Daily Thoughts & Issues

IN THIS ISSUE:

FEBRUARY 19

Days left until the next millennium 01.01.3001
 

Photo of the Week
Achieve Your Dreams

February 19 - The President ordered the internment of loyal Japanese Americans during World War II (1942); day to mourn Asian victims of internment and exclusion (past and present), make peace, and celebrate empowerment of Asian Americans. (An important video Stolen Ground.) The Mystic's Wheel of the Year * Ezra Pound wins the first Bollingen Prize for poetry. (1949) The award is controversial because Pound was charged with treason in 1945. * As a result of President Franklin Roosevelt's Executive Order 9066, some 110,000 Japanese-Americans living in coastal Pacific areas were placed in concentration camps in remote areas of Arizona, Arkansas, inland California, Colorado, Idaho, Utah and Wyoming. (1942) The interned Japanese-Americans (two-thirds were US citizens) lost an estimated $400 million in property. They were allowed to return to their homes January 2, 1945. * Beginning at dawn, the landing of 30,000 American troops took place on the barren 12-square-mile island of Iwo Jima. (1945) Initially there was little resistance, but 21,500 Japanese stood ready underground to fight to the last man to protect massive strategic fortifications linked by tunnels. * Birthdays: Nicolaus Copernicus, Justine Bateman, David Garrick, Sven Anders Hedin, Prince Andrew, Lou Christie, Jeff Daniels, Stephen Nichols, Smokey Robinson (William Robinson, Jr.,) Seal, Andrew Shue.

DAILY THOUGHTS

Asking for Help. There (is) a basic cry in persons...For some it is: "Help, please help me." Another cry may be "Hold me." Or, "Don't go away." Or the , "Let me alone." - James Hillman. Asking for help, admitting that we cannot do it all alone and that we need someone else, can be tough. Men are supposed to be self-sufficient, which can create a taboo against asking for help and create fear in men. Men are trained to follow the Lone Ranger and the Marlboro Man, who do not seek assistance. Men endure much unnecessary suffering because of our difficulties in reaching out to others for help. Men are not supposed to be needy, dependent, or weak. Yet everyone needs help. One reason we are here on earth is to help others - and to ask for help, thus drawing us into connection with others. Being a man does not have to mean always being able to solve every problem. Help can come in many forms, some unexpected - a should to cry on, a friendly check in the mail that helps get us through a difficult time, a stranger's smile in the streets. In order to be helped one has to be open to it. Studies reveal that those who welcome help literally live longer. They also have more fun. Today I will practice asking for help, perhaps with something small. As I do I will allow myself to feel whatever comes up - perhaps fear or the pleasure of connection. A Quiet Strength: Meditations on the Masculine Soul

If I truly showed my feelings, the other guys would eat me alive. It's too dog-eat-dog out there to be honest about the things that really count to you. You can't leave yourself wide open like that. - Michael E. McGill. As we deepen our commitment to strong and mature manhood, we see a conflict between this program and much of what we learned as young men. When we drop our defenses and are honest, we take the change of getting hurt. Many of us learned long ago that when we became vulnerable, others became abusive. It is difficult to abandon everything we learned about being nobody's fool and staying safe. In fact, we don't have to leave ourselves wide open. We can be selective about how open we ill be and whom we will trust. But for our spiritual growth to continue, we must be an open book to ourselves, to our Higher Power and to a few friends. We must face the fear of being open to others in this program. Developing true friends is part of the change which the program brings. I pray for the courage to be honest with myself and to stand up for who I truly am with my friends. Touchstones: A Book of Daily Meditations for Men

Women and men of the Vietnam Generation (born 1946-55) bolted from the tradition of marrying by one's mid-twenties. Almost half the men and 30 percent of the women born between 1946 and 1950 were still single by their mid-twenties. They launched a strong and healthy trend toward postponed marriage that has continued up to the 1990s. New Passages

Why is he drooling?  Drooling is considered cute in a baby. But as a child gets older, this once-adorable habit starts to bother parents. Drooling is frequently caused by erupting teeth, which stimulate the production of saliva, and is common in a child 3 and under. After the molars emerge, between the ages of 2 and 3, drooling should subside. Parents Tips & Tricks

Add value to every day. Sharpen your skills, your understanding. Achieve Your Dreams

Things to Be Happy About:  Waking up early and rested. An empty, snow-covered football stadium. Powerful flashlights. 14,000 Things to Be Happy About

You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. If Life is a Game, These are the Rules

We simply assume that the way we see things is the way they really are or the way they should be, and our attitudes and behaviors grow out of those assumptions. Seven Habits of Highly Effective People

In response to her history-making coming out episode on television in 1997, actress Ellen DeGeneres was quoted as saying, "Growing up I didn't have that - gay characters (on TV). Well, Mary Tyler Moore and Rhoda were lovers, but they didn't talk about it." Gay & Lesbian Calendar

Start walking. It requires no fancy equipment, no new clothes, no club membership and it's the best exercise you can get. Try it for a month. Once you've done it for a month, commit to it for six months. After you've walked regularly for six months, the chances are good you'll stick with it for life. Simplify Your Life

Blaming others for your own stress will just keep you stressed out. Learn to take responsibility for your own well-being.  Stress Busters

For they conquer who believe they can - John Dryden. Win the Day

Teach your children to recognize the major constellations. Life's Little Instruction Calendar

 And yet, in the schoolroom more than any other place, does the difference of sex, if there is any, need to be forgotten. - Susan B. Anthony The Old Farmer's Almanac

No pining. Are you constantly comparing your relationship with the couple down the block or some celebrity's marriage? Do you suffer heartbreak because you don't have what they have? Do you read romance novels, aching for that kind of swept-away dream? Or do you have your feet planted squarely in reality, grateful for the real romance you've created with the loving partner who shares your heart and your bed? If you're wasting your life pining for what you don't have, please be suspicious of your investment in suffering, in melodrama, rather than loving and being loved. You are Irving your priorities. If you choose to pine, ask yourself, "What do I achieve by insisting on suffering?" Don't allow yourself the cop-out of, "I don't know." Have you always gone without, and it feels normal? Do you get lots of attention for your suffering?  Look deep inside. Today, allow yourself to focus only on the value of what you have. Banish pining at least for today. "I've never let myself get into a situation of pining away for someone or something I couldn't have." Jamie Lee Curtis Opening to Love 365 Days a Year

El estornudo (ehstohrNOOdah) Sneeze. Jesus!  Que estornudo!  Bless you!  What a sneeze! Living Language

 

TODAY'S ISSUE: EXPERIENCE

He who is outside the door has already a good part of his journey behind him. - Dutch Proverb

When we see how far we strayed from the kind of men we wanted to be, we are overwhelmed by how far we have to go to get back on the track. Perhaps we see clearly for the first time how unfair we were or how much we hurt those we love. Maybe we see how pervasive our compulsions are in our lives and how much we missed.

That is when we are most ready to do the work of recovery and become most spiritual. It is helpful at those times to remember that this program is a journey. Although at times the distance seems overwhelming, all of us are on the path. As long as we live, we never reach a point where we can stop growing. The important thing is we are on the path, we have a good part of our journey behind us. Once begun, outside the door, we are progressing like all our brothers and sisters in the program.

Today, I will remember it is the reward of the journey itself, not the destination, that I seek. Touchstones

Hey Man: Did you make a difference yesterday? Let us know at Contact Us. If you spot a deer, keep watching it until it stops watching you. What Every Man Needs to Know Want to make a difference but you don't know where to start?

 

BOOK OF THE WEEK

Jeff Kinney's latest Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Dog Days, 2009 . Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The last straw 2009 Also see Diary of a Wimpy Kid:, 2007 ; Roderick Rules 2008 ; and Do it Yourself Book 2008 . A very fun series and good lessons for fathers of kids, especially boys, who aren't into macho endeavors. Good for all kids to get a sense of some of the trials and tribulations of a not-so-macho boy and ways to handle it. It's fun.

SPECIAL URLs

 

MENSTUFF COLUMNS BY AUTHOR

  • The Advice Diva - The Advice Diva - relationship and sexuality issues discussed - www.menstuff.org/columns/advicediva/archive.html
  • Peter Alsop - Song of the Month - www.menstuff.org/columns/alsop/archive.html
  • Reid Baer - A Man Overboard - Interview of the Month - www.menstuff.org/columns/overboard/archive.html
  • Reid Baer - Poetry - poetry read on YouTube - www.menstuff.org/columns/baer/archive.html
  • Molly Barrow - Shrink About This - www.menstuff.org/columns/barrow/archive.html
  • Peter Baylies - At Home Dads - on at-home-dad issues that impact fathers who stay at home to raise their kids - www.menstuff.org/columns/baylies/archive.html
  • Tom Blake - Middle-Age Relationships - from an expert on dating after 50. www.menstuff.org/columns/blake/archive.html
  • Mark Brandenburg - Great Fathers - on fathering issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/greatfathers/archive.html
  • Ted Braude - BoysWork - a columnist in the The Detroit Free Press "Body and Mind" section www.menstuff.org/columns/braude/archive.html
  • Armin Brott - A Father's Guide - hosts "Positive Parenting" on radio www.menstuff.org/columns/brott/archive.html
  • Dan Bulf - Get Real - weekly pod cast on men's issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/bulf/archive.html
  • Ken Byers - Transition - on men's life transitions - www.menstuff.org/columns/byers/archive.html
  • Sandra L. Caron - Sex Talk - college students get answers to their questions - www.menstuff.org/columns/sextalk/archive.html
  • Neil Chethik - Relationships - www.menstuff.org/columns/chethik/archive.html
  • Otto & Susie Collins - Susie and Otto - relationship issues discussed - www.menstuff.org/columns/susie&otto/archive.html
  • David Copeland - How to Succeed with Women - www.menstuff.org/columns/howtosucceed/archive.html
  • Forrest Craver - Spirituality & Social Change - www.menstuff.org/columns/craver/archive.html
  • Layne & Paul Cutright - Powerful Partnerships - relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/cutright/archive.html
  • Ron DesMarais - Cavemen in the Kitchen - great recipes for men - www.menstuff.org/columns/desmarais/archive.html
  • Jed Diamond - Irritable Male Syndrome - www.menstuff.org/columns/diamond/archive.html
  • Doc Love - Women Don't Lie, Man Don't Listen - answers to relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/doclov/archive.html
  • Barry Durdant-Hollamby - Creating Change - creating change in your life - www.menstuff.org/columns/durdant/archive.html
  • Irv Engel - The Real Deal - www.menstuff.org/columns/engel/archive.html
  • Nancy Fagan - Expert Dating Advice - with Nancy Fagan - www.menstuf.org/columns/fagan/archive.html
  • Warren Farrell - Men's Issues: Facts and Perspectives www.menstuff.org/columns/farrell/archive.html
  • Leonard Felder - Wake Up or Break Up - www.menstuff.org/columns/felder/archive.html
  • Marty Friedman - Strong Men, Strong Marriage - www.menstuff.org/columns/friedman/archive.html
  • Kim Garretson - Mansgland - using humor to encourage prostate exams - www.menstuff.org/columns/mansgland/archive.html
  • Lion Goodman - How to get Women to Love You - www.menstuff.org/columns/goodman/archive.html
  • Liz Halliday - In a Man's World - www.menstuff.org/columns/halliday/archive.html
  • Rick Hanson - Just One Thing - www.menstuff.org/columns/hanson/archive.html
  • Tim Hartnett - Daddyman Speaks - being a father www.menstuff.org/columns/daddyman/archive.html
  • John Hershey - Blood, Phlegm & Bile: Parenting with Humor - He writes a syndicated biweekly humor column about parenting and family life. www.menstuff.org/columns/hershey/archive.html
  • Gary Hoeber - Psychotherapy as Soul Work, www.menstuff.org/columns/hoeber/archive.html
  • Patrick Houser - Fathers Make a World of Difference, www.menstuff.org/columns/houser/archive.html
  • Paul Joannides - The Guide to Getting It On - on sex - www.menstuff.org/columns/getiton/archive.html
  • Jack Kahn - NOMAS Boston - www.menstuff.org/columns/kahn/archive.html
  • Patrick Kennedy - Seniors - www.menstuff.org/columns/kennedy/archive.html
  • Joe Kort - Gaydar - to increase understanding between gay and het men - www.menstuff.org/columns/kort/archive.html
  • David Kundtz - David Kundtz - presents seminars, workshops, retreats, and conference presentations in the areas of men's emotional health, stress management, and spirituality. www.menstuff.org/columns/kundtz/archive.html
  • Bruce Linton - Dr. Dad - on fathering - www.menstuff.org/columns/drdad/archive.html
  • Ron Louis - How to Succeed with Women - www.menstuff.org/columns/howtosucceed/archive.html
  • Wendy McElroy - Wendy McElroy on Feminism, www.menstuff.org/columns/mcelroy/archive.html
  • Robert N. Minor - Minor Details - on GBT sexuality - www.menstuff.org/columns/minordetails/archive.html
  • Robert L. Moore - Man & Mythology - www.menstuff.org/columns/moore/archive.html
  • Dennis W. Neder - Being a Man - general questions about men's lives - www.menstuff.org/columns/neder/archive.html
  • Marty Nemko - Worklife - general questions about men and work - www.menstuff.org/columns/nemko/archive.html
  • Eli Newberger - Eli Newberger - general information on men's lives - www.menstuff.org/columns/newberger/archive.html
  • Linda Nielsen - Embracing the Father - working with the father/daughter relationship. www.menstuff.org/columns/nielsen/archive.html
  • Kathy Noll - Bullies and Youth Violence - working with schools, teachers and parents to end school violence - www.menstuff.org/columns/noll/archive.html
  • Mark Phillips - Stay-at-Home-Dads - helping men maintain that which makes us men, instead of becoming hairy Mom-substitutes - www.menstuff.org/columns/phillips/archive.html
  • Carey Roberts - Socialism & Feminism - is a social commentator on political correctness. www.menstuff.org/columns/roberts/archive.html
  • Perry Rose - Dating, Relationship, Sex
  • Glenn Sacks - His Side - on fathering - www.menstuff.org/columns/sacks/archive.html
  • Trudy Schuett - Domestic Violence - serving the under-represented www.menstuff.org/columns/schuett/archive.html
  • Carl J. Schutt - Circumcision - social commentator on circumcision - www.menstuff.org/columns/schutt/archive.html
  • Hugo Schwyzer - A Pro-feminist's Response - www.menstuff.org/columns/schwyzer/archive.html
  • Michael Shaffran - Men's Issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/shaffran/archive.html
  • Judith Sherven - Judith & Jim - discussion and answers regarding relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/judith&jim/archive.html
  • Judith Sherven - The New Intimacy - www.menstuff.org/columns/newintimacy/archive.html
  • George Simons - Bellicose Veins - is a US specialist in intercultural and gender communication who hangs out in Mandelieu - la Napoule, France, as well as in Santa Cruz, CA. www.menstuff.org/columns/simons/archive.html
  • Andy Smith - Hard Hat Brotherhood - www.menstuff.org/columns/hardhat/archive.html
  • David B. Smith - Fighting Father Dave - www.menstuff.org/columns/smith/archive.html
  • Jim Sniechowski - Judith & Jim - discussion and answers regarding relationship issues - www.menstuff.org/columns/judith&jim/archive.html
  • Jim Sniechowski - The New Intimacy - www.menstuff.org/columns/newintimacy/archive.html
  • Reena Sommer - Custody - is an internationally recognized relationship and divorce consultant. www.menstuff.org/columns/sommer/archive.html
  • R. Don Steele - Don Steele - relationship questions answered -
    www.menstuff.org/columns/steele/archive.html
  • David Steinberg - Comes Naturally - on sexuality - www.menstuff.org/columns/steinberg/archive.html
  • Mary Lou St Lucas - A Mother's Love - www.menstuf.org/columns/stlucas/archive.html
  • Surprise - Surprise Author - From a new columnist every month - www.menstuff.org/columns/surprise/archive.html
  • Steven Svoboda - Fatherhood, Activism and the Law www.menstuff.org/columns/svoboda/archive.html
  • Michael Taylor - A New Conversation with Men - www.menstuff.org/columns/taylor/archive.html
  • Bruce Van Horn - Yoga for Men - issues around the health benefits of yoga for men - www.menstuff.org/yoga/archive.html
  • Michael Webb - Secrets of Blissful Relationships - on relationship - www.menstuff.org/columns/bliss/archive.html
  • Stuart Wilde - Spirituality - www.menstuff.org/columns/wilde/archive.html
  • Dr.Williams - Sex Health - on sexual health - Dr. Williams, www.menstuff.org/columns/sexhealth/archive.html
  • KC Wilson - On Gender Politics is a social commentator and author. www.menstuff.org/columns/wilson/archive.html

Plus

  • Health Tips - on general health - www.menstuff.org/columns/healthtips/archive.html
  • Independent Means - resources for raising financially fit kids - www.menstuff.org/columns/independentmeans/archive.html
  • Numbers - www.menstuff.org/columns/numbers/archive.html
  • Questions - www.menstuff.org/columns/q&a/archive.html
  • Surprise - from a new columnist every month - www.menstuff.org/columns/surprise/archive.html
  • Words Can Heal - helping children grow up healthy - www.menstuff.org/columns/wordscanheal/archive.html
  • Wuzup?! - National or international events happening this month - www.menstuff.org/columns/whassup/archive.html

AWARENESS EVENTS THIS MONTH

February is Heart Disease Prevention (Healthy Heart), National Children's Dental Health, Ethnic Equality and *National African-American History Month - a time to honor all peoples and their positive traditions; time to meditate on the equality of all peoples, on the respect due to them and God-Goddess manifesting as African, Asian, European, Latin, Middle Eastern, Native American and Oceanic. The Mystic's Wheel of the Year 2000, AMD/Low Vision Awareness; *American Heart; A Day of Hearts: Child Awareness; International Boost Self-Esteem; International Expect Success; Library Lovers', Marfan Syndrome Awareness; National Children's Dental Health; National Sign Up for Summer Camp; National Weddings; National Wild Bird Feeding; and Plant the Seeds of Greatness Month.

Jan 29-Feb 4: *National Consumer Protection Week. Jan 30-Feb 3: Mid-Winter/Candlemas. Feb 2-9: I Hate Financial Planning Awareness Week. Feb 3-9: Cardiac Rehabilitation Week. Feb 4-10: International Personal and Business Coaching: National School Counseling Week. Feb 6-13: Art of Communication Week. Feb 10-16: Celebration of Love; Enabled Entrepreneurs; Freelance Writers Appreciation; Heart Failure Awareness; Home for Birds; Materials Testing; National Child Passenger Safety Awareness; National Family, Career and Community Leaders of America; National Resurrect Romance Week. Feb 1-17: International Flirting Week. Feb 12-19: National Condom Week. Feb 16-23: National FFA Week. Feb 17-23: International Friendship Week. Feb 18-22: Brotherhood-Sisterhood Week. Feb 19-26: Eating Disorders Awareness Week. Feb 22-24: Second Honeymoon Weekend. Feb 25-Mar 1: Read Me Week. Feb 25-Mar 3: Telecommuter Appreciation Week. Feb 1: Candlemas; Ground Hog Day. Feb 2: National Men's Grooming Day. Feb 3: Torture Abolition Day. Feb 4:  Weathermen's Day. Feb. 5: Dump Your "Significant Jerk"; Pay-a-Compliment Day. Feb 6: National Girls and Women in Sports; Wave All Your Fingers at Your Neighbors Day. Feb 7: Laugh and Grow Rich Day. Feb 8: National "DAV" Day. Feb 10: Be Electrific; Motivation; Satisfied Staying Single Day. Feb 11: Lost Penny Day. Feb 12: Black Love; Get a Different Name Day. Feb 13: Race Relations; Read to Your Child Day. Feb 14: Congenital Heart Defect Awareness; National Have-A-Heart; Heart 2 Heart; St.Valentine's Day. Feb 15: Remember the Maine Day. Feb 16: Who Shall I Be Day. Feb 17: National PTA Founders' Day.. Feb 18: President's Day. Feb 19: Student Volunteer Day. Feb 24: Children's Day. Feb 25: For Pete's Sake Day. Feb 27: Spay USA; Paczki Day. Feb 29: Bachelors' Day

* Means a Presidential Proclamation has been made.

National Missing Children's Day
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Men are so competitive that we even "out-die" women in all 15 of the major causes of death in the U.S. Most of these deaths are preventable with a positive change in life-style, eating habits, and/or general health care. Let's not strive so hard to hold on to this record. See what you can change now to live a healthier life.
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