  • Glenn Sacks - His Side - on fathering - www.menstuff.org/columns/sacks/archive.html
  • Trudy Schuett - Domestic Violence - serving the under-represented www.menstuff.org/columns/schuett/archive.html
  • Carl J. Schutt - Circumcision - social commentator on circumcision - www.menstuff.org/columns/schutt/archive.html
  • Hugo Schwyzer - A Pro-feminist's Response - www.menstuff.org/columns/schwyzer/archive.html
  • Michael Shaffran - Men's Issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/shaffran/archive.html
  • Judith Sherven - Judith & Jim - discussion and answers regarding relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/judith&jim/archive.html
  • Judith Sherven - The New Intimacy - www.menstuff.org/columns/newintimacy/archive.html
  • George Simons - Bellicose Veins - is a US specialist in intercultural and gender communication who hangs out in Mandelieu - la Napoule, France, as well as in Santa Cruz, CA. www.menstuff.org/columns/simons/archive.html
  • Andy Smith - Hard Hat Brotherhood - www.menstuff.org/columns/hardhat/archive.html
  • David B. Smith - Fighting Father Dave - www.menstuff.org/columns/smith/archive.html
  • Jim Sniechowski - Judith & Jim - discussion and answers regarding relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/judith&jim/archive.html
  • Jim Sniechowski - The New Intimacy - www.menstuff.org/columns/newintimacy/archive.html
  • Reena Sommer - Custody - is an internationally recognized relationship and divorce consultant. www.menstuff.org/columns/sommer/archive.html
  • R. Don Steele - Don Steele - relationship questions answered -
    www.menstuff.org/columns/steele/archive.html
  • David Steinberg - Comes Naturally - on sexuality - www.menstuff.org/columns/steinberg/archive.html
  • Mary Lou St Lucas - A Mother's Love - www.menstuf.org/columns/stlucas/archive.html
  • Surprise - Surprise Author - From a new columnist every month - www.menstuff.org/columns/surprise/archive.html
  • Steven Svoboda - Fatherhood, Activism and the Law www.menstuff.org/columns/svoboda/archive.html
  • Michael Taylor - A New Conversation with Men - www.menstuff.org/columns/taylor/archive.html
  • Bruce Van Horn - Yoga for Men - issues around the health benefits of yoga for men - www.menstuff.org/yoga/archive.html
  • Michael Webb - Secrets of Blissful Relationships - on relationship - www.menstuff.org/columns/bliss/archive.html
  • Stuart Wilde - Spirituality - www.menstuff.org/columns/wilde/archive.html
  • Dr.Williams - Sex Health - on sexual health - Dr. Williams, www.menstuff.org/columns/sexhealth/archive.html
  • KC Wilson - On Gender Politics is a social commentator and author. www.menstuff.org/columns/wilson/archive.html

Plus

  • Health Tips - on general health - www.menstuff.org/columns/healthtips/archive.html
  • Independent Means - resources for raising financially fit kids - www.menstuff.org/columns/independentmeans/archive.html
  • Numbers - www.menstuff.org/columns/numbers/archive.html
  • Questions - www.menstuff.org/columns/q&a/archive.html
  • Surprise - from a new columnist every month - www.menstuff.org/columns/surprise/archive.html
  • Words Can Heal - helping children grow up healthy - www.menstuff.org/columns/wordscanheal/archive.html
  • Wuzup?! - National or international events happening this month - www.menstuff.org/columns/whassup/archive.html

AWARENESS EVENTS THIS MONTH

July is Freedom Month. If you enjoy the benefits this country has to offer, you might check out what kind of men it took to found this country. The Fourth of July has more to it than beer, picnics, and baseball games. Read this! July is Anti-Boredom; National Mobility; Purposeful Parenting: Recreation and Parks; The month of the Muslim new year; Hemochromatosis Screening Awareness; National Foreign Language Month.

June 27 - July 4: Special Recreation Week. June 25-July 1: Deaf-Blindness Awareness Week. June 27 - July 4: Special Recreation Week. Jul 1-8 Music for Life; July 3-Aug 15: Air Conditioning Appreciation Days. Jul 4-10 - Freedom Week. July 8:-14: National Laundry Workers; National Therapeutic Recreation: Take Charge of Change Week. Jul 9-15 - Nude Recreation. July 15-21: *Captive Nations; Legal Revolution; National Plan to Promote Your Business Week. Jul 1 UN Day of Cooperation; International Joke; National Financial Freedom; National Recreation and Parks; National Purposeful Parenting, Jul 2 - I Forgot; Ducktona 500 Day; July 3: Compliment Your Mirror: Stay Out of the Sun Day. Jul 4 - Independence Day (U.S.); American Redneck; Fear from Fear of Speaking ; Independence-from-Meat Day; Sidewalk Egg Frying; Jul 5 - National Family Day, July 7: Father-Daughter Take a Walk Together; International UN Day of Cooperation. July 9: Don't Step on a Bee Day. July 10: Intern Appreciation Day. July 13: Skeptics' Day. July 14: Cow Apprecaition Day. July 15: National Ice Cream; Saint Swithin's Day. July 16: International Town Criers; Naitonal Get Out of the Doghouse Day. July 17: Wrong Way Corrigan Day. Jul 20 - Ugly Truck; Riot Act anniversary. July 21: Rat-Catchers Day. Jul 22 - Ice Cream Cone Day. July 23: Hot Enough For Ya Day. July 24: Cousins; Health and Happiness with Hypnosis Day. Jul 27 - *National Korean War Veterans Armistice; Take Your Houseplants for a Walk Day. July 29: *Parents' Day. Jul 30 - Father-In-Law Day, National Parent's Day.

* Means a Presidential Proclamation has been made.

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Men are so competitive that we even "out-die" women in all 15 of the major causes of death in the U.S. Most of these deaths are preventable with a positive change in life-style, eating habits, and/or general health care. Let's not strive so hard to hold on to this record. See what you can change now to live a healthier life.
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